Background - I'm a 55 yr old former bodybuilding douchebag and been married 4x ( 3 divorces).
I'm currently happily married to wife #4 and learned some things the hard way LOL.
I teach physics and live in North Georgia.
Marriage
1.Partnership - Marriage is all about building a life with a loving PARTNER at your side. Both people need to work and have a stable career.
A man doesn't need to dominate and control his wife. He herds her along with gentle persuasion and by his own example.
BOTH people need to work and bring something to the table. It's the only way to be true partners and maintain mutual respect and dignity.
2. Age - Don't even think about getting married in your 20's.
a) age 35 is the minimum age anyone who doesn't really want kids to get married. 40 is even better, especially for men.
b) age 30 for a woman who wants to have kids with a mature man ( at least 30) who really wants to be a dad.
That's young enough to have a healthy , safe birth , BUT be mature enough to deal with the demands of parenthood.
3. Personal choice - Do NOT let religious doctrine or tradition rule your decisions when it comes to marriage.
a) I have a basic spiritual belief in GOD, but, I wouldn't let some Priest, Rabi or Pastor tell you, how you should live when married.
What's good for organized religion may NOT be in a married couple's personal interest.
For example, the catholic church is still against most forms of birth control , even for married couples. WTF!
b) Breaking marital traditions just to be different or obnoxious is dumb. For example, I thought that goofy choreographed dance , down the aisle video, was stupid and self serving to get attention. Blindly following tradition when it doesn't feel right is even worse then some goofy dance. For example, don't live beside parents or in-laws because "that's just what you do", could be marital disaster.
4. Having children - I never had kids and considered them to be a major source of work, money and stress . But that's me and many others feel blessed and rewarded by having children.
a. Too many people have kids by "accident". The man shoots his load into his girl , oops , and 9 months later a baby. That's careless and unfair to everyone involved. I used "withdrawal" to prevent unwanted pregnancy. I know what the naysayers think about withdrawal, but it's near impossible to get a girl pregnant IF you pull out 8-10 sec BEFORE ejaculation. Of course this assume the man can control his dick from shooting at will LOL. Being able to exhibit some basic dick control will make any man a much better lover.
b. Many couples get even closer when they PLAN the pregnancy and birth, etc. If a woman is with a man that isn't into being a dad, find another one to impregnate her or she should raise it on her own. If a woman tries to pressure or manipulate a man into getting her pregnant...RUN!
c. From what I've observed kids can be real marriage killers . The couple needs to work as a loving team to raise the kids. I've also heard it can be the both the most demanding and rewarding task anyone could take on. Having kids isn't a lukewarm deal, you will either love it or hate it for many years. Listen to your heart and if you have any doubts about having children...DON'T.
d. The terms "baby mama and baby daddy" make me cringe. This " whatever" attitude about pregnancy and parenting is dumb.
If you want kids, great, work together to raise the kids. If you don't want to be a parent, avoid getting a woman pregnant.
Humans are NOT animals,so use some self control and birth control.
5. Fidelity - If you want to screw around, don't get married. Just stay single or get divorced.
Don't give that , "it was an accident or mistake" crap when it comes to screwing around on your spouse.
An accident is slipping and falling. Unless you slipped and fell into her vavjaja, it was no mistake.
6. LIFE - My most cherished moments with my wife is when we just relax in bed watching some goofy show or movie , together.
Real life has many tedious times, for EVERYONE. Life and marriage isn't meant to be a amusement park. The key is to enjoy the basic stuff as much as the sex and fun times.
next up - SEX
