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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: jehwit on September 28, 2009, 07:51:55 AM

Title: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: jehwit on September 28, 2009, 07:51:55 AM
It's 3am and your exhausted.  You slouch in a chair in the back of the dark, empty club surveying the wreckage left in the wake of The Joe Weider's Mr. Olympia After-Party: floor littered with cigarette butts, tables and chairs pushed and shoved into incongruous patterns, empty glasses and beer bottles everywhere, semi-deflated balloons hovering  ingloriously mid-air, like Skid Row has-beens.  The smell of stale smoke and booze fill your nostrils, and you're pondering what life really is about...All of a sudden, you hear footsteps...You lazily look to the left and see a vague human form stirring about in the darkness...The janitor?  The Bartender?  Who?  But wait...this shadow in the dark begins to take inhuman dimensions at it draws closer...human,yes, but so much more...my God!..it's Branch Warren, the Mr. Olympia Runner-up! "You work here?", he begins.  No, you respond as your senses come alive, you're just kind of still there, after an unbelievable night of partying, getting ready to leave..."Whatever", the mass monster cuts your feeble explanation off, your the sense of own insignificance heightened as this hunk of human perfection now stands only inches away, possessing a musculature that could only have been forged by the very hand of Hephaestus himself..."I left my keys somewhere in this place, and I have to find them."  The sound opportunity knocking reverberates, of course you could help...You ask Branch where he might have left them?  "Maybe on one of the tables over there, or maybe on the bar over there, or perhaps the dance floor...", he surveys the place, thinking..."Wait a minute," he is overcome by a new thought, "I was also next door, at the Mirage, by the Ice Machine...Why don't me and you walk over there and take a peek".
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Meso_z on September 28, 2009, 07:57:15 AM
hahahahahahahaahahaahahh ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: tendonitis on September 28, 2009, 07:59:44 AM
HAHAHA   I can't wait to hear how this ends up    ;D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: kyomu on September 28, 2009, 08:07:56 AM
Hahahahahahahaaa!!!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: _bruce_ on September 28, 2009, 08:18:47 AM
Bearfect  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Mars on September 28, 2009, 08:36:07 AM
haha keep em cumming
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: MAXX on September 28, 2009, 10:24:20 AM
BayGBM just came
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Cleanest Natural on September 28, 2009, 11:42:37 AM
I have tears in my eyes  :D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: EL Mariachi on September 28, 2009, 12:06:31 PM
excellent , excellent!! got any bob chick sequences there jehwit? maybe you can tell us wht went down in the mirage hotel, forgot the room number, but its next to the ice-machine!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Dr Kincaid on September 29, 2009, 12:19:04 AM
And to think Bleechman is desperate to publish this stuff.
 :-X
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: gordiano on September 29, 2009, 12:31:59 AM
It's 3am and your exhausted.  You slouch in a chair in the back of the dark, empty club surveying the wreckage left in the wake of The Joe Weider's Mr. Olympia After-Party: floor littered with cigarette butts, tables and chairs pushed and shoved into incongruous patterns, empty glasses and beer bottles everywhere, semi-deflated balloons hovering  ingloriously mid-air, like Skid Row has-beens.  The smell of stale smoke and booze fill your nostrils, and you're pondering what life really is about...All of a sudden, you hear footsteps...You lazily look to the left and see a vague human form stirring about in the darkness...The janitor?  The Bartender?  Who?  But wait...this shadow in the dark begins to take inhuman dimensions at it draws closer...human,yes, but so much more...my God!..it's Branch Warren, the Mr. Olympia Runner-up! "You work here?", he begins.  No, you respond as your senses come alive, you're just kind of still there, after an unbelievable night of partying, getting ready to leave..."Whatever", the mass monster cuts your feeble explanation off, your the sense of own insignificance heightened as this hunk of human perfection now stands only inches away, possessing a musculature that could only have been forged by the very hand of Hephaestus himself..."I left my keys somewhere in this place, and I have to find them."  The sound opportunity knocking reverberates, of course you could help...You ask Branch where he might have left them?  "Maybe on one of the tables over there, or maybe on the bar over there, or perhaps the dance floor...", he surveys the place, thinking..."Wait a minute," he is overcome by a new thought, "I was also next door, at the Mirage, by the Ice Machine...Why don't me and you walk over there and take a peek".

