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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Radical Plato on October 12, 2012, 08:20:27 AM
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Oh Brother! How do you think this child murderer is going to fare in The Big House - I wonder if God will help him.
Guess the Race! Doesn't the bible also say something about "An Eye for an Eye"
A DeKalb County father says the Bible made him do it.
Benjamin Edetanlen was sentenced to 18 years in prison Wednesday for beating his 5-month-old son to death.
Edetanlen’s defense is that he adhered to Proverbs: 13, which taught him “Spare the rod. Spoil the child.” But prosecutors said he went too far and his discipline killed his 5-month-old child in his home in 2004.
Assistant District Attorney Dalia Racine said Edetanlen beat his 5-month-old, his 2-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son, and used the Bible to justify it.
“The defendant stated that he disciplined the children, according to the book of Proverbs in the Bible,” Racine argued in court.
Prosecutors said the boy died from blunt force trauma. He suffered brain injuries and a broken leg. Edetanlen’s attorney told the court his client loves his children.
“Mr. Edetanlen firmly believed in the adage, you know, spare the rod and spoil the child,” defense attorney Ingrid McGaughey said.
Edetanlen faced murder charges. He pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of involuntary manslaughter and several counts of child cruelty,
“We are asking for 18 years to serve,” Racine said, and the judge agreed.
Edetanlen was ordered to stay away from his other two children once he is released from prison.
His wife faces a charge after she allegedly did nothing to stop the abuse.
http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/dekalb-dad-gets-18-years-for-bible-inspired-fatal-/nSbL2/ (http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/dekalb-dad-gets-18-years-for-bible-inspired-fatal-/nSbL2/)
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That is the same scripture that is the basis for how I discipline my children, but mine equates out to 3 warnings resulting in a very measured smack on the backside with a wooden spoon / or i'll smack their behind with my hand.
Never when i'm angry, NEVER out of proportion. I mean for fucks sake what is wrong with this animal, you discipline your kids because how deeply you love them and want them to be obedient and grow into respectable children. not fucking beat them to death what the hell. That has just pissed me right off.
If I knew the guy I would beat him to death with the biggest hardback king james bible I could find :'(
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Seriously what the fuck?
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5 month old can barely crawl, what could they do to need discipline?
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5 month old can barely crawl, what could they do to need discipline?
Exactly!!! They cannot even grasp discipline or rules or behavior then. There not even eating solid food yet!
Dude should be killed.
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Colores
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He should be stoned to death. Spare the stones, spoil the murderer, as they old adage goes.
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black is as black does
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What's even more pathetic is how is lawyer tried to use the bible as a defense ::) ::)
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The evil book.
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5 MONTHS.
Seriously, the most my son did wrong at that age was drop his bloody teddy. What kind of disgusting defense could they possibly use to reduce that setence?
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He should be stoned to death. Spare the stones, spoil the murderer, as they old adage goes.
ROFL ;D
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ROFL ;D
"Spare the cardio, spare the improvement"
(Tbombz)
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5 MONTHS.
Seriously, the most my son did wrong at that age was drop his bloody teddy. What kind of disgusting defense could they possibly use to reduce that setence?
Don't want to infuriate hard line right-wing christian voters, if you're the D.A., now do you?
Murder is wrong, but if you were an elected official, wouldn't you have a hard time taking a hard line stance against this defence? Wouldn't you be dismissing the bible's teachings, in the eyes of the fundamentalist right wing christian? Of which there are many, particularly in the south?
Again...take off your current lenses. Pretend you're an elected official who's concerned not always with the law, but how your consitituents want you interpreting the law and punishing who they feel is guilty...because that's what you do if you like your job and want it for another term in office.
Personally, I say hang the guy from a tree and throw heavy shit at him til he's dead. Then set him on fire. Then ship pieces of his burned and broken body to every child molester to let them know they're next if they keep it up. But, I have a certain "tone" about me that liberals don't always agree with.
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That is the same scripture that is the basis for how I discipline my children, but mine equates out to 3 warnings resulting in a very measured smack on the backside with a wooden spoon / or i'll smack their behind with my hand.
Never when i'm angry, NEVER out of proportion. I mean for fucks sake what is wrong with this animal, you discipline your kids because how deeply you love them and want them to be obedient and grow into respectable children. not fucking beat them to death what the hell. That has just pissed me right off.
