Author Topic: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)  (Read 3702 times)

The True Adonis

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wes

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2014, 10:36:18 AM »
That looks damn good.

dr.chimps

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2014, 11:26:21 AM »
Looks amazing. And generous with the pecans. I do love me some pecans. 

King Shizzo

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2014, 11:28:32 AM »
Mr. Adonis, We all love your recipes. Could you please post a pic of yourself next to one of you fabulous creations?

We want to give the chef his proper due.

Grape Ape

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2014, 11:28:43 AM »
Cat is looking for the hummingbirds in the cake
Y

Rambone

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2014, 11:28:48 AM »
Looks more moist than a fresh piece of snatch

bradistani

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2014, 11:28:57 AM »
you'll end up getting fat eating shit like that

Grape Ape

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2014, 11:30:49 AM »
you'll end up getting fat eating shit like that

Actually, there's a theory out there  whose details espcape me, but the gist of it is that as long as you consume adequate protein, get your RDA minimums, and keep the calories around 2k, you can make up the difference between the protein and the macros with anything, but still get ripped.

Can't recall the author though, or I'd give a link.
Y

Rami

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2014, 11:31:40 AM »
drug like

The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2014, 11:32:46 AM »
you'll end up getting fat eating shit like that
No you won`t.  Its just food.

El Diablo Blanco

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2014, 11:33:46 AM »
No you won`t.  Its just food.

Right, because people never get fat off of food

The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2014, 11:34:14 AM »
Mr. Adonis, We all love your recipes. Could you please post a pic of yourself next to one of you fabulous creations?

We want to give the chef his proper due.
::)

Yes, because I don`t own a white cat with one blue and one yellow eye.  

The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2014, 11:35:09 AM »
Right, because people never get fat off of food
Not in maintenance or a slight caloric deficit.

_bruce_

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #13 on: April 28, 2014, 11:36:54 AM »
Cat is looking for the hummingbirds in the cake

 ;D
.

King Shizzo

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #14 on: April 28, 2014, 11:38:59 AM »
::)

Yes, because I don`t own a white cat with one blue and one yellow eye.  
I don't follow  ???  I just wish you would get the praise you deserve.

Straw Man

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #15 on: April 28, 2014, 11:42:16 AM »
Actually, there's a theory out there  whose details espcape me, but the gist of it is that as long as you consume adequate protein, get your RDA minimums, and keep the calories around 2k, you can make up the difference between the protein and the macros with anything, but still get ripped.

Can't recall the author though, or I'd give a link.

the "author" is the first person who ever went on a diet and then literally hundreds of  millions of other people after that

it's usually used as a gimmick to help lazy/stupid people

Modern day examples would be Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, etc..

Or just go to any local bookstore and you'll find hundreds of variations on the same theme


The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #16 on: April 28, 2014, 11:43:45 AM »
the "author" is the first person who ever went on a diet and then literally hundreds of  millions of other people after that

it's usually used as a gimmick to help lazy/stupid people

Modern day examples would be Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, etc..

Or just go to any local bookstore and you'll find hundreds of variations on the same theme


Whats your excuse for looking like shit, despite all the effete food hating and low calorie kale chips you ingest because Michelle Obama said it was "nutritious".

The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2014, 11:45:27 AM »
Think you missed that one, dude.....
No matter, he always misses the mark.  ;)

bradistani

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #18 on: April 28, 2014, 11:50:32 AM »
No you won`t.  Its just food.

until you end up diabetic with all that sugar and heart disease

does look excellently well made though.. to bad cake isn't my thing

Straw Man

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #19 on: April 28, 2014, 11:51:19 AM »
Whats your excuse for looking like shit, despite all the effete food hating and low calorie kale chips you ingest because Michelle Obama said it was "nutritious".

you have no idea what I look like moron

wash the sand out of your pussy and stop pretending you invented something that humans have been doing forever

Hulkotron

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #20 on: April 28, 2014, 12:17:02 PM »
Looks great

El Diablo Blanco

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #21 on: April 28, 2014, 12:18:52 PM »
Will you post the fucking recipe already.  Please

The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #22 on: April 28, 2014, 12:28:59 PM »
until you end up diabetic with all that sugar and heart disease

does look excellently well made though.. to bad cake isn't my thing
How is that gonna happen with my Macros about 100-120 grams of protein, Carbs 275-350 and fat around 70-100 a day?  ???

The True Adonis

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #23 on: April 28, 2014, 12:29:58 PM »
Will you post the fucking recipe already.  Please
Southern Hummingbird Cake

Serves 12 to 16

Toast a total of 2 cups of pecans to divide between the cake and the frosting. The cake will slice more cleanly if you refrigerate it for at least 1 hour.
Ingredients

    CAKE
    2 (8-ounce) cans crushed pineapple in juice
    3 cups (15 ounces) all-purpose flour
    2 teaspoons baking powder
    1 teaspoon baking soda
    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    1 teaspoon salt
    2 cups (14 ounces) granulated sugar
    3 large eggs
    1 cup vegetable oil
    4 very ripe large bananas, peeled and mashed (2 cups)
    1 1/2 cups pecans, toasted and chopped
    2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    FROSTING
    20 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
    5 cups (20 ounces) confectioners' sugar
    2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    20 ounces cream cheese, chilled and cut into 20 equal pieces
    1/2 cup pecans, toasted and chopped

Instructions

    1. FOR THE CAKE: Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 2 light-colored 9-inch round cake pans, line with parchment paper, grease parchment, and flour pans. Drain pineapple in fine-mesh strainer set over bowl, pressing to remove juice. Pour juice into small saucepan and cook over medium heat until reduced to 1/3 cup, about 5 minutes; set aside.

    2. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt together in bowl. Whisk sugar and eggs together in separate large bowl; whisk in oil. Stir in bananas, pecans, vanilla, drained pineapple, and reduced pineapple juice. Stir in flour mixture until just combined.

    3. Divide batter evenly between prepared pans and smooth tops with rubber spatula. Bake until dark golden brown on top and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 50 to 55 minutes, rotating pans halfway through baking. Let cakes cool in pans on wire rack for 20 minutes. Remove cakes from pans, discarding parchment, and let cool completely on rack, about 2 hours.

    4. FOR THE FROSTING: Using stand mixer fitted with paddle, beat butter, sugar, vanilla, and salt together on low speed until smooth; continue to mix for 2 minutes, scraping down bowl as needed. Increase speed to medium-low, add cream cheese 1 piece at a time, and mix until smooth; continue to mix for 2 minutes.

    5. Place 1 cake layer on platter. Spread 2 cups frosting evenly over top, right to edge of cake. Top with second cake layer, press lightly to adhere, then spread 2 cups frosting evenly over top. Spread remaining frosting evenly over sides of cake. To smooth frosting, run edge of offset spatula around cake sides and over top. Sprinkle top of cake with pecans. Refrigerate cake for at least 1 hour before serving. (Cake can be refrigerated for up to 2 days.)

Alpine

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Re: My 14,000 Calorie Hummingbird Cake (aka Breakfast and Dessert)
« Reply #24 on: April 28, 2014, 12:31:27 PM »


You would have a fucking cat. Jesus Christ get it away from that delicious cake. Filthy felines.