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Cleanest Natural on September 29, 2009, 01:39:16 AM
jehwit is at jean francois level plus humor

he is fucking delirious ( like edy murphy )
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: nzmusclemonster on September 29, 2009, 01:57:51 AM
Greatest post in Getbig history  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Wiggs on September 29, 2009, 07:26:58 AM
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
Hey fucker, it's been a day....Where is the next part?
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Blockhead on September 29, 2009, 02:13:45 PM

 LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!


 This one made me swallow (no homo) my Skoal!




 - Block!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Game Time on September 29, 2009, 02:26:28 PM
hahah, quality literature
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Radical Plato on September 29, 2009, 02:36:51 PM
I can't believe I read that rubbish!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: hugestatus on September 30, 2009, 02:16:19 AM
lol, be good to see db2431 make photoshops of these Branch Chapters.lol
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: jehwit on September 30, 2009, 10:30:13 AM
Branch leads the way out of the club.  The two of you an odd pairing: the testosterone driven megastud and a mediocre nobody making  your way through the dark parking lot littered with dormant cars.  Neon lights throbbingly proclaim "The Mirage".  You are drawn to the hotel like a moth to the flame.  The Olympia Runner Up is walking point, you take up the rear, comfortable in the safety of Branch's hypermasculinity.  As you enter the lobby a skinny Asian dude barely nods from behind the Front Desk.  You are just two more examples of human debris floating in this electric wasteland of sin and excess.  No more and no less.  Branch walks straight into the elevator, you take your place at his side.  The doors close and the ascent into the unknown begins.  Your ears subtly congest as the elevator car reaches  for the sixth floor for the hundred thousandth time.  The rig comes to a jarring stop and the doors once again open, beckoning you into the hallway.  Branch hooks a knowing left, and you follow.  There is a sound...a muffled groan...it's coming from up ahead on the right.  You see a man now.  He's a larger man.  Oddly old looking with a contrived youth about him.  He bulges with muscle beneath strange looking blue designer shirt.  The tan face vaguely good looking, but weather beaten.  His hair...something off about it...dark, wavy, almost perfect...yet...is it a wig?  A weave?  Like a good defense attorney, a hairpiece doesn't quite convince anyone, but it raises reasonable doubt...There is someone else there, too...you look...things are getting strange:  it is Ronald McDonald, the famous hamburger clown.  The bright red hair and the clown face...his eyes glazed over, he slumps against the ice machine.  His yellow outfit is disheveled and half unfastened...you look down, and his clown prick is exposed: it's white with a red tip...you look away...Branch is talking in the corner with the big guy with the wig...Branch looks at you and says his keys are in the hotel room over to the left with the open door, would you please go in and fetch them?...sure Branch, you say...you look over to the ice machine, the Celebrity Clown is now laughing demonically, silently, yet shaking to the point of near convulsion...
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: #1 Klaus fan on September 30, 2009, 12:11:43 PM
Not a single boring day at the Mirage Hotel.  ;D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Cleanest Natural on September 30, 2009, 12:15:56 PM
 :D

someone HAS to acompany this masterpiece with some good photoshops
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Blockhead on September 30, 2009, 02:17:50 PM

 LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!


 
 - Block!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: jehwit on September 30, 2009, 02:58:32 PM
:D

someone HAS to acompany this masterpiece with some good photoshops

I prefer my work not be tarnished with anything of the sort.
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Marty Champions on September 30, 2009, 03:07:06 PM
i just came in my eye
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Wiggs on September 30, 2009, 05:16:17 PM
LOL!!!!  This fucking shit is awesome...
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: gordiano on September 30, 2009, 05:18:32 PM
I prefer my work not be tarnished with anything of the sort.