If I knew the guy I would beat him to death with the biggest hardback king james bible I could find :'(
Words to live by.
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Don't want to infuriate hard line right-wing christian voters, if you're the D.A., now do you?
Murder is wrong, but if you were an elected official, wouldn't you have a hard time taking a hard line stance against this defence? Wouldn't you be dismissing the bible's teachings, in the eyes of the fundamentalist right wing christian? Of which there are many, particularly in the south?
Again...take off your current lenses. Pretend you're an elected official who's concerned not always with the law, but how your consitituents want you interpreting the law and punishing who they feel is guilty...because that's what you do if you like your job and want it for another term in office.
Personally, I say hang the guy from a tree and throw heavy shit at him til he's dead. Then set him on fire. Then ship pieces of his burned and broken body to every child molester to let them know they're next if they keep it up. But, I have a certain "tone" about me that liberals don't always agree with.
No I totally agree man, votes over justice every time. I even see this on a tiny level in local government/village councils etc it's pathetic.
Lol at 'certain tone about me'! We would get on well haha
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If I knew the guy I would beat him to death with the biggest hardback king james bible I could find :'(
Bible Basher! ;D
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No I totally agree man, votes over justice every time. I even see this on a tiny level in local government/village councils etc it's pathetic.
Lol at 'certain tone about me'! We would get on well haha
Bingo my friend! Politics suck ass.
Here's the kicker...right now we see this leniency for hardline christians. What happens when muslim integration into american society reaches a critical mass great enough to affect judicial decision making?
Will we then see leniency for muslim men who marry a dozen pre-teens and beat them for attracting a glance from another man?
I get it that not all muslims are fundamentalist muslims and most are social beings. But we all know that politicians overly-respond to vocal minority groups. So what happens when that vocal minority becomes a little less "minority" and strengthens its numbers...enough to line the pockets of the local politico?
I'm not saying breed out the fundamentalists (I just think they're all bat-shit crazy and stupid). I'm saying justice should have no room for religion, or god. It is law. It is right and wrong. Not by what a god, or a religious text says. It is by what society deems necessary. And by a society as a whole...not by minority groups who would seek to impose their beliefs.
Here's an exercise in logic: if a baby-killer can get 18 years by inciting the wrath of fundamentalist right-wing christians, why can't I also abuse the "eye for an eye" motto of those same fundamentalists? Does their old testament not feature this? Or do I have stay stuck in the new testament and turn the other cheek? Which book can I use to get my way? Or can I just choose when it's convenient for me.
The whole judicial system is broken. But then, hasn't it always been? Money, power, political influence...nothing to do with justice and everything to do with manipulation and agendas.
Yes my friend...we would have many stories to tell over a nice ale and some sandwiches at the pub.
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Wise words snx.
Yes the biggest danger to the western world right now is not terrorism, but powers that are beyond our sight that are trying to get us to weave our own web, which will eventually tangle us as well.
Religious extremists are dangerous no matter the religion.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2167755/Smacking-children-increases-chances-mental-illness-later-say-scientists.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2167755/Smacking-children-increases-chances-mental-illness-later-say-scientists.html)
"Adults who were hit or smacked as children face higher odds of mental health problems, including mood and anxiety disorders and problems with alcohol and drug abuse, researchers say.
The study is the first to examine the link between psychological problems and spanking while excluding more severe abuse in order to better gauge the effect of corporal punishment alone.
Those who were hit as children were between two and seven per cent more likely to encounter mental issues later, according to the study from the University of Manitoba in Canada."
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In before anecdotes about how people were smacked as kids and grew up just fine to become responsible tax paying citizens.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2167755/Smacking-children-increases-chances-mental-illness-later-say-scientists.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2167755/Smacking-children-increases-chances-mental-illness-later-say-scientists.html)
"Adults who were hit or smacked as children face higher odds of mental health problems, including mood and anxiety disorders and problems with alcohol and drug abuse, researchers say.
The study is the first to examine the link between psychological problems and spanking while excluding more severe abuse in order to better gauge the effect of corporal punishment alone.
Those who were hit as children were between two and seven per cent more likely to encounter mental issues later, according to the study from the University of Manitoba in Canada."
I wonder, then, how many bodybuilders were smacked as kids...
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In before anecdotes about how people were smacked as kids and grew up just fine to become responsible tax paying citizens.
It always goes there doesn't it.
