Would finding out that your husband of many years (not your boyfriend) had seen a hooker end your relationship?
Somehow, I doubt that this marriage is going to end over this. Your thoughts?
Would finding out that your husband of many years (not your boyfriend) had seen a hooker end your relationship?Yes
I think it will end.
Somehow, I doubt that this marriage is going to end over this. Your thoughts?
Yes
I think it will end.
I have absolutely no tolerance for anyone who cheats. They wouldn't even have the opportunity to remove my shoe from their ass before they were out the door. ;)
Would you consider "Machine Porn" (Sybian) cheating???????................I'd consider it having a problem in your relationship that you have the need to use one. ;D
Are you married? Have you been married for years with children? Or are you just answering theoretically? Women who stay with a man who cheated are often criticized, but I think it's a lot harder to give up on a marriage after you've invested so many years together and children are involved. Especially if you love the guy and he is otherwise (aside from cheating with a hooker :-\ ) a good spouse.Yes, I've been married almost 14 years. No children.
No, I wouldn't date him. I don't know who would date him; I'm sure there are plenty of women that wouldn't have a problem w/it and that's fine for them.
Here's another thought. Assuming she leaves him what are his prospects? Would you date someone who had this very public episode in his past even if he had $$? If not you, what kind of woman would date or marry a man like this?
If he ends up single when this is all over, what sort of woman does he go for?probably hookers
Are people judging Silda? I haven't seen that.
The unspoken element in all the press coverage of this story is what I call the "cockroach effect." For every one you see, there are literally dozens you don't see. Hillary Clinton, Jim McGreevy, Terry McMillan, Mrs. Larry Craig, Mrs. Ted Haggard--all had cheating spouses but the incidence of infidelity is far more common than all these judgmental talking heads on TV seem prepared to acknowledge.
No one--especially no woman--should be quick to judge Silda Spitzer. Remember the wife of Senator David Vitter (R-La)? Years ago in an interview she mocked Hillary Clinton and indicated she had better control of her man and that she would not tolerate him cheating on her. Fast forward a few years and her words came back to haunt her when her husband's name and number showed up on the DC Madam's phone records. http://www.thekansan.com/stories/071007/topstories_071007006.shtml
The fact that Silda stood there next to him during his little news conference suggests to me that she may not leave him. He'd be in the doghouse for a good long while and she could milk that for a while... ;) Seriously, with a lot of marriage counseling they could work things out and still make a go of it, don't you think?
Yes, I've been married almost 14 years. No children.
I'm not criticizing anyone who stays w/a cheater...that is their decision.
Your question was if he cheated w/a hooker....that indicates to me a planned, intentionally devious escapade. It's not like it was a "mistake." If he sought out and paid for a hooker, he is not who I thought he was.
No, I wouldn't date him. I don't know who would date him; I'm sure there are plenty of women that wouldn't have a problem w/it and that's fine for them.
probably hookers
Are people judging Silda? I haven't seen that.
Why stand by these men?
A disgraced politician apologizes to the public, wife by his side. He has to be there. What's her reason?
By Nara Schoenberg
March 12, 2008
The sight of a political wife standing at her husband's side as he issues an awkward apology in connection with an alleged sexual indiscretion is at once heart-wrenchingly particular and oddly familiar.
Haven't we seen it all before?
Indeed, Silda Wall Spitzer's appearance in support of her husband, Eliot, the New York governor who allegedly met with a prostitute, echoed that of Dina McGreevey, the former New Jersey first lady whose husband in 2004 admitted to an affair with a man, right down to the wife's choice of attire (pastel blue jacket) and accessories (demure pearls).
In what is developing into a set piece of American political scandal, Silda Spitzer chose to deploy the silence of Suzanne Craig, wife of Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, and the G-rated physical contact (hand-holding) of Carlita Kilpatrick, wife of Kwame Kilpatrick, mayor of Detroit.
