You are trapped in a world that is way to complex for you to comprehend with the cognitive apparatus you = equipped with. At the same time this cognitive apparatus (your brain) is programmed to ask all the questions about reality that you probably need a much stronger cognitive processor to answer. Thus, you are trapped searching until you die because you are too dumb to figure out the answer, so any "answer" you might come across = some silly constructed fantasy that has nothing to do with the ultra complex reality.
The only real chance you have to get answers at this point in time is after your death, if the idea of an "afterlife" actually has merit, so you can kill yourself right now, although it might be gambling.
Your best bet is to start listening to this guy:
You gotta love this guy, he knows everything