Getbig.com: American Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure
Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: disturbia on December 14, 2009, 06:17:23 PM
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http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191
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LOL! Nice find Josh!
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Hahaha that had me in stitches!
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LOL! Nice find Josh!
<Samanen> Jag måste nog ta livet av mig...
<Samanen> :(
<Giffler> Eh. Va? Vafan har hänt?
<Samanen> Ehm.. Vettefan om jag kan berätta.. Det värsta, mest pinsamma jag varit med om.. Vet inte vad jag skall göra.. Har panikångest i hela kroppen..
<Giffler> .. Du har ju ändå inget att leva för. Då kan du ju ändå berätta! ;D
<Samanen> ..Alltså.. Ok. Men inte ett jävla ord om det. Jag har gjort bort mig så jävla hårt. Mår så jävla dåligt..
<Samanen> och jag brukar göra bort mig jävligt ofta... Men detta slår allt
<Giffler> ./me tar fram popcornskålen :D
<Synca^> (O_o)
<Samanen> Alltså... Du vet tjejen från etage-kvällen.. Vi har fikat ett par ggr och igår skulle jag komma hem till henne..
<Giffler> Jenny?
<Samanen> Ja. Hade jobbat tidigt skift och var jävligt trött. Men jag drar dit och tjejen är snäll och bjur på kaffe..
<Samanen> .. äsch.. fan.. skit samma.. kan inte berätta..
<Giffler> KOM IGEN NU! Har man sagt A får man fan säga B!!
<Samanen> ... vafan... ok.. men fan för dig om du jävlas sen..
<Samanen> Alltså.. Jag var skittrött. Drack säkert 5-6 koppar kaffe.. Grejjen är att jag kan bli jävligt illamående om jag dricker förmycket kaffe..
<Samanen> Men just nu ville jag bara piggna till så jag kunde göra ett gott intryck.
<Samanen> Magen blir iaf helt kass.. Och efter ett tag så känner jag att magen bullrar till ordentligt. Jag vet att jag kommer skita diarré. Det känner man.
<Samanen> Grejjen är.. Jag skiter helst hemma. Och jag vill absolut _inte_ skita hos bruden.. Vi känner knappt varandra.. Och jag vill inte sprutlackera hennes toalett under en kaskad av höga prfrfrlplprfrrrrtrt-ljud.
<Giffler> Haha.. Ja?
<Samanen> Men jag känner att skit-vattnet är påväg.. Så jag ursäktar mig med att jag måste låna toaletten.. Trots allt. Jag hade aldrig hunnit hem.
<Samanen> Jag sätter på kranen, lägger lite papper i toaletten och sätter igång. Skiten flödar som ur en brandspruta. Harrejävlar vad jag våldtar den stackars toaletten. Hörde den nästan ropa på hjälp..
<Samanen> Nu plingar det naturligtvis på dörren. Jag hör att hennes jobbiga storasyrra är på besök. (Dasset ligger nästan vid ytterdörren)
<Samanen> Fan, tänker jag och bajsar vidare.. Försöker hålla igen lite, för att dom inte skall äcklas sönder utanför dörren..
<Samanen> Men dom jävla bajsångorna, i kombination med mitt illamående gör att klökreflexen sätter igång. Så undertiden skit rinner från min röv så råkar jag hosta upp en hel del kaffe... Över kallingarna vid knäna och en liten svart pöl på golvet..
<Giffler> AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! Snälla säg att du ljuger!
<Samanen> För helvete. Du känner mig. Vafan skulle jag ljuga för? Inget att vara stolt över precis..??
<Samanen> Iaf. Jag har skitvatten kommande ur röven. Badrummet stinker värre än en trasig toalett på roskilde.
<Samanen> Vad i helvete tror du händer?!!?! HENNES JÄVLA IDIOT-SYRRA ÖPPNAR DASSADÖRREN. Det jävla låset funkar inte!!!
<Samanen> Jag får ren jävla panik och reser mig upp och bara gallskriker! Hennes syrra skriker till av chocken.
<Samanen> Och nu kommer bruden springande! Bägge tittar på mina kallingar på golvet, som vadar i en svart sörja.
<Samanen> Jag fattar att dom tror att jag bajsat ner mig. Toan stinker ju dessutom av avföring.
<Samanen> Jag kommer inte på vad jag skall säga.. Så jag står helt enkelt med skit i röven, svarta blöta kallingar om anklarna och skriker "DET ÄR KAFFE! KAFFE! KAFFE!! DET ÄR KAFFE!!". Jag måste ju sett ut som en mongoloid.
