Author Topic: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.  (Read 29107 times)

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #225 on: January 15, 2023, 12:13:08 AM »
She looks like she has a touch of the "tism."

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #226 on: January 15, 2023, 12:28:35 AM »
She looks like she has a touch of the "tism."

I did think that myself from certain angles, but some say these 'tism' characters are hyper-sexual. Like turbo-charged, insatiable maniacs in the sack. Hotter than Dutch love, no?

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #227 on: January 15, 2023, 12:29:55 AM »
I did think that myself from certain angles, but some say these 'tism' characters are hyper-sexual. Like turbo-charged, insatiable maniacs in the sack. Hotter than Dutch love, no?
Just make sure she doesn't bite your pecker off.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #228 on: January 15, 2023, 12:30:24 AM »
Just make sure she doesn't bite your pecker off.

bro...

Humble Narcissist

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Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #230 on: January 19, 2023, 07:10:03 AM »
I love it when fat people get caught out trying to cross a busy road and they're forced to break into an undignified sprint/waddle. Always makes me smile. It's even funnier when they don't attempt to speed up and they get honked at. Move out the way, fucking fat idiot. LOL.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #231 on: January 19, 2023, 07:56:16 AM »
My future in-laws brought us a 'gift' of three dead pigeons yesterday, obviously hoping that I'd immediately abandon my deeply held convictions under the weight of social conformity. Silly old fools!

Instead, I traumatized their daughter by demonstrating how one field strips (i.e. de-breasts) a pigeon with one's bare hands before making her follow suit. Despite being horrified, she actually performed very well and I rewarded her with a Michelin-worthy dish of pan-fried pigeon breast served with a blackcurrant sauce, and garlic and rosemary roasted potatoes. I had a G&T and some of the potatoes, and the cats got the rest of the birds.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #232 on: January 19, 2023, 04:16:56 PM »
Man, insomnia is hitting me hard today. I ran for an hour earlier today and did a big back and arms workout in the evening.Took an Ambien an hour ago, too. Still feel alert and full of energy. Really sucks.

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #233 on: January 20, 2023, 01:34:06 AM »
Man, insomnia is hitting me hard today. I ran for an hour earlier today and did a big back and arms workout in the evening.Took an Ambien an hour ago, too. Still feel alert and full of energy. Really sucks.
Just sleep when you're tired.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #234 on: January 20, 2023, 03:11:50 AM »
Just sleep when you're tired.

I can sometimes do that on weekends and just end up napping through the afternoon, but it fucks up my sleep pattern for days and productivity takes a nosedive, too.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #235 on: January 22, 2023, 12:05:12 AM »
God, sitting through that new movie Babylon last night was a real endurance test. It's actually pissed me off with how long it is. I'm no movie buff and can't be assed trying to construct a thoughtful critique, but it takes a special kind of retard to ruin a movie featuring Margot Robbie and Brad Pitt.

It's over three bloody hours long! The director clearly thought he was crafting some sort of profound depiction of 1920s Hollywood, but ended up delivering a rather empty and self-indulgent bore. It's chaotic and amusing for the first 90 minutes or so, which is how long it should have been, then it just gets painful.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #236 on: January 25, 2023, 07:50:02 AM »
Started writing a Best Man speech for the second time in my life now. I fucking hate these things. It turned out perfect last time but I feel as though I've lost my nerve with public speaking these past few years. It never used to bother me but now I find myself feeling apprehensive more often.

Primemuscle

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #237 on: January 25, 2023, 03:42:57 PM »
Amazing. Thanks, Prime. That's so weird: when I woke up this morning I was really hoping a pensioner would link me something gay.

Sorry for the late response, Spunky. Your prophetic wish was my command. Just wanted to say, you are welcome, it was my pleasure. Have you given it a try? You should.  ;D

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #238 on: January 27, 2023, 01:42:21 AM »
Sorry for the late response, Spunky. Your prophetic wish was my command. Just wanted to say, you are welcome, it was my pleasure. Have you given it a try? You should.  ;D


Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #239 on: January 27, 2023, 01:45:47 AM »
Started writing a Best Man speech for the second time in my life now. I fucking hate these things. It turned out perfect last time but I feel as though I've lost my nerve with public speaking these past few years. It never used to bother me but now I find myself feeling apprehensive more often.
I refuse to go to weddings anymore. The worst are a person's 2nd, 3rd, or 4th marriage. What are we supposed to be celebrating, the fact that they found someone else to spread their legs?

