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Getbig Female Info Boards => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: Original Sin on September 18, 2006, 09:40:38 AM
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Hey Ladies, Migs and even random men I would like your opinions on this. Since my "advice" seems to greatly differ from most of you I would like some insight, please. I have pretty well already made up my mind about what I will do, but I like to think of you gals as "the better Angels of my soul".
A guy I have known since I was sixteen (and yes he was my first) contacted me for dinner and drinks.
We hadn't really spoken in the last few years as his wife doesn't like me. I ran into him at a Stampede party in July and we laughed and talked like no time had passed. He even gave me a job as an office cow for two entire days before I screwed that one up (Damn funny story in my books). We parted ways and I hadn't heard from him since then.
He called my Friday and invited me out for Dinner, Dancing and some Drinks, I accepted. So during drinks on Saturday he told me his wife left him and took the kids earlier in the week and he wished to have somebody he could talk to about his feelings. Now I know where this is going to lead it always has with us. We've tried being together at least 6 times and it never works out. We have travelled together numerous times to places like Vegas and we have "played the slots" without leaving the hotel room.
Then at the end of the trip, a peck on the cheek and we go our own separate ways.
I know he is looking for emotional AND physical comfort. I am just not sure I can do this right now as I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
That is the advice part... :)
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find an unmarried toy boy
xL
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Sometimes it's too tempting when the sex is good to say no. And if that's the case, then it's the "the heart wants what it wants" scenario. But other than that really, what do you get out of it, except drained? :-\
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You already know that it isn't worth it...you said it in your last sentence. Say thanks but right now I have myself to take care of-his problems are not your problems, don't let them be.
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so sorry, i'm useless at advice. I've made the same mistakes 20x.
I think you need to do it over and over and then one day you get it right?
with love
Linda
x
ps: don't go there unless you absolutely have to. but maybe he's a nice guy?
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You already know that it isn't worth it...you said it in your last sentence. Say thanks but right now I have myself to take care of-his problems are not your problems, don't let them be.
agree
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Honey...you do what will make you happy.
But take this into consideration....you are an attractive, hot, young SINGLE girl. You make your OWN money, take care of yourself and lead your OWN life. You have what many men want in a woman. There are so many SINGLE men in this world that you could have....SINGLE being the key word. You say you have your own issues with this guy and have tried 6 times to have a decent relationship. What you do need, IMO, is a decent guy that has no baggage and just wants to cater to you. Why put your time and effort into a guy that has a wife, kids and is emotionally unstable.
Its a train wreck waiting to happen....and you will be the one who hurts more. He has a wife and kids to go home to when its all said and done. Sex may be good, but its only sex. That only goes so far before its monotonous.
tasha
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agree 100%
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I dreampt last night about scrolling through all of this. I could feel my fingers and toes and my mouse.
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I get to use one of my favorite expressions. Hell is the belief that doing the same thing will yield different results. "repeating yesterday" is never a fun cycle. To many times its easy to go for the comfortable and what you know regarding sleeping with a ex but its always a bad thing that keeps you in the same cycle forever. Better to go without then to ever go back.
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Trust me, i doubt he's looking for emotional support. It is my opinion that you need to take care of your own house before taking care of someone elses. If i were you, i would simply but politely say no to hsi offer, or rather retract your previous acceptence and move on. Emotional and physical crutches only tend to make people more disabled. It's just my two cents, but take care of yourself and if he needs emotional support he can go to one of his freinds that he's kept in touch with more frequently or go to counseling.
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I don't get what advice you're asking for? You obviously know that this will go nowhere beyond a few drinks and an orgasm in exchange for listening to a tale of woe.
So, that being the case, you either go, nod your head, say a few "I understands" get your booze on and then get eachother's rocks off until the next time, or you sit home with a glass of wine and a vibrator.
Mods, not being callous or cras, just giving and honest answer to her question.
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I don't get what advice you're asking for? You obviously know that this will go nowhere beyond a few drinks and an orgasm in exchange for listening to a tale of woe.
So, that being the case, you either go, nod your head, say a few "I understands" get your booze on and then get eachother's rocks off until the next time, or you sit home with a glass of wine and a vibrator.