<Samanen> Iaf.. Jag slängde igen dörren. Torkade mig på 2 sekunder och springer hem med skit mellan skinkorna.. Har inte vågat slå på min mobiltelefon sen det hände... Jag svär... Allt är sant.. Inte ens en enda jäkla överdrift..
<Giffler> .. Detta.. måste sparas.. För alltid.
<Giffler> ...
<Giffler> HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!
<Samanen> tack för stödet... dra åt helvete med dig...
<Giffler> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA HHA!!!!!!!!!!! Jag skrattar så jag gråter!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
<Samanen> ..jävla idiot...
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LOL! Är Samanen en Polare eller? :D
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hahahahah omfg.
This reminds me why i wasted countless hours on the misc back in college.
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OMFG !!!! that shit is funny. Who carries a pee bottle? I wonder if it was Soundness?
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pee bottle.....bhahahahahaha ha
legendary stuff
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HAHAhahah ;D ;D ;D
crazy stuff. he should have a plastic bag to shit in tho
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LOL! Är Samanen en Polare eller? :D
nejnej, kom å tänka på den bara :D
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So I move away from Regina where I had a sweet setup, poker, gym, part time work, a nice setup for myself anyways. My staker basically begs me to move out here (BC) to play full time with him online at his place so we can use collective knowledge to learn more and win more. I at first refused because his mortifyingly hideous slant eyed frogmouthed useless twat of a gf was living her with him. He assures me she is gone back to Edmonton, so I come. I get here, the cock eyed wildebeest midget asian trash whore is here, he knows I, his friends and his family despise her. He has to hide her from his family or they wont talk to him cause she treats him like shit and uses him for money.
So the whole thing fucking falls apart, the poker falls apart, I fucking sublet my apartment til May, spent 2k to move here and have nothing to go back to and am fucking broke. Fuck my life.
Question is: Do I knock the staker out for fucking me over? So I at least get something out of it before I leave.
Sorry for the rant, Im fucking pissed the fuck off.
edit: he just showed up here at this minute and I chased him off the property. I may have to dig a camera out
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LMAO, one of the best ever
legendary story thread
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ive mastered the art of having a boner and taking a piss at the same time.
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what about you get professional help...
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what about you get professional help...
hence the reason he's on getbig
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tag the bitch with a knife
or scare her so much that she leaves, did that with my fathers former thai gf lol. not your average thai though, she was acutally rich lol.
but a psycho.
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So I move away from Regina where I had a sweet setup, poker, gym, part time work, a nice setup for myself anyways. My staker basically begs me to move out here (BC) to play full time with him online at his place so we can use collective knowledge to learn more and win more. I at first refused because his mortifyingly hideous slant eyed frogmouthed useless twat of a gf was living her with him. He assures me she is gone back to Edmonton, so I come. I get here, the cock eyed wildebeest midget asian trash whore is here, he knows I, his friends and his family despise her. He has to hide her from his family or they wont talk to him cause she treats him like shit and uses him for money.
So the whole thing fucking falls apart, the poker falls apart, I fucking sublet my apartment til May, spent 2k to move here and have nothing to go back to and am fucking broke. Fuck my life.
Question is: Do I knock the staker out for fucking me over? So I at least get something out of it before I leave.
Sorry for the rant, Im fucking pissed the fuck off.
edit: he just showed up here at this minute and I chased him off the property. I may have to dig a camera out
Seems to me that you are jealous
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consider it a "lesson learned" and move on
no sense in prolonging or intensifying the situation
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ive mastered the art of having a boner and taking a piss at the same time.
me too, if you are pissing in the toilet it takes concentration....but if you are just pissing outside...just go with it ;D
bench
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consider it a "lesson learned" and move on
no sense in prolonging or intensifying the situation
yeah this seems like the smart move. I leave in a couple days to go back and try and regroup.
although I loveeeeeeeeee Swedes idea
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although I loveeeeeeeeee Swedes idea
scare her to fucking death.
You know you can. hehe
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go to eskimotube.com and jerk off till you feel better.
bench
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Seems to me that you are jealous
get a grip
this is my life and how I make money. I gave up a good situation with the thought of going to a higher level in poker, and in turn making more money.