"That's always" the case, that the wife makes an official appearance in the face of sexual scandal, says Kathleen Gilbert, an associate professor of family studies at Indiana University. "Even if they want to kill him, they're there."
What these women are going through is probably "pretty horrifying," says Gilbert, but their options are few: "Just try to put yourself in their shoes and think of all these years you have portrayed a public role. In some ways, it becomes automatic. This is what you do. You're a good soldier and you go in and you play the role."
Many political spouses are impressive figures in their own right, including Silda Spitzer, a Harvard-trained lawyer.
Experts offered a wide range of reasons why a political spouse might choose to undergo the humiliation of a public appearance in behalf of her husband: the alleged indiscretion might be a first stumble, the wife might be planning divorce but want the best possible settlement, or she might be deeply invested in her husband's political agenda.
Dina McGreevey said in an " Oprah Winfrey" interview that it was difficult to appear at her husband's side, but she did so for the sake of their then 2-year-old daughter.
"I thought about it, and I thought, well, I've stood by his side all these years. We have a daughter together, and one day she's going to hear about this or read about it, and she's going to ask me, 'Mommy, why weren't you at Daddy's side?'" she says.
The appearance by the wife accomplishes at least one thing, according to Northwestern University political science professor Kenneth Janda: "It tends to make the offense seem somewhat less serious. If the wife were not there, it would appear the family had fallen apart."
Interestingly, though, the trot-out-the-wife technique may be no more beneficial to politicians than it is pleasant for their spouses.
"It rarely works," says Brian Gaines, an assistant professor at the Institute of Government and Public Affairs at the University of Illinois.
"McGreevey was basically throwing in the towel anyway. He was stepping down. Craig I think is making it interesting and stretching it out, but I think his political career is over as well" as a result of allegations he tried to solicit sex in an airport restroom.
In political science, researchers have found that likability is not nearly as important in weathering a scandal as competence, Gaines says.
"People will forgive a scandal if they think a politician or candidate is particularly competent. And in [Bill] Clinton's case I think it was competence that saved him. People thought: Well, I wouldn't want him alone in an elevator with my daughter, but he seems pretty good at running the economy."
And what of the women who are called upon to perform the painful -- and maybe ineffective -- role of supportive spouse in a sex scandal?
Some, most notably Hillary Clinton, emerge largely unscathed, although it is worth noting that she did not appear at her husband's side during the live televised address in which he confessed to an inappropriate relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
Suzanne Craig is still soldiering on, according to news reports.
Silda Spitzer, 50, who is raising three teenage daughters, has not yet deviated from the standard script.
But McGreevey not only appeared on "Oprah" but wrote a book, "Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage."
McGreevey, who listened with an incongruous smile on her face as her husband announced that he was gay, later told Winfrey, "I smiled because I didn't want to break down. But, as his world was falling apart, he was still choreographing the entire day and how everything would play out. [He] told me when to smile, what to say if I was asked a question by reporters.
"He was telling me what to do, and he said, 'You have to be Jackie Kennedy today.' And I'm thinking, 'Jackie Kennedy -- her husband was murdered. You lied and cheated on me, and I have to be Jackie Kennedy?'"
Jess!................please keep your posts down to a Short Story (not a Novel!)Just don't read the article nerdlinger! I mean Goober!
TY!.........(the management)
Just don't read the article nerdlinger! I mean Goober!
::) at Bay comparing himself to Spitzer.
Spitzer's dad is worth close to a billion dollars.
And Spitzer can be quite personable.
I'm sure there will always be someone willing to hook up with him
I just know they won't be there for his "charm"
he's a putz with big ears and a idiot look about him
his name should be Goober
Here's another thought. Assuming she leaves him what are his prospects? Would you date someone who had this very public episode in his past even if he had $$? If not you, what kind of woman would date or marry a man like this?
LOL. He's an extremely wealthy, intelligent, and ambitious man. I doubt there's five women in a hundred who wouldn't jump in the sack with him.
