Author Topic: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.  (Read 5553 times)

Faust

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #50 on: March 31, 2009, 05:26:35 AM »
Aesop figured it out long ago: "The Farmer and the Snake

ONE WINTER a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. "Oh," cried the Farmer with his last breath, "I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.""

The Scorpion and the Frog
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
$

Lynchie

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #51 on: March 31, 2009, 07:22:19 AM »
People don't change, best we can hope for is to learn. At least if we learn, there's a chance to deal with our own BS better.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Period.

The real question isn't why you'd want to hang out with a slut but why is your self esteem so low? Animals can smell fear and certain people can smell low self esteem a mile away. Instead of hopping from skank to skank you should spend some time working on yourself before messing things up and missing out on a good woman.

Just briefly motivate how you got to me having a low self esteem?

Lynchie

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #52 on: March 31, 2009, 07:23:41 AM »
Faust, that's a very nice story.

drkaje

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #53 on: March 31, 2009, 07:59:29 AM »
Just briefly motivate how you got to me having a low self esteem?

It's the women's board and I just don't have the time (right now) to explain it in a way that would fall within Stella's guidelines for being nice.

Just take my word on this and start asking yourself why crap like this happens. Ask enough times and you'll see I'm right. :)

If genuinely asking yourself doesn't help I'll take the time to explain it in a way Stella/Cheri can tolerate. There's always the Y board if you can stand the uncensored/unedited/unvarnished opinion but I honestly wouldn't recommend it.

tonymctones

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #54 on: March 31, 2009, 08:32:25 AM »
People don't change, best we can hope for is to learn. At least if we learn, there's a chance to deal with our own BS better.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Period.

The real question isn't why you'd want to hang out with a slut but why is your self esteem so low? Animals can smell fear and certain people can smell low self esteem a mile away. Instead of hopping from skank to skank you should spend some time working on yourself before messing things up and missing out on a good woman.
honestly and in all sincerity the best advice ever given on getbig...you should listen to kaje lynchie.

tonymctones

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #55 on: March 31, 2009, 08:42:57 AM »
Just briefly motivate how you got to me having a low self esteem?
Are you the type of guy who wants/needs to be in a relationship?

iono about your self esteem bro but in general ppl who jump from relationship to relationship are looking for approval...i.e. getting your self worth from others approval of you, they like me, they fuk me, must mean others see me in a favorable light...Another problem is that you end up losing yourself in all the different relationships and bs that you go through bro.

A HEALTHY relationship is a guy and a girl each with their own lives and then the guy+girl with their lives together, im not saying their independent lives are secret only that they have activities and friends that arent entirely inclusive to their relationship with their Sig. other. You simply jump from relationship to relationship it sounds like never developing YOU as an individual i know you will probably disagree with this but be honest with yourself b/c nobody else is going to be. Simply like this bro you cant ever really know who you are if your always in a relationship b/c in a relationship youre always making decisions based of both of you and not just you, you will be alot more happy being in a relationship when you are happy and content even when you are not in one.

RancherRanger

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #56 on: March 31, 2009, 08:55:15 AM »
Either she leaves him, or you leave.  If she chooses to stay with him, make sure he gets a copy of the texts.  If you've ever recorded you guys gettin busy, make sure he sees that also.  Honestly I wouldn't want the hoochie.  If she'll cheat on that guy, she'll cheat on you.

Lynchie

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #57 on: March 31, 2009, 11:06:19 AM »
It's the women's board and I just don't have the time (right now) to explain it in a way that would fall within Stella's guidelines for being nice.

Just take my word on this and start asking yourself why crap like this happens. Ask enough times and you'll see I'm right. :)

If genuinely asking yourself doesn't help I'll take the time to explain it in a way Stella/Cheri can tolerate. There's always the Y board if you can stand the uncensored/unedited/unvarnished opinion but I honestly wouldn't recommend it.

Explain away, it's impossible for me to take offence on the internet. Why does it happen? Don't know, it's happened twice now, out of 40 odd girls I've had the past 10 years or so. It usually breaks off because they want too much too fast. Sometimes a girl comes round that I really like and either it does work out or it doesn't.
I would not say I have low self esteem, eventhough you seem pretty set on it  ;D . If anything, I'm too arrogant and that have cost me girls in the past.

Lynchie

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #58 on: March 31, 2009, 11:08:16 AM »
Are you the type of guy who wants/needs to be in a relationship?

iono about your self esteem bro but in general ppl who jump from relationship to relationship are looking for approval...i.e. getting your self worth from others approval of you, they like me, they fuk me, must mean others see me in a favorable light...Another problem is that you end up losing yourself in all the different relationships and bs that you go through bro.

A HEALTHY relationship is a guy and a girl each with their own lives and then the guy+girl with their lives together, im not saying their independent lives are secret only that they have activities and friends that arent entirely inclusive to their relationship with their Sig. other. You simply jump from relationship to relationship it sounds like never developing YOU as an individual i know you will probably disagree with this but be honest with yourself b/c nobody else is going to be. Simply like this bro you cant ever really know who you are if your always in a relationship b/c in a relationship youre always making decisions based of both of you and not just you, you will be alot more happy being in a relationship when you are happy and content even when you are not in one.

No, i don't want to be in relationships, I never actively seek them, I seek out the sex. Sometimes a girl comes around that's harder to get than others, and I pull out all the stops to get her, on rare occasions she gets away. Bloody hell, this is the women board hey  ;D

drkaje

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #59 on: March 31, 2009, 11:18:56 AM »
Explain away, it's impossible for me to take offence on the internet. Why does it happen? Don't know, it's happened twice now, out of 40 odd girls I've had the past 10 years or so. It usually breaks off because they want too much too fast. Sometimes a girl comes round that I really like and either it does work out or it doesn't.
I would not say I have low self esteem, eventhough you seem pretty set on it  ;D . If anything, I'm too arrogant and that have cost me girls in the past.