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go to eskimotube.com and jerk off till you feel better.
bench
hmmmmmmmm Im pretty loyal to pornhub
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hmmmmmmmm Im pretty loyal to pornhub
i have no loyalty...eskimotube is like a movie dictionary for pornstars :D
bench
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goddamn it
i thought i was spreading the message about tubegalore.com
my job hasn't been done apparently
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goddamn it
i thought i was spreading the message about tubegalore.com
my job hasn't been done apparently
i'll give it a try later.....this is the first i heard of it :o ..... ;D
bench
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i'll give it a try later.....this is the first i heard of it :o ..... ;D
bench
you'll thank me later
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www.amateurcumshots.org
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see disturbia....getbig is helping you...one porn site at a time ;D
bench
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i say for the next few days anytime she is around your laptop be showing the hardest core porn you can find volume all the way up make it as awkard for her as you can, then excuse yourself to the bathroom to masterbate loudly ha ha that will mess with them (you dont have to actually masterbate just as long as they think you are)
that will learn em for fuckin with ya
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i say for the next few days anytime she is around your laptop be showing the hardest core porn you can find volume all the way up make it as awkard for her as you can, then excuse yourself to the bathroom to masterbate loudly ha ha that will mess with them (you dont have to actually masterbate just as long as they think you are)
that will learn em for fuckin with ya
dude, he said the girl was asian....asians are into some really freaky shit. youre idea might just get disturbia raped ;D
bench
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on a sidenote my ex wife is back on the drugs and got tossed out of her house
so the whole day wasnt a loss
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Disturbia, I might have missed something here but why haven't you moved to Las Vegas and participate in the local casino games? I'm not an avid poker player myself because I only play the game with psychiatric patients and their doctors and I always lose to the patients (but so do the doctors so I don't feel like a 'fucktard' - Thanks again, mon), but I see countless numbers of young poker playing "kids" playing the game at The Palms, and the "M" and at the Wynn and they always have mountains of chips built around their elbows while the old farts simply stare with a pissed off look.
It seems to me that you would not be one of them 'old fart guys' and just might be able to leave that table with more chips than you could easily handle, so I wonder why you ain't here to take advantage of that situation.
Dis, I have honestly seen these young wippershappers leave the table with armed escorts who have to help carry those chip trays to the casino cage even though the kid has colored up.
If you play as well as I think you play, you would make a killing here and if your are as good as you say you are, I think it would be easy for you to find some financial backers. Of which one,. I AM NOT!
This is a serious post so I hope you respond with a decent answer. Or maybe it is simply offer as a suggestion.
Thanks, Disturbia, Stunt
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As crazy as it sounds maybe you should get a real fucking job
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As crazy as it sounds maybe you should get a real fucking job
ya I agree--enough of this poker bullshit---its time to step up and work for a living.
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the army pays well
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Disturbia, I might have missed something here but why haven't you moved to Las Vegas and participate in the local casino games? I'm not an avid poker player myself because I only play the game with psychiatric patients and their doctors and I always lose to the patients (but so do the doctors so I don't feel like a 'fucktard' - Thanks again, mon), but I see countless of young poker playing "kids" playing the game at The Palms, and the "M" and at the Wynn and they always have mountains of chips built around their elbows while the old farts simply stare with a pissed off look.
It seems to me that you would not be one of them 'old fart guys' and just might be able to leave that table with more chips than you could easily handle, so I wonder why you ain't here to take advantage of that situation.
Dis, I have honestly seen these young wippershappers leave the table with armed escorts who have to help carry those chip trays to the casino cage even though the kid has colored up.
If you play as well as I think you play, you would make a killing here and if your are as good as you say you are, I think it would be easy for you to find some financial backers. Of which one,. I AM NOT!
This is a serious post so I hope you respond with a decent answer. Or maybe it is simply offer as a suggestion.
Thanks, Disturbia, Stunt
I cant cross to the States cause of a lengthy criminal record
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I cant cross to the States cause of a lengthy criminal record
this will create problems getting a decent job, however, it won't prevent you from getting something steady at least.
that will bring some stability to your life, which is a good thing.
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dude, he said the girl was asian....asians are into some really freaky shit. youre idea might just get disturbia raped ;D
bench
good point.....well while you are in the bathroom pretending to masturbate loudly maybe listen incase she does the same...in which case maybe stay in the bathroom...or bang her on a Friday and tell her you have an std..that should be a fun weekend of wondering what she might have one in the std lotto
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try to get into a unionized factory of some sort...I was at one of my customers talking to a guy who worked in one in the auto industry and he polished the floors and he was making 6 figures
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He's too old for the army unless he wants to volunteer as a moving target and I don't recommend that he get a real job unless that real job allows him the time to play the game he loves.
Follow your dream,dude! Move to LV, get a job as a soda jerk or whatever and keep a few hours open each day to play some real poker where the men are men and the women try to be while sitting at the poker table.
I may be wrong here but I think your life is meant to be spent in a real poker game such as is offered all over this hell hole of a city.