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In before anecdotes about how people were smacked as kids and grew up just fine to become responsible tax paying citizens.
I was spanked as a child and I turned out just fine. Although I did have a period of substance abuse. But that was more related to my party days and playing in a band than it was to some sort of psychological problem.
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using the bible as an excuse to beat your children is pathetic. do you beat your dogs as well?
fucking christians.
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I was never beat as a child. And I'd never forgive some bastard that would even if you call them mother or father. Do you hit your dogs too?
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There's no verse that says "Spare the rod; spoil the child." The passage in Proverbs 13 (verse 24) reads:
He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Anyone with a grain of sense knows that this hardly applies TO AN INFANT. Plus, with OT verses in the Bible, people often make the mistake of "son", referring only to children. Men lived with their fathers for YEARS after becoming adults (age 20), until they got married.
Discipline means the appropriate punishment for an offense.
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There's no verse that says "Spare the rod; spoil the child." The passage in Proverbs 13 (verse 24) reads:
He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Anyone with a grain of sense knows that this hardly applies TO AN INFANT. Plus, with OT verses in the Bible, people often make the mistake of "son", referring only to children. Men lived with their fathers for YEARS after becoming adults (age 20), until they got married.
Discipline means the appropriate punishment for an offense.
I always thought that looking for parenting advice in ancient scriptures is a bad idea in general. A lot of things have changed since then.
But if you insist on doing this whole Bible version of reality, I might as well go get myself a personal slave.
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I was never beat as a child. And I'd never forgive some bastard that would even if you call them mother or father. Do you hit your dogs too?
amen.
i was, friends of mine were...we're all fucked up to some degree.
i've NEVER hit my kids..one is nearly 18, the other is 8;. Both are great kids. well adjusted, trustworthy, honest...and they know right from wrong.
physical discipline is a complete joke. its an excuse to justify not using your brain, or you being unable to control your emotions.
study after study has been done to discredit physical punishment. its amazing people still say "well im ok"...good for you!
For every 1 person who was physically disciplined and it wasnt a problem, there are a thousand who went the other way.
my dad did it cos it was from his generation,..all it did was make me store up "payback"...i hear no different from others.
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amen.
i was, friends of mine were...we're all fucked up to some degree.
i've NEVER hit my kids..one is nearly 18, the other is 8;. Both are great kids. well adjusted, trustworthy, honest...and they know right from wrong.
physical discipline is a complete joke. its an excuse to justify not using your brain, or you being unable to control your emotions.
study after study has been done to discredit physical punishment. its amazing people still say "well im ok"...good for you!
For every 1 person who was physically disciplined and it wasnt a problem, there are a thousand who went the other way.
my dad did it cos it was from his generation,..all it did was make me store up "payback"...i hear no different from others.
Im assuming your talking about actual physical harm and not a spanking.
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Im assuming your talking about actual physical harm and not a spanking.
oh, there;'s a difference?
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oh, there;'s a difference?
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Yes. A rather large distinction. One causes no harm and barely hurts.
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let me make it easier for you.
if I hit my kids and caused them any harm whatsoever, i'd be ashamed of myself and feel extreme guilt.
im there to keep them harm free and safe.
thats the one and only reason you use force...
anyone who hits their kids will strongly disagree with me im sure... you have to live with yourself and sleep at night..so get into an internet fight with me and your conscience.
if you hit your kids/wife then you are a loser. period.
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I have no problem with physical discipline, but how could a 5 month old conceivably misbehave. All they're capable of is shitting, sleeping, crying, puking, the occasional farts but mostly shit, and some cooing and cawing.
Piece of fucking shit.
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Using the bible as a defense is like me killing somebody and claiming it was a "sacrifice to the gods" based on some old book of mythology/superstition (which is no different than the bible).
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let me make it easier for you.
if I hit my kids and caused them any harm whatsoever, i'd be ashamed of myself and feel extreme guilt.
im there to keep them harm free and safe.
thats the one and only reason you use force...
anyone who hits their kids will strongly disagree with me im sure... you have to live with yourself and sleep at night..so get into an internet fight with me and your conscience.
if you hit your kids/wife then you are a loser. period.
Again, hitting and spanking are 2 different things. But whatever floats your boat bromosexual.
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Yes. A rather large distinction. One causes no harm and barely hurts.
Didn't I just cite a study in this thread that challenges that view?
