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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 09:34:43 PM

Title: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 09:34:43 PM
......while walking my dog.  Even though it was dark & I got this big Rottweiler....I knew the two of them were going to stop say something.  It's their life mission.

So this one said "excuse me sir....let me show you....."

I cut him off and said "get your shit out of my face"

He replied..."Have a good night"



I said "fucking die....drop dead"
































it's a good think he didn't try petting my dog.  He really likes people & would have wanted to play.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: chaos on July 17, 2008, 09:47:41 PM
Well aren't you just the socialable little kunt? :D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 09:52:10 PM
yeah....it's one of my most shining personality traits

Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: candidizzle on July 17, 2008, 09:53:11 PM
i had two guys come to my door doing that shit for the mormons. funny thing is, i got a VERY homosexual vibe off these two 'men of god' !  ;D   ;D   ;D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 09:55:14 PM
wow...gay religious people?


now there's a stretch
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: chaos on July 17, 2008, 09:56:26 PM
wow...gay religious people?


now there's a stretch
What's the difference between a priest and acne?








































Acne comes on a boys face after he turns 13.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: candidizzle on July 17, 2008, 09:58:02 PM
wow...gay religious people?


now there's a stretch
the short fat one had a lisp and goofy look and when i told him i wasnt interested in his talk he asked if there "was anything at all else i could do for you while were here ?"


i was like..uuuhhh wtf??!!   did you just offere to suck my dick.??? hahah (of course i didnt say that aloud, but its what i was thinking)

i just laughed and said no thanks

then he said, and in not making this up to try to sound sbig.. im nto big at all this guy is just a queer,...
he said
"not that i could do anything for you, other than maybe let you bench press me "

 :-X

swear to god this happened

fuckin nuts
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: nicky.smth on July 17, 2008, 09:58:45 PM
What's the difference between a priest and acne?























Acne comes on a boys face after he turns 13.


LMTO
laughing my testicles off ;D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 10:02:35 PM
Priests are gay?

is that possible?

Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: chaos on July 17, 2008, 10:04:17 PM
Priests are gay?

is that possible?


Not gay, knny, pedophiles, there is a difference, figure it out.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 10:06:32 PM
Not gay, knny, pedophiles, there is a difference, figure it out.


well....if a priest molested a young girl....that wouldn't make headlines
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: chaos on July 17, 2008, 10:08:36 PM


well....if a priest molested a young girl....that wouldn't make headlines
Not until her psychologist dug up the repressed memory and she sued for millions.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 17, 2008, 10:12:06 PM
Not until her psychologist dug up the repressed memory and she sued for millions.


Shit...millions would bother the vatican
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: gordiano on July 17, 2008, 10:58:09 PM
the short fat one had a lisp and goofy look and when i told him i wasnt interested in his talk he asked if there "was anything at all else i could do for you while were here ?"


i was like..uuuhhh wtf??!!   did you just offere to suck my dick.??? hahah (of course i didnt say that aloud, but its what i was thinking)

i just laughed and said no thanks

then he said, and in not making this up to try to sound sbig.. im nto big at all this guy is just a queer,...
he said
"not that i could do anything for you, other than maybe let you bench press me "

 :-X

swear to god this happened

fuckin nuts


WTF? That's some creepy shit.... :-\
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: calfzilla on July 18, 2008, 12:18:24 AM
......while walking my dog.  Even though it was dark & I got this big Rottweiler....I knew the two of them were going to stop say something.  It's their life mission.

So this one said "excuse me sir....let me show you....."

I cut him off and said "get your shit out of my face"

He replied..."Have a good night"



I said "fucking die....drop dead"
































it's a good think he didn't try petting my dog.  He really likes people & would have wanted to play.

Brutal attempt at trying to disrupt your cardio.  Fucking religious nuts. 
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: DK II on July 18, 2008, 01:02:20 AM
i was once approached by a Jehova's witness and i told him,

"I'm sorry, i'm buddhist. I don't believe in your god." and he replied "Well, what would god think about this"

to which i answered "I don't care, because i don't believe in him".

