Secrets to building muscle and losing weight and competing

[Man of Steel]

Building Muscle:

1) Go to a place with heavy things.
2) Lift the heavy things a bunch.
3) Go somewhere and eat meat.
4) Repeat a bunch.

Losing Weight:

1) Go to a place where you can move around fast.
2) Do that for a long time.
3) Eat less food than you normally eat.
4) Repeat a bunch.


Competing:

1) Buy muscle drugs.
2) Put muscle drugs in body.
3) Do stuff above.
4) Buy posing underwear and oil.
5) Go compete.

Is that it?

[magicuser]

nice!!!

Im throwing out 4000 page arnold book!

nothign about shmoe avoidance or pimpin in there tho

[Jaime]

Building Muscle:

1) Go to a place with heavy things.
2) Lift the heavy things a bunch.
3) Go somewhere and eat meat.
4) Repeat a bunch.

Losing Weight:

1) Go to a place where you can move around fast.
2) Do that for a long time.
3) Eat less food than you normally eat.
4) Repeat a bunch.


Competing:

1) Buy muscle drugs.
2) Put muscle drugs in body.
3) Do stuff above.
4) Buy posing underwear and oil.
5) Go compete.

Is that it?

Sleeping helps. Apart from that good summarisation.

[Coach is Back!]

1) Buy muscle drugs.
2) Put muscle drugs in body.

1) Go to a place with heavy things.
2) Lift the heavy things a bunch.
3) Go somewhere and eat meat.
4) Repeat a bunch.

Losing Weight:

1) Go to a place where you can move around fast.
2) Do that for a long time.
3) Eat less food than you normally eat.
4) Repeat a bunch.


Competing:


3) Do stuff above.
4) Buy posing underwear and oil.
5) Go compete.

Is that it?


Fixed!

[Man of Steel]

I was also made aware of the secret to winning a medal at the Olympics:

1) Be really good at something in the Olympics.
2) Tryout for the Olympics.
3) Make the Olympic team in the thing you're really good at.
4) Go to Olympics and do the thing you're really good at better than other people.
5) Get an Olympic medal.

[tendonitis]

and what's the secret to acquiring these muscle drugs you speak of?   

[Palpatine Q]

Unless there is a Smith machine in the gym.....avoid that.

Did you know all of your muscles wear little earpieces like security guards and if one of them sees a Smith machine,  he sends out the "don't grow" call over the radio ?. Its a scientifically proven fact

[Man of Steel]

and what's the secret to acquiring these muscle drugs you speak of?  

Acquiring muscle drugs:

1) Find a person selling muscle drugs.
2) Give them money for muscle drugs.

[Palpatine Q]

Acquiring muscle drugs:

1) Find a person selling muscle drugs.
2) Give them money for muscle drugs.

You are letting out some trade secrets here MOS.....I would watch my back if I were you

[tendonitis]

Acquiring muscle drugs:

1) Find a person selling muscle drugs.
2) Give them money for muscle drugs.

is it safe to assume the person selling the drugs will be the big guy at the gym wearing a fanny pack and carrying a gallon jug of water?

[newmom]

is it safe to assume the person selling the drugs will be the big guy at the gym wearing a fanny pack and carrying a gallon jug of water?

you're blowing the cover tendonitis..SHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH and don't forget about the nike or under armour gym bag...

[tendonitis]

you're blowing the cover tendonitis..SHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH and don't forget about the nike or under armour gym bag...

yeah, I've always suspected those under armour guys were up to no good

[newmom]

yeah, I've always suspected those under armour guys were up to no good

haha I almost tripped over this dudes bag, it was in the middle of the floor, he goes oh be careful lady. I said be careful of what, your water or the amps you got in there. He tucked his tail between his legs and moved it.

[Man of Steel]

You are letting out some trade secrets here MOS.....I would watch my back if I were you

It's time the world knew; although, noted on the back watching.

[TrueGrit]

It is irrefutable science that the louder you scream and the more people that actually stop to glance at you grunting , the bigger and faster your muscles grow.

[JasonH]

I pick things up and put them down.

[Palpatine Q]

It is irrefutable science that the louder you scream and the more people that actually stop to glance at you grunting , the bigger and faster your muscles grow.

I didn't know that...thanks.

Did you know that if your muscles see that you are training with 185 lbs of square metal attached to a cable they will send out the "don't grow' call over the radio ??

it HAS to be 185 lbs of round metal on a bar or you are wasting your time

[Zaphod]

1) Buy muscle drugs.
2) Put muscle drugs in body.

1) Go to a place with heavy things.
2) Lift the heavy things a bunch.
3) Go somewhere and eat meat.
4) Repeat a bunch.

Losing Weight:

1) Go to a place where you can move around fast.
2) Do that for a long time.
3) Eat less food than you normally eat.
4) Repeat a bunch.


Competing:


3) Do stuff above.
4) Buy posing underwear and oil.
5) Go compete.

Is that it?


Fixed!

Honestly I am saddened by your response Coach. You have been training people and working in gyms and this is the crop of wisdom that the seeds of your experience has sewn? We need more advanced theories that can explain true growth, and not catch all quick phrases that the unwashed masses here call "advice". When the floatsam that dwell is this pit of villany are washed clean by the power of truth and beauty, then and only then will this website manifest it's potential as a tool for instruction.

[TrueGrit]

I didn't know that...thanks.

Did you know that if your muscles see that you are training with 185 lbs of square metal attached to a cable they will send out the "don't grow' call over the radio ??

it HAS to be 185 lbs of round metal on a bar or you are wasting your time

Good to know bro.

The muscles come with an innate list of rules on how and when they can grow. Sometimes they desperately want to fire on the cables but the boss-man always sends back the "don't grow" message.

[TrueGrit]

Beanies, rolled up copies of Flex, mean mugging and gallon jugs aren't just visual clues to tell people you're hardcore..the muscles are actually watching you and if you aren't suitably dressed they won't grow for you.

[Coach is Back!]

Sorry Zaphoid but in bodybuilding that's the way is....unfortunatly.

[Figo]

It is irrefutable science that the louder you scream and the more people that actually stop to glance at you grunting , the bigger and faster your muscles grow.

I read that in Flex

[magicuser]

getbig.com should have its own non weider magazine

[Man of Steel]

Building biceps:

1) Go to place with heavy things.
2) Curl heavy things a lot.
3) Go someplace with meat and eat meat.
4) Repeat a lot.

[magicuser]

what about no jerking off while in cutting faze?