Mods, not being callous or cras, just giving and honest answer to her question.
normal night at miggirino's...sorry I know its going to get deleted..:)
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normal night at miggirino's...sorry I know its going to get deleted..:)
ROFLMAO ;D ;D ;D
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damn no love here, lol
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I am just not sure I can do this right now
that there is your own advice. :)
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Trust me, i doubt he's looking for emotional support. It is my opinion that you need to take care of your own house before taking care of someone elses. If i were you, i would simply but politely say no to hsi offer, or rather retract your previous acceptence and move on. Emotional and physical crutches only tend to make people more disabled. It's just my two cents, but take care of yourself and if he needs emotional support he can go to one of his freinds that he's kept in touch with more frequently or go to counseling.
Right he's not really looking for emotional support he will look to his buddies for that and laughs, and the "what to do now" song and dance. either he's going to take you for a ride or your going take him for a ride ;)
If I were you....I'd keep in touch...16 years right? It's not going anywhere so keep it like that, he already has his mind made up you need to make yours up...and have fun with it...
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Hey Ladies, Migs and even random men I would like your opinions on this. Since my "advice" seems to greatly differ from most of you I would like some insight, please. I have pretty well already made up my mind about what I will do, but I like to think of you gals as "the better Angels of my soul".
A guy I have known since I was sixteen (and yes he was my first) contacted me for dinner and drinks.
We hadn't really spoken in the last few years as his wife doesn't like me. I ran into him at a Stampede party in July and we laughed and talked like no time had passed. He even gave me a job as an office cow for two entire days before I screwed that one up (Damn funny story in my books). We parted ways and I hadn't heard from him since then.
He called my Friday and invited me out for Dinner, Dancing and some Drinks, I accepted. So during drinks on Saturday he told me his wife left him and took the kids earlier in the week and he wished to have somebody he could talk to about his feelings. Now I know where this is going to lead it always has with us. We've tried being together at least 6 times and it never works out. We have travelled together numerous times to places like Vegas and we have "played the slots" without leaving the hotel room.
Then at the end of the trip, a peck on the cheek and we go our own separate ways.
I know he is looking for emotional AND physical comfort. I am just not sure I can do this right now as I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
That is the advice part... :)
hon...chivalry and cavilry are the only things i hold abovve love...
most of the time they go hand in hand...in this case they dont...
a man...(not a male)..but a man DOES NOT....i repeat ..DOES NOT...entice other women when he is married.
its that simple...
what makes u think he wont do the same with you? and that is a crass way of putting it......
high road...robert frost...and all that...he loved this woman enough to have given his soul to her (marriage)....do you want to be the one that enables him to disregard that?
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Bad news. You already know that tho. You're gonna do whatever you're gonna do, ...but in the end can you live with yourself? If you were truly a friend to him, ...and yourself for that matter, you'd already know what to do without having to seek out our advice on it.
Just my 2 cents.
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so youve been 'seeing' him while he was married?
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Hey Ladies, Migs and even random men I would like your opinions on this. Since my "advice" seems to greatly differ from most of you I would like some insight, please. I have pretty well already made up my mind about what I will do, but I like to think of you gals as "the better Angels of my soul".
A guy I have known since I was sixteen (and yes he was my first) contacted me for dinner and drinks.
We hadn't really spoken in the last few years as his wife doesn't like me. I ran into him at a Stampede party in July and we laughed and talked like no time had passed. He even gave me a job as an office cow for two entire days before I screwed that one up (Damn funny story in my books). We parted ways and I hadn't heard from him since then.
He called my Friday and invited me out for Dinner, Dancing and some Drinks, I accepted. So during drinks on Saturday he told me his wife left him and took the kids earlier in the week and he wished to have somebody he could talk to about his feelings. Now I know where this is going to lead it always has with us. We've tried being together at least 6 times and it never works out. We have travelled together numerous times to places like Vegas and we have "played the slots" without leaving the hotel room.
Then at the end of the trip, a peck on the cheek and we go our own separate ways.
I know he is looking for emotional AND physical comfort. I am just not sure I can do this right now as I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
That is the advice part... :)
Hi there Original Sin.
Here's my two pennies worth. If I were you I would move on before this snowballs into something ugly. He is seperated (not divorced) and he has children. When the reality hits him that he WILL have to pay child support and alimony he will run back to her and do everything in his power to salvage his marriage and you will be always ranked #2. Personally, I would never take a second seat to anyone. Whats done is done, you had your fun now move on. There are plenty of single men who would love your company wether its for pleasure or fun.
