Author Topic: A neighbour/friend told me that she had sex with her best friend's husband  (Read 51101 times)

tu_holmes

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I have to be honest.

The way they been to you. I would tell Kate.

Unfortunately she may not believe you.

24KT

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If you choose to tell Kate, I don't think the choice should be made in order to get revenge for ill treatment.
If you tell her, tell her because you sincerely believe she would want to know.

I think I have a bit of an idea what you might be experiencing. I too had a friend who was messing around with a mutual friend's boyfriend. The situation was a little different though in that I was not required to keep their secret. I only found out AFTER our mutual friend T found out. She was slightly psychic, and received a flash of insight. She walked out of her apartment, marched 3 flights up, to P's apartment, and started banging on the door. No answer. Then she announced "I know you're both in there, and I know what you're both doing, and I'm not leaving until you come out, ...so you might as well come out and face the music." Knowing her tenacity, both of them decided to open the door and face the music. Meanwhile, I was completely oblivious to all the drama that was taking place 7 floors below me.

When I did find out, I had a very difficult time dealing with it myself, and it took me a long time to trust P again.

It took me a very long time to both forgive and trust P again, but I figured if T could forgive her, it wasn't my place to hold it against her. Although if looks could kill, she would have died that night when she started flirting with my boyfriend.

EDIT: Wild tangent deleted...  The point I was trying to make is how disruptive to a friendship that kind of betrayal of trust can be.
To this day, I still don't know if I can really trust her in that regard.


Anyway, I digress, and you've got me off on a tangent. Suffice to say, only tell Kate for Kate.
Forget Tish or Patrick, and just be the friend who truly has her back.
w

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24k, what WAS he into?

Bertha Butt

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24k, what WAS he into?

Made me curious, too.

24KT

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24k, what WAS he into?

Made me curious, too.

Ladies, ...can you keep a secret?
w

TEH boob

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Ladies, ...can you keep a secret?

Lol who are we going to tell. These are fictional people, for all we know.

24KT

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Lol who are we going to tell. These are fictional people, for all we know.

Can you keep a secret?
w

TEH boob

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Can you keep a secret?

pinky promise

24KT

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pinky promise

So can I.   :-X

I can keep a secret ...to the grave, and I intend to.  :D
w

TEH boob

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So can I.   :-X

I can keep a secret ...to the grave, and I intend to.  :D

that was so mean  :'(

i wanna know secrets  :'(

24KT

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that was so mean  :'(

i wanna know secrets  :'(

Sorry, ...some secrets are just too embarrassing to share.   :-[

I knew I was gonna have a problem with the relationship when I realized I was too embarrassed to be with him.
He was soooo cute. Drop dead gorgeous, sharp dresser, and had a smile that could melt the arctic tundra.
He'd smile and it would be all over. He had that effect on women. Throw in the fact that at 28, he owned his own brokerage firm, as well as his own insurance company, ...and had a Platinum Amex card, and he was considered quite the little catch, ...but I dreaded the thought of people knowing we were together.

I had a girlfriend from South America who was head over heels in love with him.
He and I were holding hands while making our way through the crowd at Stilife (a nightclub) one night when she spotted us. I ran into her at a Yorkville café the next day, and she was practically in tears as she was telling me how crazy she was over him, and how lucky she thought I was to be with him. She even admitted she sometimes used to go to Bemelman's (a trendy Bloor street restaurant at the time) just to sit and stare at him. She had it baaaaad! Now if there is one thing I know, is that any woman that far gone on a man, is a woman who either has been, or could easily be, intimate with that man, at the drop of a hat. All he'd have to do is snap his fingers, and she'd be his. There was no doubt in my mind that if he wanted her in his bed, she'd be there at the drop of a hat, ...if she hadn't been already. She was a fiery, adventurous, open minded, passionate Latina with a wild side, and an even wilder body. Picture a woman with the face of Megan Fox, and the body and personality of Sophia Vergara. As she was pouring out her angst to me, ...all I could think of was "Oh my God, what if Gabriella has already slept with him? What if she sleeps with him in the future? She's gonna know what I might have engaged in!!!" 

