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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: bigmikecox on August 28, 2012, 12:44:38 PM
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Back when Myspace FIRST came out, way back in 2005 or so, i went on searching for some fatties. Well, i emailed a few and got a few responses. And like a cheetah hunting its prey i zeroed in. I think her name was Michelle.
We talked for a few days and eventually decided to hook up. She did "warm" me that she was "plus" sized. Well, she sent me a pic of her face and it was cute, and didnt look too big. So we meet on at a hotel where she is playing pool with her friends. I walk in and see her.....WHOA!!! She was big. Probably around 5'4 and close to, id say 300lbs. Now, normally I can handle a big girl with boobs, but she had SMALL boobs and was all belly.
We go back to the room and there was no talking at all. Just an understanding that I wanted to hit and be gone. So, she gives me some oral and im ready to hit. One issue. Her belly was too big to mount missionalry. I tried my best so we had to do it from behind.
And like most men, once i was done I said "what the hell did i just do". You cant tell she wanted to cuddle and kiss but i was not having it! The horny was gone and load dropped and i was thinking clear again. She asked if i wanted to hang out but i said i had to get going b/c the weather was bad and i had a long drive home.
SCORE!!!!
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MAGICAL POST
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this thread should be retitled scraping the bottom of the barrel with mike cox
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Back when Myspace FIRST came out, way back in 2005 or so, i went on searching for some fatties. Well, i emailed a few and got a few responses. And like a cheetah hunting its prey i zeroed in. I think her name was Michelle.
We talked for a few days and eventually decided to hook up. She did "warm" me that she was "plus" sized. Well, she sent me a pic of her face and it was cute, and didnt look too big. So we meet on at a hotel where she is playing pool with her friends. I walk in and see her.....WHOA!!! She was big. Probably around 5'4 and close to, id say 300lbs. Now, normally I can handle a big girl with boobs, but she had SMALL boobs and was all belly.
We go back to the room and there was no talking at all. Just an understanding that I wanted to hit and be gone. So, she gives me some oral and im ready to hit. One issue. Her belly was too big to mount missionalry. I tried my best so we had to do it from behind.
And like most men, once i was done I said "what the hell did i just do". You cant tell she wanted to cuddle and kiss but i was not having it! The horny was gone and load dropped and i was thinking clear again. She asked if i wanted to hang out but i said i had to get going b/c the weather was bad and i had a long drive home.
SCORE!!!!
hahahaha i bet she consoled herself with a whole cake.... or ten !
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So, she gives me some oral and im ready to hit. One issue. Her belly was too big to mount missionalry.
Sounds to me like you just ain't got the length, brotha. That's where this comes into play... Tape that belly fat back.
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Sounds to me like you just ain't got the length, brotha. That's where this comes into play... Tape that belly fat back.
Im no Lex Steele, but im average. But bro, it wasnt happening missionary! Im the missionary king and i was getting frustrated
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You claim to be a blackman so I'm confused as to why you find your behavior so unusual and/or appalling. Seems like another day in the life of the average homeboy.
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Back when Myspace FIRST came out, way back in 2005 or so, i went on searching for some fatties. Well, i emailed a few and got a few responses. And like a cheetah hunting its prey i zeroed in. I think her name was Michelle.
We talked for a few days and eventually decided to hook up. She did "warm" me that she was "plus" sized. Well, she sent me a pic of her face and it was cute, and didnt look too big. So we meet on at a hotel where she is playing pool with her friends. I walk in and see her.....WHOA!!! She was big. Probably around 5'4 and close to, id say 300lbs. Now, normally I can handle a big girl with boobs, but she had SMALL boobs and was all belly.
We go back to the room and there was no talking at all. Just an understanding that I wanted to hit and be gone. So, she gives me some oral and im ready to hit. One issue. Her belly was too big to mount missionalry. I tried my best so we had to do it from behind.
And like most men, once i was done I said "what the hell did i just do". You cant tell she wanted to cuddle and kiss but i was not having it! The horny was gone and load dropped and i was thinking clear again. She asked if i wanted to hang out but i said i had to get going b/c the weather was bad and i had a long drive home.
SCORE!!!!
This is oldschool getbig!!!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! ;D
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". . . Now, normally I can handle a big girl with boobs, but she had SMALL boobs and was all belly."
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You claim to be a blackman so I'm confused as to why you find your behavior so unusual and/or appalling. Seems like another day in the life of the average homeboy.
Im a muscular homeboy! Not a skinny ass, uneducated thug. I been to college
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Im a muscular homeboy! Not a skinny ass, uneducated thug. I been to college
Amazing that some people apparently equate going to OSU with going to college. Buckeyes have come a long way.
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Amazing that some people apparently equate going to OSU with going to college. Buckeyes have come a long way.
I went to Toledo, but I bleed scarlett and gray
F-MICHIGAN
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Had a buddy every time a hot chic walked by he'd go " imagine that with 60lbs on it" we'd all laugh and go ugh man you screwed that up for us and laugh and laugh. So I asked Him seriously one time why he liked them so big? He said sincerely "I feel like I'm concuring something" we laughed even harder,good times... ;D
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haha great thread
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More stories tomorrow
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how bad did the funk off smelly ass from sitting on her fat ass all day smell like mike ?
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one time at the university gym, these two monstrous cows waddle past me as im using the weighted ab machine (oh brother). i remember wondering who they could be -- definitely didn't look like students, as honestly there weren't too many obese people at my school and they appeared quite old besides. anyway i get up and am about to leave, when i hear one of them calling out to me. i turn around to see this belligerent mulatto heifer walk up with her meek friend. these girls were probably 250+, no joke, some of the fattest i've ever seen. she says, "my friend and i were watching you from over there on the machines, you made me lose count. how long did it take to get those guns?" i laugh it off and tell her i've been working out a few years (to get these monstrous 16.5 inch cannons lolol) and then turn to make my exit. somewhat annoyed, she yells "you've got a great ass!"
never saw the two cocktrolls again in my life.
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somewhat annoyed, she yells "you've got a great ass!"
lol
so what would you have done in that situation if she would have grabbed your ass?
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She still waiting for your call to meet up with your parents.... :D
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lol
so what would you have done in that situation if she would have ate your ass?
Fixed, for what she was thinking...
Ah, the pillow softness of BIG women...
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Back when Myspace FIRST came out, way back in 2005 or so, i went on searching for some fatties. Well, i emailed a few and got a few responses. And like a cheetah hunting its prey i zeroed in. I think her name was Michelle.
We talked for a few days and eventually decided to hook up. She did "warm" me that she was "plus" sized. Well, she sent me a pic of her face and it was cute, and didnt look too big. So we meet on at a hotel where she is playing pool with her friends. I walk in and see her.....WHOA!!! She was big. Probably around 5'4 and close to, id say 300lbs. Now, normally I can handle a big girl with boobs, but she had SMALL boobs and was all belly.
We go back to the room and there was no talking at all. Just an understanding that I wanted to hit and be gone. So, she gives me some oral and im ready to hit. One issue. Her belly was too big to mount missionalry. I tried my best so we had to do it from behind.
And like most men, once i was done I said "what the hell did i just do". You cant tell she wanted to cuddle and kiss but i was not having it! The horny was gone and load dropped and i was thinking clear again. She asked if i wanted to hang out but i said i had to get going b/c the weather was bad and i had a long drive home.
SCORE!!!!
Great story! Cheetahs are always so fast, and know how to finish. But they always have buyer's remorse. Little known fact. Makes them the worst credit risk in the jungle.
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lol
so what would you have done in that situation if she would have grabbed your ass?
no idea :-\
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No bueno. :-X :-X :-X
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My heaviest was like 190, never going that high ever again, 165 is my new limit.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=l-wiWfEjWWM#t=147s (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=l-wiWfEjWWM#t=147s)
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Back when Myspace FIRST came out, way back in 2005 or so, i went on searching for some fatties. Well, i emailed a few and got a few responses. And like a cheetah hunting its prey i zeroed in. I think her name was Michelle.
