Ok peeps let me set this up for you, then I need to know if I am being an asshole (like I was called) for pointing out the principle of the issue which is; I should not have to pay twice because someone else neglected their parental responsibilities.
At the beginning of the year my daughter asked if she could attend driving school (a prerequisite in Maryland if you are under 18) to get her drivers license.
I agreed to pay the cost in full $200+; this covered class room time and behind the wheel (hands on) training (10 hrs with a driving school instructor).
The only stipulation was that if you miss a scheduled hands on training session there would be a $50 fee to reschedule (for obvious reasons) and this is to be paid in full before “hands on” could resume or be rescheduled.
My X, bless her soul, caused my daughter to miss a scheduled hand on (embarrassed to say why) and she wants me to pay it! I said “HMFN, you made her miss it you pay the $50” now I know a 50 spot is nothing but it’s the principle of the matter right?
I made good on my commitment (paying the cost ($200+) and providing transportation to and from the class every night for a week), I feel the least she (the X) could do is pay for her mistakes after all the X’s tardiness was the reason my daughter missed the hands on in the first place.
Instead of agreeing to pay the $50 fee she calls me a selfish asshole, needless to say I hung up the phone before I said something that would not help the situation, then again maybe the hang up didn’t help either! Anyway, my question to you, was I wrong?
yes. you were wrong, ...and you were being a selfish asshole. Please consider the following:
You agreed to pay the $200
+... emphasis on the
plus. ...meaning you were aware that it could be more than $200. While it was not YOUR fault, your daughter missed the class, she is the one penalized for it, ...and her training cannot continue until the additional $50 is paid. I doubt your ex would have asked you to cover it were it not a challenge for her to do so herself. Furthermore... regardless of whose fault it was that the class was missed, ...she is still your daughter. Pay the $50 and get it back from your ex at a later date. Or you can quibble and toss the $200 you already paid down the drain.
Bottom line is the classes need to resume. If you have a problem with potential additional future payouts due to your ex's tardiness, ...then take your daughter to her classes yourself. This way you know you will be on time.
Get it together with your ex-wife, settle your differences so your daughter is not the one who has to suffer for it.
ps - Your commitment is never complete so long as your daughter is alive. She's your daughter. You go the extra mile regardless. Your parental obligation does not end because your ex-wife doesn't come through. In such a case, your parental obligation only ramps up even further. Parenting is a team effort... even if both members of that team no longer live together, ...and when one team mate falls down, ...the other should be there to pick up the slack. You (meaning both you & the ex Mrs. HustleMan) have already failed her once by divorcing, ...don't fail her again by bickering with each other over something so trivial as $50. The principle you want to be focussing on is:
"My daughter is more important than $50."You can win the battle and lose the war, ...or you can lose a battle and win the war. The choice is yours.
