Tbombz (any updates?)

[Simple Simon]

LOL

Be warned; epic novel drug addict life story ahead.

I went through something very similar to tbomz (minus te AIDs and gay prostitution stuff), and it took me years of an uphill struggle to get over it.

After my full blown daily addiction "im doing what i want" middle finger in the air addiction, i went to treatment and soon followed a long up and down of substance changes and sobriety/relapse episodes.... 6 months sober, 1 weeke relapse... then 8 months sober, 1 weekend relapse....

This went on for 2 or 3 years, until i met my wife and got married. Shes vehemently anti drug, as her mother lost herself to drugs in her teenage years and died from an OD. She has been a godsend to me. I wouldnt be sober now if it werent for her.

Upon reflection, my issues stemmed from a controlling parent who never really allowed me to grow up, and my own stubborness and stupidity that drove me to piss her off. This isnt an excuse, but its what kickstarted my behavioral issues as i never was a troubled child growing up.

After i got married, i still would have episodes where id randomly lose control and buy a bag of dope. It took my wife getting pregnant and almost leaving for me to get my shit really straight. If she hadnt packed her shit and ealked out one day, id probably still be struggling.

As it is, ive been years sober and it gets easier everday. I still have moments where the cravings hit, but i dont shake and sweat anymore when it happens, and i dont feel helpless, weak, and unable to contril my own impulses anymore.

I think thats why tbombz found god.... everyone has to find something that they can use as a rock until they get control of their own body and life back. And its really hard when the cravings hit in the beginning if you dont have something that's important enough that you cannot stand the thought of losing it, or failing it/them. After a while you get your self control back and it becomes easier.... but that initial stage is critical.

You forgot to say shes 22.

[TrueGrit]

LOL

Be warned; epic novel drug addict life story ahead.

I went through something very similar to tbomz (minus te AIDs and gay prostitution stuff), and it took me years of an uphill struggle to get over it.

After my full blown daily addiction "im doing what i want" middle finger in the air addiction, i went to treatment and soon followed a long up and down of substance changes and sobriety/relapse episodes.... 6 months sober, 1 weeke relapse... then 8 months sober, 1 weekend relapse....

This went on for 2 or 3 years, until i met my wife and got married. Shes vehemently anti drug, as her mother lost herself to drugs in her teenage years and died from an OD. She has been a godsend to me. I wouldnt be sober now if it werent for her.

Upon reflection, my issues stemmed from a controlling parent who never really allowed me to grow up, and my own stubborness and stupidity that drove me to piss her off. This isnt an excuse, but its what kickstarted my behavioral issues as i never was a troubled child growing up.

After i got married, i still would have episodes where id randomly lose control and buy a bag of dope. It took my wife getting pregnant and almost leaving for me to get my shit really straight. If she hadnt packed her shit and ealked out one day, id probably still be struggling.

As it is, ive been years sober and it gets easier everday. I still have moments where the cravings hit, but i dont shake and sweat anymore when it happens, and i dont feel helpless, weak, and unable to contril my own impulses anymore.

I think thats why tbombz found god.... everyone has to find something that they can use as a rock until they get control of their own body and life back. And its really hard when the cravings hit in the beginning if you dont have something that's important enough that you cannot stand the thought of losing it, or failing it/them. After a while you get your self control back and it becomes easier.... but that initial stage is critical.

The love of a good woman.....

[BigCyp]

I've spoken with Tbombz on several occassions and he's a man changed by Christ.  

Today he's just putting his life in order and working to make past mistakes right.  

Still, every conversation I've had with the man tells me he loves God, that he recognizes what he's done and that he's not focused on any of y'all.

All I know is that I'm going to continue to encourage him.....the rest of y'all can do whatever you want.

That's so encouraging to hear - does he respond to pm on here?

[Shockwave]

The love of a good woman.....

Yeah. She is hyper loyal and when she packed her shit and headed out the door, i was so stubborn and fucked up I actually told her to GTFO several timrs.

As soon as i calmed down and woke up the next morning alone, it hit me like a ton bricks.... i had fucked up. Badly.  She didnt want to come back. She was ready to get a divorce. But we talked and she reluctantly came back.

Our relationship has since become rock solid since i realized how much i really loved her and took her for granted, and she realized how important she was to me when i kicked a $200/day heroin habit and was puking and shitting my guts out for weeks, amd havent touched it since.

I see a lot of parallels between Taylor's life and mine. Hell we were even both fat kids that lost a bunch of weight before we got crazy woth drugs.

Hes far more impulsive and less disciplined than i was though. I was always more humble and quite than he was. I hit it fast and hard and burned out quickly, but it seems like Taylor would swing all over the place even worse than I did. He was suddenly balls deep in BB, then balls deep in drugs, then balls deep in his asshole, then suddenly balls deep in god.