We talked for a few days and eventually decided to hook up. She did "warm" me that she was "plus" sized. Well, she sent me a pic of her face and it was cute, and didnt look too big. So we meet on at a hotel where she is playing pool with her friends. I walk in and see her.....WHOA!!! She was big. Probably around 5'4 and close to, id say 300lbs. Now, normally I can handle a big girl with boobs, but she had SMALL boobs and was all belly.
We go back to the room and there was no talking at all. Just an understanding that I wanted to hit and be gone. So, she gives me some oral and im ready to hit. One issue. Her belly was too big to mount missionalry. I tried my best so we had to do it from behind.
And like most men, once i was done I said "what the hell did i just do". You cant tell she wanted to cuddle and kiss but i was not having it! The horny was gone and load dropped and i was thinking clear again. She asked if i wanted to hang out but i said i had to get going b/c the weather was bad and i had a long drive home.
SCORE!!!!
Your crazy story is making my penis soft.
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Big chicks with no tits is where I'd draw the line. It's just total slop. If you're gonna go big, they have to have a huge rack or forget it. It can really damage your unconscious spank bank.
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Ok...met another chick off Myspace. I could tell from the conversation that she was looking for something more than some BBC. Ok, I can play that game. We talk for a few days and finally decide to meet. So, she gets to my place and she is pretty thick. A little taller than me at around 5'8, pushing 250 or so. BIG boobs and ass! So we go to eat at a chinese joint and im laying on the BMC charm. And at dinner she comes right out with the "im looking for a good guy". Well, "I AM a good guy. Did i tell you how pretty you are?" Next we go to the beach and sit on some swing that i thought was going to break. She does the holding hand thing and i kiss her and grab the boob. "Let's go back to my place" I say. "Ok" YEAH BOYEEEEE!!!!
We get back to my place and we are on the couch and she is acting shy. Eventually I get the top off and go for the pants. Now, im not sure how many of you have bagged a fatty, but when the belly is big and pants are tight its hard to get your hand in. But I get my paw in there and start messing with the love button. We move to my romm where im in for a nice surprise. The kitty is GOOD!!! So i ask her to get on top. This is where the problem is. She gets on and has to push off my arms to sit up and ride me! Im rubbing the belly and boobs and SPLASH!!!! My goo goo juice is relaeased and once again the same issue. She lays on me and cuddles and i feel like im being crushed! Im assuming she wants to stay over b/c she starts to fall asleep. "Sweetie, i really want you to stay but i have to get up early and take my mom to the airport" I can tell she isnt happy and even askes me if im sure i want a relationship. "yes, I mean, lets just take it slow"
She gets dressed and kisses me some more and by this point i want her gone. "Let me walk you to your car" Now, she is a big one and my neighbor just happens to be comeing in when im walking her out! DAMN!!! He looks at me, then her and just shakes his head and smiles!!!!
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Dude, please. No more fat chick stories. :-X
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Dude, please. No more fat chick stories. :-X
Sorry bro, i got a few more! One involves tag teaming a chick
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Dude, please. No more fat chick stories. :-X
LOL! you came in here to read it anyways!
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Ok...met another chick off Myspace. I could tell from the conversation that she was looking for something more than some BBC. Ok, I can play that game. We talk for a few days and finally decide to meet. So, she gets to my place and she is pretty thick. A little taller than me at around 5'8, pushing 250 or so. BIG boobs and ass! So we go to eat at a chinese joint and im laying on the BMC charm. And at dinner she comes right out with the "im looking for a good guy". Well, "I AM a good guy. Did i tell you how pretty you are?" Next we go to the beach and sit on some swing that i thought was going to break. She does the holding hand thing and i kiss her and grab the boob. "Let's go back to my place" I say. "Ok" YEAH BOYEEEEE!!!!
We get back to my place and we are on the couch and she is acting shy. Eventually I get the top off and go for the pants. Now, im not sure how many of you have bagged a fatty, but when the belly is big and pants are tight its hard to get your hand in. But I get my paw in there and start messing with the love button. We move to my romm where im in for a nice surprise. The kitty is GOOD!!! So i ask her to get on top. This is where the problem is. She gets on and has to push off my arms to sit up and ride me! Im rubbing the belly and boobs and SPLASH!!!! My goo goo juice is relaeased and once again the same issue. She lays on me and cuddles and i feel like im being crushed! Im assuming she wants to stay over b/c she starts to fall asleep. "Sweetie, i really want you to stay but i have to get up early and take my mom to the airport" I can tell she isnt happy and even askes me if im sure i want a relationship. "yes, I mean, lets just take it slow"
She gets dressed and kisses me some more and by this point i want her gone. "Let me walk you to your car" Now, she is a big one and my neighbor just happens to be comeing in when im walking her out! DAMN!!! He looks at me, then her and just shakes his head and smiles!!!!
This shit is hilarious!!
More? ;D
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BMC good shit,I got a few stories of my own I will try and post later!
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Agreed bro enough is enough...
Keep the tales of Hoggin to yourself. Don't even think about upping pics
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Agreed bro enough is enough...
Keep the tales of Hoggin to yourself. Don't even think about upping pics
Why not, I would have thought you'd like such stuff, a hideously fat bitch is all the pussy that's available to you, Asif...
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1.)Mike, when have you not seen a big woman with a big butt? No body has seen a big woman with a small butt.
2.) you had a scooter moment. A scooter is cool to ride, but not cool to seen riding one.
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Most people that have been posting here for sometime know i was a BIG time partier. Would hit rave's and after hours just about every weekend and take LARGE amounts of G, K and X and nitros. So, me and a few of my boys went to an after hours at some house in Columbus and after talking to a few people i searched the place for the right fatty....and there she was. About 5'4, monster boobs, I mean BIG, nice big belly and plump ass. Face was ok, but that ass...Ooooh that ass!!! So, im rolling and i walk by and start talking shit. Asked "how's your role" and to my delight she said "rolls make me horny" JACKPOT!!! A shit ass grin came over my face and I suggested we go find a room to do some K. We head up stairs and I tell her that my boy wants to come too. The look on her face was PRICELESS!!!!
We get to the room, break out the K and you can feel the tension in the room. Me and my boy just look at each other and smile. After a few bumps I lay back on the couch and start to take my belt off. She says "let me help you. Now, my boy is in the other chair watching. So she is servicinig my member and stops and tells my dude "get naked and bang me" THIS CHICK IS NUTS!!!! He's banging her, im getting head and this is done while stopping for bumps of K.
After about an hour and a half I leave b/c im in the mood for whip its and my boy is STILL going at it. Crazy thing is, this chick was my go to broad when i would be partyiing. She did 3 of my friends. Another night i just got done banging her and we are sittiing next to each other. Im WASTED and seeing visuals and she leans over and says "your frined Ron is cute, would you mind if i did him?" "Sure, but make it quick b/c im almost ready for round 2". After what seemed like FOREVER, im banging on the door. I walk in and Ron is on top of her pounding away. He gets up and leaves and my pants come off. Now get this, she says "go down on me" LMAO!!! Nice try
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Im a muscular homeboy! Not a skinny ass, uneducated thug. I been to college
It shows in your language.
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Agreed bro enough is enough...
Keep the tales of Hoggin to yourself. Don't even think about upping pics
This was before digital cameras but trust me, if I could have, I would have made a website and charged for this shit
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Sorry bro, i got a few more! One involves tag teaming a chick
You've got a few more, huh? So despite how much you tried to deny the truth, you are the typical brotha from the hood. You implied this wasn't something you normally engaged in but apparently you have a trunk load of big girl stories.
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BMC delivering a quality thread. Kudos. It's better than reading about politics or who won the latest pro show.
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1.)Mike, when have you not seen a big woman with a big butt? No body has seen a big woman with a small butt.
