First job interview tomorrow

[Wolfox]

for a low paying security position.   But oh well I need a job. My money has almost run out.

I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and this is my first interview.

Real nervous about this since I'm not the most social person. I probably wont sleep tonight.

[galain]

As someone who has been on the other side of the table, the best piece of advice I can give you is to not forget how much power you have in the situation. Go in thinking you're the solution to their problem. People tend to forget that interviewers need to find someone and that they'll be noticing the person who stands out as the one who recognises their problem. Especially after speaking with several people - all of whom have similar backgrounds and experience. Be the different one (in a good way) that they'll remember.

You have a lot of opportunity to make an impression. Good luck.

[Wolfox]

Thank you for the advice. Thats exactly what I am aiming to do tomorrow - standout in a good way. I just hope I don't fumble trying with my anxiety.

[calfzilla]

You will probably get the job as long as you have a pulse. Get out of security ASAP though it is dead end.

[cephissus]

once i got on the "inside" and realized how hilariously disorganized and haphazard interviews are... it really took a lot of the mystique away.

hard to be as nervous when you've seen the guy "from the other side" dropping such gems as:

"oh shit i'm on a phone screen in 15 minutes?  what the hell am i gonna talk about?"

"yeah so i kind of missed the last 30 minutes of whatever that guy said"

"all i wrote down in my notes was 'I WANT TO PUNCH THIS CANDIDATE IN THE FACE'"

"i just ask them to explain concepts to me as if i'm evaluating them, so it's not obvious i have no idea what they're talking about"

^ all more or less legit quotes

[AbrahamG]

Go in commando style while wearing loose fitting slacks.  Give yourself a good fluffing in the car in the parking lot.  Take your time before being seated at the interview table.  Give the interviewer every opportunity to see just how might and confident you are in your own cock.  Do this, and the job is in the bag.  Good luck. 

[Croatch]

Tell them you bench 3 plates to warm up and you have almost 1000 posts on getbig.  If they look at you puzzled, smash them in the face and say, "fuck your low wage job...who the fuck are you to interview me?"
This will make you stand out....in a good way.
Best thing about a job that pays nothing, is it doesn't matter if you're hired or fired...fuck em...haha. It's not like its 100k per year...at that interview, polish up on you fluffing skills....as mentioned prior.

[The Onion]

Double dose pre-workout supplement before the interview. Try to get a hold of craze as it has some sort of meth-analogue in it. You will come of as very energetic and eager to get the job. Employers value these characteristics.

Oh, and don't forget to tell them that you're natural and that most Hollywood actors use steroids to look good. Really emphasize that you most likely would outsize Mark Wahlberg if you were on steroids.

Good luck!

[macos]

If its a lady doing the job, just roll up the sleeves, and pretend to scratch your arm while flexing it. She will be sooo wet and you get your job. Could try the same thing if its a guy.
No homo

[240 is Back]

"I'm not here for this job.  I'm dangerously overqualified and only showed up today because I made a promise to my chick, and I always keep my word.  Why don't we spend the next 15 minutes talking about sports, chicks, and politics, and we'll know pretty quickly if this is the kinda place I'd like to work."

[Sam]

I always find a rotating bowtie makes you stand out from the crowd... something similar to this fella..

[Wolfox]

I may be a social retard but I'll probably be the best dressed and most fit guy there.   I take pride in that.

[pedro01]

As someone who has been on the other side of the table, the best piece of advice I can give you is to not forget how much power you have in the situation. Go in thinking you're the solution to their problem. People tend to forget that interviewers need to find someone and that they'll be noticing the person who stands out as the one who recognises their problem. Especially after speaking with several people - all of whom have similar backgrounds and experience. Be the different one (in a good way) that they'll remember.

You have a lot of opportunity to make an impression. Good luck.

FFS - it's a low paying security job - "solution to their problem"  

[pedro01]

I may be a social retard but I'll probably be the best dressed and most fit guy there.   I take pride in that.

Based on the job you are going for - just try not to dribble too much and you should get the job.

[Raymondo]

once i got on the "inside" and realized how hilariously disorganized and haphazard interviews are... it really took a lot of the mystique away.

hard to be as nervous when you've seen the guy "from the other side" dropping such gems as:

"oh shit i'm on a phone screen in 15 minutes?  what the hell am i gonna talk about?"

