Does the black church keep black women single?

[MCWAY]

I discussed this with some ladies at work. Though it may apply to women in general, the topic specifically focused on black women.

Thoughts?


http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/10/black.church.women.single/index.html?iref=allsearch#

[loco]

I discussed this with some ladies at work. Though it may apply to women in general, the topic specifically focused on black women.

Thoughts?


http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/10/black.church.women.single/index.html?iref=allsearch#

Hey MCWAY!    

"One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church. According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion"

Interesting!  I have read the reason so many black women in America are single is because of "a lack of black men in college."  Black women have gotten wiser, going to and actually finishing college, getting great jobs, etc.  Few black men on the other hand finish high school, and if they do, few of them go to college, and if they do go to college, few of them finish.  There are far more educated black women out there than educated black men, and these women want to marry an educated man.  Anyway, that is what I've read.

About black women in church, I think it applies to any woman in church.  There are men out there who prefer to marry the church woman.  Some of these men go to church to find this type of woman.  Maybe some churches just don't have enough of these men anymore.

[MCWAY]

Hey MCWAY!    

"One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church. According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion"

Interesting!  I have read the reason so many black women in America are single is because of "a lack of black men in college."  Black women have gotten wiser, going to and actually finishing college, getting great jobs, etc.  Few black men on the other hand finish high school, and if they do, few of them go to college, and if they do go to college, few of them finish.  There are far more educated black women out there than educated black men, and these women want to marry an educated man.  Anyway, that is what I've read.

About black women in church, I think it applies to any woman in church.  There are men out there who prefer to marry the church woman.  Some of these men go to church to find this type of woman.  Maybe some churches just don't have enough of these men anymore.

I've heard that as well. I attended an HBCU (Historically Black College or University), where it was roughly three girls to two guys. That school is about the same way today. I've also read (although the study was somewhat dated) that nearly two-thirds of all Bachelor's degree, awarded to black people, went to black women. Then again, more women overall are going to college than men are. So, it's not hard to understand such a scenario.

With regards to the church, I'm sure the desire to be "equally yoked" with a believer parallels with wanting to be someone of a similar educational background. I think the problem stems from impatience. Some women will either get attached to a non-believer or (worse yet) try to scope out someone else's man in the church.

[Parker]

Hey MCWAY!    

"One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church. According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion"

Interesting!  I have read the reason so many black women in America are single is because of "a lack of black men in college."  Black women have gotten wiser, going to and actually finishing college, getting great jobs, etc.  Few black men on the other hand finish high school, and if they do, few of them go to college, and if they do go to college, few of them finish.  There are far more educated black women out there than educated black men, and these women want to marry an educated man.  Anyway, that is what I've read.

About black women in church, I think it applies to any woman in church.  There are men out there who prefer to marry the church woman.  Some of these men go to church to find this type of woman.  Maybe some churches just don't have enough of these men anymore.

Well, the black women in Church thing...women in general tend to be more emotional, and th black Church tends to prey or should I say cater to that aspect. Notice how all the Preachers tend to be flamboyant---there is a term, "Pimps in the Pulpit"....Also the Black Church tends not to address certain aspects of reality---black women tend to be the cause of lack of black men, period...they focus on racism.

Black women starting with the baby boom generation have continually picked men who will not stay around...slam, bam, thank you ma'am...
Thus, they treat the sons almost like boyfriends, and have men in and out of their lives, and if they they have daughters the daugthers see this as well, and repeat the process---

But, not just black women, but women in general are going to college more, and many are outpacing men in advanced degrees. For instance, there are more women in Law School and graduating from Law School than men.

When I went to see my sister receive her Master's at UMBC, I saw that there were far more black women---black women and Asians made up the bulk of the graduates.

Black women have to set standards for Black men---as it is the woman who picks the man, and yes black men will surely but slowly rise to meet those standards...


McWay, I went to Morgan State University, and it was a lot of women per man, but then not all women are off the chain, as I told one person, not all black women are "beautiful black butterflies waiting to be captured in the net of love".