Asking yourself once or twice won't get the answer. Besides..... if you're really that far from seeing the obvious there's no point to giving an answer.

I'm respecting the tone Estella wishes this forum to have, not your feelings.

tonymctones

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #60 on: March 31, 2009, 11:26:20 AM »
No, i don't want to be in relationships, I never actively seek them, I seek out the sex. Sometimes a girl comes around that's harder to get than others, and I pull out all the stops to get her, on rare occasions she gets away. Bloody hell, this is the women board hey  ;D
LOL bro sex is a relationship it may not be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but it is nonetheless a relationship and falls right inline with you seeking approval from others...in response to your other post arrogance is often a cover for insecurity.

Lynchie

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #61 on: March 31, 2009, 11:39:43 AM »
Ok Dr Phil and friends, I'm insecure, or something. The only guy ever moan a bit about girls and try and chase some tail. Gotcha, I'll get myself checked out. Right now I'm off to the gym and then a date. Ciao

tonymctones

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #62 on: March 31, 2009, 11:47:32 AM »
Ok Dr Phil and friends, I'm insecure, or something. The only guy ever moan a bit about girls and try and chase some tail. Gotcha, I'll get myself checked out. Right now I'm off to the gym and then a date. Ciao
Dr. phil is a fuking joke, only person who will really know for sure is you and the only way that will happen is if youre honest with yourself, being defensive about it really only shows we hit a nerve...not trying to be a dick you asked for advice, dont ask if you dont wanna hear the answer.

big L dawg

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #63 on: March 31, 2009, 11:52:52 AM »
Dr. phil is a fuking joke, only person who will really know for sure is you and the only way that will happen is if youre honest with yourself, being defensive about it really only shows we hit a nerve...not trying to be a dick you asked for advice, dont ask if you dont wanna hear the answer.

gotta agree with you on this tonymctones.Seems like this Lynchie guy needs to work on himself before he can work on any kind of relationship.
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QuakerOats

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #64 on: March 31, 2009, 12:45:09 PM »
damn, Doc laying the smack down in this thread.

SamoanIrishman

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #65 on: April 09, 2009, 09:45:49 AM »
Little bro..run, run far away. Not cool to keep seeing a married woman. When I was very young I dated a woman who told me she was divorced...then not "officially" but they have been separated and papers were in the works..then I found out they had been separated for almost 2yrs!! She had her own place and I had been there so I had no way of knowing she was technically married but, I told her straight, call me when you can show me proof the papers are filed and I walked.

Long story short, I moved on, they finally filed almost a YEAR later cause he got some other chick prego.

If you like her, and think she likes you...make her prove it. Though I must warn you, there are a lot of characture flaws there that won't change. She needs time...alone to figure out her shit as do you. If she files and relationship hops to you, it will be doomed.

I'd say have her file, stay "friends" while dating others, no sex with eachother for at least a year..then see if you two are still a good match. Right now, you are a distraction from her shitty life. A tool...that's it.

Both of you are codependant and need counseling to figure out why.

24KT

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #66 on: April 09, 2009, 11:58:46 AM »
I have a girlfriend who is "separated" from her husband, ...but not divorced.
They've been separated since the late 80's. they have NEVER made the divorce official, ...and she likes it like that.

It's her excuse for not committing to anyone else. "I can't marry you, because I'm technically already married".

That didn't go over so well with one of her boyfriends. He blew a gasket because she refused to make it official. It's not even like she even communicates with her ex. infact, I doubt she'd even know where or how to find him if it came right down to it, ...but it keeps her from having to walk down the aisle ever again.  Sometimes the lack of finality in a situation is not by accident, but by design.
w

SamoanIrishman

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Re: Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.
« Reply #67 on: April 09, 2009, 02:57:28 PM »
I have a girlfriend who is "separated" from her husband, ...but not divorced.
They've been separated since the late 80's. they have NEVER made the divorce official, ...and she likes it like that.

It's her excuse for not committing to anyone else. "I can't marry you, because I'm technically already married".

That didn't go over so well with one of her boyfriends. He blew a gasket because she refused to make it official. It's not even like she even communicates with her ex. infact, I doubt she'd even know where or how to find him if it came right down to it, ...but it keeps her from having to walk down the aisle ever again.  Sometimes the lack of finality in a situation is not by accident, but by design.

True but , whats the point of a relationship if they don't want a committment? Sex you say??? Fine, find a FWB...she sleeps with others as do you..but he seems to actually "like" this chick or he wouldn't give a crap about the husband if she was just a piece of ass.

So basically Lynchie..if you just want to F**k around and not be tied down at least find one that is low drama (perferably not married), they do exist...this chick will not be low drama. She IS tied down, seems to not mind it or said drama and wants ass on the side. It appears, she uses you to to make her feel better with the "wounded tiger" bit..she likes the victim role, you want to play hero. Her own little entertaining soap opera.

...this chic needs help.

Honestly you've gotten a LOT of great advice here but ultimately its up to you. If you want all here to give you advice just so you can shoot back an reply defending your or her actions hoping to "convince" us of something or to tell you what you want to hear...it won't happen. Most here have years of experience in the dating world and many may have similar experiences and I have yet to hear a positive outcome...have you?

No need to reply rudely if I insulted or angered you...being a little defensive is normal. But just think about it.