He just gave me a clueless stare and went off.

Kind of idiotic, being a missionary all the time.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: ozman on July 18, 2008, 01:05:48 AM
where I live there are heaps of Moslems

the JW's and others don't even bother
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: KillerMonk on July 18, 2008, 01:28:43 AM
20 years ago a freind ansewered the door to these christians, he dropped his pants and said blow me.

It was funny because they called the police.The police came over to his house and asked him to refrain from doing this in the future, it was hilarious the cops could hardly keep a straight face ;D
Wish i was 16 again.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: DK II on July 18, 2008, 01:36:04 AM
20 years ago a freind ansewered the door to these christians, he dropped his pants and said blow me.

It was funny because they called the police.The police came over to his house and asked him to refrain from doing this in the future, it was hilarious the cops could hardly keep a straight face ;D
Wish i was 16 again.

LOL!

A friend from highschool had almost the same story. He was fucking his gf when JW rang on the door. He just opened the door spotting a boner and asked them to watch, after that they could talk.

Needless to say, they never came again.  ;D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Tombo on July 18, 2008, 01:47:46 AM
yeah....it's one of my most shining personality traits



ur mean
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: KillerMonk on July 18, 2008, 01:52:10 AM
Also had a Freind from Highschool who would always swear using the term "JESUS CHRIST" never fuck,shit.
His stepmom was very religous and use to give him a backhand across the face when he used this term, one time everytime she hit him he would shout "JESUS CHRIST" and make it worse.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: SAMSON123 on July 18, 2008, 01:57:07 AM
......while walking my dog.  Even though it was dark & I got this big Rottweiler....I knew the two of them were going to stop say something.  It's their life mission.

So this one said "excuse me sir....let me show you....."

I cut him off and said "get your shit out of my face"

He replied..."Have a good night"



I said "fucking die....drop dead"
































it's a good think he didn't try petting my dog.  He really likes people & would have wanted to play.

THAT WILL GET YOU TO HEAVEN QUICK....
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Kwon on July 18, 2008, 02:22:54 AM
Nice one Kenny, Does Fiddy Juice.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: BroadStreetBruiser on July 18, 2008, 03:48:17 AM
disrespect to strangers is soooo cool.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: local hero on July 18, 2008, 04:50:57 AM
hope you all realise you wont be one of the 1000000 people alowed into heaven now..... well done !
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: DK II on July 18, 2008, 04:51:42 AM
hope you all realise you wont be one of the 1000000 people alowed into heaven now..... well done !

who wants to go to heaven when it is full of jehova's witnesses?  ??? :( :(
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: bigdumbbell on July 18, 2008, 04:57:52 AM
who wants to go to heaven when it is full of jehova's witnesses?  ??? :( :(
ya and christianity is a cult.  it's only 2010 years old.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Luolamies on July 18, 2008, 06:47:43 AM
I swear its the same in any country. Jehovas witnesses have been bothering me like three years now. I'm not shitting you, just this past year they have been at my door for like ten times. I'm allways very polite, but maybe i should just tell them fuck off. It's just that i really feel sorry for these people, i'd never ever bother people in their homes with some weird shit. To make it worse last time they were behind my door i got into this argument about evolution with them. I mean how can you not believe in evolution? Usually it's this 40-year old bitch with some one else, maybe she's coming back because of something else? I should just try that "blow me" approach...

Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Moosejay on July 18, 2008, 06:49:00 AM
I swear its the same in any country. Jehovas witnesses have been bothering me like three years now. I'm not shitting you, just this past year they have been at my door for like ten times. I'm allways very polite, but maybe i should just tell them fuck off. It's just that i really feel sorry for these people, i'd never ever bother people in their homes with some weird shit. To make it worse last time they were behind my door i got into this argument about evolution with them. I mean how can you not believe in evolution? Usually it's this 40-year old bitch with some one else, maybe she's coming back because of something else? I should just try that "blow me" approach...