How can you possibly justify spanking a child when you know more than well that millions and millions of parents out there manage to raise their kids with no physical punishment whatsoever? If others can do it, then so can you. There is NO EXCUSE. NONE.
Do you hit dogs as well?
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Didn't I just cite a study in this thread that challenges that view?
How can you possibly justify spanking a child when you know more than well that millions and millions of parents out there manage to raise their kids with no physical punishment whatsoever? If others can do it, then so can you. There is NO EXCUSE. NONE.
Do you hit dogs as well?
I remember being spanked only twice - and thats all it took. It was only when I broke rules that extremely endangered myself, and guess what, I never did them again. The spanking didnt even hurt all that bad.
I laughed at being stuck in a corner in time out, or any of those kind of things. Different kids require different kinds of parenting.
So please, don't try to lecture me with your wealth of parenting knowledge on what works and what doesn't.
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I remember being spanked only twice - and thats all it took. It was only when I broke rules that extremely endangered myself, and guess what, I never did them again. I laughed at being stuck in a corner in time out, or any of those kind of things. Different kids require different kinds of parenting. So please, don't try to lecture me with your wealth of parenting knowledge.
Ah here we go again with anecdotes. Me and my sister were brought up with no spanking whatsoever and we've both turned out alright. See how easy that is? All of us, no matter what kind of parenting we come from can play that game and make all sorts of claims. Pathetic. You haven't justified spanking in the slightest and you know it.
You used to have a drug problem but not anymore, right? See folks, it's OK to use hardcore drugs because Shockwave here did and ended up just fine.
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Ah here we go again with anecdotes. Me and my sister were brought up with no spanking whatsoever and we've both turned out alright. See how easy that is? All of us, no matter what kind of parenting we come from can play that game and make all sorts of claims. Pathetic. You haven't justified spanking in the slightest and you know it.
You used to have a drug problem but not anymore, right? See folks, it's OK to use hardcore drugs because Shockwave here did and ended up just fine.
WTF are you talking about? I said, I was spanked both times, and both times it needed to be done, as I literally did not give a shit about the other punishments. I knew the rules and I broke them. Why? Because I could.
I was a child that needed to have that kind of discipline. Some children do - some don't. You're trying to lump every one of them together because "Its how you were raised". Newsflash - not everyone is the same there genius.
As for my drug problem, fucking retarded comparison. But way to try and look at the world as black and white, you have the mentality of a child.
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My dad used to whip me with his belt, kick me, and shove me into walls until I hit around age 14 and started lifting weights and playing football. It was not very good. Seeing as how he's a coward, and couldn't bully me and take out his life's anger on me (there were many reasons for it, I'm sure, none of them justified) when I got older, we just simply drifted apart and had nothing to really say to each other. We faked liking each other as we got older to keep up appearances and bring civility to family get-togethers.
I can't spank my kids because of my childhood. I'm actually revolted by the idea and am still fearful of my poor old gray haired dad to this day. He couldn't swat a fly now, but all he has to do is raise his voice and I get scared. I've long since stopped hating him, but now, mostly I just find his presence distasteful and intolerable. And yes, I'm still scared of him. We're all little boys deep down inside, when we see ourselves reflected in our father's eyes, and our fathers are always, and will always be, giants. You can't erase the imprinting phase of childhood. When you learn to hate your father, you learn the most devastating emotions of all...the realization that the only man in your life who had real potential to be a hero, was a huge letdown and a cancer on your life. It does callous the heart with unbelievably remarkable precision. But, we all need to learn to deal with a callous at some point, don't we?
But, I will refuse to judge any parent who does or doesn't spank. Just make sure when you do it, you do it with a measured hand and that your child understands your true intentions and your love for them. I think it's hard to do that when you spank them, but I'm won't judge a parent. A spanking is far from being the worst thing a parent can do to a child.
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But, I will refuse to judge any parent who does or doesn't spank. Just make sure when you do it, you do it with a measured hand and that your child understands your true intentions and your love for them. I think it's hard to do that when you spank them, but I'm won't judge a parent. A spanking is far from being the worst thing a parent can do to a child.
This is exactly how my father did it. There was no malice, it was done because I needed to understand my actions would have consequences, and the normal methods of punishment simply didn't work on me.
Spanking, IMHO, is reserved for the most severe situations when no other punishment would work. If my son learns to respect and obey the rules through normal punishment, great. If he doesn't, and I have to spank him, Im going to.
