Author Topic: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...  (Read 11314 times)

ToxicAvenger

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you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« on: June 27, 2006, 10:10:23 AM »
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
carpe` vaginum!

Al-Gebra

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2006, 10:41:58 AM »
that was pretty good. i wish there was a way to work the lates rush limbaugh escapade into that list.

ToxicAvenger

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2006, 11:03:11 AM »
the lates rush limbaugh

damn he died???
carpe` vaginum!

Dos Equis

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2006, 11:16:14 AM »
Well, no. 1 is the only item that isn't just plain silly.  Many atheists spend an ordinate amount of time reading the Bible and studying church history and know much more than I do.  Weird. 

Butterbean

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2006, 03:29:46 PM »
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.


I have to agree w/Beach Bum...this one is kind of silly

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.



I wouldn't define 0.01% as a "high success rate" of anything.  I also wouldn't "consider that to be evidence that prayer works."



3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.



Actually, modern science, history, geology, biology and physics enforce my belief in God.  But a person "rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues'" doesn't "prove" Christianity to me.



4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


I would never say that Christianity is the most "tolerant religion."



5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.



 ???



6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.


I don't laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans.  I don't think it's funny :-\



7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!



Of course I (figuratively) "flinch" at all those things. 



8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.


Once again, not funny...no laughing :-\


9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.



I don't believe in evolution but it doesn't insult or dehumanize me.




10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.


I definitely don't feel outraged....more like sad.  And I don't VIGOROUSLY deny....etc.



Gosh lee, all this time I thought I was a Christian Fundy, but I guess I'm not :'(






 :)


R

Migs

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2006, 03:40:47 PM »
congrats

Al-Gebra

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2006, 07:41:34 PM »
Stella, a lot of the old testament is set during the bronze age and immediately after . . . which is why bronze figures so prminently in it . . . bronze spears, temple stuff, etc. 

Bigger Business

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2006, 07:47:02 PM »
bronze   ;D



Hedgehog

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2006, 01:19:26 AM »
The fact is that only one part of the Bible can be considered the absolute words of God - The Ten Commandments.

So how credible is the rest?

Why should Christians believe the Bible when most of it is not directly written by either God or any of his prophets?

The Quran has a different level of credibility, since it was written by God himself, through Mohammed.

YIP
Zack
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Al-Gebra

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2006, 01:28:44 AM »
well, the bible claims that kind of legitimacy for itself too
John 10

33"We are not stoning you for any of these," replied the Jews, "but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God."

 34Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, 'I have said you are gods'[e]? 35If he called them 'gods,' to whom the word of God came—and the Scripture cannot be broken— 36what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world?

Hedgehog

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2006, 01:37:51 AM »
well, the bible claims that kind of legitimacy for itself too
John 10

33"We are not stoning you for any of these," replied the Jews, "but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God."

 34Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, 'I have said you are gods'[e]? 35If he called them 'gods,' to whom the word of God came—and the Scripture cannot be broken— 36what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world?

Well, those who wrote the Bible were no prophets, and wrote the stuff down several years after the events took place (in the case of the Gospels).

The writings in the Old Testament could be questioned even more.

Except the Ten Commandments of course.

The Quran puts itself on a higher level by claiming to be directly the words from God.

YIP
Zack
As empty as paradise

Hedgehog

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2006, 01:41:45 AM »
Of course, being written by man makes the Bible and the Religion in itself, Christianity, easier to interpret.

That's why you can find many people calling themselves Christians despite being gay, despite being supporters of death penalty and long sentencing and other acts which you would be very hardpressed to find support for in the Bible.

YIP
Zack
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ToxicAvenger

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2006, 07:52:34 AM »
The fact is that only one part of the Bible can be considered the absolute words of God - The Ten Commandments.

So how credible is the rest?

Why should Christians believe the Bible when most of it is not directly written by either God or any of his prophets?

The Quran has a different level of credibility, since it was written by God himself, through Mohammed.

