I am writing a narrative that i think will be an intresting read for all. This narrative is about a man, lets call him "John", who works for a magazine comapany, lets call it say..... "Muscular Development". "Muscular Development" who has just started an internet forum board has a problem with two of its members, lets call them "The Shire Reeve" and "The True Adonis". "John" who is suffering from a mid-life crises goes into meltdown and tries his hardest in this narrative to get the two members banned. I don't want to ruin the ending of the story so i guess ill jump right into it.
John was a lonely man in his mid 40's with nothing more then an apartment in Mexico and a computer working as an editor for a magazine company that published bodybuilding magazines. Although John had never in his life participated in bodybuilding, he often times thought of himself as a knowledgeable guru on the topic as he had many experiences with drugs involved in the sport. He also had many experiences with other recreational drugs that he considered to be apart of the sport but in reality weren't. John woke up in a dazed cloud from a previous night of hard partying and drug abuse and stumbled into the kitchen for his burner to make a pot of coffee. He glanced at the clock and it read back to him 3:00 pm. "Hmmmmmmm..... i got up early today" he said to himself while filling his pot full of water in preperation for his morning cup. John scratched his ass and dragging his feet over to his computer he tripped on an assortment of beer cans and other random junk. "I've got to stop drinking" he said scratching his 5 o'clock shadow and reaching down to turn on his computer. He tapped his foot impatiently waiting for Muscular Development.com to load as he knew he had a lot of important business to attend to on the forums. “Finally!” He said digging the lint out of his ass crack while scrolling down to forums to see new posts. He scrolled down to see a new thread titled “JOHN ROMANO IS A CRYBABY and is trying to get MD MEMBERS BANNED”. With shock at actually receiving some notoriety he instantly clicked the thread reading it from front to back. He felt his blood boil. His beady little eyes running up and down the screen slowly sucking in the information. His face slowly started to turn beat red and John instantly went into a meltdown. “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!” John screamed banging his keyboard up and down with keys flying off everywhere and shaking his monitor. “I am going to show these guys a thing or two!!!”. John instantly went from thread to thread deleting posts of the Iron Triangle (The Shire Reeve, The Board Sheriff, and The True Adonis). “I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO GET THESE GUYS BANNED AT THE NEXT MD MEETING!!!” he screamed. John became so enraged and could do nothing about it he instantly burst into tears and ran to his bed crying. He sucked his thumb and held his genitals tightly in hopes of getting some kind of comfort. After an hour of moaning John began to experience withdrawals from MD and logged back into his account. “I know what will make me feel better” he said as he clicked into Melissa Dettwillers thread. After hours of furious masturbation John changed into his yellow pit stained wife beater and pulled out a box full of marijuana, which he hid under his bed, and lit up a joint. “I gotta go work out soon” he said to himself.
After finishing his joint John grabbed his gym bag and headed off to the gym for an intense session of toilet paper curls and air squats. He stayed for 30 mins spending most of his time on his cell phone schmoing it up to Steve Blechman whining about the members on the board. “We gotta do something about this Steve! I can’t take it anymore!” he said while doing his air squats. “We will talk about it at the meeting… I’ve got more important business to attend to right now John, I can’t provide you with comfort and counseling every time you have a meltdown on the board.” A muffled voice replied on the opposite end of the phone. “Ok Steve!!! Again I apologize for bothering you during your busy day sir!!!! Ohh I almost forgot!! I will get on those articles for you as soon as I get home!!” John said in his best yes man tone. John hung up the phone and sighed. He grabbed his gym bag after a 30 minute intense session of training and headed home for his post work out joint. “HAH!! I will show them!! I will show them all!!” John said on the ride home in his 1986 rust colored Toyota Corolla that poured out black exhaust.
As soon as John got home he instantly began to access the admin controls so he could pump out as much information about members information for his big meeting in New York. He spent hours gathering all he could about member joining numbers and other statistics. He even made line graphs, pie charts, and a slide show on power point to help him. “I need everything I can get to convince Blechman that these guys are in the wrong” he said. After 5 grueling hours of preparing his report for his big meeting he sighed and said to himself “I am ready”. It dragged his feet back to his room where he plopped on his pissed stained mattress and instantly fell asleep. He dreamed of The Shire Reeve that night and how he would love to bash his face in. He also dreamed of Adonis and strangling him. He smiled and slept good that night. He knew he had a big day tomorrow.
The Locker Room