There is a huge difference between physical abuse and a swat on the ass.
My dad used to whip me with his belt, kick me, and shove me into walls until I hit around age 14 and started lifting weights and playing football. It was not very good. Seeing as how he's a coward, and couldn't bully me and take out his life's anger on me
This... is abuse. And there is never a justification for action like this.
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5 month old can barely crawl, what could they do to need discipline?
lol.. well, i can think of somethings.. for example: crying all night.. or interupting people who are having a conversation.. you could benefit the child by giving a bit of discipline in these scenarios..
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oh fuck, that's a depressing story :(
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WTF are you talking about? I said, I was spanked both times, and both times it needed to be done, as I literally did not give a shit about the other punishments. I knew the rules and I broke them. Why? Because I could.
I was a child that needed to have that kind of discipline. Some children do - some don't. You're trying to lump every one of them together because "Its how you were raised". Newsflash - not everyone is the same there genius.
As for my drug problem, fucking retarded comparison. But way to try and look at the world as black and white, you have the mentality of a child.
My point was that anecdotes are pretty much worthless in these contexts, not to make a perfect analogy with child abuse. What works for you might not work for me and vice versa, you're right about that, but my view is that it's been well established by now that it's fully possible to raise kids without resorting to physical means even if the kid is being a brat. When that fact is obvious, why not do everything in your power to not spank your child?
For a lot of people physically harming(don't try to sugarcoat it, why would you spank someone if it doesn't cause pain?) your own child is a sacred line you just don't cross and secondly, more and more research is showing that spanking can/will have negative side effects which is way more persuasive than mere anecdotes. Also another thing to consider is that people have very different opinions of what exactly a "spanking" entails. Just don't cross the line at all, I say.
I'm not intent on being a complete dick here by indirectly insulting your parents, but if you had gotten to the point where the only option was being spanked then perhaps there were other things that could have been done prior to that? I have a hard time believing that someone was born to do really stupid and dangerous stuff and then suddenly snap out of it just because he/she was spanked. Again, my intent is not to insult your parents.
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I'm not intent on being a complete dick here by indirectly insulting your parents, but if you had gotten to the point where the only option was being spanked then perhaps there were other things that could have been done prior to that? I have a hard time believing that someone was born to do really stupid and dangerous stuff and then suddenly snap out of it just because he/she was spanked. Again, my intent is not to insult your parents.
I was the kind of child that would always push the envelope, too see just how far I could push it before I reached that line. For me, being spanked was the line. I didn't care about being grounded, being stuck in the corner, etc. I just did not care. But being spanked was the line.
And it wasn't about the pain, the pain was practically nothing. It was the fact that I had pushed my parents that far that they had to resort to this to make me understand the consequences of my actions.
As far as the "being born to do stupid and dangerous stuff", I think you're discounting alot of genetics right there. I remember reading several studies with solid evidence that certain personality traits were passed down genetically, including those that may cause people to do "stupid and dangerous" stuff.
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lol.. well, i can think of somethings.. for example: crying all night.. or interupting people who are having a conversation.. you could benefit the child by giving a bit of discipline in these scenarios..
Your conversations are often interrupted by 5 month old children?
And you do realize that children cry as a primary form of communication with adults, right? That's what you do when you don't know how to talk.
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Your conversations are often interrupted by 5 month old children?
And you do realize that children cry as a primary form of communication with adults, right? That's what you do when you don't know how to talk.
Damn infant shouldn't have been interrupting me. I was perfectly justified in raining down hooks on his candy ass.
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Humans will beat, kill, torture, destroy - aaaaaaall in the name of God/Allah.....
Wonderfull race we are... ::)
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I was the kind of child that would always push the envelope, too see just how far I could push it before I reached that line. For me, being spanked was the line. I didn't care about being grounded, being stuck in the corner, etc. I just did not care. But being spanked was the line.
And it wasn't about the pain, the pain was practically nothing. It was the fact that I had pushed my parents that far that they had to resort to this to make me understand the consequences of my actions.
As far as the "being born to do stupid and dangerous stuff", I think you're discounting alot of genetics right there. I remember reading several studies with solid evidence that certain personality traits were passed down genetically, including those that may cause people to do "stupid and dangerous" stuff.
