Author Topic: Florida, my god... Florida  (Read 9153 times)

Yamcha

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Florida, my god... Florida
« on: March 17, 2016, 09:03:37 AM »
Florida: 400-Pound Woman Survives Sexual Assault by herd of Manatees



Fort Pierce, FL | The U.S. Coast Guard rescued a Florida woman from a frightening assault by a herd of manatees yesterday near Pepper Park Beach, a popular beach in the area.

The tourist on vacation went for a swim near 2pm in the afternoon when she was suddenly caught up by a herd of male manatees that possibly mistook the poor woman for a female manatee.

“I was just playing around in the water when I suddenly noticed a herd of manatees next to me. At first I was curious, but eventually I became scared when they started getting agitated. Then something pulled me underwater and as I gagged for air, I felt the crushing weight of one of the beasts on my back and at that moment, I thought I was going to die” she recalls, visibly traumatized by the latest events. “It all happened in a flash, all I remember is the horrifying sight of the manatees trying to grab me and force me into submission. Luckily, a man on a jet ski caught their attention and scared them away moments before the Coast Guard rescued me,” she told local reporters.

A bloody vaginal discharge

The sexual assault of the herd of manatees on a human being could be explained by the menstrual cycle of the vacationer, believes Jane Keller, professor of biology at the University of South Florida.

“When a female manatee goes into estrus, she is soon detected and pursued by numerous male manatees throughout the cycle. During that time, the female can mate with a dozen or more males in what is known as an estrus or mating herd. It is possible that the animals mistook the bloody vaginal discharge of the victim’s period as a female manatee in estrus,” she explains. “I would definitely suggest that women not go swimming during their menstrual cycle in areas where manatee mating occurs,” she warns.

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-400-pound-woman-survives-sexual-assault-by-herd-of-manatees/


 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

a

Kwon_2

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2016, 09:07:44 AM »

Dokey111

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2016, 09:11:36 AM »
Muslim no doubt

drkaje

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2016, 09:13:30 AM »
Has to be bullshit!

SquatsRule

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2016, 09:13:37 AM »
She should just kill herself now hahahaha.
S

Dave D

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2016, 09:14:18 AM »

240 is Back

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2016, 09:17:40 AM »
thankfully she was able to vote Trump before the attack

_aj_

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2016, 10:25:36 AM »
thankfully she was able to vote Trump before the attack

x2

drkaje

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2016, 10:28:55 AM »
thankfully she was able to vote Trump before the attack

Trump is gonna build a net!

WannaBePro

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gym**rat

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2016, 12:57:22 PM »
Its a hoax

http://hoax-alert.leadstories.com/614366-woman-not-sexually-assaulted.html

I am not surprised. I would not think any living, breathing animal would fuck that tub of Crisco.

Tennisballz

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2016, 02:00:34 PM »
A herd of manatees is hardly believable.  A herd of bigmikecoxs on the other hand...

falco

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2016, 03:25:27 AM »
So funny, but the story screams bullshit, or better, manateeshit.

Tapeworm

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2016, 03:55:01 AM »
Trump is gonna build a net!

Good!  ;D

Bindare_Dundat

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2016, 04:18:25 AM »
I am not surprised. I would not think any living, breathing animal would fuck that tub of Crisco.

Are you kidding? Have you read some of the comments in the wyhi threads? Some guys would consider her a.move up from their usual sexual encounters.

Fallsview

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #15 on: March 18, 2016, 04:30:21 AM »
Looks as though she ate Wes.

WannaBePro

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2016, 04:30:27 AM »
Are you kidding? Have you read some of the comments in the wyhi threads? Some guys would consider her a.move up from their usual sexual encounters.

That's just scary...
But I guess if Mama June can procreate looking the way she does then everyone has a chance.

drkaje

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2016, 07:22:34 AM »
Something weird is always going on in Florida. I'll be in Tampa and then Columbia, SC next week.

If anything unusual (for Florida) happens I'll post about it.

WannaBePro

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2016, 07:33:50 AM »
Something weird is always going on in Florida. I'll be in Tampa and then Columbia, SC next week.

