A Vegan crying rape

[Raymondo]

And here is a blog post from her attacker. Basically an admission of guilt.

"Funemployment was definitely eye opening. Some parts where amazing, others revealed deeper demons that I have been running away from for far too long.

I’ve decided to extend my time away so to speak. I’m going to seek some help. This means that I’ll be offline for a minimum of 6 weeks. No twitter, facebook, email or cell phone. I’m letting people who are much smarter and experienced than I am help me wade through the quagmire that is my brain. It is an intensive program highly regarded for the topics I need help with.



/thread

[The Grim Lifter]

Well, that's obviously not fair.

Here's the article, it was in the telegraph.

I have a friend who was a taxi driver, he said some girls would try shit that unless he let them not pay they would cry rape. He said he would drive straight to the police station.

Glad i read this thread. I had a chick hit on me pretty hard at work, she was 21, it was shift work so i didn't see her that much but after hitting on me i was asking her questions one day because i knew nothing about her and thought 21 was a bit young, and eventually asked her out once she left the job, but she was seeing someone then. Kind of bugged me i could have done it earlier but also worried about going out with someone at work when you need the job.

Don't get your meat where you get your bread? 

[phreak]

And here is a blog post from her attacker. Basically an admission of guilt.

"Funemployment was definitely eye opening. Some parts where amazing, others revealed deeper demons that I have been running away from for far too long.

I’ve decided to extend my time away so to speak. I’m going to seek some help. This means that I’ll be offline for a minimum of 6 weeks. No twitter, facebook, email or cell phone. I’m letting people who are much smarter and experienced than I am help me wade through the quagmire that is my brain. It is an intensive program highly regarded for the topics I need help with.

So he is coming to terms with being an alcoholic.  Alleged rapists don't get a lot of love and support from family and friends. Nice of you to take this out of context.

[King Shizzo]

Its kind of hard to finger someone, unless they let you do it. Raymondo can easily stop someone from putting something in his ass.

[phreak]

Its kind of hard to finger someone, unless they let you do it. Raymondo can easily stop someone from putting something in his ass.

Ain't nothing to it but to do it. And I don't think our resident feminist ever stops anyone from jamming anything in there.

[Raymondo]

I have a friend who was a taxi driver, he said some girls would try shit that unless he let them not pay they would cry rape. He said he would drive straight to the police station.

Glad i read this thread. I had a chick hit on me pretty hard at work, she was 21, it was shift work so i didn't see her that much but after hitting on me i was asking her questions one day because i knew nothing about her and thought 21 was a bit young, and eventually asked her out once she left the job, but she was seeing someone then. Kind of bugged me i could have done it earlier but also worried about going out with someone at work when you need the job.

Don't get your meat where you get your bread? 

I know couples who got together because they worked in the same place. More than one, actually. It's hard work, but it can happen.

[SquidVicious]

Chick has a serious alcohol problem, is in denial and uses it as a crutch when she wakes up in the morning feeling like a slut. Easier to blame the guy than herself.

[Bam-bam]

lots of virgins raymondo in this thread

[Army of One]

Its kind of hard to finger someone, unless they let you do it. Raymondo can easily stop someone from putting something in his ass.

[littledumbells]

 Moral of the story......if your a boss dont fuck with the minions. It , hardly, ever ends well. In this day and age its a no brainer

[Raymondo]

http://theotherzach.com/writes/2013/10/9/events

Events
October 9, 2013

This isn't a post that I want to write. It's a story about me and it's limited by my memory of a night. I've been making excuses for not writing this for months now and it's time to stop procrastinating.

The purpose of this post isn't anger and it's not closure. I'm posting it because right now our only recording of it is now a deleted tweet. It's all too easy to close our eyes and wish it didn't happen. I know, because that's how I've been spending the last few months. It's so much easier for me, as a able-bodied hetero white dude with a beard, to pretend that this doesn't happen and tune out. The purpose of the post is to make this harder to ignore.

Because this shit happened.

Trigger warnings for assault, I think I'm supposed to say.

January at a resort bar for a conference. I had been a member of the Columbus Ruby community for a few months and a professional developer for slightly less time. It was the first night of my first tech conference and I was standing there talking with another developer from Columbus.

It was slightly before midnight at the resort bar while the other developer and I were talking with a rotating set of people in one end of the space. Being new I knew almost nobody there; it was later and most of the crowd had already headed home.

Looking over, the other developer pointed out a thing. It could end up being an embarrassing story or the last image before a train wreck. I knew of the man, head of operations for North America of a company that ran the largest Ruby shop in Columbus. The woman was at least 15 years younger, at least 100 pounds lighter, and at least 2 tiers lower than him on the corporate hierarchy at the same company.

We went back to whatever conversation, naively not even considering the possibility of a train wreck. What I remember as 5 minutes later the other developer looked over and said something like "oh shit." I looked over and saw a train wreck, now in progress. The executive's posture and actions aggressive; "no" was not a possibility. She was visibly upset and shut down. That's an understatement. I saw somebody trapped in a nightmare, in public. That freeze frame is burned into my brain.

The other developer was also at least 2 tiers lower than the executive in the same corporate structure.  I think we both expected the universe to right itself.  A few seconds later, when it became apparent that this was not going to stop on its own, the other developer put a stop to it.

I don't know what would have happened if that other dev, now a dear friend, hadn't been there to step in. How much longer would her nightmare have continued? Would I have noticed? Would I have let myself notice? Would I have walked over and asked if everything was OK?

