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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 04:21:38 AM

Title: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 04:21:38 AM
around?

I often find myself planning my days out by approximately when I will have to take a shit. I don't want to have to take shits late at night usually and certainly during social situations as well...

Anyone relate?
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way.
Post by: Army of One on July 29, 2008, 04:26:29 AM
I did but then they invented this thing called the Toilet/Public Restroom/Bathroom and it made me stop worrying and planning ahead.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: DK II on July 29, 2008, 04:30:13 AM
around?

I often find myself planning my days out by approximately when I will have to take a shit. I don't want to have to take shits late at night usually and certainly during social situations as well...

Anyone relate?

http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_brain_bowel_connection

http://www.helpforheadaches.com/articles/gut-brain.htm

Quote
Mood and psychotic disorders are often linked to intestinal problems, malabsorption and toxins known as brain allergies. There may be a dietary cure for mental health.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way.
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 04:55:04 AM
I did but then they invented this thing called the Toilet/Public Restroom/Bathroom and it made me stop worrying and planning ahead.

So if you're on a date with a girl for the first time and you have to take a dump, it's not an issue?
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 04:59:50 AM
http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_brain_bowel_connection

http://www.helpforheadaches.com/articles/gut-brain.htm


Wie oft scheisst Du eigentlich am Tag? Ernsthafte Frage uebrigens....
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way.
Post by: spinnis on July 29, 2008, 05:02:41 AM
So if you're on a date with a girl for the first time and you have to take a dump, it's not an issue?

You need to stop worrying about shit
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: DK II on July 29, 2008, 05:03:07 AM
Wie oft scheisst Du eigentlich am Tag? Ernsthafte Frage uebrigens....

Keine Ahnung, ich führe nicht Buch darüber.

You need to stop worrying about shit

x2.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 05:04:28 AM
Keine Ahnung, ich führe nicht Buch darüber.

x2.

Hmm...komisch....bin ich der einzige, der sich Sorgen drum macht?
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: BroadStreetBruiser on July 29, 2008, 05:06:02 AM
I'm a true master of my shit.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: DK II on July 29, 2008, 05:06:10 AM
Hmm...komisch....bin ich der einzige, der sich Sorgen drum macht?

Nee nee, die Gedanken vieler 3-jähriger drehen sich um nichts anderes....  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 05:09:01 AM
I'm a true master of my shit.

Do you take dumps at will? I mean, that is a bold claim; are you in and out? What is arse wiping time?
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: 240 is Back on July 29, 2008, 05:21:17 AM
So if you're on a date with a girl for the first time and you have to take a dump, it's not an issue?

If you gotta drop a deuce, drop one.

If you're in your mid-20s, early 30s.... good looking, in shape, good career, disease free... you pretty much call the shots when it comes to girls.   Eat healthy foods on the date and in the 2 hours before it, drop a deuce right before you leave, and you'll be fine. 

Obviously, don't load up on tacoes then use her bathroom (adjacent to bedroom) for 30 minutes while she waits to get laid.  Plan it out, bring her to your house so you can park her in front of the tv and "go check on the cat's dish and check your voicemails" then disappear and crap away!
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 05:25:42 AM
If you gotta drop a deuce, drop one.

If you're in your mid-20s, early 30s.... good looking, in shape, good career, disease free... you pretty much call the shots when it comes to girls.   Eat healthy foods on the date and in the 2 hours before it, drop a deuce right before you leave, and you'll be fine. 

Obviously, don't load up on tacoes then use her bathroom (adjacent to bedroom) for 30 minutes while she waits to get laid.  Plan it out, bring her to your house so you can park her in front of the tv and "go check on the cat's dish and check your voicemails" then disappear and crap away!

Rather obvious...isn't it?
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: BroadStreetBruiser on July 29, 2008, 07:08:23 AM
Do you take dumps at will? I mean, that is a bold claim; are you in and out? What is arse wiping time?

Yes, this is achieved through scheduling and sticking to it. Wiping is about 15 seconds tops. Wet wipes followed with a drying routine of regular toilet paper. It's too easy.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Stavios on July 29, 2008, 07:16:28 AM
great thread

spot on as usual guys
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 07:21:13 AM
Yes, this is achieved through scheduling and sticking to it. Wiping is about 15 seconds tops. Wet wipes followed with a drying routine of regular toilet paper. It's too easy.

Wet wipes with drying routine...got it. Will apply advice the very next time! Cheers... :)
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: 240 is Back on July 29, 2008, 07:42:56 AM
Yes, this is achieved through scheduling and sticking to it. Wiping is about 15 seconds tops. Wet wipes followed with a drying routine of regular toilet paper. It's too easy.

I use those wipes every day to wipe the kid's tush.

I've often wondered what they'd feel like on my own crusty bottom.

Do I dare try?
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: BroadStreetBruiser on July 29, 2008, 07:44:51 AM
I use those wipes every day to wipe the kid's tush.

I've often wondered what they'd feel like on my own crusty bottom.

