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SUMMERSLAM 2022 - THT for the Beast??

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MCWAY:
Just hours away and it's time for the biggest party of the summer. For the first time ever, it's held in July instead of August. That's weird.

I remember when SummerSlam was always held on the last monday of August.

Here we go:

Undisputed WWE World/Universal Championship (Last Man Standing Match) - Roman Reigns (c) vs. Brock Lesnar: It's been billed as "Last time, Last Match, Last Man Standing". Yet, we have this match for the umpteenth time because Randy Orton is out indefinitely. That means if somebody else goes on IR, WWE will call up the Beast again.

Every match these two have had has involved a world title; yet there has been just one other specialty match (the cage match in 2018 at the "Greatest Royal Rumble").

Heyman hyped it up to the max. This is Lesnar's "last chance"; he has nothing to lose; and it's going to take more than simply pinning him for three seconds. If the Beast is doing the time-honored-tradition, WWE is going to have to come up with some ungodly way for Reigns to beat him.

Will it be an 1994 Rumble-style thing with 10 guys jumping Lesnar to help Reigns? Will Reigns have to bury him in ladders, chairs, or some other silliness? Will he have to get electrocuted like the Big Show in 2009?

And then there's the Austin Theory factor. He's called his shot on cashing MITB on the survivor of this melee. No way they make him champion this early. So, either he gets beat up (Braun Strowman-style) and doesn't get to cash in the case. Or he becomes #5 to fail in cashing and winning a world title.  Reigns is less than a month away from a full TWO YEARS as Universal Champion. The Riddle storyline I propose would have been perfect. But, since he's not Mr. MITB (and he's injured, too), Reigns limps out of Nissan Stadium with both belts.

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships (special guest referee, "Double J" Jeff Jarrett)- The Usos (c) vs. the Street Profits:

This feud has grown almost as tired as the Reigns-Lesnar one. But, with injuries abounding and no new tag teams to build up, this has been the show. At least it shows that another team, besides New Day, can give the Usos a great match. But, this may be close to an upset special. This is the match that, if it happens at all, Montez Ford turns on Angelo Dawkins. This will give the Usos the win.

United States Championship - "The Almighty" Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Austin Theory: Lashley has gone from warring with the Beast Incarnate for the world title to scrapping with this upstart for the US title? How silly is this!! And there was a slog with Omos in between these feuds. I wish Theory would win this match. They can do more with him as US champion. But, since he's MITB, Lashley will keep the US belt.

Raw Women's Championship - Bianca Belair (c) vs. Becky Lynch: It all comes full circle. Lynch's surprise return nearly a year ago had the audience going wild. But, her 26-second win over Belair (originally scheduled to defend the Smackdown title against Banks, then Carmella got to pinch-hit) got her in the doghouse with the fans just as quickly. They rode this feud all the way to WrestleMania. Now they're fighting over the red women's belt instead of the blue one. This will likely be better than their match at 'Mania, and hopefully Bianca doesn't end up with a black eye again. The E-S-T retains her g-o-l-d.

Smackdown Women's Championship - Liv Morgan (c) vs. "Rowdy" Ronda Rousey: Rousey has been getting booed in arenas, unless she makes wise cracks about Natalya's ever-increasing implants. Could we see an official heel turn or a Charlotte Flair surprise? Morgan is the sympathetic favorite; so maybe she keeps her title for now.

The Mysterios vs. Judgment Day (No Disqualification): This can go one of two ways - Either Dominik actually turns on dear ol' Dad and joins Judgment Day, giving them the victory. Or, Edge makes his comeback to get even with his "kids" for throwing him out of the faction he created. I think the latter happens. Only problem is that Edge goes back to his old music. It would be neat if Edge returns in Brood style but using Judgment Day music.

The Miz vs. Logan Paul: Paul is new; he's a celebrity; and he needs and early push. So, I think he beats Miz but the feud continues.

Pat McAfee vs. Baron "Happy" Corbin: This is a good old-fashioned grudge match. WWE rarely knows how to build these up without titles involved. But, this could be the match of the night. McAfee put on a clinic at WM38. Corbin was on a roll until he lost to McIntyre and then to Moss (what is it with Corbin's opponents whose last name starts with "M"?). McAfee should dazzle the fans again and beat the "bum", as he calls him.

MCWAY:
Well, right out of the gate, it's the Raw women's title match.

What looked like a botched move has turned into some offense maneuver to damage Belair's shoulder. We already saw Reigns' shoulder get yanked out at 'Mania. No repeats, Please!!

Yanked into the barricade and a leg drop across Belair while she's hanging over the side....OUCH!!!