I can definitely believe that genetics play a role in determining someones personality, in fact I'd be surprised if that wasn't the case. But what would surprise me even more is if that particular innate "bad" personality could be fully suppressed by a mere spanking. That's what I'm questioning. Either genetics had a big influence on your personality, or they didn't. I'd argue for the latter if a somewhat gentle and loving spanking got rid of it.
Anyways, it's all speculation.
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I can definitely believe that genetics play a role in determining someones personality, in fact I'd be surprised if that wasn't the case. But what would surprise me even more is if that particular innate "bad" personality could be fully suppressed by a mere spanking. That's what I'm questioning. Either genetics had a big influence on your personality, or they didn't. I'd argue for the latter if a somewhat gentle and loving spanking got rid of it.
Anyways, it's all speculation.
The spanking didn't rid me of that personality at all. As evidenced by my history of chasing adrenaline and my substance abuse issues. What it did do, was make me respect my parents rules enough for them to know that I wouldn't put myself in high risk situations as a child. Most of my REAL craziness started after I was older.
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Our killer
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A lot of stupid people in this thread who can't see the difference between controlled spanking as a form of discipline, and beating a child.
It hurts more than spanking, when a kid grows up without the small sting of discipline and gets smashed in the face by the real world instead.
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Our killer
Looks a lot happier than I thought a person would appear after being charged in an infant's death. :-X
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the bottom line is: if you hit your kids, you're a coward.
This piece of shit will get what's coming to him when he gets to prison, even while he's sitting in county jail awaiting trial (or even bail), he's a trophy-target. There's a lot of guys with 15, 20, 30 yr sentences that'll gladly put a lock in a sock and turn his face into a pumkin.
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A lot of stupid people in this thread who can't see the difference between controlled spanking as a form of discipline, and beating a child.
It hurts more than spanking, when a kid grows up without the small sting of discipline and gets smashed in the face by the real world instead.
It's not that I don't see the difference, I definitely do. But that doesn't make spanking any more right. It's a matter of principle, either you use physical means to raise your child, or you don't. Even if it wasn't a matter of principle and just a matter of what's more likely to benefit the child, you still have yet to prove that spanking provides greater benefits compared to other proactive ways of parenting.
It hurts more than spanking, when a kid grows up without the small sting of discipline and gets smashed in the face by the real world instead.
So according to you, children who have been spanked by their parents get a special pass in life. Intriguing.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2167755/Smacking-children-increases-chances-mental-illness-later-say-scientists.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2167755/Smacking-children-increases-chances-mental-illness-later-say-scientists.html)
"Adults who were hit or smacked as children face higher odds of mental health problems, including mood and anxiety disorders and problems with alcohol and drug abuse, researchers say.
The study is the first to examine the link between psychological problems and spanking while excluding more severe abuse in order to better gauge the effect of corporal punishment alone.
Those who were hit as children were between two and seven per cent more likely to encounter mental issues later, according to the study from the University of Manitoba in Canada."
::)
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lol.. well, i can think of somethings.. for example: crying all night.. or interupting people who are having a conversation.. you could benefit the child by giving a bit of discipline in these scenarios..
Are you joking tbombz? If a baby is crying then you go to it and see what is wrong. Maybe it's nappy is wet, maybe its hungry...maybe it just needs comfort/a cuddle.
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5 month old can barely crawl, what could they do to need discipline?
Hire an internet guru.
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Looks a lot happier than I thought a person would appear after being charged in an infant's death. :-X
X 2 If any of my kids were dead I dont think I could go one with life let alone be smiling in court.
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Wow! Good thread, I had no idea it was going to turn into a childhood confession on the way getbiggers were raised. I find the topic of childhood discipline/abuse deeply personal. I appreciate others being honest about their childhood's and the way they feel about the issue. My father was an old school English father, very stoical with a ferocious temper, yet my mother was a very caring individual with a balanced measured way about her, my mother never snapped and lost complete control, the same couldn't be said for my father.