When contemplating the possibility of a boyfriend potentially cheating on you, and your immediate thoughts and primary concerns are about YOUR sexual privacy rather than any lack of fidelity on his part, ...you know you have a problem, and you really shouldn't be doing what you've been doing.  :P

Then too, he once offered to hook me up with his ex. A girlfriend he'd lived with for two years, and with whom he was still on good terms. His ex was one of the top Casting Directors in the city at the time, and here I was declining his offer to give me an 'IN' with her. All i kept thinking was 'HELL NO!' They didn't date casually, they'd lived together for two years. TWO YEARS!!! There is no way on God's green earth they could have lasted that long, and set up house together, unless she was doing something to keep him happy, ...and I knew exactly what it was that made him happy. That mean't I would know what she was doing, or into, in her private life. I only had to put myself in her position for a split second to realize that anyone with that kind of knowledge would not be someone who stood a very good chance of living out the weekend. lol. In fact, in my estimation, she'd probably see it as a time to start interviewing hit men.

In hindsight, it really wasn't all that "bad", it was kind of fun, a little exciting at first. A bit of a novelty, and very liberating & uninhibiting, ...at first. But then I realized that what was an uninhibiting novelty for me, was a necessity for him. That was the part I couldn't get past. The idea that this novelty item was not to be an occasional appetizer as I first thought, but would infact be the staple and main course of our intimate life was just a little too much for me. The novelty wore off real quick, and I cringed at the thought of a steady diet of it. I needed to get out and get out fast. Ah...but he was soooo pretty. What can I say, ...I have a weakness for masculine pretty boys, ...but sometimes a girls just gotta draw the line. ;D
w

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PM me aaaaall the secrets!  :D

24KT

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PM me aaaaall the secrets!  :D

If I did that, ...I'd have to have you whacked.

Tell you what, ...first let me line up a hit man, then we meet.
I'll reveal my little secrets to you, ...then step out of the room while the hit man takes care of you.

Deal?
w

xxxLinda

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[size=16pt]keep a secret?[/size]


I have kept it secret other than chatting on here and have stayed away and concentrated on nice stuff like gardening.  It is not my place, no way, to tell Kate.  It hurts me too much and it'll ruin Kate's life?  15 years of her trust in both her partner and her supposed best friend utterly shattered?  Horrific.


Thanks so much for your advice and knowledge about this mad situation.  

I've stayed away from Tish my neighbour (which saddens me, but I must) and saw Patrick (the bloke who has proven to me, yet again for the 1000th time, that men'll fuck anything) on the road yesterday and he said ''call a truce?' and I said ''I feel sorry for Kate and no longer see Tish, well done"  and kept going up the road home...



24kt I know you I must do?  I lived in TO/YYZ from 1970 (I emigrated there from England with my family as a child) till 1986 and was there at the opening and then regularly closed Bemelmen's.  I was so hot when I was extremely young and beautiful...

You and I speak the same lingo.  But that was all 25+ years ago...  You are sounding like someone I used to know...

Either that or you're an old reinstated Girly Getbig personality?  Are you Jag?

xxxL

end of thread ya?
I'm not getting drunk with Tish ever again (I took a pot of tea, two mugs, milk and sugar on a tray up to the stoop to sit with her last time she rang my doorbell.  She will never be welcome in my home or my gorgeous back garden ever again.  But I gave in and went and sat there out front with her and did a pretend smile, called her a drunken slut and explained that I'll never drink alcohol with her again).  Sorted.  
Still bothers me but I'll get over it shortly.

24KT

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I have kept it secret other than chatting on here and have stayed away and concentrated on nice stuff like gardening.  It is not my place, no way, to tell Kate.  It hurts me too much and it'll ruin Kate's life?  15 years of her trust in both her partner and her supposed best friend utterly shattered?  Horrific.


Thanks so much for your advice and knowledge about this mad situation.  

I've stayed away from Tish my neighbour (which saddens me, but I must) and saw Patrick (the bloke who has proven to me, yet again for the 1000th time, that men'll fuck anything) on the road yesterday and he said ''call a truce?' and I said ''I feel sorry for Kate and no longer see Tish, well done"  and kept going up the road home...



24kt I know you I must do?  I lived in TO/YYZ from 1970 (I emigrated there from England with my family as a child) till 1986 and was there at the opening and then regularly closed Bemelmen's.  I was so hot when I was extremely young and beautiful...

You and I speak the same lingo.  But that was all 25+ years ago...  You are sounding like someone I used to know...

Either that or you're an old reinstated Girly Getbig personality?  Are you Judi/Jag?

xxxL

end of thread ya?
I'm not getting drunk with Tish ever again (I took a pot of tea, two mugs, milk and sugar on a tray up to the stoop to sit with her last time she rang my doorbell.  She will never be welcome in my home or my gorgeous back garden ever again.  But I gave in and went and sat there out front with her and did a pretend smile, called her a drunken slut and explained that I'll never drink alcohol with her again).  Sorted.  
Still bothers me but I'll get over it shortly.