Furthermore, the saying go to Church to find a good woman, no longer applies to today...Spike on here was screwing a married English teacher who was in the Church Choir...and she was sending him ass shots, breast shots, etc...yeah, good woman, right

Many of the women who go to Church especially in the Black Church are searching for a emotional crutch---a outlet for their issues, that they themselves have caused, and want "God" to fix or send a man in their lives, which is the last thing they need.

Again, there is nothing wrong with black men, if one wants to bake a apple pie, one gets ripe apples, not rotten ones, correct? Well black women need to up their standards and stop picking rotten apples to make a pie...they are our quality control...something the feminist movement neglected to tell women of all races---that was and is a woman's most important job

[MCWAY]

Well, the black women in Church thing...women in general tend to be more emotional, and th black Church tends to prey or should I say cater to that aspect. Notice how all the Preachers tend to be flamboyant---there is a term, "Pimps in the Pulpit"....Also the Black Church tends not to address certain aspects of reality---black women tend to be the cause of lack of black men, period...they focus on racism.

Black women starting with the baby boom generation have continually picked men who will not stay around...slam, bam, thank you ma'am...
Thus, they treat the sons almost like boyfriends, and have men in and out of their lives, and if they they have daughters the daugthers see this as well, and repeat the process---

If by racism, you mean black women are almost loyal to a fault as it relates to staying with black men, I'd tend to agree with you. But, where I disagree is the flamboyant black preacher routine. That depends on the denomination and age of the minister. As far as emotional stuff goes, I wouldn't go so far as to claim that the ministers are preying on emotions. Many women have issues and questions, regarding aspects of their lives that are not being addressed in the secular realm.

But, not just black women, but women in general are going to college more, and many are outpacing men in advanced degrees. For instance, there are more women in Law School and graduating from Law School than men.

When I went to see my sister receive her Master's at UMBC, I saw that there were far more black women---black women and Asians made up the bulk of the graduates.

Black women have to set standards for Black men---as it is the woman who picks the man, and yes black men will surely but slowly rise to meet those standards...

Agreed!! And that's part of the problem with this article. These women are indeed setting the standards. And they're being criticized for using the church's standards. But, considering one of the critics writes for the San Francisco Examiner (a far-left newspaper) that's hardly a surprise.

McWay, I went to Morgan State University, and it was a lot of women per man, but then not all women are off the chain, as I told one person, not all black women are "beautiful black butterflies waiting to be captured in the net of love".

My alma mater is Florida A&M University. As stated earlier, the breakdown was 56% women and 44% men (or roughly 3 girls to 2 guys). Indeed, not all black women are "beautiful black butterflies, waiting to be captured in the net of love"......at least, not until their junior year  . Then the pressure HEATS UP, as too many sisters I remember were stressing themselves out, with their folks expecting them to make that march with diploma in one hand and engagement ring on the other.

Furthermore, the saying go to Church to find a good woman, no longer applies to today...Spike on here was screwing a married English teacher who was in the Church Choir...and she was sending him ass shots, breast shots, etc...yeah, good woman, right

Many of the women who go to Church especially in the Black Church are searching for a emotional crutch---a outlet for their issues, that they themselves have caused, and want "God" to fix or send a man in their lives, which is the last thing they need.

If there are "pimps in the pulpit", then it follows that there are 'hoes' in the pews (and the choir bench). Going to church doesn't exempt you from using Scripture to separate the proverbial wheat from the chaff, in terms of finding a suitable husband (or wife, for that matter).

