if jesus had to tell u to be a nice person u got big problems
I'd love to go back in time and butt rape jesus as he carried the cross. Like think about it, poor guy, he's going to go die and people are throwing rocks and shit and he's got a motherfucking tree strapped to his back, and it's like the climax when he is about to reach the place he's going to, and here comes my skinny ass with my dick swinging between my legs and I fucking RAPE him, in the gatdam ASS no less! What a dick move right, but no one really cares, they kinda shrug and go well we don't approve of rape but we jesus hating anyways, and soon enough they get tired and go home and the sun is setting and I'm still going at it, real slow like you know, you think I wouldn't slow rape jesus? I'm going as slow as I fucking can, he's like can you go any slower jackass? I'm like watch me oooooooh. I kiss his neck and whisper into his ear "your nightmare's just began homo" And the guards kinda look at each other, they say fuck the crucifiction, we'll leave it to this guy, they go you gonna kill him right? I go, you ever seen the wire? OMAR AINT GOT NOTHING ON ME.
I forgot how I was gonna end this, wheres my gatdaym pinapple juice