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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: MindSpin on October 09, 2007, 01:41:48 PM
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This is an actual letter sent to Proctor and Gamble from Wendi Aarons, Austin, TX, regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph..
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills". Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
"Have a Happy Period."
Are you f______ kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period?
Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Codeine and Brufen and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
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hahahahahaha, classic, can you imagine how bad this whore's twat smells? whhhhhhoooooooooooo weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
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Imagine having to be the poor bastard who has to do market research on tampons for Proctor & Gamble...ha ha ha...world's dirtiest job.
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Imagine having to be the poor bastard who has to do market research on tampons for Proctor & Gamble...ha ha ha...world's dirtiest job.
hahahaha, imagine the poor bastard married to that shitstain.
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haha, I hope she gets toxic shock
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oh brother, poor baby, there's 7,8,9 year old kids out there with inoperable cancers who suffer every day in silence and this whore wants everyone to feel sorry for her because she's on her period, fucck her.
Are you f______ kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period?
Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Codeine and Brufen and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
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She's gotta point though. ;D
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Classic ' have a happy period '
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It must suck, but i think alot of women use PMS as an excuse to be a bitch, "homicidal maniacs in capri pants" ::) I can only imagine how pleasant this bitch is off the rag
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It must suck, but i think alot of women use PMS as an excuse to be a bitch, "homicidal maniacs in capri pants" ::) I can only imagine how pleasant this bitch is off the rag
just another skank who needs agood smack from the back of a man's hand to wake up.
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Could you imagine the shit that whore's boyfriend/husband has to deal with :o
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This was largely tongue in cheek, if you didn't get that......
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We had this chick working at my location, and she always had to leave work because of "cramps". Hahahahah, women are so fucking mentally and physically weak.
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"It must be that time of the month" is my favorite negotiating tactic to get a female adversary to go apeshit in the middle of a business meeting. Works every time ;D
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Classic ' have a happy period '
You know a man thoughta that shit AHAHHHAHAH!!!!
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This is an actual letter sent to Proctor and Gamble from Wendi Aarons, Austin, TX, regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph..
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills". Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
"Have a Happy Period."
Are you f______ kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period?
Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Codeine and Brufen and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
women ::)
so fucking sensitive...
but this bitch is extreme...wtf was that? usa seems full of these women.
i think she needs some cock.
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It must suck, but i think alot of women use PMS as an excuse to be a bitch, "homicidal maniacs in capri pants" ::) I can only imagine how pleasant this bitch is off the rag
ohh def...i was thinking the same thing reading that epic meltdown.
all the bitches who blame PMS because they act like girls.......are girls the rest of the month too.
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"It must be that time of the month" is my favorite negotiating tactic to get a female adversary to go apeshit in the middle of a business meeting. Works every time ;D
yeah or the classical..."she must have PMS" whispered loudly to the guy sitting beside you ;)
the whores go fucking mental.
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Her point is valid, her reasoning is a little exaggerated. Some women like to suggest that they go to war when its that time of the month.
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Her point is valid, her reasoning is a little exaggerated. Some women like to suggest that they go to war when its that time of the month.
This one is saying she gets 'jacked up on codein and brufen' so she shouldn't be feeling any pain anyway. Just a weak person.
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I hope this Mr. Thatcher replied something like "I'll get back to you next week, after your period is over and you're back to normal. Until then, have a happy period ;)"
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Daddy Waddy sounded like this after taking fourth.