I don't know the answers to those questions and I hate myself for that. Never again, though. I will never be the bystander who "didn't want to get involved." The pre-trainwreck body language that I could lie to myself about before is now crystal clear. That sense that something's wrong. I will walk over and say something self deprecating to give whatever future woman a chance to disentangle herself. No matter how powerful he might be in a very small community, no matter how little I know about the people or the situation.

I'll have to because I cannot live with feeling this way again.

[Raymondo]

"I Am The "Other Developer".
2013-10-11 22:08:12 UTC

Hi. I'm Matt Darby. I'm the other dev.

I've sat on this story and have thought many things about the people involved; but first I want to give you a 10000 foot view of who I am so that you may understand my perspectives.

    Wonderful marriage with my best friend of 17 years (50% of my life).
    Father to a daughter who makes my world revolve.
    Professor, Master's Degree holder.
    Son to an alcoholic Father and a single Mother.
    Raised by women.
    Former boyfriend of a 15 year old girl who was raped.
    I've worked in thirteen prisons with actual inmates.
    Friends for years to both parties involved in this story.
    The guy who stopped the event in this recounting.

So.

This is as impartial as I can make the recount. I styled this as though it is a witness statement -- devoid of judgement and feeling. Draw any conclusions you will. My only hope is to tell what I saw.

This happened at CodeMash 2013. This was after hours, the day before the pre-compiler started. I was helping to run a workshop with another fellow, and (full disclosure) my ticket and place at that workshop was secured through Joe, who was my boss at the time.

I met Justine, Joe, and a few others for dinner at the Kalahari. We were all having fun and drinking as adults like to do. I believe my first drink was a couple behind everyone elses.

We hung out, mixing and socializing with various groups of people as you would do at a conference; all the while drinking at a normal pace. All was fine. All were having a great time.

Fast forward to (from what I remember), around 1am. I was standing with Zach Briggs, just shooting the breeze. I was watching Joe and Justine at the bar.

Joe was seated next to Justine and there were many people around. Joe was getting visably hammered, but not incoherent, as I was talking to him now and again.

Joe started creeping on Justine. At first it was a hug, or an arm around the shoulders; friendly, drunken comraderie that they both were engaged in. Friends.

Joe started to get a little more familiar and was running his hand down her back and patting at her butt (she was seated). I noticed, and I watched. It was getting creepy, but Justine didn't move, or slap him. She was laughing, I figured it was nothing huge.

This continued for a few moments, then Justine got up on the bar, laid down in front of him, and the bartender poured a shot into her navel area. Joe slurped it up, then kissed her up the stomach until he got to, and chomped down, on her shirt-covered left breast. I was standing two feet away. I don't know who's idea this was.

Justine sat down, and Joe picked up the pace. He was really rubbing on her, and it got to the point where I felt uncomfortable for both of them. This lasted for about two minutes. His hands were admittedly all over her.

I was talking with Zach and Mike Eaton, who had just come over to us, and I said "I'll be right back" and walked over to diffuse the situation. I did this both of them equally. Joe has a family, and was extremely drunk, and was out of control. Justine was a friend, drinking as well, and I couldn't imagine she was wanting this.

I stepped over to both of them, touched Justine on the back and asked if she wanted to go have a cigarette (she smokes, I don't). She said yes, and she got up and followed me out of the bar. Joe didn't move, nor say anything to either of us.

I walked her out of eye sight and she started to cry. She thanked me profusely and was immediately worried about her job. I walked her to her room, then went to my room, and bed myself.

This is the impartial story. I was there. I was the one that stopped it. No sugar coating, no spin. My feelings on the matter have no meaning to those outside of the close few that were there; so I will save my breath. I wanted what I saw to be entered into the record for completeness sake. I don't want noterity from a bad situation -- again, I was helping both of them equally.

I'm sure you have a few questions, that I will answer here:

    Do you think you acted quickly enough? -- Yes. I acted when I thought I should. I was watching.
    Have you talked with Joe since? -- Yes. I've had lunch with him a couple times.
    Do you think he's a predator? -- No. I think he has issues like anyone else and he made several very, very bad decisions that night. I know that he has taken steps to help his issues.
    Are you protecting him? -- No. He's a grown man, and I have no responsibility for him.
    Was there an investigation? -- Via HR, yes. I feel they handled the situation appropriately. As far as I know, no police were ever involved.
    Would you walk out of a conference if he was there? -- No. If you choose to do so and waste your money, feel free.
    Am I for pleasant, inclusive space for all? -- Yes. I like everyone. I have no grudge nor hidden resentment towards any race, creed, color, gender, etc.
    Why did it take you so long to write this? -- I felt for a long time that it wasn't my place. I feel that Joe has suffered quite a lot, and is paying for his actions. Again, I'm not protecting him; that is my feeling on the subject.
    Are you afraid of the Twitter Horde backlashing against you? -- No. I'm being very subjective and honest. If that impacts me negatively then I have nothing to apologize for.
    Should Joe apologize? -- That is between Joe and Justine. I feel that he owes no apology or explaination to anyone else, outside of his wife and family.
    Should he tell his side? -- That is up to him. If he chooses silence, then there will be silence.
    Have you been in contact with Justine since? -- Yes, on several occasions. If you have more questions about her, you should ask her.

— Matt Darby
October 11th, 2013

[WOOO]

coles notes anyone?