How I achieved my goal of 4% body fat by eating peanuts out of my own shit.
By The True Adonis
You might say this is pretty astonishing, but then you might be one of those mere ignorami who subscribe to the idea that you’ve got to ‘eat right’ to lose weight. Well, I’m here to blow holes in that silly myth. I achieved 4 % body fat by eating the peanuts, pea husks, and other caloric legumes out of my own shit. Oh, and with a little Vodka sauce, which is a combination of savory tomatoes, olive oil, cheeses, basil, garlic, oregano and a kick of vodka. Emeril has some very good vodka sauce. I eat it all the time, with the peanuts out of my own shit, of course.
You see, a calorie is calorie, and one simply needs to consume less calories, no matter what they are, than one burns. Cardio is not necessary, because I have this ‘equation’ wherein I consider the thermal and mechanical output of my body, calculate my basal metabolic rate, and simply eat less than that.
Eating the peanuts out of my own shit makes it even easier. This is because I get the full caloric value out of the legume, instead of this mythological “calorie value” you’re supposed to get from the first time around. I find it takes at least three passages to get the full flavor and caloric content from my legumes.
Sometimes I eat the peanuts out of my own shit with a Burger King Whopper. Of course, then I’m eating the sesame seeds out of my own shit for a day or two, which are quite good with Vodka sauce…Did I mention that Emeril has some very good vodka sauce?
QUOTED 2007