2.) you had a scooter moment. A scooter is cool to ride, but not cool to seen riding one.
1.) I have seen big girls with a flat wide ass, not plump.
2.) Had the walk of shame
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Why did i read this thread my dick is dead and i have images of fat hogs in my brain please somebody post pictures of hot girls so i can get back my mojo. :'(
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You've got a few more, huh? So despite how much you tried to deny the truth, you are the typical brotha from the hood. You implied this wasn't something you normally engaged in but apparently you have a trunk load of big girl stories.
LMAO!!!! Anybody that knows me that im far from the hood! From the suburbs maybe? When i was partying and didnt have a g/f at the time, i wanted some ass! Its all good!
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5'8'' and 250 lbs for a girl is monstrous, bigmikesucks, how can you enjoy something like that ? ???
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Most people that have been posting here for sometime know i was a BIG time partier. Would hit rave's and after hours just about every weekend and take LARGE amounts of G, K and X and nitros. So, me and a few of my boys went to an after hours at some house in Columbus and after talking to a few people i searched the place for the right fatty....and there she was. About 5'4, monster boobs, I mean BIG, nice big belly and plump ass. Face was ok, but that ass...Ooooh that ass!!! So, im rolling and i walk by and start talking shit. Asked "how's your role" and to my delight she said "rolls make me horny" JACKPOT!!! A shit ass grin came over my face and I suggested we go find a room to do some K. We head up stairs and I tell her that my boy wants to come too. The look on her face was PRICELESS!!!!
We get to the room, break out the K and you can feel the tension in the room. Me and my boy just look at each other and smile. After a few bumps I lay back on the couch and start to take my belt off. She says "let me help you. Now, my boy is in the other chair watching. So she is servicinig my member and stops and tells my dude "get naked and bang me" THIS CHICK IS NUTS!!!! He's banging her, im getting head and this is done while stopping for bumps of K.
After about an hour and a half I leave b/c im in the mood for whip its and my boy is STILL going at it. Crazy thing is, this chick was my go to broad when i would be partyiing. She did 3 of my friends. Another night i just got done banging her and we are sittiing next to each other. Im WASTED and seeing visuals and she leans over and says "your frined Ron is cute, would you mind if i did him?" "Sure, but make it quick b/c im almost ready for round 2". After what seemed like FOREVER, im banging on the door. I walk in and Ron is on top of her pounding away. He gets up and leaves and my pants come off. Now get this, she says "go down on me" LMAO!!! Nice try
I wonder if I know you... You said you've trained at Power Station in the steel town right?
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5'8'' and 250 lbs for a girl is monstrous, bigmikesucks, how can you enjoy something like that ? ???
V A G I N A
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I wonder if I know you... You said you've trained at Power Station in the steel town right?
No, no. From the 216 and spent a ton of time in Columbus
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Don't care for your choice in ladies, but you tell a good story in a train-wreck kind of way. ;D
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LOL! you came in here to read it anyways!
X2 BMC keep the stories coming!
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Ok...met another chick off Myspace. I could tell from the conversation that she was looking for something more than some BBC. Ok, I can play that game. We talk for a few days and finally decide to meet. So, she gets to my place and she is pretty thick. A little taller than me at around 5'8, pushing 250 or so. BIG boobs and ass! So we go to eat at a chinese joint and im laying on the BMC charm. And at dinner she comes right out with the "im looking for a good guy". Well, "I AM a good guy. Did i tell you how pretty you are?" Next we go to the beach and sit on some swing that i thought was going to break. She does the holding hand thing and i kiss her and grab the boob. "Let's go back to my place" I say. "Ok" YEAH BOYEEEEE!!!!
We get back to my place and we are on the couch and she is acting shy. Eventually I get the top off and go for the pants. Now, im not sure how many of you have bagged a fatty, but when the belly is big and pants are tight its hard to get your hand in. But I get my paw in there and start messing with the love button. We move to my romm where im in for a nice surprise. The kitty is GOOD!!! So i ask her to get on top. This is where the problem is. She gets on and has to push off my arms to sit up and ride me! Im rubbing the belly and boobs and SPLASH!!!! My goo goo juice is relaeased and once again the same issue. She lays on me and cuddles and i feel like im being crushed! Im assuming she wants to stay over b/c she starts to fall asleep. "Sweetie, i really want you to stay but i have to get up early and take my mom to the airport" I can tell she isnt happy and even askes me if im sure i want a relationship. "yes, I mean, lets just take it slow"
She gets dressed and kisses me some more and by this point i want her gone. "Let me walk you to your car" Now, she is a big one and my neighbor just happens to be comeing in when im walking her out! DAMN!!! He looks at me, then her and just shakes his head and smiles!!!!
lmfao...funny shit
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No, no. From the 216 and spent a ton of time in Columbus
Oh, home to the largest population of homosexuals in Ohio, outside of the Oregon District.
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With the build Big Mike has I am surprised that competitor chicks aren't on him 24/7. The dude is built (no homo)
Do you still compete BMC?
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With the build Big Mike has I am surprised that competitor chicks aren't on him 24/7. The dude is built (no homo)
Do you still compete BMC?
He couldn't give a shit less about those girls. Black men fill a very important role in society. They take care of the big/ugly girls. They're kind of like the Algae Eaters in an aquarium.
(No racist)
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He couldn't give a shit less about those girls. Black men fill a very important role in society. They take care of the big/ugly girls. They're kind of like the Algae Eaters in an aquarium.
(No racist)
lol
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Why not, I would have thought you'd like such stuff, a hideously fat bitch is all the pussy that's available to you, Asif...
Hi Hindenburg
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Hi Hindenburg
LOL sorry ray i have to admit, this is a good one ;D
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Oh, home to the largest population of homosexuals in Ohio, outside of the Oregon District.
WRONG! That's Lakewood and that's the 440
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With the build Big Mike has I am surprised that competitor chicks aren't on him 24/7. The dude is built (no homo)
Do you still compete BMC?
Figure girls are a headache! I was with a competitor bber (female) for a few years. Heavy androgen user. Loved it
I did my last show in 2009. Ive been perma-bulking since. Up to 249lbs and will do the over 35 at the Masters Nationals next year
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The team supports Cedric M for better placing and the AC win.
Zero tolerance for fatty fuckers!
The filt shall be cleansed!
PM me for details.
MRT approved
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Figure girls are a headache! I was with a competitor bber (female) for a few years. Heavy androgen user. Loved it
I did my last show in 2009. Ive been perma-bulking since. Up to 249lbs and will do the over 35 at the Masters Nationals next year
Where the hell did your competitor stars go? ???
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He couldn't give a shit less about those girls. Black men fill a very important role in society. They take care of the big/ugly girls. They're kind of like the Algae Eaters in an aquarium.
(No racist)
Sometimes you just dont want to work hard for the ass! I am lazy like that. Dinner, movie, waiting two weeks. Sometimes its just easier to get a sure thing.
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Sometimes you just dont want to work hard for the ass! I am lazy like that. Dinner, movie, waiting two weeks. Sometimes its just easier to get a sure thing.
I'm just trying to be a typical getbigger. Not hatin my brother from another mother.
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I'm just trying to be a typical getbigger. Not hatin my brother from another mother.
Its all gravy baby!!!!
Ok. I had a friend that was into letting guys do his wife. She was thick, not fat, but nice and juicy. So, we were in the 614 partying and when they were around, we knew what time it was. But the time had to be right. So, there are about 5 or 6 of us in a room doing whip its and i notice my dudes wife and another friend are missing. So the husband says "where is Tina and Ron?" Kind of trying to get us interested in looking. So, we all go downstairs and there they are in a chair going at it. Now mind you, we had done a lot of X. I think i had like 4 Blue Dolphins and G. And when you do too many rolls your pecker doesnt work.
