DJ, if what you say about your past is true then no wonder you are so angry. Your dad abandoned you and he didn't even give you good muscle building genes. So you take it out on those here who stop by to see what you are up to. Which is bugger all. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.
Your life seems to be a car wreck that you are incapable of escaping from. Many here come to see if they can help you. Nope, you are submerged in your own despair and no one can help you. You don't want any help. Long ago you abandoned even the good doctor who couldn't help you either.
There you are alone and abandoned just like you have been since you were 10 years old. You pick yourself up from the floor and start another day as the unstoppable internet warrior. "I will show the scoffers and haters," you insist. So you take drugs....anything to overcome this vast feeling
of inferiority. You amaze nobody at the gym when you handle those heavy weights. They laugh behind your back. At my gym in the past we had an award for guys like you. The Consistency Award. That was a trophy for guys who trained hard and long but got absolutely nowhere. They stayed the same
year in and out but still trained as if things were going to happen. Well, at least you will always have something to aim for. Imagine if you ever build 16 1/2 inch arms. You will start wearing singlets even in the winter to show off your new guns!