PB
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Hi there Original Sin.
Here's my two pennies worth. If I were you I would move on before this snowballs into something ugly. He is seperated (not divorced) and he has children. When the reality hits him that he WILL have to pay child support and alimony he will run back to her and do everything in his power to salvage his marriage and you will be always ranked #2. Personally, I would never take a second seat to anyone. Whats done is done, you had your fun now move on. There are plenty of single men who would love your company wether its for pleasure or fun.
PB
It's Calgary though, right? :-\
Original Sin, girl, you need to move to Toronto, or Montreal. :)
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It's Calgary though, right? :-\
Original Sin, girl, you need to move to Toronto, or Montreal. :)
Toronto & Montreal are great meat markets if you are single.
PB
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That's very true. (PB I'm guessing you represent the Toronto committee?)
But both cities are also filled with great relationship guys too. :)
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It's Calgary though, right? :-\
Original Sin, girl, you need to move to Toronto, or Montreal. :)
Umm No,
I am an Albertan a loyal slave in the Kingdom of King Ralph
"Eastern Creeps and Bums" and all that j/k ;D
Dancing in Montreal is a very different scummy thing, so no way for me.
and
I don't wish to live in the "Center of the Universe" ;D
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Sin, is that you in your avatar? And if so, is that a wig?
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Lol on "center of the universe." ;D
I always heard it was supposed to be great to dance in Montreal, lots of opportunities, money, etc... There's like, hundreds of clubs it seems, stretching all the way to the border. ???
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Lol on "center of the universe." ;D
I always heard it was supposed to be great to dance in Montreal, lots of opportunities, money, etc... There's like, hundreds of clubs it seems, stretching all the way to the border. ???
Many clubs, LOTS of money, but very very liberal "rules" about the girls
Touching, poking, prodding, licking etc... <blech>.
Sin, is that you in your avatar? And if so, is that a wig?
SHHH it is a secret....
But it is a wig ;)
I cropped the photo closer and square so you can see the wig better :-*
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Sin, no worries, you're gorgeous regardless. Just was curious. :)
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That's very true. (PB I'm guessing you represent the Toronto committee?)
But both cities are also filled with great relationship guys too. :)
I am.....Go Leafs Go!! LOLOLOL!! ;D
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Umm No,
I am an Albertan a loyal slave in the Kingdom of King Ralph
"Eastern Creeps and Bums" and all that j/k ;D
Dancing in Montreal is a very different scummy thing, so no way for me.
and
I don't wish to live in the "Center of the Universe" ;D
Ya, if you dance stay the hell away from Montreal. The Dancing scene is very dirty. The ladies all turn tricks for money nad if you don't turn tricks, you make no money. I knew a couple of dancers that used to live down the street from me that came to Toronto from Montreal and they verified this. Its a lot better in Toronto.
PB
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I feel so ashamed of my hometown now. >:(
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I feel so ashamed of my hometown now. >:(
Where are you from Deedee?
PB
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Montreal. Born and bred. :)
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Montreal. Born and bred. :)
Don't be ashamed of Montreal, Deedee. The dancing/stripping is bad there. Everything else is phenomenal. I love old Montreal. I usually go down 2-3 times a year to watch a leaf/habs game. Very nice town. :)
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Yeah, I guess the dance/stripper scene doesn't slam a whole city. Although I don't know how many people have been shot outside of Chez Paree and one or two years ago, someone got chased down the street and axed to death after coming out of Wanda Bar...
...but as you say, the rest is great. Fab restaurants, old Montreal is beautiful, nightlife is amazing, summers have the jazz fest and comedy fest... always loved Montreal. Toronto is fun too. Great for shopping!!! :)
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Yeah, I guess the dance/stripper scene doesn't slam a whole city. Although I don't know how many people have been shot outside of Chez Paree and one or two years ago, someone got chased down the street and axed to death after coming out of Wanda Bar...