So we are all downstairs and they are doing thier thing and her husband says "Go on Mike, get in there" Not beiing one to disappoint someone, I start sampling the sweet nectur of his wife. Gave her some oral, got some oral. Som her husband decides to join in with me and my boy and he has a package like Lex Steele!!!! HOLY INTIMIDATION BAT MAN!!! So we are doing our thing and its time to bone....only, nothing is happening (this is before Viagra was so easliuy availabe) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Totally limp. Me and my boy just sat there dejected while her husband impaled her over and over! :'(
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You've mentioned whip-its in a few posts shortmike, I now understand what's wrong with you... get an MRI, there are some interesting things to be found across the surface of your brain.
It all makes sense now, mate.
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Its all gravy baby!!!!
Ok. I had a friend that was into letting guys do his wife. She was thick, not fat, but nice and juicy. So, we were in the 614 partying and when they were around, we knew what time it was. But the time had to be right. So, there are about 5 or 6 of us in a room doing whip its and i notice my dudes wife and another friend are missing. So the husband says "where is Tina and Ron?" Kind of trying to get us interested in looking. So, we all go downstairs and there they are in a chair going at it. Now mind you, we had done a lot of X. I think i had like 4 Blue Dolphins and G. And when you do too many rolls your pecker doesnt work.
So we are all downstairs and they are doing thier thing and her husband says "Go on Mike, get in there" Not beiing one to disappoint someone, I start sampling the sweet nectur of his wife. Gave her some oral, got some oral. Som her husband decides to join in with me and my boy and he has a package like Lex Steele!!!! HOLY INTIMIDATION BAT MAN!!! So we are doing our thing and its time to bone....only, nothing is happening (this is before Viagra was so easliuy availabe) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Totally limp. Me and my boy just sat there dejected while her husband impaled her over and over! :'(
hahaha!!! I'm kind of freaked out by the fact that I'm enjoying these stories!
You need to turn this shit into a Coffee Table Book! Make a couple hundred thousand.
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I went hogging a few times in my day. One girl was actually pretty cute. Big fat ass huge tits. Only about 30 pounds overweight. She texts me one night at two in the morning Saturday night. She asked me to come find her at the bar she's at and walk her back to my place (5 minutes from the bar). I find her and she's extremely drunk. She tells me I can do whatever I want to her. I get her back to my place and fuck her for awhile. She has a great ass so I put it in her butt. About 2 minutes after I bust a nut in her ass she starts throwing up all over my floor. Fucking disgusting she must of had spaghetti or something because it was all red and nasty looking. My buddies room is across the hall. I wake his ass up and beg him to help me get fatty the fuck out of my room and out the door. As soon as he walks in she lets out this loud wet fart. The look on his face was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. He turned right back around and went back to his room. A cum bubble came out of her butt :-X I frantacially went through her phone and called about 5 of he friends.They came and got her thank god.
Next morning me and my buddy go to breakfast down the road. On the walk back we see the fatty and 2 of her friends walking in the direction of our apartment. Terrible feeling to see that. She had left her panties or some shit in my room. I threw them away the night before. Everything had puke on it. She looked through my shit for what seemed like an eternity. Very awkward.
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I went hogging a few times in my day. One girl was actually pretty cute. Big fat ass huge tits. Only about 30 pounds overweight. She texts me one night at two in the morning Saturday night. She asked me to come find her at the bar she's at and walk her back to my place (5 minutes from the bar). I find her and she's extremely drunk. She tells me I can do whatever I want to her. I get her back to my place and fuck her for awhile. She has a great ass so I put it in her butt. About 2 minutes after I bust a nut in her ass she starts throwing up all over my floor. Fucking disgusting she must of had spaghetti or something because it was all red and nasty looking. My buddies room is across the hall. I wake his ass up and beg him to help me get fatty the fuck out of my room and out the door. As soon as he walks in she lets out this loud wet fart. The look on his face was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. He turned right back around and went back to his room. A cum bubble came out of her butt :-X I frantacially went through her phone and called about 5 of he friends.They came and got her thank god.
Next morning me and my buddy go to breakfast down the road. On the walk back we see the fatty and 2 of her friends walking in the direction of our apartment. Terrible feeling to see that. She had left her panties or some shit in my room. I threw them away the night before. Everything had puke on it. She looked through my shit for what seemed like an eternity. Very awkward.
;D
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You've mentioned whip-its in a few posts shortmike, I now understand what's wrong with you... get an MRI, there are some interesting things to be found across the surface of your brain.
It all makes sense now, mate.
The same guy that let us mess with his wife brought a TANK of nitros once. Had no idea where he got that but we had those BIG ASS balloons and filled them with it! We all went to whip-it world at the same time! Good times
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Lol
Cum fart cocktails
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Met this goth fatty freshman year in college.
Every thursday in Toledo was the "big" night to go out. And being that i went to an all male catholic h.s, I was like a kid in a candy store in college. And back then i was even more careful about bagging an ugly chick. So, I did my usual, downed a 40oz of St. Ides, hit the club and had fun. So, I run into the goth chick with the rest of hre brood and she says she has seen me around my apartment complex. Im getting the vibe she wants to hook up so i get her number and go about my clubbing. I leave at closinig and get home and find myself horny as hell. I call her and she says come on over. Now, up until her i had only banged 3 girls so i was a little quick on the trigger.
I walk in (and its like 3am) and its pitch dark. We go to her room and go RIGHT at it! Clothes come off and i go to give her oral and im confronted by the biggest, darkest bush ive ever seen! EVER!!! So, i figure im already down there so i do my manly duty. I come up and she gives me head like a CHAMP! You could telll she was a veteran of the BJ wars b/c she worked it. I break out the comdom and specifically tell her "its been a while for me, so im going to try to last" NOPE!!!! After about (and this is no lie) 30 pumps, here comes the money shot! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Then the guily. WTF did I do? What if I see this chick again? So, i go back to my place shower and crash.
But my dumbass
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this thread should be retitled scraping the bottom of the barrel with mike cox
;D
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Got another one in a second. The girl was pretty nasty and i almost gagged eating it
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Got another one in a second. The girl was pretty nasty and i almost gagged eating it
Did she wipe from back to front ? :-\
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Did she wipe from back to front ? :-\
LOL I hope not! It was a hairy mess! Like a 70's porn bush! :-X
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LOL I hope not! It was a hairy mess! Like a 70's porn bush! :-X
:-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X
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MOAR STORIES you fuckers!!! lol
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My best friend is "dating" this super trashy stripper and we go over one night about 1am. So, we get there and first thing i notice is her kids are still up (they were toddlers) and the blunts on the table. Mother of the year. So we get there and im thinking we are going to tag team this chick but she has her fat cousin there. Not too cute, but a nice rack. I TOTALLY DIDNT THINK I WAS GOING TO BANG. So, after a blunt and some b.s small talk, my boy and the whore go in the room. Im like..."wait, what about me???" Grrrrrr
So im sitting there with the cousin and she starts rubbinhg my arm and im like, "okie dokie, time to pokie". So, top comes off, hello rack! Play with them for a second, then i start to go down.....unbutton the pants over the big belly.....Now, my first indication that things were not good were cotton panties. Then i saw it. The bush of all bushes. Long and brown! I swear this was the most bush ive ever seen 'til this DAY!!! If you cut it and pasted to my face id look Amish! Now, the tricky part is that once you are down there you cant bolt back up. Soooo, i manned up and did the tongue flick! No getting my face in there, but the chick grabbed the back of my head and was trying to suffocate me!
So after 5 minutes of navigating through the woods, we start boning. NOT INTO THIS AT ALL!!!! But b/c of the blunt, i was lasting. DAMN!!! So, we do the usual, missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl. The SPLASH!!! DONE!!! And as you have read before, when im done, my pervert leaves me and this one, I regretted. She wanted to kiss and do it again but i told her "my boy will be done soon and we have to get going, i have to work in the morning". That bastard didnt come out for another 30 minutes! So we leave and i didnt tell him i boned her. The next week I get a call from my boy saying "YOU NAILED THAT CHICK...HAHAHAHA!!!!" 'Til this day he gives me shit about it
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Met this goth fatty freshman year in college.
