Can cheap men be trusted?

[Samourai Pizzacat]

I'll play the advocate's devil here.

This is might have been a one-time occaison, he was pragmatic; he saw a nice bouqet that did not get appreciated, he used it make someone feel special, ofcourse he's not gonna say he got them from the office.

Refrain from judging someone by a single event, the poor guy immediately gets labeled cheap etc for what is basically a smart move.

[The Squadfather]

I think there's a difference between being frugal/wise with cash and being cheap.

That having been said, here's what happened yesterday.  A supplier came in with a huge bouquet of flowers which he dumped on my desk, but technically they were for everyone. (I'm the only female)  I put them out in the main area, but the guys complained that they "smelled" so I brought them back to my desk.  All of this back and forth attracted the attention of a really junior guy who is basically a schlepper, but he makes decent money and lives at home, so doesn't really have any financial obligations. He wanted to take them to give to his girlfriend.  None of us really wanted them, so we said sure...

Today he's all smiles and walking around with his pecs stuck out because his girlfriend went out of her way to "appreciate" him on V-Day, since she was under the impression that he spent well over $100 on flowers for her.  He told us he lied, and finds nothing wrong with that.

I find this the height of cheap.  And if he's willing to lie to save a few bucks, what else will he be willing to lie about?  I think people who are cheap with money, are also cheap when it comes to affairs of the heart.  Am I wrong? 

this will probably get deleted for being too honest but i think that this speaks more to the phonyness of women that they're only willing to have sex when they think a man spent a lot of money.

[Cap]

I think if anybody has the audacity to get mad at me for how I spend my money (I consider myself moderatley cheap) then I would dump them.  I'm sure my gf thinks I spent more than I did but I will never tell her that and will let her think I did.  It's all an illusion.

[Deedee]

this will probably get deleted for being too honest but i think that this speaks more to the phonyness of women that they're only willing to have sex when they think a man spent a lot of money.

Well I'm going to disagree with you.  Those flowers were actually for me, but I felt it was inappropriate to accept them so "shared" them with the guys I work with. That particular supplier has tried to give me several expensive gifts and even a trip, all of which I've refused.  There are lots of women who aren't impressed with being bought.  If someone I love does something sweet for me, or gives me something, I would want to reciprocate in some way... but it wouldn't preclude me from being "nice" of my own volition either.

[Deedee]

I've used roses from my grandma's rose bush before, never said a word.   

Lol!  At least you made the effort to pick them yourself... 

[Cap]

Lol!  At least you made the effort to pick them yourself... 

Deedee, I know you wanted flowers but I am a one woman guy.  Maybe if things don't work out.....

[arigato]

Well I'm going to disagree with you.  Those flowers were actually for me, but I felt it was inappropriate to accept them so "shared" them with the guys I work with. That particular supplier has tried to give me several expensive gifts and even a trip, all of which I've refused.  There are lots of women who aren't impressed with being bought.  If someone I love does something sweet for me, or gives me something, I would want to reciprocate in some way... but it wouldn't preclude me from being "nice" of my own volition either.

ok now i see why ur so bitter... lol

you should have told him those flowers for you! or was it for the whole office and u happend to be the only female in the room and thats why the dude left them on your desk?
have u received any other bouquet of flowers besides the one from the office? u seem really pissed about this whole thing...

[Deedee]

Deedee, I know you wanted flowers but I am a one woman guy.  Maybe if things don't work out.....

Thanks for the heads up.  

[Cap]

Thanks for the heads up. 

Hahaha 

[Deedee]

ok now i see why ur so bitter... lol

you should have told him those flowers for you! or was it for the whole office and u happend to be the only female in the room and thats why the dude left them on your desk?
have u received any other bouquet of flowers besides the one from the office? u seem really pissed about this whole thing...

I think you missed the whole story. Maybe you should read the thread again. But here's the summary: Some guy brought flowers to the office, I didn't want them, it isn't appropriate to accept gifts from outside suppliers, and so I gave them to the kid from another floor. He lied to his girlfriend about where he got them... told her he bought them, then bragged to us the next day about how well they worked for him. Yeah, if I had known he was going to be such a jerk with the girlfriend,  I wouldn't have let him have the flowers. The point of this thread was... is lying about something like giving flowers you didn't buy to your girlfriend cheap? And if someone is willing to lie about something like that to someone he supposedly "loves," what else would he lie about?

[arigato]

I think there's a difference between being frugal/wise with cash and being cheap.

That having been said, here's what happened yesterday.  A supplier came in with a huge bouquet of flowers which he dumped on my desk, but technically they were for everyone. (I'm the only female)  I put them out in the main area, but the guys complained that they "smelled" so I brought them back to my desk.  All of this back and forth attracted the attention of a really junior guy who is basically a schlepper, but he makes decent money and lives at home, so doesn't really have any financial obligations. He wanted to take them to give to his girlfriend.  None of us really wanted them, so we said sure...

Today he's all smiles and walking around with his pecs stuck out because his girlfriend went out of her way to "appreciate" him on V-Day, since she was under the impression that he spent well over $100 on flowers for her.  He told us he lied, and finds nothing wrong with that.

I find this the height of cheap.  And if he's willing to lie to save a few bucks, what else will he be willing to lie about?  I think people who are cheap with money, are also cheap when it comes to affairs of the heart.  Am I wrong? 

well, i saw this and do u actually think his gf asked him, if he paid his own money for it? or do u think she just assumed he paid for them? because why would this girl ask such question?  i would think she was just happy to see flowers... i mean when u get gifts do u always ask if he paid his own money for them? and ask how much he paid?
i've given my gf plenty of gifts and never once she asked me where i got them or if i paid for them.. she was just happy i thought of her... ya know wat i mean?

