Things Bluto's 'dad' told him in the 'Birds and Bees' talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kiwiol]

Bluto's obviously very confused about his sexual orientation and even more, about his gender. He's almost come out of the closet, but needs a little bit of help from us to officially step over the line to get a formal 'full blown queer' status. This turned me to wondering what his 'dad' might have told him during the 'birds and bees' talk when Bluto was about 11 or 12 (just before he popped Bluto's anal cherry). Let's make up a list, shall we? I'll start:

1) Real men don't spit, they swallow

Your turn boys

[kiwiol]

DPs are overrated and for pussys. You should continue with the family tradition of taking TPs

[Havenbull]

2) Terd Pushing is manly and has been done in our family for generations

[Fury]

3) You aren't considered a man until you take 12" of Negroid Terror to the hilt.

[chaos]

it's OK to cry while biting the pillow

[Havenbull]

5)  When someone says "Hey, you have a strange pearly liquid rope streaming across your left eye to the right side of your chin".....it's not necessarily a bad thing

[beatmaster]

don't worry, your gonna walk funny for a couple of days, but it will come back, thats the only way son!!!

[chaos]

don't neglect the balls, son

[beatmaster]

'' and if you can go deep throat its a bonus, open your mouth i'll show you'' gllllrllglllgggllllllrrr lrlrllll....

[Havenbull]

don't worry son... that blood stream trickling down your leg when you woke up is known as "sphincter sweat"

[davidpaul]

blutos dad fucks him in his back pussy.

[BigCypriate]

....."If you wanna be a man, you gotta take it up the can"

[The Squadfather]

hahahahahaha, when "bluto" was a kid his mom came home and caught "him" wearing his sisters bikini and high heels and giving five of the neighborhood dads blowjobs and when his mom asked him what he was doing he said, "oh.......hi mom, i'm just copying what i saw daddy doing with his softball team after the game the other day", hahahahahaha, gayer than Nilla wafers.

[Man of Steel]

"....and son, remember, the next time you're throat deep on some grizzled slob's pecker, don't allow him to grab the back of your head and manhandle you.   You look that hefty bear straight in his face with the softest bedroom eyes you can muster and in your sluttiest manwhore voice snarl, "hey stud, hands off the merchandise, ole Bluto's gonna take good care of his man."

[BigCypriate]

"....and son, remember, the next time you're throat deep on some grizzled slob's pecker, don't allow him to grab the back of your head and manhandle you.   You look that hefty bear straight in his face with the softest bedroom eyes you can muster and in your sluttiest manwhore voice snarl, "hey stud, hands off the merchandise, ole Bluto's gonna take good care of his man."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Man of Steel]

hahahahahaha, when "bluto" was a kid his mom came home and caught "him" wearing his sisters bikini and high heels and giving five of the neighborhood dads blowjobs and when his mom asked him what he was doing he said, "oh.......hi mom, i'm just copying what i saw daddy doing with his softball team after the game the other day", hahahahahaha, gayer than Nilla wafers.

AHAAHHAHAH!!!  "daddy doing with his softball team"

[Havenbull]

"....and son, remember, the next time you're throat deep on some grizzled slob's pecker, don't allow him to grab the back of your head and manhandle you.   You look that hefty bear straight in his face with the softest bedroom eyes you can muster and in your sluttiest manwhore voice snarl, "hey stud, hands off the merchandise, ole Bluto's gonna take good care of his man."

barahahahahackahahahahba mahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

[drkaje]

"....and son, remember, the next time you're throat deep on some grizzled slob's pecker, don't allow him to grab the back of your head and manhandle you.   You look that hefty bear straight in his face with the softest bedroom eyes you can muster and in your sluttiest manwhore voice snarl, "hey stud, hands off the merchandise, ole Bluto's gonna take good care of his man."

LOFL!!

[Havenbull]

"...and Bluto Jr. remember, that when some tattooed mustacheiode bison of a man is vomit force shoving his dick into your mouth repeatedly and violently, make sure you're clean shaven, cause you don't want your upchucked breakfast drying in your stubble."