Apparently I'm selfish and don't care about the human race

[LittleJ]

having children is a natural thing. and being a litlle older than most here, I can tell you this....Most of the people and couples I know that chose not to have children in their 20s and 30s.. regret it now, big time.

I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince anyone otherwise, but let's see how you feel when you're 50 , and you don't go clubbing anymore, all of your friends have families and you really don't hear from them much anymore. and you spend the majority of your life alone in front of a television...while the rest of us "assholes" are watching our kids grow up to be their own person, spending time with them, and enjoying it.

I LIKE my kid..I don't just love her cuz I'm her Dad...she's funny as shit, intelligent and a very good person., and she's my blood .....I look forward to seeing her. She doesn't "drag me down"...she lifts me up.

95% of the guys here that say they "never" are going to have children...will have children  

my own brother chose not to have children. And he's a great guy with a good wife. He's smart, VERY successful and seemingly has it all in spades..and every we get to talking about it he tells me he fucked up and wishes my Daughter had a first cousin.

You know what people without kids always have.?..Dogs. and they spoil the shit out of them, and treat them like they are kids

My

Why stop clubbin at age 50? Keep banging hoes til you die.

[Marty Champions]

i have ten little guy falcons

[mass243]

Self-perpetuation is a reason for existence? Might want to think a little harder about that one.

Trust me. I have thought this quit a bit recently; "what is the purpose of human life".

well, I came to conclusion:
I can't probably make anything really remarkable that people world wide would read from history books decades later.
So only way for us regular guys to contribute is to have children.

Please, tell your view on the subject.
I'm always eager to learn and to listen new thoughts from people. And this question still bothers me from time to time. 

[Radical Plato]

having children is a natural thing. and being a litlle older than most here, I can tell you this....Most of the people and couples I know that chose not to have children in their 20s and 30s.. regret it now, big time.

I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince anyone otherwise, but let's see how you feel when you're 50 , and you don't go clubbing anymore, all of your friends have families and you really don't hear from them much anymore. and you spend the majority of your life alone in front of a television...while the rest of us "assholes" are watching our kids grow up to be their own person, spending time with them, and enjoying it.

I LIKE my kid..I don't just love her cuz I'm her Dad...she's funny as shit, intelligent and a very good person., and she's my blood .....I look forward to seeing her. She doesn't "drag me down"...she lifts me up.

95% of the guys here that say they "never" are going to have children...will have children  

my own brother chose not to have children. And he's a great guy with a good wife. He's smart, VERY successful and seemingly has it all in spades..and every we get to talking about it he tells me he fucked up and wishes my Daughter had a first cousin.

You know what people without kids always have.?..Dogs. and they spoil the shit out of them, and treat them like they are kids

My

All the people I know who had kids regret it - not having kids doesn't make you happier, just calmer, richer and free.  Why anyone would want to introduce another being to a planet in meltdown is beyond me, I just see parenting as a narcissistic extension of ones self, not a decision made in the hope of bringing in a life-force, nurturing, supporting, loving it to maturity - Most people just breed because they can, and then continue to semi neglect the child for 18 years and then wonder why there kids hate them.  Breeding for breeding sake is sick, there are 6.9 billion oxygen thieves on the planet, does it really need one more.

[hematocritter]

You won't be around in 5 years after you wife takes you for half, full custody, and child support and you end up getting treated like a criminal in the divorce courts.

She will use your steroid use against you and the court system will eat it up. You better be careful. The courts see no difference between a steroid user and a meth addict.

She's not an Americano. My chances of marital success have now skyrocketed based on this piece of data.

[che]

richer

 

[sky02316]

She's not an Americano. My chances of marital success have now skyrocketed based on this piece of data.

Only if you don't live in America yes

[Palpatine Q]

All the people I know who had kids regret it - not having kids doesn't make you happier, just calmer, richer and free.  Why anyone would want to introduce another being to a planet in meltdown is beyond me, I just see parenting as a narcissistic extension of ones self, not a decision made in the hope of bringing in a life-force, nurturing, supporting, loving it to maturity - Most people just breed because they can, and then continue to semi neglect the child for 18 years and then wonder why there kids hate them.  Breeding for breeding sake is sick, there are 6.9 billion oxygen thieves on the planet, does it really need one more.

i'm sure EVERY person you know who has children has confided in you, and said they wish they never had children,  because that happens all the time   

and you're including yourself as one of those "oxygen thieves" right ? and your parents shouldn't have given birth to you?

Don't worry....I'm not expecting an honest answer

[da_vinci]

i'm sure EVERY person you know who has children has confided in you, and said they wish they never had children,  because that happens all the time  

and you're including yourself as one of those "oxygen thieves" right ? and your parents shouldn't have given birth to you?

