the fact you are counting calories tells me you still have a problem
Of course. Problems don't just go away over night... I stopped counting for a day or two, but figured it doesn't make sense to stop now, of all times. I want to see what happens at 2500-3000 calories, a 500 calorie increase.
When I first 'bulked', I jumped straight to 4000 calories, then 4500 very shortly after, and put on weight like crazy. I had never counted calories before or eaten in a consistent way for a long period.
This time I'm trying a different way. Before, I was terrified of not gaining weight. I never believed I could gain an ounce without gorging myself.
Now, I want to see if I can find a truly healthy way of eating. A way that gives me strength and mental health, keeping me lean and muscular, about 180 lbs. Efficient meal making, both in time and cost. Easy on the stomach. Flexible: easy planning, eating out with friends. Tasty, and enjoyable to prepare.
In other words, a way of eating that you and many other people probably have no trouble achieving instinctually. Well, I'm happy for you, but for me it's not so easy. I've always worried about how to eat, maybe for reasons that require 'professional help', in your eyes. Nonetheless, I'm determined to figure it out on my own.
Clearly you find my way of thinking crazy; well, it may be. But i think i can help myself. Thinking the way i do, Ive been able to hit the ceiling and rock bottom, in terms of bodyweight -- over 90 lbs difference between the two, at the same height. I know how to change my weight. Now, my challenge: balancing everything to achieve health.
Calorie counting is arduous and time consuming at times, but it can also put my mind at rest, as it helps free me from doubt. As a temporary tool, it can help me. One day, I'll be able to abandon it.