If anything unusual (for Florida) happens I'll post about it.

I've been to Florida once in my life and that was to Daytona for spring break when I was in University. That place is all kinds of fucked up. The hotel/staff/beaches are really nice. But as soon as you cross the street away from the beach its like you're in another world. Toothless meth heads everywhere. My friends and I got chased by some cracked out lady who kept yelling that we stole her purse. Another time we were in a convenience store, it was probably around midnight, maybe 1am, and our one friend was beyond drunk, so we leaned him on a wall while we picked up some snacks. He started talking to this drunk lady and some guy yells out from the other side of the store "Hey! Stop hitting on my mom!" Then runs out of the store, runs back in with a shot gun, the store clerk pulls out a pistol and tells them both to get the fuck out of his store. As a Canadian I was floored! That's insane! That seriously scared the living shit out of us.
I haven't been back to FL since. Nor do I ever plan to. Unless its Boca, I hear Boca is nice haha.

_bruce_

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2016, 11:01:35 AM »
A herd of manatees is hardly believable.  A herd of bigmikecoxs on the other hand...

 ;D ;D ;D
.

LurkerNoMore

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2016, 11:13:39 AM »
I've been to Florida once in my life and that was to Daytona for spring break when I was in University. That place is all kinds of fucked up. The hotel/staff/beaches are really nice. But as soon as you cross the street away from the beach its like you're in another world. Toothless meth heads everywhere. My friends and I got chased by some cracked out lady who kept yelling that we stole her purse. Another time we were in a convenience store, it was probably around midnight, maybe 1am, and our one friend was beyond drunk, so we leaned him on a wall while we picked up some snacks. He started talking to this drunk lady and some guy yells out from the other side of the store "Hey! Stop hitting on my mom!" Then runs out of the store, runs back in with a shot gun, the store clerk pulls out a pistol and tells them both to get the fuck out of his store. As a Canadian I was floored! That's insane! That seriously scared the living shit out of us.
I haven't been back to FL since. Nor do I ever plan to. Unless its Boca, I hear Boca is nice haha.

You haven't been to Florida.  You have been to redneck capital.

WannaBePro

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2016, 11:14:59 AM »
You haven't been to Florida.  You have been to redneck capital.

I honestly didn't know the difference LOL. I've never had the urge to go to FL before. Only reason I went is cause a bunch of my friends wanted to go.

drkaje

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2016, 08:27:13 AM »

_aj_

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #23 on: March 19, 2016, 08:54:31 AM »
I've been to Florida once in my life and that was to Daytona for spring break when I was in University. That place is all kinds of fucked up. The hotel/staff/beaches are really nice. But as soon as you cross the street away from the beach its like you're in another world. Toothless meth heads everywhere. My friends and I got chased by some cracked out lady who kept yelling that we stole her purse. Another time we were in a convenience store, it was probably around midnight, maybe 1am, and our one friend was beyond drunk, so we leaned him on a wall while we picked up some snacks. He started talking to this drunk lady and some guy yells out from the other side of the store "Hey! Stop hitting on my mom!" Then runs out of the store, runs back in with a shot gun, the store clerk pulls out a pistol and tells them both to get the fuck out of his store. As a Canadian I was floored! That's insane! That seriously scared the living shit out of us.
I haven't been back to FL since. Nor do I ever plan to. Unless its Boca, I hear Boca is nice haha.

Even the "nice" places have crime that's off the charts. The Dindus are fucking animals. No shit, if you are in Fort Lauderdale outside of the green zone and you see a black face, either shoot or prepare to die.

Lived 3 years in Delray Beach just north of Boca. I know what I am speaking.

Donny

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Re: Florida, my god... Florida
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2016, 08:59:32 AM »
Even the "nice" places have crime that's off the charts. The Dindus are fucking animals. No shit, if you are in Fort Lauderdale outside of the green zone and you see a black face, either shoot or prepare to die.

Lived 3 years in Delray Beach just north of Boca. I know what I am speaking.
Isn´t Florida full of Alligators?  :-X