Your best ( dumbest) lines to the ladies

[Howard]

I'll bet most of you have said some retarded things in the name of passion for a girl.
I sure have, so I'll start with a real doozy.

Back story - We just did the deed for the first time and in post coital bliss she asked if I enjoyed it.
Without thinking much, I just blurted out this gem:

" Your pussy is as tight as most girls' assholes...but it smells better"

[El Diablo Blanco]

Wanna fuck?

[Hypertrophy]

Hi- I'm Howard and I'd make a great husband.

[Hard Fast]

I'll bet most of you have said some retarded things in the name of passion for a girl.
I sure have, so I'll start with a real doozy.

Back story - We just did the deed for the first time and in post coital bliss she asked if I enjoyed it.
Without thinking much, I just blurted out this gem:

" Your pussy is as tight as most girls' assholes...but it smells better"

It was a post-op?

[Howard]

It was a post-op?

"her" name was Shizzo and it was pre-op.

[LurkerNoMore]

Anything that AHalo said....

[Dave D]

Howard’s story should be funny right?

I read it and think I should laugh but I stare at the screen with a blank look on my face.

[webstar]

It’s not gonna suck itself.

[Bevo]

Howard’s story should be funny right?

I read it and think I should laugh but I stare at the screen with a blank look on my face.

I also stared at the screen with a bhank look on my face as well

[Royalty]

I'll bet most of you have said some retarded things in the name of passion for a girl.
I sure have, so I'll start with a real doozy.

Back story - We just did the deed for the first time and in post coital bliss she asked if I enjoyed it.
Without thinking much, I just blurted out this gem:

" Your pussy is as tight as most girls' assholes...but it smells better"

Lord Have Mercy

[SOMEPARTS]

[Thin Lizzy]

I lifted this line from Rodney Dangerfield in the movie back to school. Whenever you see a woman checking herself out in the mirror or a pane of glass, just say “You’re perfect.”  It works every time.

[Howard]

Lord Have Mercy

What 8/8 of my ex-wives said on our wedding night 

[Howard]

Howard’s story should be funny right?

I read it and think I should laugh but I stare at the screen with a blank look on my face.

Get Big official "Howard" related code of conduct .

" He could be screwing a supermodel and it would still suck...because Howard was doing it"

[Walter Sobchak]

Get Big official "Howard" related code of conduct .

" He could be screwing a supermodel and it would still suck...because Howard was doing it"

I want to cut Primepedo’s head off with a dull chainsaw and beat you to fucking death with the empty fucking skull.

[Howard]

I want to cut Primepedo’s head off with a dull chainsaw and beat you to fucking death with the empty fucking skull.

Before or after your bucket donation?

[thebrink]

"why dont me and you get uh, nipple to nipple" or, "damn girl your breath smells like mine"

[AbrahamG]

Wanna fuck?

I used this line the summer after I graduated HS.  She said no.  I said come on.  She said no again.  I said you know you do.  That's why your here.  I proceeded to help myself to her monster mammies and the rest is history.  I fucked her in my brothers bed.  LOL.  Just so I could tell him that I did. 

[Sir Bigness]

"Does this smell infected"

[thebrink]

"Does this smell infected"

Do you bend over when you ask them that

[Pray_4_War]

After I finish I'll stand up with a slightly disappointed look on my face and say......."I give it a six"  Then I walk out to the kitchen.  If she presses me then I'll say '"Hey look, some people are better at sex than others, you have a lot of other talents, you got nothing to be ashamed of, don't even worry about it"

[Pray_4_War]

A guy that told me this story.  He came in a girl's mouth and said, " I didn't cum yet. That's just pus from my gonorrhea"

Holy shit dude.  lol.

[Howard]

After I finish I'll stand up with a slightly disappointed look on my face and say......."I give it a six"  Then I walk out to the kitchen.  If she presses me then I'll say '"Hey look, some people are better at sex than others, you have a lot of other talents, you got nothing to be ashamed of, don't even worry about it"

THat's right up there with these epic panty dropping lines:

1. You look fatter with your clothes off.

2.  You're pretty but your ass smells bad.

[Pray_4_War]

THat's right up there with these epic panty dropping lines:

1. You look fatter with your clothes off.

2.  You're pretty but your ass smells bad.

Yes.  Women don't wan't compliments.  You have to knock them down a peg or else they don't respect you.

They mistake kindness for weakness.

[Howard]

Yes.  Women don't wan't compliments.  You have to knock them down a peg or else they don't respect you.

They mistake kindness for weakness.

Never compliment a woman = never get laid  ( *unless it's a whore house)

Most girls like the 3 C's :  chocolate , cunninglingus   and compliments