Author Topic: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.  (Read 10822 times)

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #175 on: March 22, 2022, 08:36:18 AM »
I'd ask the hostess to sit us in the back with the coloured folk.



Impromptu dinner-date with Goodrum.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #176 on: March 22, 2022, 11:09:13 AM »
James Corden is a fat annoying bastard. I'd love to boot his tits over his shoulders.

100%

I don't understand why everyone doesn't feel like this - I can't put my finger on it, but he's absolutely unbearable

I think that, subconsciously at least, at the heart of it is that old saying that fat people are always friendly - because they can't fight and they can't run away

And he's taken it to a nauseating extreme... :-X
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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #177 on: March 22, 2022, 09:33:41 PM »
100%

I don't understand why everyone doesn't feel like this - I can't put my finger on it, but he's absolutely unbearable

I think that, subconsciously at least, at the heart of it is that old saying that fat people are always friendly - because they can't fight and they can't run away

And he's taken it to a nauseating extreme... :-X

Yes!

He exudes a pitiful combination of desperation and insecurity in all that he does. A lot of these porkers are the same - always trying to demonstrate that they possess a singing voice or some similar trivial attribute that they think should save them from society's trashcan. As a result, all of their interactions with others appear somewhat inauthentic and contrived because their brains are always in 'panic' mode. And, of course, once they're panicked, the only thing that will calm them down is pancakes and Dr Pepper.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #178 on: April 04, 2022, 02:21:24 AM »
Holy fuck, that final episode of Peaky Blinders was awesome. I was hating the first few episodes, but then it became this very dark and moody slow burn where you could tell it was leading up to something special. All the themes of regret, and time, and loss - it was awesome. And the cinematography was incredible. That scene with Arthur and Jeremiah masking up was probably the coolest scene of the entire show.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #179 on: April 09, 2022, 09:47:19 AM »
'Brutal if true' is starting to affect my real life. Even when I get WhatsApp messages from work regarding serious incidents and important updates, it takes every fibre of my being to resist replying with 'brutal if true.'

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #180 on: April 10, 2022, 03:03:48 AM »
'Brutal if true' is starting to affect my real life. Even when I get WhatsApp messages from work regarding serious incidents and important updates, it takes every fibre of my being to resist replying with 'brutal if true.'

Mate - I've lost count of the times I've almost posted a GetBig style (i.e. honest) response to something out there in 'the real world' and then realised at the last second - what the fuck am I doing? LOL

The one I'm most tempted to employ in totally despicable situations is, "would hit"  Even... no.... especially when I don't actually mean it!

Thousands of years ago, before I found GetBig, there was a website called ChristWire, where Poe's Law ruled - it was my first attempt at trolling people - deeply enjoyable
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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #181 on: April 11, 2022, 10:44:22 AM »
Mate - I've lost count of the times I've almost posted a GetBig style (i.e. honest) response to something out there in 'the real world' and then realised at the last second - what the fuck am I doing? LOL

The one I'm most tempted to employ in totally despicable situations is, "would hit"  Even... no.... especially when I don't actually mean it!

Thousands of years ago, before I found GetBig, there was a website called ChristWire, where Poe's Law ruled - it was my first attempt at trolling people - deeply enjoyable

Do you remember the halcyon days of Yahoo Answers when it had a green format? I started a massive race-war between Blacks and Asians on there and it lasted for years. I went down as a trolling legend by the end of it and had fans messaging me for a long time after, lol. Sounds brutally pathetic when I actually admit to it, but it still makes me laugh.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #182 on: April 14, 2022, 09:46:21 AM »
Do you remember the halcyon days of Yahoo Answers when it had a green format? I started a massive race-war between Blacks and Asians on there and it lasted for years. I went down as a trolling legend by the end of it and had fans messaging me for a long time after, lol. Sounds brutally pathetic when I actually admit to it, but it still makes me laugh.

