Rimbauld, I just remembered I was in a somewhat similar situation myself. it was about 6 years ago, and I was in a network mktg meeting, and at the end of the evening, I turned around and there was this investment banker who i used to do dinners and lunch dates with etc. Anyway, we said hello, and I asked him who had invited him to hear about the business, and he said, "I just wanted to come to see what my wife was doing. I wanted to understand how her business works, so i could better support her in it.". At the mention of "my wife" I nearly fainted. So I kept my poker face, and casually asked him who his wife was. He told me, and said "Oh how wonderful. She's a lovely lady." I discreetly discovered how long they had been married, ...and realized that fvcker was married to her while he was pursuing me.
I had orginally met the guy in 1991 at a 3-day Tom Hopkins seminar. Ran into him again in 94/95, and he started pursuing me in a big way. He failed the Rebecca test tho, so I didn't go any further, ...just kept him around for business purposes. Rebecca was an adorable little baby who looked like Pebbles Flinstone. She was the granddaughter of one of my neighbours. One night after dinner, I invited up for a drink. He thought he'd be coming up to my apartment. Imagine his surprise when I led him up to the private bar and restaurant on the 10th floor of the condo. Anyway, many of my neighbours were in there having a drink etc., along with Rebecca. She distinctly did NOT like him at all.
I gotta tell you, there's nothing funnier than watching a grown man desperately trying to feign delight in a small child, especially when that small child makes it clear she can't stand him. It was so funny, he'd be smiling, and cooing, and talking baby talk in this proper British accent, in an attempt to curry favour with me, and being frustrated and stymied by an unco-operative 7 month old who saw right through him. His frustration was so palpable. {lol}
Anyway, he was too much of a snob, and too stiff for my tastes.
I decided I wasn't about to breathe a word to his wife. She wasn't my close friend, I barely knew the woman, she was just another distributor in my company, and she was crossline to me, so i was keeping my mouth shut.
I think he was fearful I would say something and said something to her himself, because she had always been so nice and pleasant, but after that day, she did a complete 180. I could sense the tension in her. After a few months, she seemed to be ok and back to normal. I suppose part of it had to do with the fact that I never said a word to anyone. She was fearful she would end up the laughing stock of our entire distributor co-op. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to see her embarrased or humiliated... for what? It's not like I ever slept with him, ...or even locked lips with the guy.
ps: If she had been a good friend, it would have been a whole different story.