Again, there is nothing wrong with black men, if one wants to bake a apple pie, one gets ripe apples, not rotten ones, correct? Well black women need to up their standards and stop picking rotten apples to make a pie...they are our quality control...something the feminist movement neglected to tell women of all races---that was and is a woman's most important job

Again, that's what the women in this article seem to be doing. And they're getting blasted for it, by people like the SF Examiner lady, Deborah Cooper, for not lowering their standards and chasing guys in the bars and clubs. As for the feminist movement, that crock of an institution has little to do with uplifting women as it does with denigrating men. Teaching women that they can be just as promiscuous and dastardly as men is hardly an uplifting thing. Women don't need to be compared with men. They are special, in and of themselves. Scripture clearly points that out. As soon as more women realize that, they will uplift themselves and make sure the men around the step up.

[Jadeveon Clowney]

Spike on here was screwing a married English teacher who was in the Church Choir...and she was sending him ass shots, breast shots, etc...yeah, good woman, right

Pics or it did not happen.

To answer the original poster's question, it is not the church but their overweighteousness.  The ones who are not overweighteous have two and three men, sometimes more.

[Parker]

Pics or it did not happen.

To answer the original poster's question, it is not the church but their overweighteousness.  The ones who are not overweighteous have two and three men, sometimes more.

Pics were posted, you should have saved them.

[Jadeveon Clowney]

Pics were posted, you should have saved them.

Are you saying you did?

[MCWAY]

Come on, guys!!

Let's stay on topic, please!!
 

[Jadeveon Clowney]

I think Selita Ebanks suffers from this condition.  She has been single for a long time.

[Migs]

nah they are single becuase they think like they are divas.  Also, many of the guys rea in jail or some other state sponsored vacation, then the other ones are taking the fat white girls. 

[Jadeveon Clowney]

Please pray for sister Eubanks.  A woman like her should have at least 8 kids. Instead, she's single.

[Migs]

I think Selita Ebanks suffers from this condition.  She has been single for a long time.

i keep calling her...

 

[Parker]

If by racism, you mean black women are almost loyal to a fault as it relates to staying with black men, I'd tend to agree with you. But, where I disagree is the flamboyant black preacher routine. That depends on the denomination and age of the minister. As far as emotional stuff goes, I wouldn't go so far as to claim that the ministers are preying on emotions. Many women have issues and questions, regarding aspects of their lives that are not being addressed in the secular realm.

Agreed!! And that's part of the problem with this article. These women are indeed setting the standards. And they're being criticized for using the church's standards. But, considering one of the critics writes for the San Francisco Examiner (a far-left newspaper) that's hardly a surprise.

My alma mater is Florida A&M University. As stated earlier, the breakdown was 56% women and 44% men (or roughly 3 girls to 2 guys). Indeed, not all black women are "beautiful black butterflies, waiting to be captured in the net of love"......at least, not until their junior year  . Then the pressure HEATS UP, as too many sisters I remember were stressing themselves out, with their folks expecting them to make that march with diploma in one hand and engagement ring on the other.

If there are "pimps in the pulpit", then it follows that there are 'hoes' in the pews (and the choir bench). Going to church doesn't exempt you from using Scripture to separate the proverbial wheat from the chaff, in terms of finding a suitable husband (or wife, for that matter).

Again, that's what the women in this article seem to be doing. And they're getting blasted for it, by people like the SF Examiner lady, Deborah Cooper, for not lowering their standards and chasing guys in the bars and clubs. As for the feminist movement, that crock of an institution has little to do with uplifting women as it does with denigrating men. Teaching women that they can be just as promiscuous and dastardly as men is hardly an uplifting thing. Women don't need to be compared with men. They are special, in and of themselves. Scripture clearly points that out. As soon as more women realize that, they will uplift themselves and make sure the men around the step up.

No, what I meant is that black preachers still act like it's 1968 and look for racism...look for being a victim. You can find racism under every rock---if you look for it. WHat they need to focus on is the reason why young black men have a HS grad. rate of 47%. Why many are jail...But focusing racism takes the black off of the black community (the black Baby Boomers) for answering these questions. It's a 'sexy" topic and never gets old. last time I check men protect, provide, and dictate how they and their communities will operate.
Black women have always dating other men...It's just that that in the past 20-25 yrs, other women (read white women) have been available to black men...ANd the problem is that black women---who have the lowest self esteem of all women, feel like that they can't compete...when they can.
Look into the Frantz Fanon's theory, and how it deals with the levels---
During the turn of the 20th century most blacks that went to college were mulattos, of consensual BW/WM relationships. Then there were the octoroon and quadroon balls--in which black women were falunted for white french men to pick...