Don't worry....I'm not expecting an honest answer

Most people that have had kids (esp. these who had more than one) seem miserable, but that may be just my subjective evaluation. Most people generally doesn't know what they want out of life so they "go with the flow" and expect the best (I mean - they doesn't know any better, afterall). Not that kids are the worst thing in the world, but - they by no means "must" be the best thing.
 I may have one (or even two) just if I'll love my partner enough (and if she'll insist on having 'em). I can very well acknowledge natural urge to have kids with a female one loves, but as a rational person I can "flip" very fast to a state that enables to evaluate such an urge from a logical standpoint (most people have kids out of EMOTIONAL decision. But again - most people are reactive, not analytical) and that enables me to actually chose (not just fall for a jard wiring in the genome). Just like using a condom. It's nice to have sex, but it doesn't mean kids must be a result.
 And if you think that all childless people sit in front of the tv all day than there's something not good with the choices of activities and general interests in life in your case (or so I would think). At the very least - these people can find other people just like them and do plenty of stuff together. That's actually what I can witness very often amongst the people I know that doesn't have kids.
 Being selfish in this case may be very fulfilling, and generally - there's nothing to be ashamed of about being selfish. Finally - not having kids is NOT selfish at all, that's ridiculous. The most selfish thing is to let a new life in this fucked up world that may end up in a very bad place if the circumstances (or gene mutation) goes wrong. But, as I said - people are reactive, they doesn't analyse usually, at least - not deep enoug.
 If someone has created enough meaning in their lives, there may very well be no empty space for such a demanding activity as raising kid.
 Once again - I may have 'em, but I hope my female will take care of most of the stuff related, as life is way too interesting for me personally in many many other ways.
 To answer the last question for another poster - I personally don't give a shit about my parenst giving me a life, I'm not grateful or anything at all, it was their selifish reasons and they had more or less pleasure out of that, I wouldn't give a shit if they wouldn't ve gave me it (logically), and there's a big chance I'll hate them for that if I'll manage to live to an old age (which is hopefully not true) and experience a denegeration that's called "aging", illness and other stuff that begins when our epigenomics drift from the phenotype of youth.
 p.s. - the worst thing you can say is "oh, wait till you are my age". It's a camouflaged way to tell a person "You are too dumb to understand YET, but you may get it some time..". The case may be that a given person just have a different experience of "life" than you, simple as that.

Hope this helps.

[OTHstrong]

having children is a natural thing. and being a litlle older than most here, I can tell you this....Most of the people and couples I know that chose not to have children in their 20s and 30s.. regret it now, big time.

I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince anyone otherwise, but let's see how you feel when you're 50 , and you don't go clubbing anymore, all of your friends have families and you really don't hear from them much anymore. and you spend the majority of your life alone in front of a television...while the rest of us "assholes" are watching our kids grow up to be their own person, spending time with them, and enjoying it.

I LIKE my kid..I don't just love her cuz I'm her Dad...she's funny as shit, intelligent and a very good person., and she's my blood .....I look forward to seeing her. She doesn't "drag me down"...she lifts me up.

95% of the guys here that say they "never" are going to have children...will have children  

my own brother chose not to have children. And he's a great guy with a good wife. He's smart, VERY successful and seemingly has it all in spades..and every we get to talking about it he tells me he fucked up and wishes my Daughter had a first cousin.

You know what people without kids always have.?..Dogs. and they spoil the shit out of them, and treat them like they are kids

My

spot on

[cart@@n]

[MikMaq]

Lots of untermenschen floating around here. If you don't reproduce you genetics don't survive making you a genetic failur.

[dr.chimps]

Lots of untermenschen floating around here. If you don't reproduce you genetics don't survive making you a genetic failur.

Pretty sure life isn't a zero-sum game. Cripes. 

[Palpatine Q]