I have two brothers and two sisters, and my Mum started discipline from a young age with paddling on the arse and reserving a wooden spoon for more serious offences, the thing is, my two older brothers and I soon grew quickly and Mum's discipline didn't seem to have an effect on us, so she handed the role of discipline over to my father, and he was brutal. Me being the type to push boundaries attracted the most physical punishment, and my father was careful to not always punch, but he would slap you around, slap you anywhere on your body, from a young age he used to leave welt marks at different points on my body, I remember being embarrassed, because my dad's hand print would be left on my body and it would swell, become bright red and be sore and visible for days. His violence progressed, one day hitting me in the legs with a cricket bat and as a teenager he once beat me down, slapped, punched and kicked me while I lay in the foetal position as he wailed away on me. The funny thing is, I rarely remember what triggered the punishment, what I remember most is the absolute rage he would inflict the punishment with, he would absolutely lose control, and be lost in a hateful rage.
I remember one day when i was about 10 or 11, I confronted my Mother and told her I wasn't going to school that day because I was going to the police Station to report Dad (I think I had just had enough), and my Mother simply told me that if I did that, the Police would lock me up and I would be sent away to a Boys Home - so much for that idea. Anyway, the abuse continued until I left home at the age 15, and I can honestly say it had a deep negative impact on my life.
After all the children left home and my parents retired, my Mum and Dad would fight a lot, and even though my Dad tempered his Physical abuse as he got older, he would still rant and rave and be verbally and emotionally abusive towards my Mother. He would often threaten her with physical abuse or to kill her (it wasn't just us kids he gave a hard time), he abused my Mum as well, some of which i didn't find out until later on and my older bothers would tell me about it.)
Anyway, My Mother finally separated from him after 43 years of Marriage, she was literally afraid for her life and desperate to get out of the relationship, even though she deeply believed in till death do you part. Anyway, my Dad now lives alone, doesn't want anything to do with anybody, denies, justifies or minimizes the abuse while my Mum wonders to herself why she let it go on for so long. I think I would have had no problems had the discipline stayed in the realm of what my Mother used to dish out, because like most young boys I had a strong emotional connection with my Mother, her discipline was balanced by her love and caring, but in the case of my father, as he was a workaholic and not really the emotional type (except for rage), none of the kids developed a connection to him, and his regular brutality and rage just came across pure rage and sadistic.
I definitely don't believe in physical discipline with children, but I understand how hard it is for adults to deal with juvenile behaviour. My girlfriends daughter once kicked me really hard in the knee while she was laying down and her mother and I were trying to lecture her about some bad behaviour she had displayed, as an instinctual response I slapped her on the leg and incurred the wrath of my girlfriend, I felt really bad about the incident and apologised to both my girlfriend and her daughter, it literally was a instinctual knee jerk response, I think from being hit so many times you develop a reflex action to strike back (well I did anyway).
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child sounds good in theory, but I think it has the potential to get way out of hand, I personally would have preferred my Parents taking the time to talk at length to me about my behaviour and to do their best to convey that they cared about me and loved me while trying to make me understand why my behaviour was unacceptable and inappropriate, but the sad thing was, anything could have triggered my Father, it became more about him having a bad day than anything the children did wrong. Long Post, but like I said, it is a personal topic to me and one that still has an impact many many years later.
TL;DR;FY;AH
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TL;DR;FY;AH
AH?
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Wow! Good thread, I had no idea it was going to turn into a childhood confession on the way getbiggers were raised. I find the topic of childhood discipline/abuse deeply personal. I appreciate others being honest about their childhood's and the way they feel about the issue. My father was an old school English father, very stoical with a ferocious temper, yet my mother was a very caring individual with a balanced measured way about her, my mother never snapped and lost complete control, the same couldn't be said for my father.
I have two brothers and two sisters, and my Mum started discipline from a young age with paddling on the arse and reserving a wooden spoon for more serious offences, the thing is, my two older brothers and I soon grew quickly and Mum's discipline didn't seem to have an effect on us, so she handed the role of discipline over to my father, and he was brutal. Me being the type to push boundaries attracted the most physical punishment, and my father was careful to not always punch, but he would slap you around, slap you anywhere on your body, from a young age he used to leave welt marks at different points on my body, I remember being embarrassed, because my dad's hand print would be left on my body and it would swell, become bright red and be sore and visible for days. His violence progressed, one day hitting me in the legs with a cricket bat and as a teenager he once beat me down, slapped, punched and kicked me while I lay in the foetal position as he wailed away on me. The funny thing is, I rarely remember what triggered the punishment, what I remember most is the absolute rage he would inflict the punishment with, he would absolutely lose control, and be lost in a hateful rage.
