Author Topic: Lady's opinion of an ex boyfriend... (Read 7259 times)

drkaje · « **Reply #25 on:** April 09, 2009, 12:37:07 PM »

Quote from: coltrane on April 09, 2009, 12:35:10 PM

Again today the were emails back and forth... all petty. When i asked about if she's heard from him, she bold face lies to me.
I know there isn't anything sexual going on still as i know she finds him repulsive. But why not tell me? I tell her when my ex's communicate?!

Boot her ass before it's too late.

Migs · « **Reply #26 on:** April 09, 2009, 12:39:09 PM »

did you think that maybe she doesn't tell you becuase she thinks that you may not really want to hear about it? Maybe she doesn't think that you will react accordingly and make her think that you can't trust her to hold communications with other people, which we now know you don't trust her. let the email shit go. She is with you, that's all you need to know.

coltrane · « **Reply #27 on:** April 09, 2009, 12:40:15 PM »

Quote from: drkaje on April 09, 2009, 12:37:07 PM

Boot her ass before it's too late.

everything else is great though.. it's just why doesn't she tell me? Ladies? Is she afraid i won't believe her that it's innocent perhaps? I just don't get it.

I'm sure she is done with the guy... i'm positive actually from reading emails about him to her friends..lol.... i know, i'm awful...

coltrane · « **Reply #28 on:** April 09, 2009, 12:41:19 PM »

Quote from: Migs on April 09, 2009, 12:39:09 PM

did you think that maybe she doesn't tell you becuase she thinks that you may not really want to hear about it? Maybe she doesn't think that you will react accordingly and make her think that you can't trust her to hold communications with other people, which we now know you don't trust her. let the email shit go. She is with you, that's all you need to know.

I've told her before that by her telling me stuff like this, it only makes me trust her more.. i.e. so tell me.

Migs · « **Reply #29 on:** April 09, 2009, 12:59:50 PM »

she probably feels that you are pushing her too much, asking her about him. shows insecurity. again, give her privacy back.

24KT · « **Reply #30 on:** April 09, 2009, 01:10:49 PM »

Quote from: coltrane on April 09, 2009, 12:35:10 PM

Again today the were emails back and forth... all petty. When i asked about if she's heard from him, she bold face lies to me.
I know there isn't anything sexual going on still as i know she finds him repulsive. But why not tell me? I tell her when my ex's communicate?!

Maybe she is well aware of your inordinate obsession with this ex. She realizes how insecure you are about him,
...and doesn't want you to suffer from erectile dysfunction. like I said, lose the password before you lose your girlfirend.

drkaje · « **Reply #31 on:** April 09, 2009, 01:47:48 PM »

Quote from: coltrane on April 09, 2009, 12:40:15 PM

everything else is great though.. it's just why doesn't she tell me? Ladies? Is she afraid i won't believe her that it's innocent perhaps? I just don't get it.

I'm sure she is done with the guy... i'm positive actually from reading emails about him to her friends..lol.... i know, i'm awful...

If she's done with him why would there be e-mails to friends?

You are getting played. She knows the e-mails are being read. This is all a game so you'll look like more of a jerk than she does when this finally blows up in your face. Instead of being the guy who booted a lying chick you'll end up whining about how it's all your fault for checking the e-mails.

Chicks are smarter about stuff like this than men.

I doubt there's a female here who believes she isn't on to your snooping. Reads to me like you're hooked up with a princess who is never 'wrong'. Maybe she just feels entitled to more attention than one guy can give so still talking with the ex seems relatively right

Quote from: drkaje on April 09, 2009, 12:37:07 PM

Boot her ass before it's too late.

Deedee · « **Reply #32 on:** April 09, 2009, 02:24:13 PM »

The reading of the emails cancels out the not coming totally clean about the ex.

You're even.

Migs · « **Reply #33 on:** April 09, 2009, 03:05:46 PM »

Quote from: Deedee on April 09, 2009, 02:24:13 PM

The reading of the emails cancels out the not coming totally clean about the ex.

You're even.

i so expected something more complicated from you. Always surprising me!

drkaje · « **Reply #34 on:** April 09, 2009, 03:56:43 PM »

Quote from: Deedee on April 09, 2009, 02:24:13 PM

The reading of the emails cancels out the not coming totally clean about the ex.

You're even.

No they don't.

Booting her is the only way to make things even.

Deedee · « **Reply #35 on:** April 09, 2009, 04:08:12 PM »

Quote from: drkaje on April 09, 2009, 03:56:43 PM

No they don't.

Booting her is the only way to make things even.

That's the advice he's looking for, so what you said is fine. You're right, she knows he's looking at emails. Duh.

Doesn't mean she's doing anything wrong. Maybe she just not sure and wants an out and his reading of the emails gives her the chance eventually to say he's suffocating her. Maybe she really wants to trust him and is testing him. Who knows. Doesn't mean though that she's screwing around or doing anything wrong. Maybe, she just doesn't want to get really involved with someone who invades privacy without permission. Guys who beat women usually do that. On the other hand, maybe they're both 18, where these kinds of things matter and you have to ask others what to do.