Do I dare try?

be warned, there is no going back. It's like taking a Pollock shower every time you wipe.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way.
Post by: 4thAD on July 29, 2008, 07:50:34 AM
wet wipes are a must for real hygiene. It will keep clean and fresh until your next shower.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: 240 is Back on July 29, 2008, 08:00:51 AM
be warned, there is no going back. It's like taking a Pollock shower every time you wipe.

I already carry a diaper bag everywhere I go.  Perhaps it is time I enjoyed the benefits of it as well.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way.
Post by: onlyme on July 29, 2008, 08:34:47 AM
around?

I often find myself planning my days out by approximately when I will have to take a shit. I don't want to have to take shits late at night usually and certainly during social situations as well...

Anyone relate?

Wear Depends or a diaper.  JohnnyVegas does
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 05:41:31 PM
I think there are definite genetic differences in arse wiping time...
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: NaturalWonder83 on July 29, 2008, 05:44:53 PM
if you ever need to take a shit and theres a lot of people in the house heres what u do...go in bathroom, turn on shower to scalding hot so it steams the bathroom...squirt bodywash or shampoo in the shower so the smell of the soap or shampoo fills room...take your shit and keep adding the soap to shower..then when u are done there is no bad smell in bathroom...imagine taking a dump with 50 people in the house and then when u walk out of bathroom your secret crush walks in...no bad smell to embarass you!!
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: Deicide on July 29, 2008, 05:47:52 PM
if you ever need to take a shit and theres a lot of people in the house heres what u do...go in bathroom, turn on shower to scalding hot so it steams the bathroom...squirt bodywash or shampoo in the shower so the smell of the soap or shampoo fills room...take your shit and keep adding the soap to shower..then when u are done there is no bad smell in bathroom...imagine taking a dump with 50 people in the house and then when u walk out of bathroom your secret crush walks in...no bad smell to embarass you!!

This is excellent advice! ;)
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: elite_lifter on July 29, 2008, 05:48:51 PM
if you ever need to take a shit and theres a lot of people in the house heres what u do...go in bathroom, turn on shower to scalding hot so it steams the bathroom...squirt bodywash or shampoo in the shower so the smell of the soap or shampoo fills room...take your shit and keep adding the soap to shower..then when u are done there is no bad smell in bathroom...imagine taking a dump with 50 people in the house and then when u walk out of bathroom your secret crush walks in...no bad smell to embarass you!!
overkill, light a match
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: NaturalWonder83 on July 29, 2008, 05:49:56 PM
This is excellent advice! ;)
it works great!
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: youandme on July 29, 2008, 07:47:06 PM
if you ever need to take a shit and theres a lot of people in the house heres what u do...go in bathroom, turn on shower to scalding hot so it steams the bathroom...squirt bodywash or shampoo in the shower so the smell of the soap or shampoo fills room...take your shit and keep adding the soap to shower..then when u are done there is no bad smell in bathroom...imagine taking a dump with 50 people in the house and then when u walk out of bathroom your secret crush walks in...no bad smell to embarass you!!

Umm so come out sweating balls from a steamed up bathroom? No thanks. Drop a deuce, spray some freshner and leave.

Dude wake up and drop a deuce get in the habit of doing that, and leave it at that.

Girls really don't care, they are actually waiting for a guy to drop a deace when they are present so they can fart, haha
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: 240 is Back on July 29, 2008, 07:48:52 PM
Umm so come out sweating balls from a steamed up bathroom? No thanks. Drop a deuce, spray some freshner and leave.

Dude wake up and drop a deuce get in the habit of doing that, and leave it at that.

Girls really don't care, they are actually waiting for a guy to drop a deace when they are present so they can fart, haha

Yeah.  besides, when you're a grown up, you have a house with 2 bathrooms anyway.  You park her ass on one side of the house, and you go to the other.  If you've had 1-2 pieces of fruit that day, you should drop one, clean up, and check your face in about 3 minutes.  Give her a pretty toy or ribbon to play with, and the time will fly by. 

IMO the true measure of success for a man is whether or not he has his own bathroom.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way....
Post by: youandme on July 29, 2008, 09:01:04 PM
I also have air freshners in every room, well glade plug ins - Those are key!
Protein seems to add extra sulphur smell, geesh.

Deicide you need to start drinking coffee, in the morning and a bit of water, and make your shit work around you not vice.

Morning time = Man's time, for privacy. Also you know your bowels are healthy when you seem to go to the bathroom around the same time each day.
Title: Re: Do you feel like your bowel movements control you rather than the other way.
Post by: DK II on July 30, 2008, 02:21:18 AM
if you ever need to take a shit and theres a lot of people in the house heres what u do...go in bathroom, turn on shower to scalding hot so it steams the bathroom...squirt bodywash or shampoo in the shower so the smell of the soap or shampoo fills room...take your shit and keep adding the soap to shower..then when u are done there is no bad smell in bathroom...imagine taking a dump with 50 people in the house and then when u walk out of bathroom your secret crush walks in...no bad smell to embarass you!!

Brutal advice for 15 year olds.

Imagine what your "secret crush" will think about you when she walks in a bathroom that is hot and steamy and you came out of it sweating and wet because of the steam.