Author Topic: Funny wife..... (Read 4986 times)

Kim Jong Bob · « **Reply #25 on:** January 25, 2014, 12:10:59 AM »

Quote from: Mr Nobody on January 24, 2014, 02:47:39 PM

Keep Mensa away from your women or when your back is turned he will have them out in the Datsun B210 fogging up the windows.

hey

Obvious Gimmick · « **Reply #26 on:** January 25, 2014, 04:22:50 AM »

Quote from: Tedim on January 23, 2014, 01:23:20 PM

So far two retards have responded.....quota calls for 5

4

CalvinH · « **Reply #27 on:** January 25, 2014, 08:18:41 AM »

FitnessFrenzy · « **Reply #28 on:** January 25, 2014, 08:22:14 AM »

Quote from: Tedim on January 23, 2014, 01:17:31 PM

Me.....do we have Doritos (fuck the diet today)

Her.......no

Me.......I hate you

Her.......I hate you more

Me.......my girlfriend hates you

Her.......and we both hate your mother

Can I be your dog for a week? Nothing sexual, I just want to fetch your newspaper in the morning.

Tedim · « **Reply #29 on:** January 25, 2014, 08:32:50 AM »

Quote from: FitnessFrenzy on January 25, 2014, 08:22:14 AM

Can I be your dog for a week? Nothing sexual, I just want to fetch your newspaper in the morning.

"I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him."

WalterWhite · « **Reply #30 on:** January 25, 2014, 08:38:24 AM »

Quote from: Tedim on January 25, 2014, 08:32:50 AM

"I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him."

Tedim · « **Reply #31 on:** February 10, 2014, 12:35:11 PM »

NEW ENTRY....

something something something...

ME: I want a new wife!

HER: Why? You don't use the one you have.......

alabama ftw · « **Reply #32 on:** February 10, 2014, 12:36:49 PM »

Quote from: Tedim on February 10, 2014, 12:35:11 PM

NEW ENTRY....

something something something...

ME: I want a new wife!

HER: Why? You don't use the one you have.......

Not to be an asshole but only you and your wife think its funny. Sorry!

FitnessFrenzy · « **Reply #33 on:** February 10, 2014, 12:38:46 PM »

Quote from: alabama ftw on February 10, 2014, 12:36:49 PM

Not to be an asshole but only you and your wife think its funny. Sorry!

Tedim · « **Reply #34 on:** February 10, 2014, 12:41:08 PM »

Quote from: alabama ftw on February 10, 2014, 12:36:49 PM

Not to be an asshole but only you and your wife think its funny. Sorry!

Tedim · « **Reply #35 on:** February 10, 2014, 12:41:50 PM »

Quote from: anabolichalo on February 10, 2014, 12:39:56 PM

this is the worst comedian in getbig history

this is a mudshark free zone....move along

Tedim · « **Reply #36 on:** February 10, 2014, 12:49:55 PM »

Quote from: anabolichalo on February 10, 2014, 12:43:39 PM

keep telling yourself you dont desperately want to hit this

Tedim · « **Reply #37 on:** March 17, 2014, 05:56:53 AM »

See a guy at IHOP with girlfriend wearing bedazzled jeans

Me "fag"

Wife "not everyone shops at Tractor Supply for their clothes"

BigCyp · « **Reply #38 on:** March 17, 2014, 09:44:04 AM »

Yesterday my 3 year old son walks over to me while i'm plastering in my living room, with his little watering can and says "Daddy, can you please fill this up for me again, Mummy's gone upstairs"

So I say (expecting him to tell me how good he's been etc) "And why should I stop what i'm doing, go all the way to the outside tap and fill it up for you, son?"

He looks at me dead staight and goes "Because it's empty?"

Hahahahaha fucking kids

Andy Griffin · « **Reply #39 on:** March 18, 2014, 04:33:23 PM »

Quote from: Tedim on March 17, 2014, 05:56:53 AM

See a guy at IHOP with girlfriend wearing bedazzled jeans

Me "fag"

Wife "not everyone shops at Tractor Supply for their clothes"

Caught me off guard. I chortled heartily.

