Roller skates, Venom Vince, ROLLER SKATES...that's the ticket!
WAIT: since you 'competed' in a bodybuilding show once, then I suppose you'll need at least ONE MMA match to establish your 'street cred'...hey, look, I know you have an IMPRESSIVE RESUME of past experience in the world of kicking ass (as you constantly blather on about), so you'll have no problem finding an opponent...maybe right here on Getbig!
Oh please God let him get in the ring with someone from Getbig. You never know, he might get hit with one of those super-lucky death punches in the sternum and finally end this horrible, horrible experience otherwise known as The Vince Effect.
That is all.