The interesting thing is he opted for a hooker....
Maybe hookers are easier to get rid of.
Stella:Do you think he'll keep seeing hookers on the side?
For the most part, I like your answers. You go girl!
>Q. If he ends up single when this is all over, what sort of woman does he go for?
>A. probably hookers
I don’t’ think he would go for a hooker type. At least not for a relationship. Remember, his wife was also a Harvard law school grad. I think guys like this want what they consider a peer in a relationship. Someone respectable they can introduce to family and friends, & whom they can enjoy talking to day to day... but they want a whore in the sac. Someone who will do whatever they want with no questions ask.
Hmm, I think I just described myself! :-[ ;D
Do you think he'll keep seeing hookers on the side?
That's what I've been wondering too STella :-\Yeah, seems like whomever dates him if he becomes single should take it into consideration
Do you think he'll keep seeing hookers on the side?
Are people judging Silda? I haven't seen that.
Probably, ...but it's none of my business if he does.
you're Canadian so is anything that goes on here like this going to affect you ?
and he's out of office come Monday we'll have a new Govenor so none of us will care what he does
I'm a NY'er and I find this another scab on my state inflicted by an idiot who couldn't think with the proper head
The only "scab on the state" as you put it, are the self-righteous who can't keep their noses out of other people's bedrooms. This should be between him and his wife.
Yes, they are!That's interesting :(
This should be between him and his wife.And some hookers!
I think she may be in shock and that is why she is standing by him at this time. I still think she will leave him at some point.
Exacty...Spitzer's dad is worth close to a billion dollars...which is the exact reason why his idiot wife is "standing by her man". No normal woman/person in their right mind would stay with any man who had sexual affairs with multiple hookers/escorts. In the end, greed gets 'em all. In the end, its all about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
::) at Bay comparing himself to Spitzer.
Spitzer's dad is worth close to a billion dollars.
And Spitzer can be quite personable.
Exacty...Spitzer's dad is worth close to a billion dollars...which is the exact reason why his idiot wife is "standing by her man". No normal woman/person in their right mind would stay with any man who had sexual affairs with multiple hookers/escorts. In the end, greed gets 'em all. In the end, its all about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Somehow, I doubt that this marriage is going to end over this. Your thoughts?
dude look at his wife ...............now look at the whore
if you were a guy who would you rather sleep with??!?!?
dude look at his wife ...............now look at the whoreIs that your reasoning? Shit, let's hope some better looking whore doesn't introduce herself to you. >:(
if you were a guy who would you rather sleep with??!?!?
Ok, but we have not seen pix of the whore(s) David Vitter romped with. The above is a pic of Spitzer's whore. And in fairness to Vitter's catty wife, she was not exactly at her best when her pic was taken. Can any 50 something wife compete with a 20 something whore for sex appeal? It's not a fair comparison. :-[
Is that your reasoning? Shit, let's hope some better looking whore doesn't introduce herself to you. >:(
Mr. Arvilla, let me introduce you to the sleep sofa in the other bedroom. >:(
Is that your reasoning? Shit, let's hope some better looking whore doesn't introduce herself to you. >:(
Mr. Arvilla, let me introduce you to the sleep sofa in the other bedroom. >:(
well then HE should have invited HER into a 3-some and not kept a dirty little secret
Hee hee ;D
I disagree. The motivation you describe may be true for you and the company you keep, but it is certainly not true for everyone or every woman, particularly a woman who already has (or has access to money). Remember, Silda is a well educated professional; she made very good money as a (corporate?) attorney before she started raising her family—in fact she made much more money than her husband.
Lots of (not famous) people stay together after affairs, multiple affairs, or episodes with hookers—particularly when a long marriage or children are involved. You just don’t know about it because they are not celebrities.