I hope he can level himself out and find some kind of balance... that 'all or nothing, go big or go home' attitude is a large part of the issues i had, i had no balance in my life. When i wasnt obsesswd with something that was giving me mental stimulation, i was lost and bored. Its dangerous. He needs to balance out his life and be able to focus on the important things instead of the constant 'instant gratification'.

[Schnauzer]

[Radical Plato]

Whats wrong with being a full christian, would you prefer a person devote themselves to christianity or  do drugs and alcohol use your common sense.

I prefer them to use drugs and alcohol.  Religion is a far greater poison.

[Garbage Man]

Is this thread true?

[Man of Steel]

That's so encouraging to hear - does he respond to pm on here?

It's always encouraging for me to hear about a life changed for good. 

He responded awhile back, but I haven't spoken to him in a while now. 

Got the impression he was just concentrating full-time on getting things together.

[The True Adonis]

Yeah. She is hyper loyal and when she packed her shit and headed out the door, i was so stubborn and fucked up I actually told her to GTFO several timrs.

As soon as i calmed down and woke up the next morning alone, it hit me like a ton bricks.... i had fucked up. Badly.  She didnt want to come back. She was ready to get a divorce. But we talked and she reluctantly came back.

Our relationship has since become rock solid since i realized how much i really loved her and took her for granted, and she realized how important she was to me when i kicked a $200/day heroin habit and was puking and shitting my guts out for weeks, amd havent touched it since.

I see a lot of parallels between Taylor's life and mine. Hell we were even both fat kids that lost a bunch of weight before we got crazy woth drugs.

Hes far more impulsive and less disciplined than i was though. I was always more humble and quite than he was. I hit it fast and hard and burned out quickly, but it seems like Taylor would swing all over the place even worse than I did. He was suddenly balls deep in BB, then balls deep in drugs, then balls deep in his asshole, then suddenly balls deep in god.

I hope he can level himself out and find some kind of balance... that 'all or nothing, go big or go home' attitude is a large part of the issues i had, i had no balance in my life. When i wasnt obsesswd with something that was giving me mental stimulation, i was lost and bored. Its dangerous. He needs to balance out his life and be able to focus on the important things instead of the constant 'instant gratification'.

Its too bad Taylor decided not to choose going balls deep in something like Science.  Totally wasting it all on religion.  Now he shouts from the rooftops that everyone is going to go to hell unless they find Jesus. 
I don`t see how that is productive at all.  Also, he could crash hard from this religion if he ever figures out that its all bullshit.

[Shockwave]

Its too bad Taylor decided not to choose going balls deep in something like Science.  Totally wasting it all on religion.  Now he shouts from the rooftops that everyone is going to go to hell unless they find Jesus. 
I don`t see how that is productive at all.  Also, he could crash hard from this religion if he ever figures out that its all bullshit.

he may down the road. In the short term its about finding something bigger/more important than yourself that makes you put something in front of your own drive to use.

After they get stabilized and far enough away from it, they tend to ease off of whatever they grabbed on to so tightly.... many people its AA/12 steps.

AA never worked for me because i saw right through the programming aspect, the 'ours is the only way' attitude they preach..... you have to be so desperate and lost that you buy into it 100% for it to work, and i didnt.

[The True Adonis]

he may down the road. In the short term its about finding something bigger/more important than yourself that makes you put something in front of your own drive to use.

After they get stabilized and far enough away from it, they tend to ease off of whatever they grabbed on to so tightly.... many people its AA/12 steps.

AA never worked for me because i saw right through the programming aspect, the 'ours is the only way' attitude they preach..... you have to be so desperate and lost that you buy into it 100% for it to work, and i didnt.

That AA always seemed more like a chore than anything.  I have no conception of what it must be like to want to use drugs.  It never appealed to me because I always valued my mind and being in complete control of my thoughts.  I would ask my drug using friends always if they worried that they were permanently damaging their brain and they would reply, "Thats the point!".  I still don`t get it.

Another thing I can`t really conceptualize is the addiction process.  I know alot of it becomes physical and you simply won`t feel normal unless you take the drugs, but the mental part of wanting to continue to use knowing full well what is going on is what baffles me at times.  I mean I get it and have read all about it, seen it in documentaries and knew people with addiction issues, but its still hard for someone like me, who has never used or had an interest in using drugs to fully grasp. Then I see people like Charlie Sheen.  He can turn his drug use off completely if he wants to and never use which he has done without issue.

[Shockwave]

That AA always seemed more like a chore than anything.  I have no conception of what it must be like to want to use drugs.  It never appealed to me because I always valued my mind and being in complete control of my thoughts.  I would ask my drug using friends always if they worried that they were permanently damaging their brain and they would reply, "Thats the point!".  I still don`t get it.