Most people that have had kids (esp. these who had more than one) seem miserable, but that may be just my subjective evaluation. Most people generally doesn't know what they want out of life so they "go with the flow" and expect the best (I mean - they doesn't know any better, afterall). Not that kids are the worst thing in the world, but - they by no means "must" be the best thing.
 I may have one (or even two) just if I'll love my partner enough (and if she'll insist on having 'em). I can very well acknowledge natural urge to have kids with a female one loves, but as a rational person I can "flip" very fast to a state that enables to evaluate such an urge from a logical standpoint (most people have kids out of EMOTIONAL decision. But again - most people are reactive, not analytical) and that enables me to actually chose (not just fall for a jard wiring in the genome). Just like using a condom. It's nice to have sex, but it doesn't mean kids must be a result.
 And if you think that all childless people sit in front of the tv all day than there's something not good with the choices of activities and general interests in life in your case (or so I would think). At the very least - these people can find other people just like them and do plenty of stuff together. That's actually what I can witness very often amongst the people I know that doesn't have kids.
 Being selfish in this case may be very fulfilling, and generally - there's nothing to be ashamed of about being selfish. Finally - not having kids is NOT selfish at all, that's ridiculous. The most selfish thing is to let a new life in this fucked up world that may end up in a very bad place if the circumstances (or gene mutation) goes wrong. But, as I said - people are reactive, they doesn't analyse usually, at least - not deep enoug.
 If someone has created enough meaning in their lives, there may very well be no empty space for such a demanding activity as raising kid.
 Once again - I may have 'em, but I hope my female will take care of most of the stuff related, as life is way too interesting for me personally in many many other ways.
 To answer the last question for another poster - I personally don't give a shit about my parenst giving me a life, I'm not grateful or anything at all, it was their selifish reasons and they had more or less pleasure out of that, I wouldn't give a shit if they wouldn't ve gave me it (logically), and there's a big chance I'll hate them for that if I'll manage to live to an old age (which is hopefully not true) and experience a denegeration that's called "aging", illness and other stuff that begins when our epigenomics drift from the phenotype of youth.
 p.s. - the worst thing you can say is "oh, wait till you are my age". It's a camouflaged way to tell a person "You are too dumb to understand YET, but you may get it some time..". The case may be that a given person just have a different experience of "life" than you, simple as that.

Hope this helps.

Not at all....it's a simple fact as you get older, your view on this subject changes. You're a young guy...and your viewpoint is to be expected. People get very  defensive about this I've noticed

again....let's see how many of you don't have children when you are over 35 or 40. One way or another, it just happens. that's life. Talk to most guys in their 20s, or early30s, and tney will say some variation of what you are saying..and yet the human race somehow manages to go on. Someone is having kids

[f450]

Most people that have had kids (esp. these who had more than one) seem miserable, but that may be just my subjective evaluation. Most people generally doesn't know what they want out of life so they "go with the flow" and expect the best (I mean - they doesn't know any better, afterall). Not that kids are the worst thing in the world, but - they by no means "must" be the best thing.
 I may have one (or even two) just if I'll love my partner enough (and if she'll insist on having 'em). I can very well acknowledge natural urge to have kids with a female one loves, but as a rational person I can "flip" very fast to a state that enables to evaluate such an urge from a logical standpoint (most people have kids out of EMOTIONAL decision. But again - most people are reactive, not analytical) and that enables me to actually chose (not just fall for a jard wiring in the genome). Just like using a condom. It's nice to have sex, but it doesn't mean kids must be a result.
 And if you think that all childless people sit in front of the tv all day than there's something not good with the choices of activities and general interests in life in your case (or so I would think). At the very least - these people can find other people just like them and do plenty of stuff together. That's actually what I can witness very often amongst the people I know that doesn't have kids.
 Being selfish in this case may be very fulfilling, and generally - there's nothing to be ashamed of about being selfish. Finally - not having kids is NOT selfish at all, that's ridiculous. The most selfish thing is to let a new life in this fucked up world that may end up in a very bad place if the circumstances (or gene mutation) goes wrong. But, as I said - people are reactive, they doesn't analyse usually, at least - not deep enoug.
 If someone has created enough meaning in their lives, there may very well be no empty space for such a demanding activity as raising kid.
 Once again - I may have 'em, but I hope my female will take care of most of the stuff related, as life is way too interesting for me personally in many many other ways.
 To answer the last question for another poster - I personally don't give a shit about my parenst giving me a life, I'm not grateful or anything at all, it was their selifish reasons and they had more or less pleasure out of that, I wouldn't give a shit if they wouldn't ve gave me it (logically), and there's a big chance I'll hate them for that if I'll manage to live to an old age (which is hopefully not true) and experience a denegeration that's called "aging", illness and other stuff that begins when our epigenomics drift from the phenotype of youth.
 p.s. - the worst thing you can say is "oh, wait till you are my age". It's a camouflaged way to tell a person "You are too dumb to understand YET, but you may get it some time..". The case may be that a given person just have a different experience of "life" than you, simple as that.

Hope this helps.

well said.

