My last post in this weird thread I created. I’m just going to be honest. I’m a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and the early parts of this thread I was in a dark place. I was in Guadalajara, Mexico in a fucking shithole hostel in a tiny room with no windows drinking. I was getting robbed by Mexican police, my life was hell. I lived in Guadalajara for 7 fucking dark years. I drank and did all sorts of hard drugs. I even found Nubain which is impossible to get. The only positive thing I kept doing was training, albeit shit training, that’s how I ended up at John Romanos gym in Guadalajara. .
I did steroids to make up for shit training and shit diet. I feel shame as that’s not how steroids should be used. That’s not bodybuilding. I was an alcoholic drug addict, making up for shit diet and training by slamming those sustanon preloads you can get over the counter in Mexico. My life was out of control.
Anyway, to save my life I came back to the US and did what’s called Marijuana maintenance recovery, sometimes called “cali sober”. But I have bipolar, and it got me psychotic. I wasn’t drinking, but I was off the fuckin rails with marijuana. You can tell in some of the posts.
Anyway, for some weird reason I kept posting in this weird Getbig thread year after year. Im rarely here but every couple years I’d come back and post some weird shit. I never would have posted if it was an active board, but it was dead so I just let it out.
Many of the early posts I wrote in an alcoholic blackout. I can actually see the change from alcoholic to marijuana as the posts got less aggressive and more hippie, Beatles, crazy shit. It seemed profound when I wrote it, but marijuana is deceptive. It’s a fine line between opening your mind and just being a fuckin rambling, baked stoner. Any of you artists or authors out there, careful with marijuana. You might not be as profound as you think. I proved that. I’m embarrassed.
Looking back, I think the whole “god is truth” shit was About me praying to get sober. Truth=sober. The “sober truth”. I was longing to be free from addiction.
I used this dead conspiracy theory forum to vent my desperation at the inability to get sober. God is truth, once you accept truth you’ll get sober.
All kinds of weird rambling shit. I apologize.
That being said, I think there are some valid points in between the dunk, stoned, hippie bullshit. I stand behind everything I wrote. I made some valid, interesting points.
But it’s not a developed theory and not even a conspiracy theory at all, which is what the fuckin board is called. I’m fine if we delete The Whole thread. Like I said , I never would have posted if the board was active. I thought it showed it was active and might promote some activity. I’m a long time conspiracy theory fan for entertainment purposes. Way back to Art Bell.
Sorry this ended with some Oprah bullshit, but I think there are some valid points of discussion hidden in the hippie bullshit.
I’m sober now, I’m alive somehow. This thread was a journey of a desperate guy getting sober. But it’s not a conspiracy theory. I’m fine deleting the thread. I’m sorry.
Notomorrow out.