Maybe you cannot understand it because you are a person of modest means or you’ve never been married for a long time or been invested in a relationship that you want to save, but take a lesson from Wendy Vitter (above); it is easy to make catty comments from the sidelines, but people who do so most often don't know what they are talking about.
I’m not judging the decision to stay as right or wrong, but I think it’s a mistake to assume that everyone is motivated by the same things you are. Btw, if Silda wanted to leave it’s clear she could do so with a sizeable settlement--and she may yet do so throwing your theory out the window.
Is that your reasoning? Shit, let's hope some better looking whore doesn't introduce herself to you. >:(
Mr. Arvilla, let me introduce you to the sleep sofa in the other bedroom. >:(
im just playing devils advocate................ ......(trying to stir things up a bit!)Well, truth be told, hope he had his fun because if she does leave him....she's taking a whole lotta cash and leaving a funny looking, pathetic, obviously stupid, cheater of a man. ;D
you should know that/me by now
i love you!
(even when your 50 ) ;)
Ok, but we have not seen pix of the whore(s) David Vitter romped with. The above is a pic of Spitzer's whore. And in fairness to Vitter's catty wife, she was not exactly at her best when her pic was taken. Can any 50 something wife compete with a 20 something whore for sex appeal? It's not a fair comparison. :-[
In politics, money talks and bullshit walks. I still stand by my opinion earlier because if you think for one second that Silda is not staying with him for $$$ then you're living in a fantasy land.Only if there was a pre-nup. Otherwise...his ass is grass. >:(
In politics, money talks and bullshit walks. I still stand by my opinion earlier because if you think for one second that Silda is not staying with him for $$$ then you're living in a fantasy land.
Who is that? She has HUGE eyeballs. :Pone hit wonder.................. .she sang that song live at Tantra
one hit wonder.................. .she sang that song live at Tantra20 hits? :o It's a wonder you have any brain function.
pretty good!
(i was on like 20 hits of E tho.................2 dogs howling prolly sound good to me then!)
Only if there was a pre-nup. Otherwise...his ass is grass. >:(You are right there....there is no room for infidilty.
Are people judging Silda? I haven't seen that.
She should thank her lucky stars for a man like Spitz!
Yep... and they are still doing it...
What Was Silda Spitzer Thinking?
Once, just once, wouldn’t you love to see the politician up there at the lectern sweating bullets, apologizing for letting down his wife and family …. alone?
Once, just once, wouldn’t you love to see the wife issuing her own statement saying that what he had done was unacceptable and that she was leaving him?
Sally Quinn is forgetting about that wife in Europe... I can't remember if it was Berlusconi's or someone else's who wrote a letter to the editor of the national newspaper excoriating her husband for some innappropriate public remarks he made about another women. She described his comments as both sexist, and demeaning to all women, and particularly offensive & humiliating to her, and demanded a public apology and for him to conduct himself in a manner more worthy of her, her children, and the office he held. To top it off, the letter was sent to the editor of a rival newspaper to the one her husband owned. She roasted his cohones and stood up for herself in a way that was a PR nightmare for him. I can only imgine how uncomfortable she made it for him BEHIND closed doors. {lol}
I believe it was in Italy and the man was none other than (former prime minister) Silvio Berlusconi a consumate womanizer. His wife took out an ad in the paper excoriating him for his bad behavior and demanding an apology. Which he promptly provided.
Now that's whip appeal! :)
Silvio Berlusconi, ...the poster boy for men who behave badly. I can only imagine what she must have had to endure over the years. Talk about feeding 2 birds with one worm. Newspaper sales skyrocketed, but it was the rival newspaper that benefitted from the skyrocketing sales.
There's things that really should be kept private between husbands and wives :-\
Silvio Berlusconi, ...the poster boy for men who behave badly. I can only imagine what she must have had to endure over the years. Talk about feeding 2 birds with one worm. Newspaper sales skyrocketed, but it was the rival newspaper that benefitted from the skyrocketing sales.
I agree, but in Mrs. Berlusconi's case, ...I think she had just had enough.