[da_vinci]

Not at all....it's a simple fact as you get older, your view on this subject changes. You're a young guy...and your viewpoint is to be expected. People get very  defensive about this I've noticed

again....let's see how many of you don't have children when you are over 35 or 40. One way or another, it just happens. that's life. Talk to most guys in their 20s, or early30s, and tney will say some variation of what you are saying..and yet the human race somehow manages to go on. Someone is having kids

If by "this" you mean - the way to tell someone "will realize IT sooner or later" (doesn't mean what's that "it" is) than I can assure you that there've been plenty of occasions already where I've heard that from other people who were older than me (at whatever age I was) and I haven't accepeted their point of view on many things.
 The proper way to say that would be - I have this subjective experience of life and it may turn out that you will end up with a similar experience and than maybe you'll get what am I saying. The key word is MAY.

Plenty of childless people by choice, I guess you just don't want to acknowledge that somewhy (as I personally don't even dismiss that possibility at all. Tho as C.Lagerfeld said once "I don't believe in fatherhood". Motherhood - yes, fatherhood - even in nature it's rare. And we're no longer "just" animals, driven purely by hard wiring of genome.).
 I personally know a one fella very well.. Two kids, tho' he hasn't payed his full attention a single day (almost literally) to them as he just... well - doesn't give a shit. 
 My reason for kids would be a female that I'd like to keep around enough. Otherwise - I want to live myself, lol, I don't give a shit whether my genome will be passed as I'll be dead anyway.

[Kahn.N.Singh]

The question of whether to have children transcends mere biology, and is socially and psychologically complex. However difficult the complexity, it sounds like some Getbiggers might resolve to become “bare branches,” i.e., the Chinese term for males who will not have children (because there are less women to hook up with).

On the biological level, consider that not one of any Getbigger’s ancestors were “bare branches.” Everyone here is a link in a genetic chain that goes back to the beginning of life itself. Remarkable, especially when you consider that an estimated 99.9 percent of all species have gone extinct.

On the individual level, every single one of our ancestors survived the numerous perils of life and found at least one "partner" (by whatever means only God knows) with which to have children, and so on, and so on. Here's an observation from that noted firebrand Richard Dawkins:

Of all organisms born, the majority die before they come of age. Of the minority that survive and breed, an even smaller minority will have a descendant alive a thousand generations hence. This tiny minority of a minority, this progenitorial elite, is all that future generations will be able to call ancestral. Ancestors are rare, descendants are common.
      All organisms that have ever lived—every animal and plant, all bacteria and all fungi, every creeping thing, and all readers of this book—can look back at their ancestors and make the following proud claim: Not a single one of our ancestors died in infancy. They all reached adulthood, and every single one was capable of finding at least one heterosexual partner and of successfully copulating. Not a single one of our ancestors was felled by an enemy, or by a virus, or by a misjudged footstep on a cliff edge, before bringing at least one child into the world. Thousands of our ancestors' contemporaries failed in all these respects, but not a single solitary one of our ancestors failed in any of them (River Out of Eden, pp. 1-2).


Of course, the same could be said for rats and bats, dogs and hogs.

[Parker]

^lagerfeld, bad example, because pretty much is pitching for the other team, and possibly had a bad father...

There are Many, Many bad parents---fathers out there. And guest who picked them to be the "father" of their kids? Hmm. The problem is, kids don't have problems, adults do.
I think there are many reasons for such a pessimistic view of kids. Bad childhood, laziness, selfishness (not wanting attention going to another, but wanting it all for themselves), the frightening aspect that one must grow up and take upon new responsibilities---money goes toward taking care of the kid, not drugs, cars, banging chicks, alcohol, and a fear of being "tied down".

I don't have kids, and I do want them---seeing my son and or daughter growing up, learning new things, teaching them new things. But, the cliche---"the world is a effed up place", starts getting too old, when you realize that, the world has always been a effed up place, and our kids could be the ones that make it a better one (less effed up place).

[da_vinci]

Not Lagerfeld as an exmple, but the IDEA (truth as an authority, but not authority as a truth. Anyone else could've said it, it's just that I recalled him saying these words).

laziness, selfishness (not wanting attention going to another, but wanting it all for themselves),

What's so selfish about not creating more rivalry for these already alive? What's so "lazy" about having other priorities in life than kids? (do you stand "near" life so you can judge what's "right" and what's "not" or do you participate in it, like everyone else, afterall?)

the frightening aspect that one must grow up and take upon new responsibilities---money goes toward taking care of the kid, not drugs, cars, banging chicks, alcohol, and a fear of being "tied down".

What about just a generally positive lifestyle, or is it "Kids or Drugs and whores?".

I don't have kids, and I do want them---seeing my son and or daughter growing up, learning new things, teaching them new things. But, the cliche---"the world is a effed up place", starts getting too old, when you realize that, the world has always been a effed up place, and our kids could be the ones that make it a better one (less effed up place).