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #240 on: January 27, 2023, 02:11:29 AM »
I refuse to go to weddings anymore. The worst are a person's 2nd, 3rd, or 4th marriage. What are we supposed to be celebrating, the fact that they found someone else to spread their legs?

I know, I also hate them. It's something I've said I'll be willing to subject myself to once simply because it's of great significance to the person I'm with, but I despise being the center of attention, I despise being photographed, and I especially despise the thought of feeding a bunch of fat, freeloading cunts.

This one is particularly bad as I think my best friend's fianc is a twat who will eventually ruin his life. I wish the speech could just be a ten-minute, profanity-laden polemic against her.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #241 on: January 28, 2023, 11:38:21 AM »
While waiting for sleep to take me the other night, I was thinking about one of my old dogs and how she used to attack bees in the garden. She'd never been stung, but she would dart her face in and out of the bee's range like a fencer slapping it down to the ground quickly with her paw and trying to kill it without touching its stinger (but she didn't do this with flies). Ive seen other dogs display this type of behavior with snakes, too. This is knowledge. At least, I think I can say this is knowledge albeit an 'instinctual' one but that word doesn't explain much and it seems to be more than just, say, a physiological reaction to a scent. It strikes me as something distinct from what we get as a result of selective breeding, e.g. aggressive behavior, and it seems insufficient to label it as simply a reflex action.

My dog obviously didn't come to know that the bee can sting her through reason or through studying papers on them, but she had a well-founded fear that must have been attained, as far as I can tell, through some sort of genetic inheritance. That is to say, specific, hard-learned facts about the environment her ancestors lived in have been recorded and passed down to her in cells.

If this is a fact of other species then I see no reason why it might not apply to us, too. I wonder if specific experiences of parents can be 'recorded' and passed down to their children, and might that account for why people have seemingly irrational phobias? For instance, if a woman had terrible experiences in water from almost drowning, could her child be born with an inherent fear of water? Or clowns perhaps some nutcase dressed up as a clown and gave her the ol' heave-ho. Is it possible that the child she bears also fears the sight of clowns?

I suppose it would be a lot easier to prevent these issues developing through early positive exposure and our ability to reason (or to preserve them if they're well founded), but it's interesting to me. I should ask a geneticist or biologist, I guess, as Im probably sounding like an idiot.

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #242 on: January 29, 2023, 01:44:02 AM »
While waiting for sleep to take me the other night, I was thinking about one of my old dogs and how she used to attack bees in the garden. She'd never been stung, but she would dart her face in and out of the bee's range like a fencer slapping it down to the ground quickly with her paw and trying to kill it without touching its stinger (but she didn't do this with flies). Ive seen other dogs display this type of behavior with snakes, too. This is knowledge. At least, I think I can say this is knowledge albeit an 'instinctual' one but that word doesn't explain much and it seems to be more than just, say,  a physiological reaction to a scent. It strikes me as something distinct from what we get as a result of selective breeding, e.g. aggressive behavior, and it seems insufficient to label it as simply a reflex action.

My dog obviously didn't come to know that the bee can sting her through reason or through studying papers on them, but she had a well-founded fear that must have been attained, as far as I can tell, through some sort of genetic inheritance. That is to say, specific, hard-learned facts about the environment her ancestors lived in have been recorded and passed down to her in cells.

If this is a fact of other species then I see no reason why it might not apply to us, too. I wonder if specific experiences of parents can be 'recorded' and passed down to their children, and might that account for why people have seemingly irrational phobias? For instance, if a woman had terrible experiences in water from almost drowning, could her child be born with an inherent fear of water? Or clowns perhaps some nutcase dressed up as a clown and gave her the ol' heave-ho. Is it possible that the child she bears also fears the sight of clowns?

I suppose it would be a lot easier to prevent these issues developing through early positive exposure and our ability to reason (or to preserve them if they're well founded), but it's interesting to me. I should ask a geneticist or biologist, I guess, as Im probably sounding like an idiot.
Have you tried ASMR, hypnosis, or hemi sync? These can really put you to sleep fast.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #243 on: January 29, 2023, 02:31:49 PM »
Have you tried ASMR, hypnosis, or hemi sync? These can really put you to sleep fast.

Yeah, I use white noise every night. If there's any break in the sound then I tend to wake up. I've used hypnosis tracks for visualization to great effect when competing in sports, but I'm not sure it would help for a long-term issue like sleep unless it's to address some underlying cause that I can identify. Never heard of hemi sync; will need to have a read up on it.

