i tend to think you should just try it on anyway, just go ahead and do what turns u on,,,,,, its only when they say NO theres a problem, u cant just lye there and expect them to read your mind and know exactly how to please u,,,, saying that ive found most the best ones tend to show there cards early on, ive also found my best sex sessions are with women who are impossible to be with full time, the plain easy going types dont seem to have the filth in them,,, thats just my experience of it all.