I am so jealous.
I want an enlarged heart, a liver made of swiss cheese. I want male pattern baldness, bad breath, roid rage. I want to wear clown pants and have a gay 'agent'. I want to do private posing in my motel8 budget room after flying down economy class all the way. I want to spend 95% of my life looking like an obese man who sweats after climbing a stair or two. The rest of the time I want to be starving and drugging myself to near death.
I want 10k a month illegal drug habit. I really want a lower IQ too, like the pros all have.
Why? I want that trophy that is so cheap it swivels on the base and the guy's head comes off. I want the cheers and screams of tens of people as I flex my buttcheeks. Its the fucking dream man.