...but as you say, the rest is great. Fab restaurants, old Montreal is beautiful, nightlife is amazing, summers have the jazz fest and comedy fest... always loved Montreal. Toronto is fun too. Great for shopping!!! :)
Yes, excellent for shopping but expensive. We have a lot of malls down here. I plan to head down to Montreal soon for sure for a hockey game. Last time I went down with friends we went to Thursday's after the game and it was great. Any other good hot spots for a good 25+ crowd? Can't handle the kids, lol:)
PB
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Yes, I know a few. I'm leaving now though... so I'll send you a little list tomorrow morning. :)
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looks like i'll be planning a trip to Montreal! :P
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I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
from what i've read and seen, you seem to be very smart, and attractive (in miniature, at least)--these can take you far . . . but you also seem to like the drama--brings everything to a screeching halt, often literally.
maybe it's time to do a little self-evaluation. ask yourself what you want, and what you're doing to get there.
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Yea I am a Drama Queen for sure, if I don't have enough in my life I will go kick something over to stir up some more. :-\
Anywho,
I just popped in to say thanks for all the wonderful advice.
"See you on the otherside"
Drama Queen sig ;D
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Yea I am a Drama Queen for sure, if I don't have enough in my life I will go kick something over to stir up some more. :-\
No offense to anyone, but it seems women love drama. They thrive on it. At least in my experience. Shut up AS ;D
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Drama, hysterics and tears are just a byproduct of your latin roots Miggy. It's in your DNA.
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Drama, hysterics and tears are just a byproduct of your latin roots Miggy. It's in your DNA.
why are you trying to stir things up..drama queen :-*
I've known other women besides latin that like drama
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Yes, excellent for shopping but expensive. We have a lot of malls down here. I plan to head down to Montreal soon for sure for a hockey game. Last time I went down with friends we went to Thursday's after the game and it was great. Any other good hot spots for a good 25+ crowd? Can't handle the kids, lol:)
PB
Thursday's is definitely part of the meat market scene on the English side of St. Laurent. If you venture to the east, you'll have fun. :) Btw, if you're single, there's a hetero bath house called 1082 in Montreal. Have never been there, but I have seen hot women standing around outside. I wonder if Alexxx would know ???
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Montreal. Born and bred. :)
I use to live on Mont Royal, then on claremont in westmount :D
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I use to live on Mont Royal, then on claremont in westmount :D
Uh oh. :) Were we friends growing up?
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I moved to Florida. ;D To much drama in Massachusetts (sorry Melissa, I love ya, but dayum, lol).
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Try New York. Drama city.
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Try New York. Drama city.
Heh, you don't have my sister in NY.
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hmmm . . . looks a little different in here.
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hmmm . . . looks a little different in here.
I thought it was just me.....
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Thanks for your grace and your discretion :)
Love and hugs to all :D
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What's different though?
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Thanks for your grace and your discretion :)
Love and hugs to all :D
...and especially me. ;D
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Thursday's is definitely part of the meat market scene on the English side of St. Laurent. If you venture to the east, you'll have fun. :) Btw, if you're single, there's a hetero bath house called 1082 in Montreal. Have never been there, but I have seen hot women standing around outside. I wonder if Alexxx would know ???
Whats the story with that crazy guy that went apeshit killing all those innocent people in that Montreal college? I caught a glimpse on the news last week. Apparently he walked into a school carrying a gun and just opened fire on anyone and everyone. One girl was dead and 5 were in intensive care. Apparently he also had a website promoting violence and there were pics of him holding different guns. I'm surprised the RCMP didn't move in on this guy earlier. Wow. When you think you've seen it all......
PB
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...and especially me. ;D
That's right dearie.... how are you feeling today? :)
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That's right dearie.... how are you feeling today? :)
Better thank you. But not a 100%. I am back to work though. Did you all miss me on the boards? :D If you lived closer I bet you would have come over and taken care of me. :) With McDonalds lmao
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Better thank you. But not a 100%. I am back to work though. Did you all miss me on the boards? :D If you lived closer I bet you would have come over and taken care of me. :) With McDonalds lmao
Yes and wine! Of course we missed you! :)
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Better thank you. But not a 100%. I am back to work though. Did you all miss me on the boards? :D If you lived closer I bet you would have come over and taken care of me. :) With McDonalds lmao
Hope it was just a cold... :(
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Whats the story with that crazy guy that went apeshit killing all those innocent people in that Montreal college?
Yes, a complete wack head. He wasn't even a student... just went there and started shooting in the street, then the cafeteria. We were in the building across the street and had no idea what all the swat guys were doing down below. Finally we were evacuated because all the buildings connect to the metro and no one knew at first how many shooters there were. It was a very sad day. 20 people were shot.
