Author Topic: confessions of a getbigger.............. (Read 4592 times)

holy shit... this could go on forever.

I carpet-bomb plentyoffish and fuck short, cute, big tit chubby single moms, school teachers, bankers, real estate brokers, and convenience store cashiers on the first night... like 10-12 a month. (i have an actual gf now, though)

my home is a complete mess 90% of the time and i only clean it up if i have a girl coming over.

i judge the attractiveness and potential mate material of a woman based on the size of her calves and feet. (one must be big, the other small)

i keep baby wipes, mouthwash, and Viagra in the car. (i give myself 'cool points' if i can bang one girl, baby-wipe the pussy juice off my cock in the car, drive over and bang another girl in the same day... 3 a day is the record, 4 would be a logistical nightmare)

if no gf is in the house, i'll watch porn twice a day. can't start the day or go to bed w/o rubbing one out.... milf porn, mature porn, latina porn, bbw porn, brunette porn, ebony porn, Asian porn, CFNM porn, DP porn, gagging porn, or any combination.

I've fucked women i met on craigslist while their husbands/bf's watched for anywhere from $50 to $300.

i'll put bogus ad's on craigslist using ex-customers names & numbers. personals (of course. lol... cuckold stuff, ect), selling horse trailers, horses, miniature horses, emu's, various miniature/toy dogs, houses/rooms for rent, ect ect ect... these ex-customers are pieces of shit/assholes/bitches, not "regular" ex-customers. these fuck's have it coming.

i have a maid come to my house twice a week just to do my dishes because I'm too lazy.

I've fucked a maid once. 40-something Mexican lady, in my upstairs bathroom while her granddaughter vacuumed my living room downstairs. short, chubby with big heavy tits... could NOT deepthroat, so she didnt' get a tip. lol.... two hands on my sink, one foot up on the toilet with a hand towel in her mouth. can't even remember her name. i fired her/them two weeks later.

whoa. I was thoroughly unprepared for ANY of that.

James28 · « **Reply #9 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:26:35 PM »

In order to satisfy my sugar cravings I go to the sweets section, pick up a pack of marshmallows and sniff it lovingly.

Think the way the Arabs on here sniff a Nasser thong.

ESFitness · « **Reply #10 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:27:12 PM »

Quote from: Lobstah on February 03, 2014, 11:16:32 PM

whoa. I was thoroughly unprepared for ANY of that.

oh... I and I eat ice cream for breakfast.

I generally eat about 3-4 deep fried California rolls, 4-5 philly rolls, a couple dragon rolls, a couple crunchy rolls (baked preferably, with spicy mayo), about a couple dozen pieces of Bluefin, a dozen pieces of salmon, and a dozen pieces of unagi (eel) each week.

I eat generic mac n cheese everyday, sometimes twice a day.

I prefer generic mac n cheese to Kraft or velveta... I like the fake cheese.

I don't drink nearly enough water.

I drink about 10 cans of mt. dew a day.

I use paper plates and plastic bowls when eating at home by myself.

I have food in my freezer that I bought last year that I totally forgot about and am too lazy to throw away when I see it.

I'm honest about using 6g's a week, but deny putting any of it in my delts. lol.

Teutonic Knight · « **Reply #11 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:34:22 PM »

Quote from: LiftEaTsLeEpRePeAt on February 03, 2014, 10:26:20 PM

I eat ice cream from the container of which it is purchased

I hate U, my last ice cream was about 4 years ago

simply sucks.

James28 · « **Reply #12 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:35:57 PM »

Quote from: Teutonic Knight on February 03, 2014, 11:34:22 PM

I hate U, my last ice cream was about 4 years ago simply sucks.

Fucking LOVE ice cream man. But I gotta pace myself. The first one makes me feel guilty, once I'm over the guilt the 2nd one ain't half so bad. By the 4th once I'm laughing at the fact that I once cared about my 'diet' and decide to only eat ice cream from now on.

nzmusclemonster · « **Reply #13 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:37:49 PM »

At work a colleague and I have daily competitions on who can leave the most skid marks in a toilet after a dump.

James28 · « **Reply #14 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:40:32 PM »

Quote from: nzmusclemonster on February 03, 2014, 11:37:49 PM

At work a colleague and I have daily competitions on who can leave the most skid marks in a toilet after a dump.

Hey, you. I'll be a New Zealander soon. Any tips?

Teutonic Knight · « **Reply #15 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:43:24 PM »

Quote from: James28 on February 03, 2014, 11:35:57 PM

Fucking LOVE ice cream man. But I gotta pace myself. The first one makes me feel guilty, once I'm over the guilt the 2nd one ain't half so bad. By the 4th once I'm laughing at the fact that I once cared about my 'diet' and decide to only eat ice cream from now on.

