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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: _aj_ on October 11, 2015, 06:00:38 AM

Title: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: _aj_ on October 11, 2015, 06:00:38 AM
http://smileshappen.org/wyoming-man-found-with-30-eyeballs-in-his-anal-cavity/
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: NickEdge779 on October 11, 2015, 06:02:01 AM
What the actual fuck...
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Tapeworm on October 11, 2015, 06:07:35 AM
Quote
“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

Tilbott explained his actions:  “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

“I put them in soups,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”

He forms a cogent case... for a guy with a butt full of cow eyeballs.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Waller on October 11, 2015, 06:10:26 AM
I bet he's seen some shit.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: WOOO on October 11, 2015, 06:11:41 AM
Jackass outtake.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: King Shizzo on October 11, 2015, 06:14:07 AM
I hear they all had brown eyes.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Benito Mutumbo on October 11, 2015, 06:18:11 AM
He won't be having dinner guests anytime soon.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: King Shizzo on October 11, 2015, 06:24:59 AM
I bet he loved the soup specials at The Temple of Doom cafe.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Army of One on October 11, 2015, 06:30:16 AM
Were any of them vissys?
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: phreak on October 11, 2015, 06:46:04 AM
If you stare into the ass, the ass stares back at you.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: SquidVicious on October 11, 2015, 06:49:30 AM
So this what they mean by having eyes in the back of your head.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Tapeworm on October 11, 2015, 06:50:08 AM
I bet he loved the soup specials at The Temple of Doom cafe.


(http://www.theraider.net/films/todoom/gallery/dvdscreenshots/368.jpg)

Try our Eyeball Ram Potage!
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: OlympiaGym on October 11, 2015, 07:02:48 AM
What is his GB handle?
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Frank Reynolds on October 11, 2015, 07:07:04 AM
What is his GB handle?

I'd say shizzo since he seems like the type of guy that would shove cow eyes up his ass in the hopes of seeing himself take a shit......but the cognitive and well rounded argument he presented says otherwise......
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Twaddle on October 11, 2015, 07:09:28 AM
How does one even find something like this on the interwebs?   :-\
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Army of One on October 11, 2015, 07:09:36 AM
I'd say shizzo since he seems like the type of guy that would shove cow eyes up his ass in the hopes of seeing himself take a shit......but the cognitive and well rounded argument he presented says otherwise......

You seem very knowledgeable for a 2015 join date and so few posts
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Frank Reynolds on October 11, 2015, 07:11:25 AM
You seem very knowledgeable for a 2015 join date and so few posts

If it quacks like a duck.....?????
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Tapeworm on October 11, 2015, 07:13:31 AM
How does one even find something like this on the interwebs?   :-\

Welcome to The Jungle.  May I take your coat?
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Van_Bilderass on October 11, 2015, 07:19:41 AM
Muslim Migrants Demand Sex: “Problem, problem problem here (points to groin) Balls is very big”

[ Invalid YouTube link ]
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Papper on October 11, 2015, 07:23:40 AM
Muslim Migrants Demand Sex: “Problem, problem problem here (points to groin) Balls is very big”

[ Invalid YouTube link ]

Needs to stay in hospital for three days to find out he is horny
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Coach is Back! on October 11, 2015, 07:26:38 AM
Brown eye?
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Powerlift66 on October 11, 2015, 07:27:12 AM
An everyday Getbigger activity...
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Twaddle on October 11, 2015, 07:51:54 AM
Brown eye?

Stink Eye!   :D
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: _aj_ on October 11, 2015, 07:57:12 AM
How does one even find something like this on the interwebs?   :-\

Google alerts. Keywords "eyeballs, ass, white people"
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: The Ugly on October 11, 2015, 01:31:26 PM
I bet he's seen some shit.

Did not go unnoticed, sir. Very nice.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Parker on October 11, 2015, 01:41:16 PM
He forms a cogent case... for a guy with a butt full of cow eyeballs.
Lol, he says that they are good for erectile dysfunction which he is currently battling. Which means that they are not working!!!!
Let me guess, he got the whole animal parts are good for erectile dysfunction from some Asian culture, possibly China?
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Irongrip400 on October 11, 2015, 01:50:24 PM
I hear they all had brown eyes.

