I would absolutely TKO Roy Jones because I would slam his old ass on his head
1) You couldn't get the PTO necessary to fight him
2) Em has an astigmatism so you would bail on the fight as most of these things are held at that time
3) You would invoke the organ / kidney failure excuse again
4) You would take lasik because you're a weak minded simpleton when people critique you
5) You would make roy sign off saying he wouldn't mess with your surgically rebuilt knees (provided you don't die climbing the steps into the ring)
6) You went into a coma because you dropped below 212.3786487623lbs and thus had to up the dose of everything for the mystical muscle wasting disease you have
7) you got stung again in the foot and can not fight for at least 3 months
Em wants to go to a sale at Hobby Lobby / Michaels / Home Depot that she needs you join her at