24KT · « **Reply #36 on:** April 09, 2009, 04:21:42 PM »

Quote from: drkaje on April 09, 2009, 01:47:48 PM

Chicks are smarter about stuff like this than men. I doubt there's a female here who believes she isn't on to your snooping.

Shhhh... he's suppose to learn the hard way.

What's that w8m8 always says ..."Stupid should hurt".
He needs to lose the password before he loses the girlfriend.

tu_holmes · « **Reply #37 on:** April 09, 2009, 04:24:44 PM »

Quote from: drkaje on April 08, 2009, 01:27:49 PM

I still say boot her.

Xs 2

The BEAST · « **Reply #38 on:** April 09, 2009, 09:44:37 PM »

Quote from: coltrane on April 09, 2009, 12:35:10 PM

Again today the were emails back and forth... all petty. When i asked about if she's heard from him, she bold face lies to me.
I know there isn't anything sexual going on still as i know she finds him repulsive. But why not tell me? I tell her when my ex's communicate?!

I think drk maybe said this but maybe she has an inkling that you are snooping on her and is testing you to see if and when you will say something....at which point she will flip out and break it off.

Good Luck, doesn't sound like it is a very strong relationship to me.

coltrane · « **Reply #39 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:17:22 AM »

All the emails are totally harmless.... and she doesn't know i'm looking at her emails..

i think she just doesn't tell me bc she is afraid of my reaction and losing me.

This girl quit her good job and is moving to a different state (my state) bc of me.. she is TOTALLY into me. That i know.. i think she is just scared i may boot her if i found out... bc i wouldn't understand that there are no feelings.. but just a past.

Migs · « **Reply #40 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:08:55 AM »

let it go. you are doing more damage to the underlying relationship than good.

coltrane · « **Reply #41 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:13:22 AM »

Quote from: Migs on April 10, 2009, 07:08:55 AM

let it go. you are doing more damage to the underlying relationship than good.

i know.. you're probably right.. and if anything, i've already proved to myself by reading them that there is nothing with the ex...

drkaje · « **Reply #42 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:32:44 AM »

Quote from: coltrane on April 10, 2009, 06:17:22 AM

All the emails are totally harmless.... and she doesn't know i'm looking at her emails..

i think she just doesn't tell me bc she is afraid of my reaction and losing me.

This girl quit her good job and is moving to a different state (my state) bc of me.. she is TOTALLY into me. That i know.. i think she is just scared i may boot her if i found out... bc i wouldn't understand that there are no feelings.. but just a past.

She knows you're reading the e-mails.

Do the right thing: tell her to keep the job and move the heck on.

I hate to admit this but women are smarter than the typical man in most (some would say all) ways. Thinking you're smarter is a sign of arrogance and simply means you're underestimated her.

Take this from a man who knows hoes and game. You are getting played. She may be a sweet chick and the communication could be totally innocent but you're still being manipulated on many levels.

coltrane · « **Reply #43 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:47:07 AM »

Quote from: drkaje on April 10, 2009, 07:32:44 AM

She knows you're reading the e-mails.

Do the right thing: tell her to keep the job and move the heck on.

I hate to admit this but women are smarter than the typical man in most (some would say all) ways. Thinking you're smarter is a sign of arrogance and simply means you're underestimated her.

Take this from a man who knows hoes and game. You are getting played. She may be a sweet chick and the communication could be totally innocent but you're still being manipulated on many levels.

Thanks for the advices.. but i must disagree... This girl is crazy about me.. i could go on and on about it on here (and my base for saying it isn't just what she's told me). She is scared i may find out about communications with the ex and would dump her. It's gotta be why she hasn't told me... i should mention that she has told me before about communications... just not all of them...

Migs · « **Reply #44 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:01:15 AM »

coltrane · « **Reply #45 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:11:24 AM »

hahha..

you're right Migs.. youre right....

drkaje · « **Reply #46 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:45:36 AM »

Quote from: Migs on April 10, 2009, 08:01:15 AM

Migsy,

Why do we even bother? No one has ever won an argument with another man's hard-on.

Migs · « **Reply #47 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:50:55 AM »

cock fights are never a good thing.

drkaje · « **Reply #48 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:53:52 AM »

Quote from: Migs on April 10, 2009, 08:50:55 AM

cock fights are never a good thing.

There's an old saying: When the dick gets hard, the mind goes soft.

tonymctones · « **Reply #49 on:** April 10, 2009, 09:11:05 AM »

Quote from: jaguarenterprises on April 09, 2009, 01:10:49 PM

Maybe she is well aware of your inordinate obsession with this ex. She realizes how insecure you are about him,
...and doesn't want you to suffer from erectile dysfunction. like I said, lose the password before you lose your girlfirend.

LOL ouch but theres truth in this coltrane you are obviously insecure about your relationship and their relationship. Im not saying I blame you after all she is lying about talking to him even if it is benign and Platonic. Its obvious though that youre not going to stop so i think kaje is right you need to break up man. If you dont you will keep checking her email it will come out sooner or later whether she knows already or you bring it up b/c you cant take it anymore and you will more then likely break up then. Do yourself the favor and dont drag yourself through the shit just make a clean break.