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goddamn it
i thought i was spreading the message about tubegalore.com
my job hasn't been done apparently
are you kidding? i even stopped getting handjobs from my wife. now i just run to the basement. it's my 1st bookmark.
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as for the job thing, this has been brought up before by brethren who suffered like me, but UPS hires anyone. hell, as i may have mentioned before, i had a guy work with me who'd get seizures on the job.
you'd have a shit job for about a year loading trailers, then you can move to sorter, do that for a year...anyways, whoever can last for about 5 years can make about 60 k a year delivering packages in the little brown truck. it's by far the most secure way i've seen of making a "decent" living for someone with absolutely no life skills (no offense / no homo).
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as for the job thing, this has been brought up before by brethren who suffered like me, but UPS hires anyone. hell, as i may have mentioned before, i had a guy work with me who'd get seizures on the job.
you'd have a shit job for about a year loading trailers, then you can move to sorter, do that for a year...anyways, whoever can last for about 5 years can make about 60 k a year delivering packages in the little brown truck. it's by far the most secure way i've seen of making a "decent" living for someone with absolutely no life skills (no offense / no homo).
lol no offense / no homo taken
thanks for the tip
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try to get into a unionized factory of some sort...I was at one of my customers talking to a guy who worked in one in the auto industry and he polished the floors and he was making 6 figures
Please show me a "factory" that pays it's workers 100,000+ to wax floors. You were lied to, plain and simple.
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The way to get rid of that third wheel of a whore starts with a stun gun and ends with lighter fluid and an old Jaguar. At least go down in flames!
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The way to get rid of that third wheel of a whore starts with a stun gun and ends with lighter fluid and an old Jaguar. At least go down in flames!
living the dream ;D
bench
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Please show me a "factory" that pays it's workers 100,000+ to wax floors. You were lied to, plain and simple.
In Fort McMurray some make well over that just by driving heavy trucks for long hours at the oil sands plant. I could be wrong, but I believe the training required is quite minimal.
Would you consider moving to Fort Mac disturbia? The job market there is a bit slower now than before from what I've heard though.
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goddamn it
i thought i was spreading the message about tubegalore.com
my job hasn't been done apparently
Rest assured you have touched this life. The site is aptly bookmarked on my computer.
BTW, from this site I've also discover xhamster.com and I like that feature where they give you a preview before you click on it. Saves you a lot of time. Like when you are in the mood for some gang bukake only to find all the good stuff is pixelated. tubegalore should have that very useful feature.
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So I move away from Regina where I had a sweet setup, poker, gym, part time work, a nice setup for myself anyways. My staker basically begs me to move out here (BC) to play full time with him online at his place so we can use collective knowledge to learn more and win more. I at first refused because his mortifyingly hideous slant eyed frogmouthed useless twat of a gf was living her with him. He assures me she is gone back to Edmonton, so I come. I get here, the cock eyed wildebeest midget asian trash whore is here, he knows I, his friends and his family despise her. He has to hide her from his family or they wont talk to him cause she treats him like shit and uses him for money.
So the whole thing fucking falls apart, the poker falls apart, I fucking sublet my apartment til May, spent 2k to move here and have nothing to go back to and am fucking broke. Fuck my life.
Question is: Do I knock the staker out for fucking me over? So I at least get something out of it before I leave.
Sorry for the rant, Im fucking pissed the fuck off.
edit: he just showed up here at this minute and I chased him off the property. I may have to dig a camera out
Did you fu ck the asian?
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Josh: your best bet, get a cash job doing something like roofing, carpentry, etc. and rebuild your life, cut everyone off and start over. In a year or so you should be back on your feet. You can get a job for $10 an hour tax free painting or putting up dry-wall.
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Find a rich slut and get her pregnant.
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ahhh... I'm in tears - the drawings are legendary... ;D ;D ;D
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I think the plunger bit was overkill, but other than that, great stuff.
It's funny that those guys don't understand why you can have an erection at the same time you have to take a dump.
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Back to the streets with your camcorder.it's your calling!
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Tell the guy that hes gonna pay for your expenses to move back and for what you lost in moving to BC. Simple breach of contract really. Tell him he's gonna pay you the easy way or the hard way.
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Did you transfer any money to an Nigerian banker lately who promised you a massive cash back? I can get you in contact with a lot of these financial promising ventures.
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Did you transfer any money to an Nigerian banker lately who promised you a massive cash back? I can get you in contact with a lot of these financial promising ventures.
