What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment at Work?

[Colossus_500]

See now this is the twist of life.  I think at this point I would have a blast working with Celeste 

She had a sense of humor, I'll give her that much.

[YoMamaBeenLurking]

She had a sense of humor, I'll give her that much.

"Give me a good deal and I'll sit on your face"  (heard her say this often)

That is priceless material dude. 

[Butterbean]

"My wife's afraid of my one-eyed monster"

lol!

[24KT]

I don't think what DeeDee did was harassment, unfortunately it can be such a subjective thing, because it has to do not ONLY with what is said, ...but also how it is perceived and how it makes the other person feel. And we all know men are NOTORIOUS for misinterpreting friendly cordial behaviour from women to mean 'she wants me'.

If it is specifically written in the HR policy at her workplace, and it makes him feel uncomfortable and he complains about it, Deedee could land in hot water. Hopefully sanity will prevail.

Sexual harassment also does not require contact, the desire to have sex or to imply such either. It can simply be unwanted or hostile attention focussing on a person's gender. ie: When furious over someone's incompetence, losing it and screaming that "your f-ing problem is your bra size is bigger than your IQ." is a definite no-no and is considered sexual harassment even if said from one woman to another and only in the presence of other women, it's still sexual harassment. 

Comments designed to demean or humiliate a person based on their gender is also considered sexual harrassment as well.

Then too are the idiots who just go too far. Try playing a prostitute on a film set with a bunch of horny IATSE crew members and a set full of meisner trained actors. 

Usually the crews are pretty professional and try to keep it to themselves, ...but sometimes the actors can be just craaaaaazy!.

Bottom line however is, sexual harassment exists in all shapes and forms, and it plays both ways.
The key is developing a good enough relationship with the other person so that comments, jokes, etc., are not misinterpreted, and boundaries are not crossed, ...and knowing when to leave well enough alone

I think pretty much none of us can be considered completely innocent when it comes to sexual harassment either intentionally or unintentionally at some point or other, ...but few of us are guilty.

[youandme]

I like sexual harassment.
j/k

But I like joking and letting loose with the people you work with. but usually you have 1 or 2 goody 2 shoes who you know don't like it when they leave the office it's game on, haha.

Sad that people always want to hunt someone down, if someone says NO it means NO and that's it. But some people need to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable in certain situations "come on guys, get serious" easy as that, then grab a boob 

[Migs]

I feel fine complimenting someone on how they look.  I don't whistle or cat call them.  I simply say that they look nice today or that the new hairstyle is nice etc.  If people call sexual harrasment then whatever.  You should be able to ecpress a niectywithout having to get hauled into HR.

[24KT]

One would think, ...unfortunately a few rotten apples have used 'common niceties' to demean, humiliate and make others feel uncomfortable. It's that ambiguity that makes it safer to simply avoid the whole situation to begin with. I suspect the draconian policies against simple niceties are more for the benefit of the HR departments who'd prefer not to get entangled in these potential messes, so they put them in their policies.

[ignorance]

If I didn't know you and you worked with me in the place work place and said that to me, I would give you the harsh look ever. Then turn around and tell you never to talk to me. I'm cold like that.

[Deedee]

One would think, ...unfortunately a few rotten apples have used 'common niceties' to demean, humiliate and make others feel uncomfortable. It's that ambiguity that makes it safer to simply avoid the whole situation to begin with. I suspect the draconian policies against simple niceties are more for the benefit of the HR departments who'd prefer not to get entangled in these potential messes, so they put them in their policies.

Apparently at our place that's exactly the case. I've been getting all the dish on how wild it used to be... considering how homogenous it is when I look around, seems I definitely missed all that. 

[Migs]

where i used to work, it was never a big deal.  UNless you crossed the line and did something really bad.  most everyone always hung out together and were pretty close.  So between our little circle alot was permitted.  People are too dang sensitive

[Deedee]

where i used to work, it was never a big deal.  UNless you crossed the line and did something really bad.  most everyone always hung out together and were pretty close.  So between our little circle alot was permitted.  People are too dang sensitive

Well in our case it's a bunch of neurotic, need a lot of stimulation, creative people. They tend to run amok without strict rules. Remember what I said about Prague? 

[Migs]

Well in our case it's a bunch of neurotic, need a lot of stimulation, creative people. They tend to run amok without strict rules. Remember what I said about Prague? 

yup i do remember.  I had afemale boss that was a party girl.  She salways looked nice (dressed well for her body type, etc).  She was enhanced and had no issues letting people know.  Anyway we would always talk about stupid crap and one night she took off her shirt showed me her boobs and gave me lap dances.  Gave other guiys dances too.  She also showed me her cookie.  damn i miss that job sometimes

[Deedee]

Just out of curiosity... what job was that, and how come you quit?

[Migs]

Just out of curiosity... what job was that, and how come you quit?

it was at a tech company.  I was let go for sexual harrasment 

just kidding, the company downsized and restructured

[Laura Lee]

This morning I passed by an older guy at work who was all dressed up...crisp shirt, tie, jacket and he looked really good. So I said "you look really nice today," knowing he wouldn't take it the wrong way. But then one of the women who overheard told me that constituted sexual harrassment as per company policy. I was floored and thought that was so nothing compared with some of the harrassment women endure and put up with... some of the stories I've heard from my girlfriends are absolutely shocking.

Two of mine, not so bad:

Getting hauled into the old, trollish president's office (three weeks after his wife passed away and he was having 6 martini lunches every day) and him telling me he heard I worked out, so I should take off my clothes and show him. 

Hugged and squeezed by an older co-worker and told "I love all my girls" when we were both working late one night and no one else was around.  (btw: he ended up having a one night fling with the office lunatic who ended up leaving him 80 voice mails and stalking him outside the office.)

Is telling someone they look nice, really sexual harrassment? 

Actually I just had to take a "Harrassment" class at work and no that does not constitute sexual harrassment.  Now maybe if you said "you fill out those trousers pretty nice Joe" THAT would, but telling someone they look really nice today does not.  There is a difference between a general compliment and sexually charged comment. 

The other two situations you described (well 3 with the fling) do.

[bmacsys]

Not getting to jump the bones of all the pretty girls I work with all day!

[Deedee]

Not getting to jump the bones of all the pretty girls I work with all day!

Lol, we all have our burden to bear. 

[Al-Gebra]

Lol, we all have our burden to bear. 

insomnia?

[Deedee]

insomnia?

Lol, I'm in Europa. It's a bright new shining day here. 

[Al-Gebra]

Lol, I'm in Europa. It's a bright new shining day here. 

On vacation? if you are, then mail your laptop back home and have fun.

[Deedee]

On vacation? if you are, then mail your laptop back home and have fun.

Sadly not on vacation... if I were I wouldn't be here.  But what about you?  How come you're not in jammies curled under the covers?

[Al-Gebra]

Sadly not on vacation... if I were I wouldn't be here.  But what about you?  How come you're not in jammies curled under the covers?

insomnia . . . i am actually in bed . . . good thing is I don't have to be up until 0815 tomorrow.

[Deedee]

insomnia . . . i am actually in bed . . . good thing is I don't have to be up until 0815 tomorrow.

Well if you hurry, depending on thine time zone, you can still get between 3-6 hours of blissful dreaming in. Wish that's what I was doing.