Another thing I can`t really conceptualize is the addiction process.  I know alot of it becomes physical and you simply won`t feel normal unless you take the drugs, but the mental part of wanting to continue to use knowing full well what is going on is what baffles me at times.  I mean I get it and have read all about it, seen it in documentaries and knew people with addiction issues, but its still hard for someone like me, who has never used or had an interest in using drugs to fully grasp. Then I see people like Charlie Sheen.  He can turn his drug use off completely if he wants to and never use which he has done without issue.

i was always the same way until i started using. It fundamentally changed the way your brain works, making it a compulsion, an instinct that cant be ignored.

I grew up in a strictly anti-drug house with a very rigid upbringing, i never understood how people could lose control of themselves... its insane how quickly you lose control of your decision making abilities and how quickly the addiction takes control. It makes you think you WANT to do it.

[Primemuscle]

he may down the road. In the short term its about finding something bigger/more important than yourself that makes you put something in front of your own drive to use.

After they get stabilized and far enough away from it, they tend to ease off of whatever they grabbed on to so tightly.... many people its AA/12 steps.

AA never worked for me because i saw right through the programming aspect, the 'ours is the only way' attitude they preach..... you have to be so desperate and lost that you buy into it 100% for it to work, and i didnt.

I agree with you about AA. It isn't all or nothing for all people. Some alcoholics are binge drinkers. My mom could go to a party, have a couple of drinks and be fine. About once a month, she'd go out to her favorite bar and get totally blasted. So for people like her, it isn't always that first drink that takes you off the wagon.

I recently gave up drinking scotch at home because I have trouble controlling how much I drink in this situation. On the other hand, I can have a glass of wine with dinner and I'm fine. I can go out somewhere and have one or two drinks and I'm good. AA doesn't address people like me or my mom.

[da_vinci]

That AA always seemed more like a chore than anything.  I have no conception of what it must be like to want to use drugs.  It never appealed to me because I always valued my mind and being in complete control of my thoughts.  I would ask my drug using friends always if they worried that they were permanently damaging their brain and they would reply, "Thats the point!".  I still don`t get it.

Another thing I can`t really conceptualize is the addiction process.  I know alot of it becomes physical and you simply won`t feel normal unless you take the drugs, but the mental part of wanting to continue to use knowing full well what is going on is what baffles me at times.  I mean I get it and have read all about it, seen it in documentaries and knew people with addiction issues, but its still hard for someone like me, who has never used or had an interest in using drugs to fully grasp. Then I see people like Charlie Sheen.  He can turn his drug use off completely if he wants to and never use which he has done without issue.

It's like a diarhea: when a "time" comes - you just can't stop it. Or so they say..

[Nordic Beast]

I would so hammer punch tbombz's throat if I wasn't scared of the HIV

dude is everything wrong with bodybuilding, drug use and religion....there's nothing this kid cant fuck up or turn into an addiction

[calfzilla]

I would so hammer punch tbombz's throat if I wasn't scared of the HIV

dude is everything wrong with bodybuilding, drug use and religion....there's nothing this kid cant fuck up or turn into an addiction

Lol!

[Kwon_2]

If he was African he would be called T'Bomba.

[Nordic Beast]

If he was African he would be called T'Bomba.

hahahahahaha

he'd be worshiped as a God over there-----fit right in with their primitive beliefs in fairy tales and the boatload of AIDS infected locals

[Kwon_2]

hahahahahaha

he'd be worshiped as a God over there-----fit right in with their primitive beliefs in fairy tales and the boatload of AIDS infected locals

Motto would be "EAT DA POOPOO"! 

[The True Adonis]

hahahahahaha

he'd be worshiped as a God over there-----fit right in with their primitive beliefs in fairy tales and the boatload of AIDS infected locals

He could easily become head of a tribe with that bunny costume.

[Primemuscle]

He could easily become head of a tribe with that bunny costume.

Do you mean a tribe of bunnies?

[hardgainerj]

My sister's ex-husband has been HIV positive since he unfortunately was given tainted transfusion when he was 18 years old and in a Japanese hospital being treated for hemophilia. He is in his 50's now and healthier than he was several years ago.

you are aware that the earlier strains are not mutated like the current strains

[Primemuscle]

you are aware that the earlier strains are not mutated like the current strains

I've read that. Viruses do mutate. It is what makes them so difficult to treat.

[The True Adonis]

I've read that. Viruses do mutate. It is what makes them so difficult to treat.

Well there is a choice. A possibly terrible one (depending on how you view such things) that would get rid of the virus completely.  Quarantine and not treat and burn the place afterwards.  The Utilitarian would see this as plausible and even moral in terms of what is most beneficial to humanity.

[Quickerblade]

Tbombz is a good guy, i remember years ago we used to PM all the time. he had good weight loss tips.