6/10
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: King Shizzo on October 11, 2015, 01:56:19 PM
6/10
Will that be the Raven record this season?  :-X
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Dave D on October 11, 2015, 02:18:29 PM
Poor guy.  He's never even had a chance in this world.

The rest of the employees are shoving ribeye steaks down their pants and this limp stick is cramming 30 eyeballs in his anus.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Set It Up on October 11, 2015, 02:21:30 PM
Will that be the Raven record this season?  :-X

soooooooooooooooooo predictable like I stated

goes through ignore mode
then
into semi serious posts mode
then
into thinking he is funny mode
then
into blaming other people mode
then
into full meltdown mode

then there will be a lull for a few days and repeat

I called it to the T in another thread
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Dr.J on October 11, 2015, 02:30:08 PM
Poor guy.  He's never even had a chance in this world.

The rest of the employees are shoving ribeye steaks down their pants and this limp stick is cramming 30 eyeballs in his anus.

Funny shit!
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Dr.J on October 11, 2015, 02:31:42 PM
He forms a cogent case... for a guy with a butt full of cow eyeballs.

I thought the same thing!
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Army of One on October 11, 2015, 02:53:48 PM
His case falls apart once in his car he decides to keep the eyeballs up his ass
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Dave D on October 11, 2015, 03:11:33 PM
His case falls apart once in his car he decides to keep the eyeballs up his ass

I'm going to disagree, I'm assuming it was a painstaking process where he delicately set each eyeball  in place, that started on his first 15 minute break, consumed most of his lunch and  used his last break to get the last ones in place.  

This was no in and out job Army. This unfortunate soul had to spend his whole day being uncomfortable as he maneuvered around and held conversations with coworkers while he held those fragile eyeballs in their place. Dude had to go the entire day without breaking wind, let alone having a bathroom break.

Once he was out of the plant he couldn't just pull them out in his car while in the parking lot, where he could be accused of stealing or at some random gas station bathroom, what if someone came into the next stall, or banged on the door disrupting his concentration. You ever see the floor of a truck stop bathroom, those places are filthy. There's no way I'd be willing to eat an eyeball that fell on that disgusting floor.

No these had to be removed in the confines of a safe, sanitary and familiar place. I'm willing to bet he went with his bathtub or straddled the soup cauldron itself for extraction.  There was a tremendous amount of suffering to claim this glorious prize.

But I'm sure it was worth it to get those delicious eyeballs home safely.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: da_vinci on October 11, 2015, 03:15:29 PM
Maybe he was an eyeball smuggler  ???


Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Army of One on October 11, 2015, 03:17:16 PM
I'm going to disagree, I'm assuming it was a painstaking process where he delicately set each eyeball  in place, that started on his first 15 minute break, consumed most of his lunch and  used his last break to get the last ones in place.  

This was no in and out job Army. This unfortunate soul had to spend his whole day being uncomfortable as he maneuvered around and held conversations with coworkers while he held those fragile eyeballs in their place. Dude had to go the entire day without breaking wind, let alone having a bathroom break.

Once he was out of the plant he couldn't just pull them out in his car while in the parking lot, where he could be accused of stealing or at some random gas station bathroom, what if someone came into the next stall, or banged on the door disrupting his concentration. You ever see the floor of a truck stop bathroom, those places are filthy. There's no way I'd be willing to eat an eyeball that fell on that disgusting floor.

No these had to be removed in the confines of a safe, sanitary and familiar place. I'm willing to bet he went with his bathtub or straddled the soup cauldron itself for extraction.  There was a tremendous amount of suffering to claim this glorious prize.

But I'm sure it was worth it to get those delicious eyeballs home safely.

Beautiful imagery with this wonderful imagining of his day, I bow to your knowledge of such matters.
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Dave D on October 11, 2015, 03:25:08 PM
Beautiful imagery with this wonderful imagining of his day, I bow to your knowledge of such matters.

 ;)
Title: Re: Where to start? Man found with 30 eyeballs up his ass.
Post by: Dr.J on October 11, 2015, 05:42:33 PM
His case falls apart once in his car he decides to keep the eyeballs up his ass

...now there is another good point.....