There is no reason to feel sorry for women who decided to stay home and then bitch about how hard their lives are, since, except in the case where the BC failed, you would think it was an active choice. Having worked from home, and having several friends who are stay at home moms, I do have a theory as to why it happens.
Women who had kids very early and never really saw what the work place is, tend to not understand the stress and pressure of having to earn for a family, get reamed by teh boss, worry about office back stabbing, etc... They don't always get it, especially if husband-love doesn't share his probs.
When you are the outside worker, you can leave at whatever time, and expect to come home and receive some nurturing, love, care, etc... when you are the one working in the house, nobody's really nurturing you, since that's your primary function. There is no flopping on the couch at 7:00 and shutting everything out. And when all you get is "where's the food and where's my dry cleaning," and little love and affection in return, the stay at home gets grouchy.
Plus, when the stay at home becomes the primary "boss" of the house, always having to remind the other to take care of their responsibilities, the romance kind of goes...
When I worked at home (which didn't require meeting people or going to meetings) I started to get a little weird. Things you would just shrug off as nothing or not worth bothering about when you work because 800 things happen in a day, suddenly took on a whole new meaning... because I had way too much time to think about them. Sometimes I hear my girlfriends bitching or getting upset about miniscule things and I hold the phone away from my ear, thinking girl get real... people are starving elsewhere. But it can easily happen.
Probably the best case scenario is being able to stay at home but also have some kind of interest... whether it's training, volunteering, or some kind of part time gig that brings you into contact with other people.
So here's a question... how come so many of the guys I work with who have wives and multiple children hang around the office way late, even when they have nothing to do, and are obviously just wasting time? Is it because they don't want to go home and help?