Oh dude, I still get about 2 emails a week from 'nigerian millaonairase' telling me I somehow inherited 87 million USD from a surplus account that was recently uncovered! all I have to do is send them a cheque for $10,000 and I'm good to go! :D
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Oh dude, I still get about 2 emails a week from 'nigerian millaonairase' telling me I somehow inherited 87 million USD from a surplus account that was recently uncovered! all I have to do is send them a cheque for $10,000 and I'm good to go! :D
There is a chick from my college that I had a major crush on, she just came back fom some African country back in 2003, and she got one of those emails, and she was gullible enough to fall for it. It was in the Baltimore Sun. She is now in Madagascar and shaved off all her hair. Damn black woman has less hair than the natives.
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There is a chick from my college that I had a major crush on, she just came back fom some African country back in 2003, and she got one of those emails, and she was gullible enough to fall for it. It was in the Baltimore Sun. She is now in Madagascar and shaved off all her hair. Damn black woman has less hair than the natives.
Ouch... can't believe how stupid/gullible some people are...the stories in these emails are so ridiculous, you can't believe some people fall for it..
'your uncle had an account with us at _________ <insert random nigerian bank name> in the amount of $23,750,000 USD, we have received word that you are his next of kin and are eligible to claim the account since he is no longer alive. To proceed we need a cheque (or preferably) Money Order for USD $15,000.00 so we can process your moneys.
signed, Abu Fabooorakhi
president <random nigerian bank>
I mean FFS, LOL...give me a break..
you have to be brain dead to believe this shit.
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They should start a Nobel price for illustrations and give it to this dude. The illustrations are fucking genius.
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Ouch... can't believe how stupid/gullible some people are...the stories in these emails are so ridiculous, you can't believe some people fall for it..
'your uncle had an account with us at _________ <insert random nigerian bank name> in the amount of $23,750,000 USD, we have received word that you are his next of kin and are eligible to claim the account since he is no longer alive. To proceed we need a cheque (or preferably) Money Order for USD $15,000.00 so we can process your moneys.
signed, Abu Fabooorakhi
president <random nigerian bank>
I mean FFS, LOL...give me a break..
you have to be brain dead to believe this shit
haha.
Oh but this thread...can you imagine the chick's face as she saw a dude in the shower with a turd in it, turfs on the floor, partial turd on the edge of the bowl, and a semi hard on? And she threatened to call the cops?for what, he was cleaning it up, now she has to clean it up, and unstop the toilet.
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:-X
(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/briansrt4/Theworstdateever.gif)
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:-X
(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/briansrt4/Theworstdateever.gif)
is this from another site of did you just do it?
thats fucking golddddddddddddddd
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is this from another site of did you just do it?
thats fucking golddddddddddddddd
It's from www.bodybuilding.com (http://www.jdoqocy.com/click-1881271-10409943) but I will take full credit. ;D
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It's from www.bodybuilding.com (http://www.jdoqocy.com/click-1881271-10409943) but I will take full credit. ;D
thats the first I have seen of the animated version
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lmao, time for someone to man up and take shit in public restroom
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thats the first I have seen of the animated version
Here is where it got posted on page 33:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=422859231&postcount=990 (http://www.jdoqocy.com/click-1881271-10409943?url=http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=422859231&postcount=990)
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WTF is a pee bottle?
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I have no word(s) to describe that thread...one of the funniest stories I've read in a long time...The drawings were epic.
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Hil-phuckin-larious!
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WTF is a pee bottle?
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This dudes carried a pee bottle???!!!! ;D
(http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u221/_MASSACRE_/epicthread.jpg)
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THIS IS A STORY A FLAT OUT LIE..UNLESS UR RETARDED or have a 20 inch dick thes no way u just dont sit n pee n poop even with the hardon ...i ve done this a few times no very difficult unless retarded i dont think u are i cry bullshit
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THIS IS A STORY A FLAT OUT LIE..UNLESS UR RETARDED or have a 20 inch dick thes no way u just dont sit n pee n poop even with the hardon ...i ve done this a few times no very difficult unless retarded i dont think u are i cry bullshit
LOL nobody said it was true.
It's a story bro, pure entertainment, it's not that serious.
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THIS IS A STORY A FLAT OUT LIE..UNLESS UR RETARDED or have a 20 inch dick thes no way u just dont sit n pee n poop even with the hardon ...i ve done this a few times no very difficult unless retarded i dont think u are i cry bullshit
simmer down queenie...it's only the internets...
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THIS IS A STORY A FLAT OUT LIE..UNLESS UR RETARDED or have a 20 inch dick thes no way u just dont sit n pee n poop even with the hardon ...i ve done this a few times no very difficult unless retarded i dont think u are i cry bullshit
so what you are saying is you have a small dick