It was clear the private communication hadn't done much to resolve the problem.
I guess she decided to tackle the problem using a different approach, which was evidently very effective.
Personally, I don't have much of a problem with someone who decides to air his/her dirty laundry in public.
As someone party to the situation that's her right to do I suppose. I just have a problem with it when someone outside of the situation takes it upon themselves to air someone else's dirty laundry in public.
It's like we've turned into a society of self-righteous & sanctimonious tabloid reporters. That, I don't believe they have the right to do.
Personally , I can live with every bit of my dirty laundry being aired on any headline.
I don't think any public representative that claims to represent a citizen in my country in any way has a right to expect anything less than full disclosure or suffer the consequences if it's found out by anyone else.
Self worth instead of self absorption
Self respect instead of self centered
dignity not disgrace
Well, truth be told, hope he had his fun because if she does leave him....she's taking a whole lotta cash and leaving a funny looking, pathetic, obviously stupid, cheater of a man. ;D
Fair enough. When are you marching on Washington? ...Or is it Crawford?
Does she have the moral right to "take a whole lotta cash"? Marriage is a business agreement, that's for sure. Specially when a woman is married to a rich fellow. He should have taken care of business before he got married, so that when they eventually divorce, the woman get the least amount of money possible. Even better is, don't marry if it doesn't benefit you (man) financially. A marriage just out of love is very risky.
A good woman is hard to find. I meet a lot of women who are definitely not marriage material. :)
Random musings:
* Doesn't Silda look a lot like Annette Benning?
only thing Silda looks like is re-fried beans!That lady isn't Silda you nerdlinger!
That lady isn't Silda you nerdlinger!
8) I'm planning on Toronto , seems to be a need for some rational thinking up there moreso ,poor Playboy is all on his own 8)
huh?
u ladies ok today>?
8) I'm planning on Toronto , seems to be a need for some rational thinking up there moreso ,poor Playboy is all on his own 8)That I am ;) I like the fall. The fall is a great time of the year. 8) :-*
Bush wouldn't be elected to a third term even if it were permitted. But, as a Republican would wouldn't have minded a third Eisenhower or Reagan term if either had been young and healthy enough to serve, I think still term limits are a good idea. Anyone crazy enough to want to be president (and to do what is necessary to become president) needs to be watched closely.
How did we get off on this topic? I thought this board was for girls and about muscles.
Ok, but we have not seen pix of the whore(s) David Vitter romped with. The above is a pic of Spitzer's whore. And in fairness to Vitter's catty wife, she was not exactly at her best when her pic was taken. Can any 50 something wife compete with a 20 something whore for sex appeal? It's not a fair comparison. :-[
Anyhow, give me a choice between a muscledaddy (Leo) and a muscle son (Ryan) and I'd take the daddy. ;D
Yes
I think it will end.
Do you still think it will end? ???Yes. But I may just be projecting my own feelings into the situation and could of course be wrong and they may stay together until death.
He did see fit to assert that when he was attorney general he was “pursuing issues that nobody else wanted to pursue.” He added: “Now it is the flavor of the month. Everyone’s jumping up and down serving subpoenas, beating their chests trying to be tougher than the next person.”Oh brother. He is the coolest ::)
Given the untidy manner in which Mr. Spitzer left office — a prostitution scandal — is his the voice people want to hear on ethical behavior?no
call me a sap..romantic..blah...
i'd never ever ever cheat on my girl....
the thought of it wouldn't even occur...
there r plenty of other ways of having fun...
if u cheat...u have serious selfesteem issues
In many animal species,
i'm not an animal...i consider myself to be more evolved...( i am MUCH smarter and capable of denying instincts....which makes me human)
you might consider yourself to be such as or not...
that is your choice...
