Am I selfish

[JCL]

So I just had a newborn (our first) and i work and run my own business from 10-9pm everyday!

I stopped training and eating good for the past few months due to work and other reasons, now I'm finding some motivation to get back at it.  Last night i got home at 930pm and had a blow up fight about me going to the gym, and i should be there for my 4 week old son.  Hes feeding and sleeping, i just wanted to slip out and get a workout in and try to undue some stress.

Your thoughts?

[SF1900]

[NelsonMuntz]

Maybe sneak out before everyone is awake in the morning, I dunno, some kind of compromise with your other half.

Since you work at home from 10pm-9pm, maybe just go out for an hour on "work related errands" during the day and get it done then.

That is all I can think of.

[JCL]

Lol exactly

[Princess L]

Not at all.  She should do the same - ie: de-stress activity.

[Fallsview]

There is a balance but you will never have the same body again. Welcome to being an adult. I remember a certain Mod on here praising Groink for moving across the nation to be closer to his daughter. I was the only one to call him out on this. Any man that continues to take boat loads of steroids and worry about his body the way Groink did never grew up and had no business being a dad.
Its no longer about you...its about your child.





STAY POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dave D]

Maybe sneak out before everyone is awake in the morning, I dunno, some kind of compromise with your other half.

Since you work at home from 10pm-9pm, maybe just go out for an hour on "work related errands" during the day and get it done then.

That is all I can think of.

Legit advice

Sucky situation because your wife doesn't understand.

[local hero]

Sounds like you need to get up sharp and train in the morning...

[JCL]

Maybe sneak out before everyone is awake in the morning, I dunno, some kind of compromise with your other half.

Since you work at home from 10pm-9pm, maybe just go out for an hour on "work related errands" during the day and get it done then.

That is all I can think of.

Good advice, I hate morning workouts and i hate the mornings, i shall give it a shot and try to switch my routine up. I prefer late night workouts. But doing so is causing a lot of tension between us. Its not that i dont want to see her at night or the baby but the gym is somewhere i just escape on my own with my thoughts and I enjoy it. 

[JCL]

There is a balance but you will never have the same body again. Welcome to being an adult. I remember a certain Mod on here praising Groink for moving across the nation to be closer to his daughter. I was the only one to call him out on this. Any man that continues to take boat loads of steroids and worry about his body the way Groink did never grew up and had no business being a dad.
Its no longer about you...its about your child.





STAY POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is true and I agree.  But one my main reasons why i want to get backinto the gym is for my son, so i can be fit and healthy for him growing up.  I plan on training him to become a hockey player like myself so i dont want to be a fat old bastard that cant skate around with my son.

[JCL]

Legit advice

Sucky situation because your wife doesn't understand.

No she doesnt understand, and a lot of people dont. 

The gym for me like im sure a lot of you is a place of sanctuary.  I feel better about myself, I relief stress, I can get away, I can refocus. etc etc etc

She doesnt get it. Especially right now with me not trianing in months, and my business not doing the greatest i need a recharge and like always throughout the years, getting back into the gym and on a regimen has allowed me to refocus and find some internal motivation and vision.

Instead, I get home and it turns into a blow up, and i lose my temper and i look like the bad guy.

I hate fighting, and negative shit, but i also hate being told what to do and not living my life. Welcome to marriage i suppose.

[JCL]

Sounds like you need to get up sharp and train in the morning...

Its looking like the best option currently. 

oh I forgot to mention i play hockey twice a week in the evenings, so this is her angle. I play hockey I dont need to go to the gym as well.

You cant win!

[Coach is Back!]

So I just had a newborn (our first) and i work and run my own business from 10-9pm everyday!

I stopped training and eating good for the past few months due to work and other reasons, now I'm finding some motivation to get back at it.  Last night i got home at 930pm and had a blow up fight about me going to the gym, and i should be there for my 4 week old son.  Hes feeding and sleeping, i just wanted to slip out and get a workout in and try to undue some stress.

Your thoughts?