Every thursday in Toledo was the "big" night to go out. And being that i went to an all male catholic h.s, I was like a kid in a candy store in college. And back then i was even more careful about bagging an ugly chick. So, I did my usual, downed a 40oz of St. Ides, hit the club and had fun. So, I run into the goth chick with the rest of hre brood and she says she has seen me around my apartment complex. Im getting the vibe she wants to hook up so i get her number and go about my clubbing. I leave at closinig and get home and find myself horny as hell. I call her and she says come on over. Now, up until her i had only banged 3 girls so i was a little quick on the trigger.
I walk in (and its like 3am) and its pitch dark. We go to her room and go RIGHT at it! Clothes come off and i go to give her oral and im confronted by the biggest, darkest bush ive ever seen! EVER!!! So, i figure im already down there so i do my manly duty. I come up and she gives me head like a CHAMP! You could telll she was a veteran of the BJ wars b/c she worked it. I break out the comdom and specifically tell her "its been a while for me, so im going to try to last" NOPE!!!! After about (and this is no lie) 30 pumps, here comes the money shot! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Then the guily. WTF did I do? What if I see this chick again? So, i go back to my place shower and crash.
But my dumbass
Quote of the year!!! HAHAHA!!!
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My best friend is "dating" this super trashy stripper and we go over one night about 1am. So, we get there and first thing i notice is her kids are still up (they were toddlers) and the blunts on the table. Mother of the year. So we get there and im thinking we are going to tag team this chick but she has her fat cousin there. Not too cute, but a nice rack. I TOTALLY DIDNT THINK I WAS GOING TO BANG. So, after a blunt and some b.s small talk, my boy and the whore go in the room. Im like..."wait, what about me???" Grrrrrr
So im sitting there with the cousin and she starts rubbinhg my arm and im like, "okie dokie, time to pokie". So, top comes off, hello rack! Play with them for a second, then i start to go down.....unbutton the pants over the big belly.....Now, my first indication that things were not good were cotton panties. Then i saw it. The bush of all bushes. Long and brown! I swear this was the most bush ive ever seen 'til this DAY!!! If you cut it and pasted to my face id look Amish! Now, the tricky part is that once you are down there you cant bolt back up. Soooo, i manned up and did the tongue flick! No getting my face in there, but the chick grabbed the back of my head and was trying to suffocate me!
So after 5 minutes of navigating through the woods, we start boning. NOT INTO THIS AT ALL!!!! But b/c of the blunt, i was lasting. DAMN!!! So, we do the usual, missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl. The SPLASH!!! DONE!!! And as you have read before, when im done, my pervert leaves me and this one, I regretted. She wanted to kiss and do it again but i told her "my boy will be done soon and we have to get going, i have to work in the morning". That bastard didnt come out for another 30 minutes! So we leave and i didnt tell him i boned her. The next week I get a call from my boy saying "YOU NAILED THAT CHICK...HAHAHAHA!!!!" 'Til this day he gives me shit about it
Fucking classic!!!
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Love BMC stories :D
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I'm good friends with this fat girl that was in college in my city cos my cousin was bangin her sister. She's a good laugh but bigger than I normally go for (thin to medium). We are hangin out a bit and one night she txts me to go over, when I get there she answers apartment naked and we head to her room. Great blowjob, and she hands me a condom, put it on and I'm on top. After like 6thrusts I think fuck I'm gonna blow my load so I bend her over, nope the change of position did nothing, another 6thrusts and a guilty orgasm. So I kneel down beside the bed, sneakily take off condom and put it in my shoe and say to her look this is happening a bit fast, can I just go down on u. Now she has no idea I came so my reputation is intact. Get her off and leave apartment. Forget my watch and have to call back the next day
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So I was seeing this girl I worked with. She seemed "normal", but the more we talked the more I realized she was a whack job. But, she had big boobs and a big butt. So after some BMC-Mack-Daddy pimp lines, we hooked up. First night she wanted to kiss and crap, ok. I can do that. We must have kissed for hours before she let me hit. But I did. It was ok. No fireworks. But she had this ANNOYING habit of squeezing her love canal while i was in it. At first it was ok, but after a while it messed my groove up. So we were seeing each other for about 2 months and I go over to her place (she was 420 friendly....and gave me free joints....) and we go in her room. First, her place was a mess. So, I see ALL her anti-crazy meds. Nice. And mixing it with green and booze. NIce.
So we go to her room and I make my way over the maze of dirty clothes on the floor and we start. Im on top, then she's on top and then im on top. So, she starts squeezing and im trying to get off and she isnt helping. "You like when i squeeze?" Ummm, sure, but shhhhhh, dont talk, im almost done. The chcik keeps squeezing. So i bust and its not a great one b/c she ruined it. So we get up and look on the bed. "What is that?" she says. Not sure. We look closer. ITS A TURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :-XThe chick squeezed out a turd while trying to be freaky. Im down for a lot, but no scat. I look at her, she looks at me and turns BRIGHT red. "Im so embarrased" That's ok. She grabs the sheets off (I hope she threw them away) and goes to shower. I grab my cell and pretend its an urget call. Hey, I have to leave, my Dad needs me to give him a ride. PEACE OUT!
Made for an akward moment at work. We hung out for a few more months and even boned in our co workers office once. But that killed it for me. I told her NEVER to squeeze with me again!
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Mike you ever take one of these chicks out in public?
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Mike you ever take one of these chicks out in public?
Well the one I had to take to dinner, but it was a a chinese resturant, but the rest, NEVER!
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I've had a few bitches that when I took off there their panties There was a full on skid mark down them. But for some reason that shit (pun intended) turned me on.
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The Aristocrats!
/thread.
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I've had a few bitches that when I took off there their panties There was a full on skid mark down them. But for some reason that shit (pun intended) turned me on.
:-X
You're hardcore bro!
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:-X
You're hardcore bro!
Hahaha. nothing like dirty undies on a hoe
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Hahaha. nothing like dirty undies on a hoe
:o
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OK, im about 22, drinking at the bar and some fatty starts flirting with me. She was nice and kinda cute for a 450 pounder. One thing leads to another and we go back to my friends house. We drank some more and everyone passes out but me and her.
We drink some more and bang. A quality 30 seconds later, I crack one off on her gut. She gets up to go to the bathroom. I quickly put on my pants and get the fuck outta there like a crackhead on fire.
funny part is, we were at the bar playing pool earlier, so i have about 6 bucks in quarters in my pocket. Im jamming to get my pants on and all these quarters are falling out like jiggle bells.
poor thing. she musta came out of that bathroom like 'where the fuck is he?'
she was actually very nice, and i kinda feel bad about it, but fuck it.
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Good story big mike.
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OK, im about 22, drinking at the bar and some fatty starts flirting with me. She was nice and kinda cute for a 450 pounder. One thing leads to another and we go back to my friends house. We drank some more and everyone passes out but me and her.
We drink some more and bang. A quality 30 seconds later, I crack one off on her gut. She gets up to go to the bathroom. I quickly put on my pants and get the fuck outta there like a crackhead on fire.
funny part is, we were at the bar playing pool earlier, so i have about 6 bucks in quarters in my pocket. Im jamming to get my pants on and all these quarters are falling out like jiggle bells.
poor thing. she musta came out of that bathroom like 'where the fuck is he?'
she was actually very nice, and i kinda feel bad about it, but fuck it.
ROFLMFAO
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True story.
I met this chunky boo on PoF. She looked okay in her photos. Thick, shaved, nice tits. I asked her to take a video of her phone fingering herself screaming my name (fake name I gave her) She did it. She was a horney chunky. So we finally decided to meet. We met at a cafe midday. She seemed to be about 50 pounds heavier in real life than in the photos, I thought photos added weight. I didn't give a shit. The whole time I had a raging hard on. Probably from the 1 cc test I injected that morning.