The problem is that black women have subscribed to this "it's hard for a black man" mentality, and don't require black men to at least try. When your woman has excuses for you---then you have an excuse not to try.

i have more to say, but I'm at work...

[Parker]

I think Selita Ebanks suffers from this condition.  She has been single for a long time.

Well, she is seeing Maxwell, I believe, and well Maxwell, makes women's toes curl...just by looking at them... 

[MCWAY]

No, what I meant is that black preachers still act like it's 1968 and look for racism...look for being a victim. You can find racism under every rock---if you look for it. WHat they need to focus on is the reason why young black men have a HS grad. rate of 47%. Why many are jail...But focusing racism takes the black off of the black community (the black Baby Boomers) for answering these questions. It's a 'sexy" topic and never gets old. last time I check men protect, provide, and dictate how they and their communities will operate.
Black women have always dating other men...It's just that that in the past 20-25 yrs, other women (read white women) have been available to black men...ANd the problem is that black women---who have the lowest self esteem of all women, feel like that they can't compete...when they can.
Look into the Frantz Fanon's theory, and how it deals with the levels---
During the turn of the 20th century most blacks that went to college were mulattos, of consensual BW/WM relationships. Then there were the octoroon and quadroon balls--in which black women were falunted for white french men to pick...

The problem is that black women have subscribed to this "it's hard for a black man" mentality, and don't require black men to at least try. When your woman has excuses for you---then you have an excuse not to try.

i have more to say, but I'm at work...

But, this article is addressing the exact OPPOSITE scenario. It's about black women who are NOT subscribing to this mentality. They are requiring the brothers to try. Yet, they're being blasted for it, because they are using standards in Scripture. The claim is that the ladies are single, because of the church, that they are demanding the guys be saved or (at least) attempt to live a Christian lifestyle.

[MCWAY]

nah they are single becuase they think like they are divas.  Also, many of the guys rea in jail or some other state sponsored vacation, then the other ones are taking the fat white girls. 

Not all of them are fat, just look at the gal that got bopped in the head with a can of soda. Plus, we have different standards as to what's "fat", anyway. Some white guys think Ice-T's wife, CoCo, is fat.

[Migs]

Not all of them are fat, just look at the gal that got bopped in the head with a can of soda. Plus, we have different standards as to what's "fat", anyway. Some white guys think Ice-T's wife, CoCo, is fat.

true, i guess.  Looks like cocoa is off season right now though.  saw a pic of her thighs.  thought it was about to rain.

[Jadeveon Clowney]

Well, she is seeing Maxwell, I believe, and well Maxwell, makes women's toes curl...just by looking at them... 

ESSENCE.com: What about that other rumored relationship? Are you and Maxwell an item?
EBANKS: [laughs] No, we've never been an item. He's just a good friend. This is the part that kills me. Every time I take a picture with any man all of a sudden I'm dating him. I'm like, 'No.' Of course he's Maxwell, and he's gorgeous, but he's not mine. I've been single for so long, and I'm just trying to concentrate on my career. If the Lord sends me an amazing man, then I'll be here.



Read more: http://www.essence.com/entertainment/hot_topics/selita_ebanks_talks_runaway_kanye_west_and_maxwell.php#ixzz1EMnpPWIl


SHe's probably waiting on some Russian billionaire.  I mean if they're willing to go for old ass fucked up looking Naomi campbell they'll probably kill infants for Selita.

[MCWAY]

true, i guess.  Looks like cocoa is off season right now though.  saw a pic of her thighs.  thought it was about to rain.

Apparently, she has a baby sister that's nearly as thick as she is. What's the term nowadays, "Whooty"?