Luolamies:

do what I do:

Tell em you worship the devil...you will not see em again

moosejay approved
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Luolamies on July 18, 2008, 06:57:52 AM
Luolamies:

do what I do:

Tell em you worship the devil...you will not see em again

moosejay approved

Actually this is exactly what my kid-brother does... He says something like "you interrupted my blood ceremony" and on top of that he has this huge fucking dog that barks and goes nut everytime someones at the door...
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Moosejay on July 18, 2008, 07:02:36 AM
Actually this is exactly what my kid-brother does... He says something like "you interrupted my blood ceremony" and on top of that he has this huge fucking dog that barks and goes nut everytime someones at the door...

Beautiful.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 18, 2008, 07:24:39 AM
after having time to sit, reflect, & think about this....maybe I was wrong.







































I had a bag of shit my dog just made & I should have thrown it at them

 ;D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: CalvinH on July 18, 2008, 08:04:19 AM
When I was young 2 jehovas came to the door of my buds where we were hangin out at.my buds father,this little old Italian guy who spoke broken english FREAKED out on them.he chased them outta his yard threatening to hit them with a big ol' wrench. :D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Dreadlord on July 18, 2008, 08:34:53 AM
ahhhh....religious freaks mocked and laughed at

Damn....this board rocks ;D
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: SAMSON123 on July 18, 2008, 08:40:48 AM
hope you all realise you wont be one of the 1000000 people alowed into heaven now..... well done !

WHO TOLD YOU ONLY 1000000 WILL BE IN HEAVEN???
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Bluto on July 18, 2008, 08:51:17 AM
what a pussy need a dog to feel safe and only then can he curse at strangers

Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Tapeworm on July 18, 2008, 08:56:21 AM
Never tell anyone outside the family what you're thinking.
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Royalty on July 18, 2008, 09:00:16 AM
......while walking my dog.  Even though it was dark & I got this big Rottweiler....I knew the two of them were going to stop say something.  It's their life mission.

So this one said "excuse me sir....let me show you....."

I cut him off and said "get your shit out of my face"

He replied..."Have a good night"



I said "fucking die....drop dead"
































it's a good think he didn't try petting my dog.  He really likes people & would have wanted to play.


You did good to cut them off and get away from them. Dont waste a second talking to them dude. Props!
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: Moosejay on July 18, 2008, 09:03:43 AM
What do you do/ say when a 'bum' asks you for money in the city?

I say,

"I was just going to ask YOU for money..."
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: The Luke on July 18, 2008, 09:32:05 AM
I keep a copy of Richard Dawkins "The God Delusion" by my front door.

Whenever the Jehovies knock (3 times in the last 15 years) I invite them in, accept whatever pamphlet they proffer then ask them if they have accepted atheism into their lives, hold up the book and tell them I'd like to read it to them.

Works every time... (and they never come back).


My younger bother (starting a chemistry PhD) actually runs these guys off campus when they attempt to recruit in University College Dublin... he asks them awkward philosophical questions regarding the Church of Latter Day Saints stance on subjects such as:
-the Aryan heresy
-the Albigensian heresy
-the Cathar heresy
-the Cappocratian heresy
-the doctrine of Diabolical Mimicry
-the Dionysus/Osirus astrological metaphor interpretation of the New Testament

...this stuff would make a professor of theology cry. Sometimes he actually breaks these Scientology/Jehovah's Witness recruiters and they leave their church!

No confrontation, no dismissals... just patient polite questions that fester in their subconscious... he treats it like a hobby.



The Luke 
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: knny187 on July 18, 2008, 09:44:01 AM
what a pussy need a dog to feel safe and only then can he curse at strangers



actually...if you knew my dog....I go on walks with him to keep him safe

He wants to make friends with every stranger that walks by
Title: Re: Tonight I was approached by a Jehovah Witness....
Post by: hazbin on July 18, 2008, 09:52:11 AM
join the "Jehovah's Witness protection program"