We go to a motel nearby. It is where I take all my hookers, but this one is free. YES! I had to take a wicked piss, but she jumps in that she needs to go to the bathroom. So I let her go first thinking she'd be fast. I hear water running, then off, then running, then off, for a few minutes. She comes out and I go in to piss. The bathroom smells like a fresh shit was taken. WTF! She took a dump right now! Fucking fat bitch. Who the fuck takes a shit right before sex with someone new? I come back into the room and she's in her underwear and then she peels them off and gets into doggy position. her ass is big and fat with pimples on it from the sweat fat people get when they sit down and this brown halo the size of a personal pizza around her ass hole. All I can picture is shit coming out. So I walk around the bed and strip down , lay on the bed next to her and tell her to suck my cock, so she starts sucking me but while on all fours starts rotating her body into 69 position. I'm thinking, fuck this. You ain't sticking that shit ass in my face. I'm already starting to smell taco bell coming around the corner and before she can straddle my head I slide out and throw her on her back. I bag my cock and fuck her, real mad, make her cry mad. I cum, clean up and tell her I'm going to get us some sodas from the machine. I went back to the front desk, paid in cash and closed out the room under the fake name I always use and just drive off leaving her there, never going back. She IM'd be in PoF a bunch of hate messages but stopped after a few days.
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True story.
I met this chunky boo on PoF. She looked okay in her photos. Thick, shaved, nice tits. I asked her to take a video of her phone fingering herself screaming my name (fake name I gave her) She did it. She was a horney chunky. So we finally decided to meet. We met at a cafe midday. She seemed to be about 50 pounds heavier in real life than in the photos, I thought photos added weight. I didn't give a shit. The whole time I had a raging hard on. Probably from the 1 cc test I injected that morning.
We go to a motel nearby. It is where I take all my hookers, but this one is free. YES! I had to take a wicked piss, but she jumps in that she needs to go to the bathroom. So I let her go first thinking she'd be fast. I hear water running, then off, then running, then off, for a few minutes. She comes out and I go in to piss. The bathroom smells like a fresh shit was taken. WTF! She took a dump right now! Fucking fat bitch. Who the fuck takes a shit right before sex with someone new? I come back into the room and she's in her underwear and then she peels them off and gets into doggy position. her ass is big and fat with pimples on it from the sweat fat people get when they sit down and this brown halo the size of a personal pizza around her ass hole. All I can picture is shit coming out. So I walk around the bed and strip down , lay on the bed next to her and tell her to suck my cock, so she starts sucking me but while on all fours starts rotating her body into 69 position. I'm thinking, fuck this. You ain't sticking that shit ass in my face. I'm already starting to smell taco bell coming around the corner and before she can straddle my head I slide out and throw her on her back. I bag my cock and fuck her, real mad, make her cry mad. I cum, clean up and tell her I'm going to get us some sodas from the machine. I went back to the front desk, paid in cash and closed out the room under the fake name I always use and just drive off leaving her there, never going back. She IM'd be in PoF a bunch of hate messages but stopped after a few days.
:-X
Dont know if i want to laugh or vomit
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:-X
Dont know if i want to laugh or vomit
needless to say, as soon as I got hime, I washed my clothes in the sanitize settings and took a 1/2 hour shower. I smelled like taco bell for a week.
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Was their ever a time where you were simply unable to locate the vagina? Or perhaps a situation where the foul smell from her nether regions was too much to bear?
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Ok...met another chick off Myspace. I could tell from the conversation that she was looking for something more than some BBC. Ok, I can play that game. We talk for a few days and finally decide to meet. So, she gets to my place and she is pretty thick. A little taller than me at around 5'8, pushing 250 or so. BIG boobs and ass! So we go to eat at a chinese joint and im laying on the BMC charm. And at dinner she comes right out with the "im looking for a good guy". Well, "I AM a good guy. Did i tell you how pretty you are?" Next we go to the beach and sit on some swing that i thought was going to break. She does the holding hand thing and i kiss her and grab the boob. "Let's go back to my place" I say. "Ok" YEAH BOYEEEEE!!!!
We get back to my place and we are on the couch and she is acting shy. Eventually I get the top off and go for the pants. Now, im not sure how many of you have bagged a fatty, but when the belly is big and pants are tight its hard to get your hand in. But I get my paw in there and start messing with the love button. We move to my romm where im in for a nice surprise. The kitty is GOOD!!! So i ask her to get on top. This is where the problem is. She gets on and has to push off my arms to sit up and ride me! Im rubbing the belly and boobs and SPLASH!!!! My goo goo juice is relaeased and once again the same issue. She lays on me and cuddles and i feel like im being crushed! Im assuming she wants to stay over b/c she starts to fall asleep. "Sweetie, i really want you to stay but i have to get up early and take my mom to the airport" I can tell she isnt happy and even askes me if im sure i want a relationship. "yes, I mean, lets just take it slow"
She gets dressed and kisses me some more and by this point i want her gone. "Let me walk you to your car" Now, she is a big one and my neighbor just happens to be comeing in when im walking her out! DAMN!!! He looks at me, then her and just shakes his head and smiles!!!!
Im over here dying
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Was their ever a time where you were simply unable to locate the vagina? Or perhaps a situation where the foul smell from her nether regions was too much to bear?
For me it was the latter. This one was a smoking hot bartender that I picked up at a club. She was gorgeous and a sick body. After the club closes we go back to her place. I am seriously in awe that I was about to fuck this specimen. We make out forever and I get her pants off. I start to fingerbang her and when my hand comes up I get the most awful wiff of a subway tuna sub that sat in the car all day. FUCK! Why. I excuse myself to the bathroom and sniff my fingers, the smell was revolting. But while sniffing, my fingers touch my nose and now the smell won't go away. I wash my hands as much as I can and the smell won't leave. I am already blue balling so I decide to go in.
She is on the bed, fucking godess of a body. I throw on my jimmy and fuck away, but the smell remains on my nose. I finish and politely leave. I get home and I swear my jeans stink like tune now from her rubbing on me. I wash them but the smell won't leave. I just throw them away, I showered three times that night but still couldn't get the stench off of me. Just a sad time. I see her at the club again and she is asking me to go back to her place again. I decline and all my frieds think I need my head examined but I couldn't.
Just my luck that something so perfect was so imperfect.
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"kind of cute for a 450 pounder" hahahahahhahhahhaha
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I see a consistent "hit and remorse" theme going on here...
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Boom... Once I was New York for my sister’s birthday party. Her Bday is Oct 30... So it’s usually a costume party kind of thing...so I go as a Crip... (Ill post pictures later). But usually girls dress up like Whores for costume parties. So boom...Because I’m with my sister. I get a lot of chicks throwing themselves at me because they think they can get close to EVA. So this group of 3 chicks comes in and they spot me and my friends. I’m drunk and I couldn’t give shit about how I acted... The hot one was this red head that lived in Miami but was from Vancouver. Anyway she was a Naughty Nurse and she stood like 5'8 140 lbs. with nice hips and ass and titties. So we make small talk... I tell her I’m gonna grab her titty... and I do it... She laughed so I knew it was on....
Night goes on and I’m trying to get other girls because I know I got that one in the bag...
Now... when i realize that this is as good as it gets... (And its bot bad at all... she was top 10 sexiest people at the party)... I say fuck it...and tell her to hook up later that night. I went to go eat and she kept calling... So I was staying with my buddy in Fort Lee NJ (right over the GW bridge..) so I told my hommie to drop me off at the Best Western right off the freeway.. She gets a cab to take her there and boom it’s on... I was drunk and so was she... But when I tell you she was mentally focused when it came to giving me head...man it was like better than the porn movies.. She actually took pride in giving head.... licking balls and everything...