PLEASE...from now on DO NOT compare me to animals...
i consider myself to be MUCH MUCH better...
even if you dont
thanx
"Escort Ashley Youmans (aka Ashley Alexandre Dupre as she liked to call herself), the woman at the center of the Eliot Spitzer sex for hire scandal, obviously spent some of her earnings from the Emperor’s Club on rhinoplasty and the results are not good. Too much was carved off her nose. The doctor should have good for a more natural look. She looks obviously surgeried and that is not attractive"
Seriously Bay... she's an escort. Do you think she cares what a gay man thinks about her attractiveness?
Does your opinion on this really matter? Does her appearance affect you or your life in any way?
I mean... it's not like you were in the market, ...and if her nose wasn't so unrealistic, you'd consider her services? ???
If it makes you feel better, that quote was taken from www.awfulplasticsurgery. com/ (notice the quotation marks). I have no opinion on Ashley’s looks one way or another. Though I do think it is sad that so many women (and now men) feel the need to try to alter/improve their looks via cosmetic surgery. As we have all seen time and again, low self esteem cannot be cured via cosmetic surgery. ::)
ELIOT SPITZER'S WANDERING EYE ON AG
BEHIND Eliot Spitzer's flaccid attempt at re-erecting
{blush} :-[ mea culpa.
No it doesn't make me feel better. it makes me feel silly.
I should have known you were above such pettiness and was merely quoting someone else.
And yes, low self-esteem cannot be cured by plastic surgery, ...but physical imperfections can be improved upon.
I don't hold it against people who have had plastic surgery to enhance their appearances, ...but they have to have a healthy self-esteem to begin with. There is no doubt that plastic surgery can go a long way to enhancing one's physique and income (depending on their profession), but it's like anything else, you have to have a good self esteem to begin with. I see it no differently than enhancing your physique through bodybuilding. The only thing is, there are some parts (structural and otherwise) that simply cannot be altered by hard work in the gym, so why not go under the knife?
Were you so eager to criticize me that you couldn’t take the time to read the text of that post and notice that it wasn’t authored by me?
Did that even sound like something I would write?
Obviously, you can recover from this self owning… but do yourself a favor and learn from it. You could have saved yourself this unnecessary embarrassment if you had simply said nothing. :-X(http://www.jaguarenterprises.net/images/em/embarassed.gif)
Maybe this is easy for me to say because I am basically happy with the way I look, but I think running off to have unnecessary cosmetic surgery perpetuates the very problem that people are trying to escape by having it—that there is a narrow definition of beauty we all must adhere to and if you don’t look that way then your features are unwelcome. When people have cosmetic surgery they calcify and perpetuate that ethos. In words and actions, I prefer to perpetuate the belief that beauty can come in many physical forms.
Don’t get me wrong, I think cosmetic surgery has its place. It was originally invented/implemented to repair the features of people were injured/scarred in accidents—particularly soldiers during war. If my features were marred in an accident, I would definitely want surgery to repair my face, but that is not the use of cosmetic surgery we are seeing today.
The reflections on Ashley are hardly knee-jerk. She was covered extensively in the press and even sat for interviews detailing her side of the story. Young whores (I don’t use that term lightly; in this case it is most fitting) are not exactly known for having high self-esteem.
Maybe she had cosmetic surgery to fix a broken nose. Maybe this… maybe that… maybe a lot of things... It makes little sense for us to bend over backwards concocting ameliorating circumstances that would put a positive light on Ashley’s dark choices. Barring specific information to the contrary, concluding that she used proceeds from her work as a whore to indulge in gratuitous cosmetic surgery is an entirely reasonable supposition.
Several years ago, it was trendy to have a nose job and claim the surgery was necessary to fix a deviated septum. No one buys that line anymore. ::)
If we adhere to the argument you put forth here, we would all be precluded from ever commenting on anyone or anything in the public sphere because we don’t really KNOW them. That is silly. I (and other observers) never claimed to have deep insight into Ashley’s (or anyone else’s) soul. Often, we know what we need to know about people by their actions. The actions here are not exactly opaque. In fact, they are painfully transparent: young woman becomes a call girl (carrying all the baggage that goes with it) and runs off to have a nose job (it could just as easily have been a boob job) with the proceeds.