Thanks 4 terrorizing me

nzmusclemonster · « **Reply #16 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:43:59 PM »

Quote from: James28 on February 03, 2014, 11:40:32 PM

Hey, you. I'll be a New Zealander soon. Any tips?

When you have sex with your first sheep, take it slow, enjoy it, savor the moment. You will cherish the memory.

James28 · « **Reply #17 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:46:51 PM »

Quote from: nzmusclemonster on February 03, 2014, 11:43:59 PM

When you have sex with your first sheep, take it slow, enjoy it, savor the moment. You will cherish the memory.

Noted down thank you. Would that be with an actual sheep or the women? Looking around the female supply in ChCh it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. Maybe I should've gone to Auckland after all $:-\$

POB · « **Reply #18 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:49:05 PM »

Quote from: nzmusclemonster on February 03, 2014, 11:43:59 PM

When you have sex with your first sheep, take it slow, enjoy it, savor the moment. You will cherish the memory.

If you do it at a cliff they actually back up

POB · « **Reply #19 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:49:51 PM »

Quote from: Big Chiro Flex on February 03, 2014, 10:31:36 PM

I NEVER wipe down machines, unless someone is watching me.

Wrong

nzmusclemonster · « **Reply #20 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:55:01 PM »

Quote from: James28 on February 03, 2014, 11:46:51 PM

Noted down thank you. Would that be with an actual sheep or the women? Looking around the female supply in ChCh it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. Maybe I should've gone to Auckland after all $:-\$

A woman? What the fuck! How did you get in NZ sicko.

Teutonic Knight · « **Reply #21 on:** February 04, 2014, 12:04:22 AM »

Quote from: nzmusclemonster on February 03, 2014, 11:43:59 PM

When you have sex with your first sheep, take it slow, enjoy it, savor the moment. You will cherish the memory.

U sound like Maori Chief of Aotearoa

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #22 on:** February 04, 2014, 12:53:19 AM »

Terminator three is one of my favorite movies....i love the termanatrix. When I think I'm alone walking down the street I pretend I'm her and try to turn my head side to side smoothly like her while walking. With a serious face like a terminator.

Its harder than it sounds.

BigCyp · « **Reply #23 on:** February 04, 2014, 01:19:28 AM »

Quote from: ESFitness on February 03, 2014, 10:58:29 PM

holy shit... this could go on forever.

I carpet-bomb plentyoffish and fuck short, cute, big tit chubby single moms, school teachers, bankers, real estate brokers, and convenience store cashiers on the first night... like 10-12 a month. (i have an actual gf now, though)

my home is a complete mess 90% of the time and i only clean it up if i have a girl coming over.

i judge the attractiveness and potential mate material of a woman based on the size of her calves and feet. (one must be big, the other small)

i keep baby wipes, mouthwash, and Viagra in the car. (i give myself 'cool points' if i can bang one girl, baby-wipe the pussy juice off my cock in the car, drive over and bang another girl in the same day... 3 a day is the record, 4 would be a logistical nightmare)

if no gf is in the house, i'll watch porn twice a day. can't start the day or go to bed w/o rubbing one out.... milf porn, mature porn, latina porn, bbw porn, brunette porn, ebony porn, Asian porn, CFNM porn, DP porn, gagging porn, or any combination.

I've fucked women i met on craigslist while their husbands/bf's watched for anywhere from $50 to $300.

i'll put bogus ad's on craigslist using ex-customers names & numbers. personals (of course. lol... cuckold stuff, ect), selling horse trailers, horses, miniature horses, emu's, various miniature/toy dogs, houses/rooms for rent, ect ect ect... these ex-customers are pieces of shit/assholes/bitches, not "regular" ex-customers. these fuck's have it coming.

i have a maid come to my house twice a week just to do my dishes because I'm too lazy.

I've fucked a maid once. 40-something Mexican lady, in my upstairs bathroom while her granddaughter vacuumed my living room downstairs. short, chubby with big heavy tits... could NOT deepthroat, so she didnt' get a tip. lol.... two hands on my sink, one foot up on the toilet with a hand towel in her mouth. can't even remember her name. i fired her/them two weeks later.

Good criteria. Cant stand thin/shapeless calves or big feet on a girl. Made sure to marry a woman with polar opposites of these things!

Cleanest Natural · « **Reply #24 on:** February 04, 2014, 01:34:10 AM »

ES Fitness.. have you posted a photo? I can't imagine eating like that and not being fat