So I’m ready to hit.... and when I tell you... she took off her thong and i was damn near blinded by the smell... It smelled damn near like fish and cleaning Ammonia. I was really offended by it. She had the sickest body but I couldn’t stay hard... She asked me what was wrong with me... and me being half way drunk I said "I’m sensitive to smells right now I’m smelling something hella wild" She gon say "yeah the Best Western isn’t exactly the Ritz"...I damn near lose it.. "I was talking about a bodily odor and its coming from you” She says "oh well I been out all day, maybe I should have showered" "NO SHIT, YA THINK"
So sheeeeit... after we shower together... i made sure she washed the under carriage.... i wore her ass out... Now... i got the smell out of my nose... but it was planted in my head for eternity.
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Boom... Once I was New York for my sister’s birthday party. Her Bday is Oct 30... So it’s usually a costume party kind of thing...so I go as a Crip... (Ill post pictures later). But usually girls dress up like Whores for costume parties. So boom...Because I’m with my sister. I get a lot of chicks throwing themselves at me because they think they can get close to EVA. So this group of 3 chicks comes in and they spot me and my friends. I’m drunk and I couldn’t give shit about how I acted... The hot one was this red head that lived in Miami but was from Vancouver. Anyway she was a Naughty Nurse and she stood like 5'8 140 lbs. with nice hips and ass and titties. So we make small talk... I tell her I’m gonna grab her titty... and I do it... She laughed so I knew it was on....
Night goes on and I’m trying to get other girls because I know I got that one in the bag...
Now... when i realize that this is as good as it gets... (And its bot bad at all... she was top 10 sexiest people at the party)... I say fuck it...and tell her to hook up later that night. I went to go eat and she kept calling... So I was staying with my buddy in Fort Lee NJ (right over the GW bridge..) so I told my hommie to drop me off at the Best Western right off the freeway.. She gets a cab to take her there and boom it’s on... I was drunk and so was she... But when I tell you she was mentally focused when it came to giving me head...man it was like better than the porn movies.. She actually took pride in giving head.... licking balls and everything...
So I’m ready to hit.... and when I tell you... she took off her thong and i was damn near blinded by the smell... It smelled damn near like fish and cleaning Ammonia. I was really offended by it. She had the sickest body but I couldn’t stay hard... She asked me what was wrong with me... and me being half way drunk I said "I’m sensitive to smells right now I’m smelling something hella wild" She gon say "yeah the Best Western isn’t exactly the Ritz"...I damn near lose it.. "I was talking about a bodily odor and its coming from you” She says "oh well I been out all day, maybe I should have showered" "NO SHIT, YA THINK"
So sheeeeit... after we shower together... i made sure she washed the under carriage.... i wore her ass out... Now... i got the smell out of my nose... but it was planted in my head for eternity.
Bad va-jay jay oder is kryptonite for a chubby. Nice move about getting her to shower
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Boom... Once I was New York for my sister’s birthday party. Her Bday is Oct 30... So it’s usually a costume party kind of thing...so I go as a Crip... (Ill post pictures later). But usually girls dress up like Whores for costume parties. So boom...Because I’m with my sister. I get a lot of chicks throwing themselves at me because they think they can get close to EVA. So this group of 3 chicks comes in and they spot me and my friends. I’m drunk and I couldn’t give shit about how I acted... The hot one was this red head that lived in Miami but was from Vancouver. Anyway she was a Naughty Nurse and she stood like 5'8 140 lbs. with nice hips and ass and titties. So we make small talk... I tell her I’m gonna grab her titty... and I do it... She laughed so I knew it was on....
Night goes on and I’m trying to get other girls because I know I got that one in the bag...
Now... when i realize that this is as good as it gets... (And its bot bad at all... she was top 10 sexiest people at the party)... I say fuck it...and tell her to hook up later that night. I went to go eat and she kept calling... So I was staying with my buddy in Fort Lee NJ (right over the GW bridge..) so I told my hommie to drop me off at the Best Western right off the freeway.. She gets a cab to take her there and boom it’s on... I was drunk and so was she... But when I tell you she was mentally focused when it came to giving me head...man it was like better than the porn movies.. She actually took pride in giving head.... licking balls and everything...
So I’m ready to hit.... and when I tell you... she took off her thong and i was damn near blinded by the smell... It smelled damn near like fish and cleaning Ammonia. I was really offended by it. She had the sickest body but I couldn’t stay hard... She asked me what was wrong with me... and me being half way drunk I said "I’m sensitive to smells right now I’m smelling something hella wild" She gon say "yeah the Best Western isn’t exactly the Ritz"...I damn near lose it.. "I was talking about a bodily odor and its coming from you” She says "oh well I been out all day, maybe I should have showered" "NO SHIT, YA THINK"
So sheeeeit... after we shower together... i made sure she washed the under carriage.... i wore her ass out... Now... i got the smell out of my nose... but it was planted in my head for eternity.
God that's awful. Kind of ruins the fun.
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^eternity...
One of the first times I really got that smell in my head, is in 7th grade, and I was sittig with this chick on the bus---she was wearing a skirt and it was in my field of vision, and bam, it hit me like a 700 pound tuna.
Women should know that bag of funk is sitting there...
I posted a vid how women can use yogurt to help with the ph balance...
And it's the worst when you have it on your finger...it never leaves.
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^eternity...
One of the first times I really got that smell in my head, is in 7th grade, and I was sittig with this chick on the bus---she was wearing a skirt and it was in my field of vision, and bam, it hit me like a 700 pound tuna.
Women should know that bag of funk is sitting there...
I posted a vid how women can use yogurt to help with the ph balance...
And it's the worst when you have it on your finger...it never leaves.
no racist, but the only time i was exposed to the funk was when i was with a nigerian girl (not in nigeria, but here). i just kept wondering about how she couldn't smell it.
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I think she was Nigerian. Can't remember. Some kind of African. Crazy body, crazy funk.
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^eternity...
One of the first times I really got that smell in my head, is in 7th grade, and I was sittig with this chick on the bus---she was wearing a skirt and it was in my field of vision, and bam, it hit me like a 700 pound tuna.
Women should know that bag of funk is sitting there...
I posted a vid how women can use yogurt to help with the ph balance...
And it's the worst when you have it on your finger...it never leaves.
SO TRUE!!!!! Its like it gets in your pours!!!! Stink Finger sucks.
Girls HAVE to know when they are stinky. Dont they?????????
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no racist, but the only time i was exposed to the funk was when i was with a nigerian girl (not in nigeria, but here). i just kept wondering about how she couldn't smell it.
this chick was in 8th grade, and was of the Guns n Roses variety. And like any their songs, that Tuna smell has been stuck in my head ever since.
And any woman after that who has it...damn it, it curls your nosehairs.
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SO TRUE!!!!! Its like it gets in your pours!!!! Stink Finger sucks.
Girls HAVE to know when they are stinky. Dont they?????????
The Game said that when he finger-b Vida G, that she had tuna cooter.
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Funny stories, but making me lose faith in humanity at the same time.
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hahaha!!! I'm kind of freaked out by the fact that I'm enjoying these stories!
You need to turn this shit into a Coffee Table Book! Make a couple hundred thousand.
Lol x2
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I was about 18, in a club and I get chatting to a good friend of mine, female (outed) we will call her Nicole and as we are talking I see this legit 330lber about 26 years old eyeing me up (friend of my friend Im talking with), I ignore her and keep chatting anyway, I walk away and can still to this day remember thinking "fuck it must suck to be the most fattest, ugliest person in the club". As the night goes on I get more drunk, shortly before the bar closes I get a text "Hey its Nicoles friend, we are staying in room number 123, come on up, (small motel next door down from the club) and bring a friend if you like ;-)". I just smile and think pffft, as if.
