Sorry for your loss man, the pain is crazy. When my cat Sir Squeakalot died I remember thinking it was crazy how fucked up I felt, and then once I stopped thinking he was a cat and remembered he was my brother, it made sense. I have an epic detailed tattoo of him on my calf, I was scared that at age 80 I would forget him maybe, now if I do at least he walks with me. Stay strong man.