A KOD to the outside but Lynch slides into the ring right before the 10 count. Belair goes for another KOD but Lynch flips out of it. However, she jumps right into a power bomb. The champion for some reason goes to the top rope. Lynch knocks her down and goes for a super-plex. Belair shoves her to the mat; but, Lynch grabs that super long braid, yanks down Belair and drills her with a "Man-Handle" slam. Yet, we get no three count.

Now it's just lefts and rights, lots of rollups, Belair gets shoved to the buckles. She jumps up and tries to execute a counter but gets caught. Lynch goes for a super "Man-Handle" slam. But, Belair somersaults her onto the mat with a move Graves called a "Spanish Fly". Belair hits another KOD and this time the champ gets the 1-2-3, avenging her humiliating loss from last year. And, in a surprise move, Lynch offers her hand in friendship and the shake happens. Lynch may be going home for a while.

Now, we get three surprises, Bayley, Dakota Kai and Io Sharai. Now, I hope Belair isn't stupid enough to put the title up. WAIT!! They're a posse who wanted to roll up on Belair. But, guess who's back!! Lynch gets right in Bayley's face and, despite having the numbers game on their side, Bayley and crew back out to fight another day.

Next up....Miz vs. Logan Paul!

MCWAY:
Boy, this Logan Paul has been trained well. He's hitting powerslams, he's locking figure fours, flying blockbusters, the whole nine. Champa, who accompanied Miz to the ring (as well as Maryse) got caught trying to interfere and was ejected. When he refused to leave, AJ Styles music plays and Styles nails him from the crowd. Then Logan Paul execute a not-quite-so-phenomenal forearm to Miz to get a near-fall.

Miz rolls outside the ring only to get planted on the announce table. And then Paul gets froggy and executes the splash on Miz through the table to thunderous applause. He rolls Miz back into the ring for the cover. But Maryse stops the count from happening. Miz grabs the chain and tries to hit Logan Paul but misses and almost hit Maryse. Paul then hits Miz with a skull-crushing-finale on the self-proclaimed A-lister and got the win.

MCWAY:
US title match.....Well, that was less than stellar. Theory whacked Lashley with the case to get an early advantage but that wore off.

Lashley shook it off and rag dolled Theory and went for a spear. But Mr. MITB leapfrogged him and Lashley hit the post. Theory decided to get cute and do some forward rolls into a leaping clothesline. But, the Almighty one caught him, gorilla-pressed him, and instead of dropping or slamming him, pulled his opponent into the "Hurt-Lock". Theory wants no more and submits.

Now, it's Judgment Day vs. The Mysterios. A yawner or a shocker? We'll see!

Rey did some chair-surfing and landed on Balor. The Mysterios went for their tandem double 6-1-9, before predictably Rhea Ripley interfered, hosting Dominik on her shoulder and dropping him on his face. Then came a chokeslam on Rey from Damian Priest. Balor wanted more chairs to finish off the legend, when........OF COURSE!!! Lights go off, remixed Brood music, lots of flames and a red-jacketed EDGE RETURNS!! He kicked Priest in the face on his way to the ring, speared Balor, speared Priest when he returned to the ring, and set up Balor for the double 6-1-9. Rey hit a splash from outside the ring. And, it's a pin for the Mysterios.

MCWAY:
Here we go. McAfee and Corbin!!

Now that's wrong! Before Corbin completes his entrance, his music stops and a choir of men in black start singing in harmony, "Bum-@$$ Corbin!!". And McAfee heads to the ring!!

McAfee just hit Corbin with a super kick and after Corbin missed a clothesline in the corner, he nails a Franken-steiner on the Happy one. WOW!!

A failed superplex results in a backflip by McAfee, who gloats a little too long and gets dropkicked in the chest.

Corbin keeps jaw-jacking with the fans and with Michael Cole. After beating McAfee up on the announce table and berating him with a headset on his head, Corbin tosses his opponent back into the ring. McAfee gets a reversal, Corbin slides outside the ring only to get drop-kicked outside the ring and McAfee followed up with a splash to the floor.

McAfee goes for more offense but gets caught with a Deep-six. Corbin climbs to the top turnbuckle, only to have a rejuvenated McAfee leap to the same buckle, nearly losing his balance, and hitting a superplex for a near fall.

After some slugging by both men, Corbin goes for a tackle but hits the post. McAfee climbs to the top, almost slips again, but manages to settle himself before hitting one of the ugliest swantons ever seen. McAfee goes up again, after throwing Corbin back into the ring. He leaps over Corbin, who then goes for "End of Days". McAfee flips out of it but shoves Corbin into the ref.

So, in an obvious retaliation for last night, McAfee puts his punting skill to use, only on Corbin's nuts. He then goes to the 2nd rope and hits yet another ugly move, a somersault power bomb, for the pin and the win.

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