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Hope it was just a cold... :(
No, it was a concussion. :(
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Yes, a complete wack head. He wasn't even a student... just went there and started shooting in the street, then the cafeteria. We were in the building across the street and had no idea what all the swat guys were doing down below. Finally we were evacuated because all the buildings connect to the metro and no one knew at first how many shooters there were. It was a very sad day. 20 people were shot.
Holy Christ Deedee! You were across the street? Your lucky you didn't get hurt! Thats f******n crazy! 20 people shot....what the hell are people thinking now a days. Wow. Glad your not hurt:)
PB
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No, it was a concussion. :(
Well I hope you feel better too. And you were missed. :)
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Holy Christ Deedee! You were across the street? Your lucky you didn't get hurt! Thats f******n crazy! 20 people shot....what the hell are people thinking now a days. Wow. Glad your not hurt:)
PB
Thanks PB, but really, I was stuck 20 feet up with a million layers of office space between moi and the street. Poor kids though. Apparently Montreal has a lot of suicidal young males. I don't know why that is... maybe the extra long sh*tty winters. Be glad you live in the happy province next door. :)
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Thanks PB, but really, I was stuck 20 feet up with a million layers of office space between moi and the street. Poor kids though. Apparently Montreal has a lot of suicidal young males. I don't know why that is... maybe the extra long sh*tty winters. Be glad you live in the happy province next door. :)
At least you were safe. I feel sorry for those kids and especially the parents of the victims.
Ya, your province is freezing cold. The winds are brutal. I still remeber the ice storm form a few years back. That was nuts.
In Toronto we don't have suicidal idiots...just no gun control. Scarborough is bad. Gun violence everywhere. Brutal. Cest la vie I suppose:)
PB
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Well I hope you feel better too. And you were missed. :)
awww, thank you deedee. :-*
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awww, thank you deedee. :-*
yes...how are you feeling by the way Cheri ???
PB
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yes...how are you feeling by the way Cheri ???
PB
Still a little loopy, but not too bad :) Thank you for asking PB ;D
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Whats the story with that crazy guy that went apeshit killing all those innocent people in that Montreal college? I caught a glimpse on the news last week. Apparently he walked into a school carrying a gun and just opened fire on anyone and everyone. One girl was dead and 5 were in intensive care. Apparently he also had a website promoting violence and there were pics of him holding different guns. I'm surprised the RCMP didn't move in on this guy earlier. Wow. When you think you've seen it all......
PB
Playboy, didn't you hear? All his guns were legal and properly registered. :-\
His parents thought he was just going through 'a phase'. ::)
The only ones that suspected he was slightly off was the military who kicked him out. Apparently he cried when he had to have his head shaved.. The scum is dead, ...and I'm glad. Just wish he didn't have to take others with him. If he wanted to go, ...he should have just checked out
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Still a little loopy, but not too bad :) Thank you for asking PB ;D
Laura,
wanna know what helps that loopy feeling? Champagne. really try it and see.
oh and a tub of Haagen Dazs icecream... and chocolate. Chocolate make everything better. :P
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Thanks PB, but really, I was stuck 20 feet up with a million layers of office space between moi and the street. Poor kids though. Apparently Montreal has a lot of suicidal young males. I don't know why that is... maybe the extra long sh*tty winters. Be glad you live in the happy province next door. :)
DeeDee, I'm glad you're OK too :)
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Laura,
wanna know what helps that loopy feeling? Champagne. really try it and see.
oh and a tub of Haagen Dazs icecream... and chocolate. Chocolate make everything better. :P
I think I love you... lol
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I think I love you... lol
You know, i think you and i would get along just fine...and let me tell you, at 41, i'm in no mood to make new friends. ;D
Lisa
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Playboy, didn't you hear? All his guns were legal and properly registered. :-\
His parents thought he was just going through 'a phase'. ::)
The only ones that suspected he was slightly off was the military who kicked him out. Apparently he cried when he had to have his head shaved.. The scum is dead, ...and I'm glad. Just wish he didn't have to take others with him. If he wanted to go, ...he should have just checked out
That's f*****d up. His parents thought he was going through a phase. At least he's dead and the world can be a safer place. He was definately missing a few screws.
PB