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #244 on: January 30, 2023, 12:23:17 AM »
Yeah, I use white noise every night. If there's any break in the sound then I tend to wake up. I've used hypnosis tracks for visualization to great effect when competing in sports, but I'm not sure it would help for a long-term issue like sleep unless it's to address some underlying cause that I can identify. Never heard of hemi sync; will need to have a read up on it.
You need to wear headphones for hemi sync. Different tones coming in each ear.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #245 on: February 03, 2023, 03:46:08 PM »
Reflections of a recreant pervert: a hermeneutical approach to understanding why I shat myself.

After going against my intuitions and the advice of others, I decided to watch the movie Hereditary recently and see what all the fuss was about. Thankfully, I have emerged almost unscathed from the experience; however, it did leave my girlfriend flinching like a battered wife and suffering from minor PTSD for approximately 24 hrs. I, too, am forced to admit that after the film ended, I also found myself bracing in anticipation of encountering some demented bitch with a stupid face hanging from the ceiling or lurking behind the door of each room I entered.

I was amused by my reaction because I don't believe in the supernatural, and at the risk of sounding macho, I could be on fire and not show much panic, and I've never felt like I've been in a situation that I couldn't fight my way out of. Why, then, was I disturbed by the thought of some little retard bombing it down my corridor at me, when in reality I'd have just one-timed them in the face and sent them back to hell?

After thinking about it, I suspect that it was just the thought of doubting my own mind and being unsure of my cognitive faculties. On a deeper level, we know that we cannot trust our senses, but in the every-day context where we expect our eyes and ears to consistently relay an accurate depiction of the immediate world around us, the thought of suddenly losing control over that and being faced with strange apparitions inspires fear.

Some scenes were also quite memorable for the way in which they created tension through displaying unnatural emotions on the characters' faces for example, inappropriate smiles and expressions suddenly changing. I suppose that lingered in the back of my mind afterwards as it reminded me of what I saw when I smoked really strong weed as a young teenager once and brutally hallucinated.

Even after unpacking it all and ultimately enjoying the movie, I think I'm done with horror films for the next little while. Ive started watching The Sopranos for the first time and will binge on that for the next week, as it's really good.

IroNat

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #246 on: February 03, 2023, 05:47:41 PM »
First time I've read this thread.

It's brilliant.

Primemuscle

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #247 on: February 03, 2023, 06:18:48 PM »
First time I've read this thread.

It's brilliant.

Where have you been? Have you been hiding under a rock?

AbrahamG

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #248 on: February 03, 2023, 06:35:17 PM »
Reflections of a recreant pervert: a hermeneutical approach to understanding why I shat myself.

After going against my intuitions and the advice of others, I decided to watch the movie Hereditary recently and see what all the fuss was about. Thankfully, I have emerged almost unscathed from the experience; however, it did leave my girlfriend flinching like a battered wife and suffering from minor PTSD for approximately 24 hrs. I, too, am forced to admit that after the film ended, I also found myself bracing in anticipation of encountering some demented bitch with a stupid face hanging from the ceiling or lurking behind the door of each room I entered.

I was amused by my reaction because I don't believe in the supernatural, and at the risk of sounding macho, I could be on fire and not show much panic, and I've never felt like I've been in a situation that I couldn't fight my way out of. Why, then, was I disturbed by the thought of some little retard bombing it down my corridor at me, when in reality I'd have just one-timed them in the face and sent them back to hell?

After thinking about it, I suspect that it was just the thought of doubting my own mind and being unsure of my cognitive faculties. On a deeper level, we know that we cannot trust our senses, but in the every-day context where we expect our eyes and ears to consistently relay an accurate depiction of the immediate world around us, the thought of suddenly losing control over that and being faced with strange apparitions inspires fear.

Some scenes were also quite memorable for the way in which they created tension through displaying unnatural emotions on the characters' faces for example, inappropriate smiles and expressions suddenly changing. I suppose that lingered in the back of my mind afterwards as it reminded me of what I saw when I smoked really strong weed as a young teenager once and brutally hallucinated.

Even after unpacking it all and ultimately enjoying the movie, I think I'm done with horror films for the next little while. Ive started watching The Sopranos for the first time and will binge on that for the next week, as it's really good.

Sopranos is quite good.  When finished, give Boardwalk Empire a look.  Very good too. 

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #249 on: February 04, 2023, 01:37:44 AM »
First time I've read this thread.

It's brilliant.
It is oddly entertaining.