Yes Linda, I thought you knew I'm Jag. I don't know if we've ever met, ...I think chances are highly likely we may have. I know we almost met in 1985. I was suppose to work on that Frank Stallone film, but backed out at the last minute. We could have met around Yorkville. btw - do you still have that video link to the YouTube video I sent you? I've been trying to find it for a few years now and haven't been able to.
w

xxxLinda

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nope Jag, I didn't clock that it was you until just now, I wasn't paying that much attention until you started posting paragraphs and I then suddenly knew it had to be you...

xL
what clip did you send me Jag?  I don't really do clips

xxxLinda

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end of thread.  Tishy went away to the countryside for a week, good for her, I hope she goes and thinks and recognises her evil ways.  I will be civil to her in future but nothing more.  Patrick was manly egofest nice(ish) to me on the road the other day, but I was with a bloke neighbour so he had to be.  

I haven't seen Kate and if I do I'll talk to her about the Lilacs and Rhodedendrons and the Lillies all coming up, I'll pretend to not know diddly squat.  It's highly unlikely that she'd talk to me about her personal life, I've only met her two or three times.  I'll just act silly and zip my lips and stay away from the probable fallout.  I might give her a hug and walk away.  I hope I don't run into her, I hope I don't see her.  I'd have to smile and keep going.  I feel so very sorry for Kate.

24KT

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I didn't clock that it was you until just now, I wasn't paying that much attention until you started posting paragraphs and I then I suddenly knew it had to be you...

xL
what clip did you send me


That's ok, I found it again. It is one of the most beautiful love letters to Toronto I've seen.
It was a video posted by a Filipino man who accidentally found himself stuck in Toronto for a year.
He ended up falling in love with the place. I love the video, it brings back many happy memories,
...and of course, some of my old haunts are no more... Bistro 990, The Sutton Place Hotel... both gone now  :'(

See if this brings back any memories...

A Year in Canada: It Feels Good, and It's Beautiful




and of course, there's this one that is bound to bring back memories for you  :)


Find Yourself in People City



No Torontonian from back in those days can forget this

PS: No, I'm not Teh Boob
w

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Yeah I joined in October or so. Yeah women's board was dead, I posted only in g&o up til a month or two ago

xxxLinda

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That neighbour/friend of mine yesterday checked into AA re-hab...   Good for her

(I'd stayed away from her and just been civil/polite/gotta-go-now to her for 3 months?




So that's the answer is it?  Shoddy pile of crap she is, hope she repents.  Hope she suffers withdrawal.   AA?  You went and fucked your best friends' hubby you nasty drunken drugged slut.     Or you allowed him to fuck you.   Whatever.  You disgust me

I'll be here when you get out.  I feel so sorry for you you sad cow.  There's no way I could've helped you so I didn't.  I was here, you were over there.

Women like you give women a bad name you slag from hell.

I've realised that I honestly don't care about their nasty behaviour, carry on you lot, if you want.  


What I object to is that she had to tell me and wrecked my friend/neighbour/female friend trust thing  Don't know why I bother caring really



xL

xxxLinda

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And no, I didn't tell Kate.  I hardly know her.  She's going through a really bad patch.  Not only has her live-in partner fucked her best friend, her mum died recently and so now she's coping with that, not knowing the rest.



I hate it when I see her going to that slut what fucked her hubby and crying on her shoulder, trusting her


I'm best out of this crap situation, I'm not saying nowt to noone.  I was going to send Kate sympathy flowers but I didn't.  xL

xxxLinda

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What truly honestly irks me is that I thought I'd found a really good friend:  Tishy is Pisces/Monkey, same as me only exactly 12 years older.  She's supposed to be my me if you believe all that astro stuff?  She's like a hippy from way back.  She wears purple and turquoise like me.  Even better than me.  Gives (or gave) great hugs, I miss her.  Ought I forgive her?

Should I talk to her about her horrid behaviour when she gets out of rehab?  I'm thinking Kate knows Patrick regularly errs, he came on to me big time at least 20 times and it was difficult to tell him to just stop it please.  So I must forgive Tish.  Kate may never find out.  That'd be fantastic wouldn't it?


madly
xL


I should just phone her shouldn't I, whilst she's in rehab, she'll have her mobile phone with her won't she?  I ought attempt to help, I should ask how she is?

I should, instead of putting it all off and writing on an online forum?  I feel so sorry for Tishy.  Daft woman

na, I'll just turn off my computer and go to bed.









drkaje

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Re: A neighbour/friend told me that she had sex with her best friend's husband
« Reply #47 on: September 06, 2014, 03:59:19 PM »
Purple may quite possible be the least flattering color anyone can wear.