Must admit I don't recall that, but it sounds right up my street - did you pretend to be both sides, or just one?  I pretended to be an ultra-Christian - not quite as ultra as those Westboro Baptist lunatics though

One of the ones I remember enjoying was when I wrote about coughing during a prostate exam while the Doc had his digit inserted.  I pretended I was concerned that he'd thought I'd enjoyed it, and so kept coming back to say things like I didn't like the way he looked at my naked body, he cupped my balls a few seconds too long, etc... I had the lefties in howling rage at my 'homophobia'... Lasted a few weeks - towards the end I'd kind of convinced them I was latent and about to come out to my faithful Wife, so they were getting all supportive.  I started asking questions about things like rimming, poppers and lube that they answered earnestly... ;D ;D

Also sounds pathetic - but who gives a fuck - it was hilarious ;D
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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #183 on: April 14, 2022, 04:07:33 PM »
Haha, it was at the height of the Pacquiao vs Mayweather buildup. I was younger and still boxing then, and I hated the fanatical Pacquiao fans. I remember I was doing a bit of private security work then in places where there was a high piracy/kidnap threat. Loads of Filipinos used to work in Oil and Gas/Shipping there and they'd annoy the fuck out of me.

Some nights I'd be chilling out trying to watch a movie on my laptop and I'd get the sense that I was being watched. I'd turn around and there would be ten of these buck-toothed little bastards standing behind me and grinning. They'd always come up to me and ask if I had a 'sexy comedy' on my hard drive that I could give them, lol. What the hell is a sexy comedy?

Anyway, I decided to join the Blacks, and we launched a back-and-forth trolling war that was one of the funniest things I've ever read. Back then, you could make a new account every five minutes, add a stupid avatar, and and claim you were some other contributor's mum (or something like that). It was so juvenile but really funny. The abuse that got slung each way was legendary. 

 

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #184 on: April 17, 2022, 12:21:52 PM »
Just enquired about an awesome dog in a rescue I support. I feel like now might be the time to fill that void in my life again. It will change my career trajectory in a big way, but maybe that's a good thing.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #185 on: April 28, 2022, 02:40:12 PM »
I'm so stupidly tanned just now that it looks completely fake. I also had to walk two fat, little pugs earlier - one of which has a pink harness and lead. I've never looked or felt so brutally, horrifically gay before. I could sense the public staring at me and wishing they could send my perverted soul straight to hell.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #186 on: April 29, 2022, 03:54:26 PM »
I'm so stupidly tanned just now that it looks completely fake. I also had to walk two fat, little pugs earlier - one of which has a pink harness and lead. I've never looked or felt so brutally, horrifically gay before. I could sense the public staring at me and wishing they could send my perverted soul straight to hell.

I'm going to be honest and just say straight out that I'm jealous of the tan

And I probably already told you this, but back around the beginning of March we picked up a miniature Dachsund that I've named Kiel (short for Kielbasa)

Because he is short-haired, my Wife has already bought him a variety of outfits, and one of her favourites is a little Arun Polo-neck

Who walks him though?  Me, of course ;D

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #187 on: May 01, 2022, 11:54:22 AM »
I'm going to be honest and just say straight out that I'm jealous of the tan

And I probably already told you this, but back around the beginning of March we picked up a miniature Dachsund that I've named Kiel (short for Kielbasa)

Because he is short-haired, my Wife has already bought him a variety of outfits, and one of her favourites is a little Arun Polo-neck

Who walks him though?  Me, of course ;D

I've spent almost every weekend tanning on a roof for months, lol. I thought I looked ace but now everyone is calling me Dale Winton and David Dickinson  ;D. I remember you saying about the Dachsund. I love all dogs but these fat little fuckers with their colourful leads are too much! I'm absolutely raging with the dog shelter down in London, though. They fucked me off and said they couldn't place me with the one I applied for 'this time'. I've literally owned the breed before and have no kids.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #188 on: May 01, 2022, 11:59:20 AM »
I've spent almost every weekend tanning on a roof for months, lol. I thought I looked ace but now everyone is calling me Dale Winton and David Dickinson  ;D. I remember you saying about the Dachsund. I love all dogs but these fat little fuckers with their colourful leads are too much! I'm absolutely raging with the dog shelter down in London, though. They fucked me off and said they couldn't place me with the one I applied for 'this time'. I've literally owned the breed before and have no kids.

What breed are you looking at?  Sorry, I can't seem to see it in the posts above

(And it's no kids that you know of... ;))

 ;D
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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #189 on: May 01, 2022, 12:37:52 PM »
What breed are you looking at?  Sorry, I can't seem to see it in the posts above

(And it's no kids that you know of... ;))

 ;D

Haha, fuck, that's true. There's probably one or two in a few dark corners of the world. I'm wanting to get another mastiff. I've applied for a Cane Corso and a Boerboel but I'm not having any luck. I suspect the places might already have owners lined up, but it's probably for the best right now, anyway.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #190 on: May 01, 2022, 01:36:46 PM »
Haha, fuck, that's true. There's probably one or two in a few dark corners of the world. I'm wanting to get another mastiff. I've applied for a Cane Corso and a Boerboel but I'm not having any luck. I suspect the places might already have owners lined up, but it's probably for the best right now, anyway.