If you are so concerned about being "not selfish" and "not lazy" - I suggest you to adapt a few kids that are abadoned by their real parents, and not make a few more, which may turn out to be complete waste of space and resources.

[che]

I'm glad that I didn't have a kid in my 20's
I'm glad I put my career first (partying ,traveling and fucking whores )  before having  a kid.
I'm glad  I have a kid right now and I wouldn't change it for anything .

[SF1900]

I'm glad that I didn't have a kid in my 20's
I'm glad I put my career first (partying ,traveling and fucking whores )  before having  a kid.
I'm glad  I have a kid right now and I wouldn't change it for anything .

Is he or she a future Getbigger? 

[Parker]

What's so selfish about not creating more rivalry for these already alive? What's so "lazy" about having other priorities in life than kids? (do you stand "near" life so you can judge what's "right" and what's "not" or do you participate in it, like everyone else, afterall?)
What about just a generally positive lifestyle, or is it "Kids or Drugs and whores?".

If you are so concerned about being "not selfish" and "not lazy" - I suggest you to adapt a few kids that are abadoned by their real parents, and not make a few more, which may turn out to be complete waste of space and resources.

Because, we learned skill sets or are taught them, and develop them into other priorities for the main reason of acquiring attention from others---namely females, do that we can procreate. Damn near everything we do, consciously or unconsciously is for attention to be given to us, so that it makes us better "picks"...we are Bower Birds, but on a higher more complex level.

It's been said that "to err is be human", well, so is rivalry...we are constantly in rivalry with each other. Our brothers, bosses, fathers, other men---if our fathers pussied out of "rivalry", we wouldn't be here. But, many haven't been taught right. So, the thinking, "why created more for the rivalry?", well that's just wimping out. Why try for the team, when someone else may get it? Why talk to the girl, she'll never pick me---my rival over there is better? Why ask my boss for a promotion, I'll only be seen as a rival to others?
One cannot go on with that type of thinking. I stand "in" life...but, I heed warnings, and see what others to do to "not" replicate them, and hopefully pass that down...

It's good to have a generally positive lifestyle...but it always seems that the people so adamant about not having kids, always have a damn bug up their ass about something---and that's not positive.
And it gets worse as you get older...I've seen 50-60 yr olds who have no kids talking about "I don't want to die alone", or "I wish I had kids", "you are lucky, cherish those who are around you, especially the young", I wonder why and how did they come to that conclusion...


Adopting kids of my own, good thinking---then you had to eff it up, by saying "by not making a few more that may tuen out to be a waste of space and resources"...See the negativity?
Also, who's today that the adopted kids may not turn out that way? I would hope not, but you've already made an assumption that having your own kids, and the outcome of them---you are too smart to know that their are no absolutes, and it's dangerous to clutch onto dogmas.
Hell, one could adopt a kid and he may turn out to be like Dexter, or not. But, ultimately...most would want to have their own kids, for the most selfish reason of all...their your blood, your genes, your kin...not someone elses.

[che]

Is he or she a future Getbigger? 

He is already a getbigger ,we went to a bodybuilding show 2 weeks ago when the men physique came out  he said '' OMG this is so gay'' ,he said it really loud it was pretty embarrassing (true story )

[Army of One]

but let's see how you feel when you're 50 , and you don't go clubbing anymore, all of your friends have families and you really don't hear from them much anymore.

I think thats a moot point these days, it isnt the 50's anymore, with the advent of the internet theres never really any reason to be lonely and have to have kids to have something to do, you can find any number of activites, groups, dating sites, clubs whatever that cater to any age group.

[bigjim]

I don't have any desire or plans to reproduce.
Some of my friends that are about as intelligent as a dog have decided that children are the only impact they can leave on this world, so they have them.... and are terrible fathers.
People don't realize that having a kid is a huge responsibility if you do it right. It is really easy to have a kid and not give a shit, which is what most people seem to do these days.

I don't give a shit about the human race continuing. If I am dead (and so was everyone else), there would be no one here to care.


I don't need kids... I have enough hobbies and interests to keep me busy, I will never be the type to rot away lonely in front of a TV.
My aunt and uncle have no kids, they are in their 50's.... and they seem to really enjoy their lives.

I don't care much for kids, they don't interest me. I prefer having money and free time. My wife and I will be 30 next month. We have traveled so much compared to our friends that have kids. We seem to be able to enjoy a lot of things that they don't because of financial and time restraints brought on by their offspring. 

I guess when youre 90 years old and all your friends have died you will ring and ask your travels to pick you some milk up from the supermarket. Ill ring my children, guess you will be having your coffee black!