Then the hormones and alcohol kick in and I smile again and think... "hmm will I, this could be funny" (I for some reason thought this was a funny and good idea). I say it to my friend who is the pickiest, fussiest guy ever and wont touch anything less than an 8, he freaks out and tells me noway don't do it. At this point the club is finished and we are all standing outside on the street I see my equally drunk, older cousin who I decided to rely on for advice, I told him my situation he says..."Meaningless, we would all fuck alot of women if we thought nobody would find out, just don't tell anybody and go have fun". So I think yea fuck it this will be fun and go up to the motel room, I knock on the door and my friend Nicole and her 330lb friend are there. The next couple minutes are kinda fuzzy, but then me and the whale start kissing, at this point Nicole gets up and locks herself in the bathroom. She pulls out these massive titties, and puts them in her mouth and starts sucking on them (turned me on, gotta admit) then she points down to her pussy and says "do you want to go down on me", now Im still 18 so I dont really know how to say no, so I just ignore her and stay playing with her tits, she gives me a condom, I put it on and began to ride the waves, missionary position, I still have my jeans half on. Soon enough, I blow my load I immediately feel disgusted and ashamed, similar to how a rape victim usually describes there feelings. I immediately get up, put on my clothes and leave, the second I walk out the door of the motel my buddy is randomly driving past, he opens the door and tells me to get in. He suddenly says loudly "fucking hell there is some smell of fat pussy off you" and opens my window, I then tell him what Ive just done, feeling so horrible about myself, of course he gets a great laugh out of this. He drops me home and I wake up the next day with that same rape victim feeling of shame and disgust, only this time with a hangover. I didnt speak to my friend Nicole for almost a year after as I figured it was her fault for passing on my number. At 18 I was still figuring myself out and was mentally traumatised from riding those waves that night. Now though, 5 years on, I couldnt really give a fuck.
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Now though, 5 years on, I couldnt really give a fuck.
good that you acknowledge your existence is meaningless
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good that you acknowledge your existence is meaningless
Very original.
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Very original.
you're kind of touchy for someone whose handle is "meaningless." let me guess, you're one of those goth kids?
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I was about 18, in a club and I get chatting to a good friend of mine, female (outed) we will call her Nicole and as we are talking I see this legit 330lber about 26 years old eyeing me up (friend of my friend Im talking with), I ignore her and keep chatting anyway, I walk away and can still to this day remember thinking "fuck it must suck to be the most fattest, ugliest person in the club". As the night goes on I get more drunk, shortly before the bar closes I get a text "Hey its Nicoles friend, we are staying in room number 123, come on up, (small motel next door down from the club) and bring a friend if you like ;-)". I just smile and think pffft, as if.
Then the hormones and alcohol kick in and I smile again and think... "hmm will I, this could be funny" (I for some reason thought this was a funny and good idea). I say it to my friend who is the pickiest, fussiest guy ever and wont touch anything less than an 8, he freaks out and tells me noway don't do it. At this point the club is finished and we are all standing outside on the street I see my equally drunk, older cousin who I decided to rely on for advice, I told him my situation he says..."Meaningless, we would all fuck alot of women if we thought nobody would find out, just don't tell anybody and go have fun". So I think yea fuck it this will be fun and go up to the motel room, I knock on the door and my friend Nicole and her 330lb friend are there. The next couple minutes are kinda fuzzy, but then me and the whale start kissing, at this point Nicole gets up and locks herself in the bathroom. She pulls out these massive titties, and puts them in her mouth and starts sucking on them (turned me on, gotta admit) then she points down to her pussy and says "do you want to go down on me", now Im still 18 so I dont really know how to say no, so I just ignore her and stay playing with her tits, she gives me a condom, I put it on and began to ride the waves, missionary position, I still have my jeans half on. Soon enough, I blow my load I immediately feel disgusted and ashamed, similar to how a rape victim usually describes there feelings. I immediately get up, put on my clothes and leave, the second I walk out the door of the motel my buddy is randomly driving past, he opens the door and tells me to get in. He suddenly says loudly "fucking hell there is some smell of fat pussy off you" and opens my window, I then tell him what Ive just done, feeling so horrible about myself, of course he gets a great laugh out of this. He drops me home and I wake up the next day with that same rape victim feeling of shame and disgust, only this time with a hangover. I didnt speak to my friend Nicole for almost a year after as I figured it was her fault for passing on my number. At 18 I was still figuring myself out and was mentally traumatised from riding those waves that night. Now though, 5 years on, I couldnt really give a fuck.
Championship winning post bro
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The Game said that when he finger-b Vida G, that she had tuna cooter.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Well, regardless of what kind of yeast was or is growing inside Vida, im hittinig...RAW
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I see a consistent "hit and remorse" theme going on here...
When i was on a mission to hit, my mind was not clear. The only goal was to release my swimmers, but once i was done. It was such a downer! I mean the SECOND I was done i wanted to leave.
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When i was on a mission to hit, my mind was not clear. The only goal was to release my swimmers, but once i was done. It was such a downer! I mean the SECOND I was done i wanted to leave.
You need a new pattern of thought...hit those that you will not be ashamed of... Instead of "scooters", go for "harleys", then progress to "sportbikes".
And about Vida, The Game had a infamous interview on Hot97, where he talked about the incident at a party....I think it was wrong for him to talk about her like that, and then put her in the song "Wouldn't Get Far"
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True story.
I met this chunky boo on PoF. She looked okay in her photos. Thick, shaved, nice tits. I asked her to take a video of her phone fingering herself screaming my name (fake name I gave her) She did it. She was a horney chunky. So we finally decided to meet. We met at a cafe midday. She seemed to be about 50 pounds heavier in real life than in the photos, I thought photos added weight. I didn't give a shit. The whole time I had a raging hard on. Probably from the 1 cc test I injected that morning.
We go to a motel nearby. It is where I take all my hookers, but this one is free. YES! I had to take a wicked piss, but she jumps in that she needs to go to the bathroom. So I let her go first thinking she'd be fast. I hear water running, then off, then running, then off, for a few minutes. She comes out and I go in to piss. The bathroom smells like a fresh shit was taken. WTF! She took a dump right now! Fucking fat bitch. Who the fuck takes a shit right before sex with someone new? I come back into the room and she's in her underwear and then she peels them off and gets into doggy position. her ass is big and fat with pimples on it from the sweat fat people get when they sit down and this brown halo the size of a personal pizza around her ass hole. All I can picture is shit coming out. So I walk around the bed and strip down , lay on the bed next to her and tell her to suck my cock, so she starts sucking me but while on all fours starts rotating her body into 69 position. I'm thinking, fuck this. You ain't sticking that shit ass in my face. I'm already starting to smell taco bell coming around the corner and before she can straddle my head I slide out and throw her on her back. I bag my cock and fuck her, real mad, make her cry mad. I cum, clean up and tell her I'm going to get us some sodas from the machine. I went back to the front desk, paid in cash and closed out the room under the fake name I always use and just drive off leaving her there, never going back. She IM'd be in PoF a bunch of hate messages but stopped after a few days.
LMFAO
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When i was on a mission to hit, my mind was not clear. The only goal was to release my swimmers, but once i was done. It was such a downer! I mean the SECOND I was done i wanted to leave.
Yup "Fuckers Remorse"!
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You need a new pattern of thought...hit those that you will not be ashamed of... Instead of "scooters", go for "harleys", then progress to "sportbikes".
And about Vida, The Game had a infamous interview on Hot97, where he talked about the incident at a party....I think it was wrong for him to talk about her like that, and then put her in the song "Wouldn't Get Far"
Very true. There have been quite a few with no guilt and that ive gone in public with.
You dont put folks business out there like that. So she is a little tart down there, its not like he is Denzel
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I was once in Germany with work. Decided to go to a hotel to visit a female colleague. She was not thin, I must say, but she craved the cawk badly.
She got what she wanted and I had to sneak out in the morning to avoid the other colleagues seeing me at the hotel.
In my experience, honest to god, fat girls often fuck very well.