I'm sure she feels the need to get out once in a while as well. You're at work for 11hrs a day and she's taking care of the baby probably for longer. You guys need to somehow create a schedule that works for both you. Maybe she can get out for awhile before or after you go to work? There is also going to be a time where you two will also need a night out away from everything. What about a family member coming in and watching the kid for a few hours a week...like a grandparent?

[JCL]

I'm sure she feels the need to get out once in a while as well. You're at work for 11hrs a day and she's taking care of the baby probably for longer. You guys need to somehow create a schedule that works for both you. Maybe she can get out for awhile before or after you go to work? There is also going to be a time where you two will also need a night out away from everything. What about a family member coming in and watching the kid for a few hours a week...like a grandparent?

Shes nursing and its our first child so its all fresh.  Im sure after 6 months or so well start doing that.

She gets out everyday, shes out with her sister almost everyday with the baby.

She does more then me.

[NelsonMuntz]

I'm sure she feels the need to get out once in a while as well. You're at work for 11hrs a day and she's taking care of the baby probably for longer. You guys need to somehow create a schedule that works for both you. Maybe she can get out for awhile before or after you go to work? There is also going to be a time where you two will also need a night out away from everything. What about a family member coming in and watching the kid for a few hours a week...like a grandparent?

Correct me if I am wrong, but you used to train at Bill Pearl's back in the day and he was infamous for his very early workouts which started because of his own obligations with family and business right?

[DroppingPlates]

I guess she prefers your dad bod..

[JCL]

I guess she prefers your dad bod..

Haha, funny thing is, she says she prefers me "bigger like this".  I feel fat and out of shape.

[NelsonMuntz]

another option is if you have a house and can afford it, build a home gym, like get one of those free form cable setups(with the dual stacks plus a set of power block type dumbells  and an adjustable bench and you can train most days at home.

[JCL]

another option is if you have a house and can afford it, build a home gym, like get one of those free form cable setups(with the dual stacks plus a set of power block type dumbells  and an adjustable bench and you can train most days at home.

Good option, but i prefer to workout at a gym. I cant get into home workouts

[DroppingPlates]

Haha, funny thing is, she says she prefers me "bigger like this".  I feel fat and out of shape.

Listen, you provide an income by making long working days. It should be fair when she allows you to train at least 3 times per week. Why not encourage her to workout on 3 different days? This allows both of you to take some stress off which is better for both of you and your relationship.

[wes]

Training should come before everything.

NO LIMITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111

[Explorerspl]

So I just had a newborn (our first) and i work and run my own business from 10-9pm everyday!

I stopped training and eating good for the past few months due to work and other reasons, now I'm finding some motivation to get back at it.  Last night i got home at 930pm and had a blow up fight about me going to the gym, and i should be there for my 4 week old son.  Hes feeding and sleeping, i just wanted to slip out and get a workout in and try to undue some stress.

Your thoughts?

Being a stay at home mom she signed up to be there at all times for your son. For people saying she needs to get out and do this and that, she should of thought of that before taking on the responsibility of a child when her husband works as much as he does and she doesn't work at all.

 You going to the gym isn't the same as not being there for your family.

As you said she's out with her sister having a blast while you work 11 hour days. She is being very selfish in this situation and not showing the qualities of a good life partner.

[JCL]

Being a stay at home mom she signed up to be there at all times for your son. For people saying she needs to get out and do this and that, she should of thought of that before taking on the responsibility of a child when her husband works as much as he does and she doesn't work at all.

 You going to the gym isn't the same as not being there for your family.

As you said she's out with her sister having a blast while you work 11 hour days. She is being very selfish in this situation and not showing the qualities of a good life partner.

She runs her own business as well, but right now is taking leave to take care of our son. So she provides as well.

She just feels we arent spending time together and i should put the gym thing on the back burner.

Ill figure it out. Im going to give the morning thing a try.

[wes]

Train at 5 AM and your problem is solved............or any other time that she can`t bitch about.

[DroppingPlates]

Training should come before everything.

NO LIMITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111

Antoine Vaillant used to say that the pump is the cure for everything. He might have a good point..