[arigato]

and i really don't think he was bragging... prolly more like sharing his valentines day story with rest of co-workers...
and u were pissed off because those were ur flowers if he didn't take em... instead he took em to his gf and made her night... when it should have been u?
from reading this thread u seem just bitter... and im not picking on u here!!! jus incase... im defending him though for sure!

[Cap]

Greg House: "Everybody lies...."

[arigato]

and if this dude did lie, this is what u call a "sweet lie" which is ok to do...

there was a time when i was broke as a joke (26yrs old) and had absolutely NO$$$... and it was valentines day.... so i looked under the couch for changes and broke out my change jar.. i cashed it at coin exchange machine and ended up being 20dollars..
i took her out to some shitty chinese restaurant, and acted like i had money for dinner... lol which i really didn't lol... and she knew i was lying about having money... now was she happy or thought i was some brokeass jokester?  well  i'm 33 now and she still my girl   she's a pharmacist and make great money of her own.. imo girls with money never care about dudes with money...  she was just happy i made her valentines...

[Deedee]

well, i saw this and do u actually think his gf asked him, if he paid his own money for it? or do u think she just assumed he paid for them? because why would this girl ask such question?  i would think she was just happy to see flowers... i mean when u get gifts do u always ask if he paid his own money for them? and ask how much he paid?
i've given my gf plenty of gifts and never once she asked me where i got them or if i paid for them.. she was just happy i thought of her... ya know wat i mean?

I said that to avoid giving away too many details about my personal involvement.  I'm not angry in the least.  And the guy who bragged could have just given the flowers to the gf without any explanation at all.  He went out of his way to tell her he paid for them to impress her.  And I think I'm closer to the situation than you are... he was definitely bragging.

[RHINO290]

I said that to avoid giving away too many details about my personal involvement.  I'm not angry in the least.  And the guy who bragged could have just given the flowers to the gf without any explanation at all.  He went out of his way to tell her he paid for them to impress her.  And I think I'm closer to the situation than you are... he was definitely bragging.

No doubt Deedee, the guy is a jerk off. I'm a MAN, I would never do that, then brag about it.....real men don't do  that.

[Deedee]

Trust me when i tell you that is a small thing. I have been lied to about feelings, situations, and so on. A real lie is when someone tells you they love you, and want to be with you, meanwhile, they are telling someone else the same thing. They may call it confusion, I call it lieing(sp?)....

Truth is people lie....and then they rationalize why to accomodate their agenda, such is life.

You don't seem to be having a great time lately.  

Probably everyone's experienced something similar.  You're right, flowers is meaningless next to something like that. Sometimes though, people really are confused and say or do things they normally wouldn't. We've probably all done that at some point. Don't you have some behavior you look back on, and feel ashamed at the way you treated someone?

I hope you feel better about this soon. Maybe just don't be jumping into something right away when you still feel like this or you'll end up doing the same thing.

[The Squadfather]

It's just sad, and now I am angry. I meet her, she has a lousy husband, leaves him for me, then runs back to him.....

I can understand all that, but the way it was done, just being dumped off, like a piece of trash, really hurt.....Then to be made the subject, as to say "how dare you be mad at me for dumping you, and ignoring you, and lieing to you, I'm not sure now I would want to be with you"!

Bottom line, her husband will never change, and she will come back to me, but i'm not sure I would ever trust her again....too many lies.

btw, to have this done to you, 4 times.......

damn man i used to love screwing married women, they're awesome, they're horny and they don't want anything from you other than sex.

[The Squadfather]

You always know how to cheer me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha, i'm sorry big man, did this just happen, Jack?

[arigato]

ok... if he went out of his way to lie that he actually paid for them... lol wow... yes, not only his sweeliar but a  complete LOSER imo...if i was him, i would have kept my mouth shut!

but thats if he really said that... that is pretty low thing to do to impress a girl...

[Deedee]

damn man i used to love screwing married women, they're awesome, they're horny and they don't want anything from you other than sex.

You're always the romantic. 

[Deedee]

ok... if he went out of his way to lie that he actually paid for them... lol wow... yes, not only his sweeliar but a  complete LOSER imo...if i was him, i would have kept my mouth shut!

but thats if he really said that... that is pretty low thing to do to impress a girl...

The story you told before about being poor is not the same at all. You used your last pennies to take that girl out. Anyone would appreciate that. 

Uch, who knows what this kid really said.  Maybe what he told us was just a lie too, and he got nothing. 

[tu_holmes]

You're always the romantic. 

He may not be romantic, but is telling the truth... to an extent.

If you're married and you go elsewhere, you're probably just trying to get some... Something at home is missing, so you're out searching for it... it's usually found in a bed somewhere.

[The Squadfather]

Yes, as we speak......

that sucks man, i'd hate for that to happen to me, i hope you don't take my comment earlier to heart, i'm a changed man these days, don't let it affect your prep too much, look at it this way it's good that you know so you can get another woman, there's plenty of good chicks out there, you're a pro bodybuilder, make them come to you, a lot of girls would kill to snag a pro bodybuilder who's as successful in the financial world as you.

[arigato]

The story you told before about being poor is not the same at all. You used your last pennies to take that girl out. Anyone would appreciate that. 

Uch, who knows what this kid really said.  Maybe what he told us was just a lie too, and he got nothing. 

woo... dee let's not say "poor"  becasue poor is permanent and being broke is temp...  and i was broke not poor ... lol