YIP
Zack

daddy..?  ???
carpe` vaginum!

ToxicAvenger

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2006, 07:53:48 AM »
ooo ooo muslims believe the bible ws written by god...revealed to jesus..
carpe` vaginum!

Dos Equis

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2006, 09:18:00 AM »
Well, those who wrote the Bible were no prophets, and wrote the stuff down several years after the events took place (in the case of the Gospels).

The writings in the Old Testament could be questioned even more.

Except the Ten Commandments of course.

The Quran puts itself on a higher level by claiming to be directly the words from God.

YIP
Zack

Actually a lot of Old Testament verses are either quoted or cited in the New Testament.  And there are tons of Old Testament verses that are noncontroversial and that can be applied to everyday living.

ToxicAvenger

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2006, 09:58:53 AM »
Actually a lot of Old Testament verses are either quoted or cited in the New Testament.  And there are tons of Old Testament verses that are noncontroversial and that can be applied to everyday living.

still hedgie does have a point (and so does dad)

if quran is the latest version of whats god is putting out..and the old ones have been changed by man..why not go with the latest version?
carpe` vaginum!

IronGame

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2006, 10:02:13 AM »
you might be a christian fundamentalist if...

You believe Pat Robertson actually legpressed 1,000 lbs
white belt for life

Butterbean

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2006, 10:54:25 AM »
still hedgie does have a point (and so does dad)

if quran is the latest version of whats god is putting out..and the old ones have been changed by man..why not go with the latest version?

I don't think that the quran is the latest version of what God is putting out.  It contradicts way too much w/the bible......can't be "written" by the same God.

R

Colossus_500

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2006, 01:10:31 PM »
Quote from: STella
I don't think that the quran is the latest version of what God is putting out.  It contradicts way too much w/the bible......can't be "written" by the same God.
Agreed!  No way whatsoever is the quran God's latest written word. 

ToxicAvenger

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2006, 01:32:22 PM »
I don't think that the quran is the latest version of what God is putting out.  It contradicts way too much w/the bible......can't be "written" by the same God.



it contradicts the bible cause the bible ws changed by man...its much much older than the quran..

muslims believe in the bible..they just say the original ws lost and or changed...

jesus is considered just another prophet ..like mohammed..no more..no less...

mohammed is given a certain prestige is cause he is the last..

abrahim came with the torah..
jesus with bible
mohammed with quran..
carpe` vaginum!

ToxicAvenger

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2006, 01:33:15 PM »
Agreed!  No way whatsoever is the quran God's latest written word. 

well thats what muslims believe anyhow...
carpe` vaginum!

OzmO

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2006, 05:13:28 PM »
still hedgie does have a point (and so does dad)

if quran is the latest version of whats god is putting out..and the old ones have been changed by man..why not go with the latest version?

Because in the latest version ants talk to Mohamad.

OzmO

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2006, 05:15:36 PM »
Well, no. 1 is the only item that isn't just plain silly.  Many atheists spend an ordinate amount of time reading the Bible and studying church history and know much more than I do.  Weird. 

It's wierd, but not suprising.  Some of the time it's becuase of this research that they became Atheists while other times it's becuase they had to defend themselves in debates.   

Dos Equis

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2006, 09:13:05 PM »
It's wierd, but not suprising.  Some of the time it's becuase of this research that they became Atheists while other times it's becuase they had to defend themselves in debates.   

I doubt it's because of research.  You mean researching the Bible, church history, etc. would cause someone to stop believing in God?  I don't buy this in part because they continue to read and debate the Bible even after their conversion.  And why would an atheist need to defend himself or herself? 

For many of them, I tend to think it's because they suffered some tragedy, hardship, tough time, etc. and believe God abandoned them. 

Al-Gebra

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Re: you might be a christian fundamentalist if...
« Reply #24 on: June 28, 2006, 10:05:48 PM »
"Even though you've been raised as a human being you're not one of them. They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you... my only son "