For me, I simply humbled myself to the idea that there must to be something more that what I understood if others were willing to give their lives for the will of Jesus Christ......and were happy about it LOL.
I'm sorry, I'm afraid that that can't be what happened. If it were, you would be willing to change your belief(s) regarding Jesus given that the 'willing to give their lives and be happy about it' criterion for the veracity of beliefs is actually much, much more in favor of Al Qaeda's core beliefs -- to say nothing of a huge variety of historical belief systems. Since this won't happen anytime soon, you obviously didn't use that criterion to determine your belief (or at least, you aren't using it to
maintain said belief).
It is also apparently the case that you won't change your beliefs for literally any reason whatsoever, whether said reasons be derived from history, science, logic, or everyday experience.* These beliefs are seemingly completely inaccessible to the faculties that typically produce reasoned thought in cognitive systems like ours. And that's an interesting phenomenon that I hope cognitive psychologists can provide insights on some day.
*This is easily confirmed: no matter what any scientist says, you aren't going to say, "Ah, my relationship with God was an illusion this whole time!" and so on for any other reason proffered. Surely you would agree that this is the case?