"yeah so i kind of missed the last 30 minutes of whatever that guy said"

"all i wrote down in my notes was 'I WANT TO PUNCH THIS CANDIDATE IN THE FACE'"

"i just ask them to explain concepts to me as if i'm evaluating them, so it's not obvious i have no idea what they're talking about"

^ all more or less legit quotes

x2

[Viking11]

Recession proof job. I started doing it when the economy faltered. Along with my PT and tutoring for nice extra money. Grossing 3 k a month for 44 hours total a week. Not too horrible.  Just be calm, focused and in control. Think Jack Bauer in a calm moment and you will do great. Good luck.

[Tapeworm]

No one wants some pussy providing their security.  Walk tall, straight up to the guy, look him in the eye, and hit him as hard as you can.

[Man of Steel]

once i got on the "inside" and realized how hilariously disorganized and haphazard interviews are... it really took a lot of the mystique away.

hard to be as nervous when you've seen the guy "from the other side" dropping such gems as:

"oh shit i'm on a phone screen in 15 minutes?  what the hell am i gonna talk about?"

"yeah so i kind of missed the last 30 minutes of whatever that guy said"

"all i wrote down in my notes was 'I WANT TO PUNCH THIS CANDIDATE IN THE FACE'"

"i just ask them to explain concepts to me as if i'm evaluating them, so it's not obvious i have no idea what they're talking about"

^ all more or less legit quotes

LOL, exactly!!!  Most people doing the interviewing have no desire to be there, have squeezed it into their schedule, are not really paying attention, are not always the most knowledgable, etc.....

Also remember that a job description is also a wishlist of what an employer would want in a candidate....most candidates have only 75% of the traits the employer is after....the missing piece is developed OTJ. 

Be confident, be polite, be respectful, be funny (but not too funny), always let them know you're a definite team player (who loves working with people...blah, blah, blah) but also someone that can lead and work independently.   Dress like a professional even if the job is collecting trash.

[the trainer]

for a low paying security position.   But oh well I need a job. My money has almost run out.

I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and this is my first interview.

Real nervous about this since I'm not the most social person. I probably wont sleep tonight.

roll up your sleeves to show off your biceps

stuff your pants to make it look like you have a big cock

play footsie with the person interviewing you while looking him dead in the eye.

[HockeyFightFan]

for a low paying security position.   But oh well I need a job. My money has almost run out.

I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and this is my first interview.

Real nervous about this since I'm not the most social person. I probably wont sleep tonight.

Isn't this the kind of shit Facebook is for?

Fuck off, no one likes you, your family thinks youre a kunt, and we all hope you end up homeless.

Dickdrainer.

[Cleanest Natural]

for a low paying security position.   But oh well I need a job. My money has almost run out.

I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and this is my first interview.

Real nervous about this since I'm not the most social person. I probably wont sleep tonight.

Good luck. This is why I do not get upset at your jabs. I know how depressed and miserable you are and wish you to get back on your feet.

[Thick Nick]

for a low paying security position.   But oh well I need a job. My money has almost run out.

I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and this is my first interview.

Real nervous about this since I'm not the most social person. I probably wont sleep tonight.

Make sure to ask Tbomz for advice. Googling him has done wonders for his career possibilities.

[benchmstr]

I sat in on a review board the other day..we interviewed over 50 candidates..

Before the interviews we were told all of this shit was just a formality and gave of the list of who we were suppose to vote for..

I get screwed into being on these review boards all the time and they are all like this..I usually just doodle all over my cup and ask some bullshit scenario question just so they think I've paid some attention

Bench

[The Revelation]

Isn't this the kind of shit Facebook is for?

Fuck off, no one likes you, your family thinks youre a kunt, and we all hope you end up homeless.

Dickdrainer.

holy shit hahahaha awesome

[CalvinH]

for a low paying security position.   But oh well I need a job. My money has almost run out.

I've been applying for jobs for about two weeks now and this is my first interview.

Real nervous about this since I'm not the most social person. I probably wont sleep tonight.

Tell them you're soon to be a mod at GB.