Red Hook · « **Reply #40 on:** March 18, 2014, 04:39:35 PM »

Quote from: Tedim on January 23, 2014, 01:17:31 PM

Me.....do we have Doritos (fuck the diet today)

Her.......no

Me.......I hate you

Her.......I hate you more

Me.......my girlfriend hates you

Her.......and we both hate your mother

I am glad that the gay marriage thing is working for you.

Lustral · « **Reply #41 on:** March 18, 2014, 04:43:33 PM »

Quote from: Shockwave on January 23, 2014, 01:28:10 PM

HA, I always have convos like this with my wife... and always mention the imaginary 'gf' when she gets lippy. Of course she usually replies back with something about one of my exs or about fucking the Rock...

Your wife fancy the Rock too?

My gf always shows me pics of him. Don't care a bit why would he want a Brazilian with a good ass and tits?

BIG ACH · « **Reply #42 on:** March 18, 2014, 07:01:25 PM »

That was awesome!

Gotta appreciate a woman's sense of humor! One of my favorite things about my wife is that she can say some really funny ass shit sometimes!

flinstones1 · « **Reply #43 on:** March 18, 2014, 08:45:37 PM »

lol three months ago some 20 year old got lippy with me I called her a whore dropped her off at a strip club and pointed to it as I proceeded to tell her "this where you belong you fucking whore" t

next day she had left a diary in my car, and in the diary there was a picture of a cartoon character at a birthday partyy by himself. And on it she wrote "my childhood". And a picture she drew of her with her family (or family she wished she had i guess) The picture was called. "I have a family that loves me"

Did I feel bad? Of course. But I tried with her. And to be fair it wouldnt of made a difference...A girl this emotionally fucked, with problems that root that deep will never have respect for herself.

TEH boob · « **Reply #44 on:** March 18, 2014, 09:17:17 PM »

Quote from: flinstones1 on March 18, 2014, 08:45:37 PM

lol three months ago some 20 year old got lippy with me I called her a whore dropped her off at a strip club and pointed to it as I proceeded to tell her "this where you belong you fucking whore" t

next day she had left a diary in my car, and in the diary there was a picture of a cartoon character at a birthday partyy by himself. And on it she wrote "my childhood". And a picture she drew of her with her family (or family she wished she had i guess) The picture was called. "I have a family that loves me"

Did I feel bad? Of course. But I tried with her. And to be fair it wouldnt of made a difference...A girl this emotionally fucked, with problems that root that deep will never have respect for herself.

That last sentence...you could probably say the same about yourself.

Being plain nasty to people.....you got problems. Wonder what cut you so deeply that you have to do this to others.

Tapeworm · « **Reply #45 on:** March 18, 2014, 09:49:33 PM »

"I deserve half."

flinstones1 · « **Reply #46 on:** March 18, 2014, 09:51:43 PM »

Quote from: TEH boob on March 18, 2014, 09:17:17 PM

That last sentence...you could probably say the same about yourself.

Being plain nasty to people.....you got problems. Wonder what cut you so deeply that you have to do this to others.

your wrong on the bold. About a month after that incident I had a one night stand with some girl who woke up hangover. I went to the gas station and got her a lemonade at the gas station because she wasnt in the mood for orange juice...made her breakfast... got her dressed. Yeah real asshole I am.

She called me thanking me for being such a sweetheart.

The girl your talking about lied to my face. She deserved every word I said to her. I dont regret it

sososue · « **Reply #47 on:** March 19, 2014, 02:00:22 AM »

Quote from: flinstones1 on March 18, 2014, 09:51:43 PM

your wrong on the bold. About a month after that incident I had a one night stand with some girl who woke up hangover. I went to the gas station and got her a lemonade at the gas station because she wasnt in the mood for orange juice...made her breakfast... got her dressed. Yeah real asshole I am. She called me thanking me for being such a sweetheart.

The girl your talking about lied to my face. She deserved every word I said to her. I dont regret it

Thats what happens when you pick up girls with learning difficulties.