PFFT!!  Gay dogs

You need something as macho as mine - note the multi-point harness so I can restrain his awesome power!



 ;D
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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #191 on: May 01, 2022, 02:12:35 PM »
PFFT!!  Gay dogs

You need something as macho as mine - note the multi-point harness so I can restrain his awesome power!



 ;D

Haha, he is awesome. I'd have no shame in walking him. I hate that I must look like a wannabe hardman but I feel like my soul is bonded to mastiff breeds and particularly the Boerboel now. It just means that if I get one again soon, I commit to being home.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #192 on: May 05, 2022, 08:33:45 AM »
I'd love to catch that meddling cow from Murder, She Wrote sneaking around my house, looking for clues and shit. I'd give her such a bloody hiding.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #193 on: May 05, 2022, 11:21:40 PM »
I'd love to catch that meddling cow from Murder, She Wrote sneaking around my house, looking for clues and shit. I'd give her such a bloody hiding.

LMFAO!  Angela Lansbury!  Wow.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #194 on: May 06, 2022, 07:04:35 PM »
I'd love to catch that meddling cow from Murder, She Wrote sneaking around my house, looking for clues and shit. I'd give her such a bloody hiding.

Would it be vaguely sexual..?
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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #195 on: May 06, 2022, 07:37:49 PM »
🤣 you guys are killing me.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #196 on: May 06, 2022, 11:58:20 PM »
Would it be vaguely sexual..?

It would be brutally sexual in nature. I'd lace up my steel toecaps and give that old gunt between her legs a frightful kicking. have you ever accidentally smashed your balls so hard (on a bicycle frame or something) where all you can do is lay on the ground clutching your crotch while emitting a low-pitched groan for ten minutes? That's what she'd be doing once I'm done with her.

If I'm going to have a snooping dilettante lurking around my premises like a little creep, then it had better be a moustachioed hunk like Magnum P.I.

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #197 on: May 07, 2022, 04:31:28 AM »
It would be brutally sexual in nature. I'd lace up my steel toecaps and give that old gunt between her legs a frightful kicking. have you ever accidentally smashed your balls so hard (on a bicycle frame or something) where all you can do is lay on the ground clutching your crotch while emitting a low-pitched groan for ten minutes? That's what she'd be doing once I'm done with her.

If I'm going to have a snooping dilettante lurking around my premises like a little creep, then it had better be a moustachioed hunk like Magnum P.I.

I have indeed.  I was about 14 IIRC, and strangely enough, in a biological mechanism I have never understood,  it caused me to vomit reflexively... not projectile, you understand?  And just one 'heave' if you follow... Like the incident itself wasn't embarrassing/upsetting enough in itself! ;D

I'm thinking of adding a 'Fuck Angela Lansbury!' T-shirt to my line of bootleg GetBig merch... watch this space... ;)

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #198 on: May 08, 2022, 12:54:44 AM »
I have indeed.  I was about 14 IIRC, and strangely enough, in a biological mechanism I have never understood,  it caused me to vomit reflexively... not projectile, you understand?  And just one 'heave' if you follow... Like the incident itself wasn't embarrassing/upsetting enough in itself! ;D

I'm thinking of adding a 'Fuck Angela Lansbury!' T-shirt to my line of bootleg GetBig merch... watch this space... ;)

My worst one was when I was in the gym sparring many years ago (well, about ten years now). That fat, British referee Terry O'Connor (actually a very nice man) was in that day and sat watching. I had a groin guard on but somehow my knob decided to go for the half in/half out stance and I took a clean, accidental uppercut to the bell end.

It didn't look like much of a punch, but the effect was as if someone slammed a chub roll in a car door. The stinging sensation was so extreme that I thought for a second it actually might be severed, lol. It was like being wanked off by a Portuguese man o' war.

As an aside, I think Harley used to wear a 'fuck Jane Fonda' patch on his jacket (I presume in response to her Vietnam war stance). It would be my honor to stand next to him while sporting a 'Fuck Angela Lansbury' T-shirt. Old ladies have been getting away with their bullshit for far too long!