It's not that complicated.
As you note, there are always “other possibilities” but proffering fanciful alternatives in an effort to escape an obvious conclusion just makes you look silly.
That sounds nice and self-serving, but biology and other branches of science have learned, and continue to learn, a great deal about human behavior, health, and social dynamics from observing animals. Virtually every medical and health treatment humans enjoy today from pills, to dyes, to surgery was made possible by first using it on animals. Why are mice used in research laboratories all across the world? Because we have learned that the correspondence between mice and human anatomy and physiology is so close as to be very effective in transposing experiments and their results from mice to humans.explaination meltdown....its ok BGM...i dont expect ANYONE to be as honest as i am while being this good looking ;) i dont expect the general population to live up to my moral standards....i just expected better cause you happen to be a college prof...meh..watcha gonna do..live learn..blah...
We are now at point where we have organs being transplanted from pigs into human beings. Would you accept a pig organ transplant if doctors told you that was the best way to save your life or are you too good to consider accepting an organ from a mere animal?
If bragging that you are so much better than animals makes you feel better about yourself so be it, but virtually any scientist in any of the life sciences recognizes humans as animals. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but practically speaking I do consider you an animal and so does most of the rest of the world.
In any case, my larger point remains: one on one monogamy is a relatively recent invention. Had you been born in a different country or in a different time your attitudes about it would be consistent with the environment you were raised in and thus very different from the high horse perch on which you apparently now sit.
There's a big difference between behavioral intent and actual behavior, and that is exactly what seperates humans from other animals. By far the biggest difference between humans and other animals is our cognitive abilitie: We can empathise, plan and understand consequences of our actions.
Yes, a lot of physical processes are pretty much analogous to human processes, not always the same. This is of course mirrored in research, where animal research is just the stepping stone towards studies on humans. This is especially poignant in psychological research, animal studies were mostly the domain of the behaviourists, a largely outdated school of thought on human behaviour.
I agree with the notion that life-long monogamy is an unrealistic notion. However, this does not move us in the direction of polygamy per sé. Relationships and feelings evolve, often at different speeds and directions. People get bored with each other, love wanes. We can opt to end the relationship and become available for a new relationship. Infidelity is the easy way out: I don't care what my primal instincts tells me, I can still control my actions. You can also choose to enter an open relationship, where both or more partners put their cards on the table at the start.
You've obviously never been left alone with a tub of Hagen Daaz, or had chocolate paraded in front of your face :P
You've obviously never been left alone with a tub of Hagen Daaz, or had chocolate paraded in front of your face :PI have remarkable self restraint, even on alcohol. I do allow myself some frivolities now and then ;D
I think it will end.
There's a big difference between behavioral intent and actual behavior, and that is exactly what seperates humans from other animals. By far the biggest difference between humans and other animals is our cognitive abilitie: We can empathise, plan and understand consequences of our actions.
Stella, do you still think it will end?
Yes
Interesting. What do you think is a reasonable or predictable time frame for a relationship to end over something like this? Based on what you said previously, I am assuming you would have left already if you were in Silda’s shoes…? All relationships end eventually, but given that she is still there, within what time horizon do you think it is reasonable to say that she left because of this episode? If she leaves 5 years after the affair was this the cause? How about 10 years later? 20?, etc.
Butterbean do you still think it will end?
I think she would leave before or by mid 2011....but like I said they could make it work and maybe I am projecting my own feelings upon her.
Your deadline (mid 2011) has passed. Silda is not going anywhere. If she were going to leave she certainly would have done it already. :-\
I take your point, but I do think spouses are under an obligation to recognize and meet one another's sexual needs. It is not reasonable to expect your spouse to go without sex.
Butterbean do you still think it will end?