Where's part 3?
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: MindSpin on September 30, 2009, 05:32:50 PM
Lot's of ghey in these writings but hilarious nonetheless. 
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: gordiano on September 30, 2009, 05:36:43 PM
Jehwit, you should submit these to bbing mags. They'd be great content for the schmoes.
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Blockhead on September 30, 2009, 06:42:55 PM

 I almost got turned on reading it! (no homo)



 - Block!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: flexingtonsteele on September 30, 2009, 07:01:13 PM
teh ghey is overwhelming in this thread, I LOVE IT! ( no homo )
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Cleanest Natural on October 01, 2009, 12:25:27 AM
Lot's of ghey in these writings  
you cannot be this dumb lol

lots of ghey ? no shit shrlock

thanx capt obvious ... now go back to "consulting" lol
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: saucetradomous on October 01, 2009, 12:36:58 AM
jehwit is at jean francois level plus humor

he is fucking delirious ( like edy murphy )

Jean is a tier above but jehwit is making some strong advances.
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Mars on October 01, 2009, 12:52:24 AM
i liked it and im not gay
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition!
Post by: Cleanest Natural on October 01, 2009, 02:23:42 AM
Jean is a tier above but jehwit is making some strong advances.
Did you read all his stories ?

he had/has a blog

Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: jehwit on October 23, 2009, 08:39:04 AM
III
Apprehensively, you poke your head into the hotel room at the Mirage next to the Ice Machine.  You discover the aftermath of a several day stand: The bed is a rumpled mess, lipstick stains all over the pillow cases; but...oddly...no sense of a female presence.  The stench of yesterday's excess.  A broken makeshift glass pipe on the floor.  Hung sloppily on the back of the chair is a tacky blue silk shirt, with the monogram BC on the chest and cuffs. You step deeper into the room, looking for Branch's keys.  The room is quiet and still.  Then...from the bathroom...you hear a stifled moan...you just want to find the keys and get out...
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: AC Slater on October 23, 2009, 11:41:56 AM
hahaha
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: _bruce_ on October 23, 2009, 11:43:20 AM
...Bob may not like this...  :D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: benchmstr on October 23, 2009, 11:45:51 AM
...Bob may not like this...  :D
who cares ;D

bench
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: Ex Coelis on October 23, 2009, 12:03:56 PM
The bed is a rumpled mess, lipstick stains all over the pillow cases; but...oddly...no sense of a female presence . . .

Hung sloppily and the back of the chair is a tacky blue silk shirt, with the monogram BC on the chest and cuffs.

haha
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART II
Post by: hugestatus on October 23, 2009, 01:27:14 PM
III
 ...you just want to find the keys and get out...

LOL
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: Wiggs on October 23, 2009, 01:27:14 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uh oh, Chick has his finger on the delete key ready to press. ;D
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: nycbull on October 23, 2009, 01:34:20 PM
what does BC mean, British Columbia?
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: nzmusclemonster on October 23, 2009, 01:45:16 PM
LOLOLOLOLO  ;D ;D ;D ;D

It's really getting exciting now!!! I wonder if the next part will be as steamy as what I have just fantasized  :-X
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: Mr Nobody on October 23, 2009, 03:12:24 PM
LOLOLOLOLO  ;D ;D ;D ;D

It's really getting exciting now!!! I wonder if the next part will be as steamy as what I have just fantasized  :-X
I am forcasting another tv soap opera starting here
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: Blockhead on October 23, 2009, 06:11:03 PM


  All Hail jehwit!

 
  This shit is prescious!



 - Block.
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: BIG_STI on October 23, 2009, 07:37:17 PM
Good to see you back Hank
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: Kwon on April 07, 2010, 05:51:17 AM
Juruth/Jehwit and Jean should do a writing session together, added by some wisdom from Dave Czech!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: lovemonkey on November 04, 2011, 03:39:33 AM
MEGABUMP.
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: nzmusclemonster on November 04, 2011, 01:09:07 PM
Free Jehwit!!!!!
Title: Re: Branch Warren Sequence: Special Olympia Edition! NOW PART III
Post by: _bruce_ on November 04, 2011, 03:09:06 PM
Juruth/Jehwit and Jean should do a writing session together, added by some wisdom from Dave Czech!

His writing style can only be described as highly artistic.