the kid's dad is a deadbeat. Turned out he became a drunk a couple years into the marriage. For whatever reason. Would berate her, yell at her and emotionally beat her down. She tried to make the relationship work but left him a few years after the kid was born. He has no interest in seeing the kid but she does make the effort to try to have him see the kid so the kid doesn't feel abandoned and mentally fucked up. She hates her ex with a passion.
This whole COVID thing has amplified shit as well. If that kid was in school then things would be a lot better. Having him around all day and her trying to work while helping him with distant learning and shit is driving her nuts. Before COVID things were fucking awesome. Then as the lockdown continued and months went on, things devolved worse and worse. To the point where she was so stressed that she almost had a physical breakdown.
Lately we just seem to be getting on each other's nerves which is expected being around each other non stop. For those of you saying she is cheating and fucking other guys need to shut up. She is not. I know this for a fact. Can she or will she ever? Who knows, I thought my ex wife was the kind that would never cheat and even she proved all women are whore's deep inside. My marriage was also pretty much over when she did but still we were married at the time so it proves any woman will cheat. Then again, so will any man. We are all complicit in this shit.
As days go by I am leaning more and more into leaving. We got into a big argument over the dumbest shit recently, said some mean things to each other, but her mean things had zero effect on me. Made me think after why I didn't react or give a fuck. Makes me realize I just don't care anymore.
You might think I'm a douchebag, but allow me to give you some bullet points to consider .
1. Have her file via her county office for child support based on "abandonment" by him.
He might be a dead beat , but she doesn't need him coming back demanding some renewed custody.
Please encourage her to do this, regardless of what you do in terms of staying with her.
2. You love her, but a bigger issue is , this boy needs a father , he can depend on.
She needs a loving man who can be a partner to her with "life" and raising her son.
There are a lot worse ways to spend your life and plenty of men find it a meaningful lifestyle.
If giving this boy a loving, dedicated dad is something you desire, go ahead and do it.
If not, move on and give them a shot to find it.
Do you have your own grown children or not? Perhaps that could make a difference in your decision?
3. It all comes down to the basic "regret test".
Pretend that you wake up , next week and you're moved out/broken up.
Which are going to feel more: ( even 51% more, it's never 100% )
a. REGRET you left her and the boy
b. RELIEF you left a stressful relationship
I sincerely wish you some peace and inner strength when making this tough choice.
In the end, it will be emotional , regardless of what you choose.
BUT, it should be YOUR choice, based on YOUR inner feelings.