I remember one day when i was about 10 or 11, I confronted my Mother and told her I wasn't going to school that day because I was going to the police Station to report Dad (I think I had just had enough), and my Mother simply told me that if I did that, the Police would lock me up and I would be sent away to a Boys Home - so much for that idea. Anyway, the abuse continued until I left home at the age 15, and I can honestly say it had a deep negative impact on my life.
After all the children left home and my parents retired, my Mum and Dad would fight a lot, and even though my Dad tempered his Physical abuse as he got older, he would still rant and rave and be verbally and emotionally abusive towards my Mother. He would often threaten her with physical abuse or to kill her (it wasn't just us kids he gave a hard time), he abused my Mum as well, some of which i didn't find out until later on and my older bothers would tell me about it.)
Anyway, My Mother finally separated from him after 43 years of Marriage, she was literally afraid for her life and desperate to get out of the relationship, even though she deeply believed in till death do you part. Anyway, my Dad now lives alone, doesn't want anything to do with anybody, denies, justifies or minimizes the abuse while my Mum wonders to herself why she let it go on for so long. I think I would have had no problems had the discipline stayed in the realm of what my Mother used to dish out, because like most young boys I had a strong emotional connection with my Mother, her discipline was balanced by her love and caring, but in the case of my father, as he was a workaholic and not really the emotional type (except for rage), none of the kids developed a connection to him, and his regular brutality and rage just came across pure rage and sadistic.
I definitely don't believe in physical discipline with children, but I understand how hard it is for adults to deal with juvenile behaviour. My girlfriends daughter once kicked me really hard in the knee while she was laying down and her mother and I were trying to lecture her about some bad behaviour she had displayed, as an instinctual response I slapped her on the leg and incurred the wrath of my girlfriend, I felt really bad about the incident and apologised to both my girlfriend and her daughter, it literally was a instinctual knee jerk response, I think from being hit so many times you develop a reflex action to strike back (well I did anyway).
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child sounds good in theory, but I think it has the potential to get way out of hand, I personally would have preferred my Parents taking the time to talk at length to me about my behaviour and to do their best to convey that they cared about me and loved me while trying to make me understand why my behaviour was unacceptable and inappropriate, but the sad thing was, anything could have triggered my Father, it became more about him having a bad day than anything the children did wrong. Long Post, but like I said, it is a personal topic to me and one that still has an impact many many years later.
I don't know what to say E Kul. This is horrible.
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AH?
Ass Hole :)
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I dont know what the fuck is going on nowadays as more and more we are hearing of parents killing there children. we are getting to the point of being no better than the pakis killing their newborn baby because its a gir. I dont oppose a smacked leg or backside but find it very hard to do without feeling bad how someone can beat their baby to death is beyond belief.
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I dont know what the fuck is going on nowadays as more and more we are hearing of parents killing there children. we are getting to the point of being no better than the pakis killing their newborn baby because its a gir. I dont oppose a smacked leg or backside but find it very hard to do without feeling bad how someone can beat their baby to death is beyond belief.
This... Did this things always happen and we just didn't hear about them because of a less connected world, or is there something in the water?!?
Look a this story (http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/national-international/Mom-Who-Glued-Daughter-to-Wall-Sentenced-to-99-Years--173901041.html)about a "mother" that kicked her daughter in the stomach, beat her with a milk jug and then super-glued her hands to the wall. The little girl suffered bruises and bite marks, fractured ribs, bleeding in the brain and was left in a coma for a few days.
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Looks a lot happier than I thought a person would appear after being charged in an infant's death. :-X
Remember in his world, all is justified in the name of God... Thats why hes smiling.
He thinks he did the right thing and that "God" will take care of him. Deulsional moron at its best.
Some people I swear.....
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This... Did this things always happen and we just didn't hear about them because of a less connected world, or is there something in the water?!?
Look a this story (http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/national-international/Mom-Who-Glued-Daughter-to-Wall-Sentenced-to-99-Years--173901041.html)about a "mother" that kicked her daughter in the stomach, beat her with a milk jug and then super-glued her hands to the wall. The little girl suffered bruises and bite marks, fractured ribs, bleeding in the brain and was left in a coma for a few days.
Good point im not sure which it is all I know is we are hearing of these things more and more often it is sad turn of events and it feels at times that modern society has far more than its fair share of child killers and vile peodofiles. I dont allow my 5 year old son to play out yet when I was five we were never in the house, the fact tgat they need to lock all the gates and doors during school time aays it all